Reed’s eyes softened a bit, his eyebrows straightening as he watched her.
She tilted her head. “What is it?”
He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth, then sighed. “Well…”
Oh God. “Give it to me straight.”
“You’re going to have a DUI.”
Tamryn’s heart sank and she closed her eyes. “Shit.” Shaking her head, tears streamed down her cheeks. “What have I done?”
“You could have died, Tam, could have killed someone. In the whole scheme of things, a DUI sucks, and it will be expensive, and you’ll probably lose your license, but you’re alive.”
Tamryn barked a curt laugh. “Such as it is.”
“No, don’t talk like that. You have plenty of livin’ to do, and you’re lucky you survived that crash with only a few minor injuries.”
She sighed, chewing on her bottom lip. A DUI. Embarrassment warmed her chest, her cheeks, regret and shame twisting icy fingers around her heart. She could have killed someone. A mom. A minivan full of kids…
“I don’t know what we would have done without you, Tamryn Baker.”
“You’re about to find out.” Luce stepped into the room, scowling. She glared at Reed. “I’m not exactly sure how or why, but I have a feeling you’re as much as part of this as he is.” She stepped to the side of the bed, squeezing between Reed and Tamryn.
“Don’t be mad at Reed, Luce, it’s not his fault.”
She shot a glare back at Reed. “Bye.”
Reed stood, then dipped his head and headed for the door. “I’ll be in the cafeteria if you need me.”
“We won’t,” Luce snapped.
Tamryn’s tears fell, and she turned away from Luce and those all-knowing eyes of hers.
“You sure picked a shitty way to welcome me home, Thelma.”
Tamryn laughed through the tears. “I’m sorry, Luce.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll make it up to me. Right after you tell me everything.”
Tamryn turned her face back to Luce, then scooted slowly into a sitting position, careful of her beaten body. “Everything?”
“Oh yeah, girl, everything.”
She’d start at the beginning of the end, since starting at the very beginning was pointless—Luce had always known of her feelings for Jake. Tamryn swallowed the knot in her throat, then met Luce’s gaze. “I slept with Reed.”
Chapter
Twenty-Eight
Each day without Jake passed by in a fog. Losing her driver’s license was a pain in the ass; losing Jake Johnson was an insurmountable mountain she climbed every day. Waking up to face another circle around the sun without him made even the things she once loved pointless and drab.
Nearly three months since the crash, and Tamryn was nearly healed. The only visible sign of what had happened was a slight limp in her walk when the air was cold enough to seep into her bones. Recovering from bruised ribs wasn’t an overnight thing, and even after all this time taking it easy and not overdoing it at either job, she still felt a twinge of pain when she moved the wrong way or sat up too quickly, a constant reminder of the mistakes she’d made that nearly cost her life.
In her heart, however, the damage was far greater. The invisible scars of losing Jake, of carrying the shame that comes with drunk driving, of knowing she’d let everyone down; those scars would take far longer than three months to heal.
Far longer. If healing was even a possibility. So far, she didn’t think so.
Work had been good, even though she’d been taking fewer shifts and trying to “stay down” as Charlie frequently reminded her to do. But, regardless of taking it easy, Tamryn had finally saved enough money to get out of Charlie’s house. He’d been hovering since the accident, always asking if she needed something, offering to drive her here and there, insisting on catering to her like she was bedridden, and smothering Tamryn to the point of suffocation.
If her heartache didn’t kill her, Charlie’s overprotectiveness just might.
She appreciated his concern, really she did, but the time had come to spread her wings once and for all. Her whole life, she’d lived under someone else’s watchful eye, whether her parents, Colby and Jake, or now Charlie and Roc, she’d never truly set out on her own. Though she didn’t plan on going very far—she had first and last month’s rent set aside for the tiny apartment above Syd’s coffee shop—she would be living alone for the first time in her twenty-two years.
The concept both thrilled and terrified her, but that was probably natural, and she tried to embrace the anticipation. Less than a week remained until the current tenant moved out, so she just had to get through each moment of doubt with a pep talk, and she’d be living on her own in no time.
Walking to the mailbox, she retrieved the stack of three days’ worth of mail and flipped through its contents as she walked back to the house, stopping dead in her tracks when she recognized that old familiar scrawl.
She inhaled a shaky breath as she read her name in Jake’s handwriting.
Tamryn slid her finger across the words as though she could feel the sender’s hand as he wrote her name and address. She brought the envelope to her nose and inhaled deeply, then rolled her eyes, glancing around to make sure no one had witnessed the ridiculous action.
With a quick shake of her head, she flipped the envelope over, hands shaking as she slowly opened the flap, careful not to damage whatever lay inside. Hope warmed her chest, sending her heart to racing. Had he written the words she knew he felt for her, finally found them within himself and made the first step?
On bated breath, she unfolded the tri-fold paper.
A check fell to the floor.
Jake’s familiar, sharp handwriting scrawled across the page, one singular line, perfectly centered. Her stomach sank.
“Now you can be free,” she read aloud, her voice and heart cracking on the final word.
This was goodbye.
Tamryn blinked, releasing a quiet flood of tears, then bent to pick up the check, vision blurred.
