Just Once

by Rebecca Brooke

  “Touché.”

  We laughed together and it felt good; like we were somehow lighter for it. While neither of us wanted to admit it, we both had our concerns about tomorrow.

  And I hadn’t even shared my news yet.

  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that by not telling him, I would be breaking the same trust I’d asked him to give me. That day by the sandbags he promised not to push me away. Wasn’t I guilty of doing the very same thing if I left certain pieces of the puzzle out?

  Once his laughter died down, Colin picked up his fork to continue eating.

  “They flew Jensen to Germany this morning,” I said quietly.

  His head snapped up. “Excuse me? What did you say?”

  “Jensen had to have his appendix removed last night. They did the surgery here and sent him to Germany to recover.”

  He set his fork down with the utmost precision. “Does that mean you won’t be flying?”

  The undercurrent of hope in his voice should have pissed me off, but part of me understood where it came from. I had the same concerns. “No. They’ve assigned me a new co-pilot.”

  “Are you as comfortable with him?” Colin knew from our conversations how long Jensen and I had been a team.

  “Today was the first time I’d flown with him.” I braced myself, waiting for his obvious reaction, but it never came.

  Then again, his hands were gripping the table with such a strong hold that his knuckles were white. I could see the measured rise and fall of his chest, as if he was forcing himself in inhale and exhale.

  “Colin, you need to calm down. We did fine together today. Davis is an excellent pilot. It’ll be fine. Besides, I’m just the taxi. You have to do all of the hard work when we get there.”

  Colin shook his head. “I’m not sure that makes me feel any better.”

  I reached over and covered his hand with mine. I wanted to reassure him and it didn’t matter that we were in a room full of other soldiers. I could deal with the fallout later—Colin knowing I was confident about this was more important.

  I wasn’t sure when it happened, or how it happened so quickly, but Colin had become the most important thing to me.

  Everything else was just background noise.

  He glanced down at our hands and back up at me. “Promise me one thing,” he said. The crease of his brow and crinkles around his eyes made it very clear he was completely serious.

  “What’s that?”

  “Promise me you’ll be careful. If there’s any sign of trouble, you’ll get out of there.”

  