When she was finally able to will the tears to subside long enough to read the amount on the check, she gasped, slapping her hand against her mouth.
Twenty-five thousand dollars.
She blinked, once, twice, her eyes obviously still blurred from the tears; she couldn’t have read that correctly. She closed her eyes, counted to three, then opened them again and focused.
Twenty-five thousand dollars.
She counted the zeroes, just to be sure, but her mind hadn’t tricked her.
Her thoughts raced, but one thing was clear: she couldn’t keep this money, no matter the reason for it or where—who—it came from. Jake did not have this much money, so what had he done to get it?
One more thing was clearer still… this wasn’t something she could just ignore and move on from. They’d have to talk.
She had to go see Jake. No matter how painful it had been to stay away from him all this time, seeing him would cut far deeper, but it was necessary and she’d have to find the courage to do so.
She folded the paper back around the check and slipped them both into the envelope, then stepped back inside and tucked the envelope into her purse. She retrieved her cell phone and dialed Reed’s number.
“Hey, you,” he answered after two rings.
“Hey, Reed, how are you?”
“Good, good, and you?”
“Um…” Tamryn chewed on a hangnail, settling into the couch. “I’m good, too, I guess. I mean…”
“Okay, what’s up? I know that voice.”
“Did you know about this check?”
Silence answered her on the other end of the line.
“Reed.” She sighed. “You know I can’t keep this. Where did he even get this kind of money?” She ran her hand over her forehead.
“The where isn’t really important, Tam, he’s not hurting for money. Never has been, but you wouldn’t know it to look at him.”
Tamryn slumped further down in
the couch. “I had no idea,” she whispered.
“Yeah, well, no one does. But that’s not important. He didn’t do anything unseemly to get it. That money is yours, and you’re going to keep it. You know Jake’s not going to let you give it back.”
“Reed, I can’t. It’s too much.”
“Look at it like it’s all those paychecks he withheld from you, somewhat illegally.”
“Somewhat?” She laughed. “That wouldn’t even be half of this, Reed, and you know it.”
“Eh, who’s to say?” She could hear the smirk in his voice.
“I’m not keeping this.”
“Okay. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. He’s not going to just accept no for an answer and move on.”
Tamryn sighed and closed her eyes, resting her head against the back of the couch. “Now I have to see him.”
“Yep.”
“Ugh.”
“Yep.” Reed chuckled softly.
“Something tells me you’re enjoying my suffering, Reed Samuels.”
“Oh, very much so, Tamryn Baker.”
She sat up and looked at the clock on the DVR. “I’ll need a ride.”
“I’ll be there in five.”
“Make it twenty-five, and you’ve got a deal.”
“Done.”
She pressed end and stood, then walked toward the window to look outside, remembering the day Jake stood at those steps with his flannel open and waving in the breeze. “Damn you, Jake Johnson,” she whispered on a sigh.
“Anything good in the mail today?”
She jumped and spun around to Charlie.
He raised an eyebrow. “Whoa, you all right?”
Tamryn shook her head. “Yeah, sorry, you startled me. I thought you were in bed.”
“I was.” He shrugged, then stepped toward her to retrieve the mail. “Bill. Bill. Bill. Junk. Junk.” He tossed the stack on the coffee table with a grunt. “What’re your plans for this evening? Workin’?” Charlie pulled the gallon of orange juice from the fridge and drank straight from the bottle.
“Charlie Morris!”
He grinned, then swiped the back of his wrist across his mouth. “Sorry, Ma.” He winked and retrieved a cup from the cabinet.
Tamryn glanced at the clock once more, then headed for her room. “I have to get ready. I’m leaving for work soon.”
“This early?” Charlie followed behind her. “Need a ride?”
She stopped at her doorway and turned around to meet his gaze. “No, thanks though. I have someone picking me up.”
Charlie’s smile faded into a thin line. “Him?”
Tamryn sighed. “No, Charlie, not him.”
His eyes narrowed briefly before he turned around. “How are you getting home?” he asked as he headed back down the hall. “Need me to pick you up?”
Tamryn closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’ll figure it out.”
“Suit yourself.”
Maybe she could move into that apartment above Syd’s sooner rather than later.
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
The drive to The Bar was quiet, save for the random clunking and rattling the old Accord made as they hit bumps and potholes on the way from the Mills’ place to the other side of town. Reed had purchased this car right after the accident, something to get him from A to B while he worked on fixing up his dad’s old car.
What would she say when she saw Jake?
Would the sight of him reduce her to tears?
She swallowed the saliva that rushed to her mouth as her stomach churned. Seeing Jake would surely elicit a rush of feelings from her, both good and bad she was sure, but it had to be done. It was time for Tamryn to finally do what she’d been planning, time to stand on her own two feet. And that meant handling difficult things like an adult. Time to face the music.
Being near Jake after these three months apart would be far more difficult than anything she could remember in recent years. Staying out of his orbit was tough; stepping back into it would surely kill her.
“Breathe, Tamryn.” Reed reached across the center divider and patted her leg. “Passing out won’t do you any good.”
Tamryn forced a smile and inhaled a deep breath.
“One more, just for fun.”
She laughed uneasily, then did as she was told, closing her eyes and breathing in through her nose, out through her mouth. Reed was right: passing out would not be helpful. She imagined Jake catching her as she fainted, the perfect image of an old-time knight in shining armor stepping up quickly to save the princess in distress, the lens all rose-colored and ridiculous. That was what she’d actively fought him and Reed about—saving her, and here she was, imagining it—and not hating the idea. “Holy crap,” she muttered.
“What is it?”
“I’m so screwed, Reed.” She shook her head, then looked over at him. “I can’t do this.”
“Okay. Then let’s head to the bank so you can cash that check.”
Her stomach somersaulted. “Not happening.”
Reed grinned and pressed on the gas. “Roger that.”
His phone rang between them and they both looked down. Luce’s face shone from the screen. Reed quickly grabbed the phone and pressed the button to send her to voicemail, but he hadn’t been quick enough.
“Um, Reed?”
His cheeks flushed, and he focused on the road.
Tamryn tilted her head, staring at the side of his face. “Luce hates you.”
“She did, yes.”
Tamryn frowned. “What am I missing?”
Reed patted her knee. “Nothing, really. Don’t pitch a fit.” He side-eyed her. “We just talk from time to time.”
Tamryn rolled her eyes. “Oh, God, she calls you to check in on me, doesn’t she?”
Reed grinned. “Possibly.”
They pulled into the parking lot out front of The Bar, the sinking feeling in Tamryn’s gut intensifying until she thought she might actually get sick. “I need a barf bag.”
Reed laughed, tossing his head back. “Stop it. It’s just Jake.” He pulled the car to a stop, then turned to her. “Look, Tamryn, you’re in love with Jake. He’s in love with you.”
The words brought a tingling to the backs of her eyes, but she forced them open wider so she wouldn’t cry.
“You know it. We know it. Hell, the whole damn town knows it.” Reed tapped two fingers against his temple. “It’s just that you chose the most emotionally-stunted guy on earth and then expected him to embrace it immediately.”
Tamryn narrowed her eyes, a slight tilt to her lips. “Are you saying Jake’s dense?”
Reed snorted a laugh. “Nah, you think?”
Tamryn inhaled a deep breath and nodded. She could do this. She could see Jake, give him his check back, and maybe, just maybe, they could take a step—however small—back toward being friends again.
Or, more than friends, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up.
She smiled and gave a quick nod. “Okay. I can do this.”
“Yes, you can.”
Tamryn’s smile faded slowly. “What do I say?”
Reed laughed. “What do you want to say?”
So much. Nothing. She didn’t know. Too many things had gone unsaid between them, and look where that had gotten her. Drunk driving, broken bones, and an even more broken heart.
“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I can’t accept this check.” She held up her purse.
“Fair enough. Lead with that.”
“And then what?”
Reed raised his eyebrows. “You know, between the two of you…I swear.” He shook his head. “Why don’t you tell him the truth?”
“About what?”
“About everything, Tamryn. Everything.”
Tamryn swallowed hard. “Everything?”
Reed nodded. “Everything.” He squeezed her hand. “Start with how you feel. He has a right to hear it from you.”
She nodded, though she couldn’t
bring herself to outright agree with Reed. Tell Jake how she felt? That was easier said than done, something she’d proven time and time again. But she could go in there and start with giving him the check back. Once she got a feel for how the conversation was going, she’d consider telling him how she felt. Hell, maybe he’d swoop her up into his arms and profess his feelings first. That would make this conversation a heck of a lot easier.
She gave a curt nod, more to herself than Reed. “Okay, let’s do this.”
“I’ll be right here waiting for you.”
Tamryn’s eyes widened and her heart stuttered. “What? You’re not coming in with me?” She looked around to see if any cars were in the parking lot. Maybe Gennie or Randy were inside. She couldn’t be alone with Jake. No way. Not yet.
“This is between you and Jake. I’m staying out of it.” He raised his hands in surrender. “Go on.”
Tamryn stared at Reed for a good long minute, then shook her head. “You’re a terrible person.”
“Tell me how you really feel.” He winked, then nodded toward The Bar. “Go on, git.”
Tamryn stepped out of the car and shut the door gently. She scanned the area once more, the primal need to flee waking up with a roar inside her. Taking one last deep, soothing breath, she tamped down her escape mechanism and stood tall, squaring her shoulders as she approached the door.
“Lord, give me strength.” She placed her palm against the door. “And for the love of all things holy, please don’t let me pass out.” She opened the door, stepped inside, inhaled the familiar whiskey and wood scent of the Johnson men, then waited impatiently while her eyes adjusted to the change in light.
He stood behind the bar with his back to her, shirt off and shoulders glistening with sweat.
Tamryn fought back a groan. Kill me now. She took another step inside the bar, even though every cell in her body told her to retreat.
Abort! Abort!
Seeing him was too much. Too much familiarity, too much longing, too much pain.
Jake looked up at the clock on the wall. “You’re late, bro.”
Chapter
Whiskey Burned (Flawed Heroes Book 2) Page 16
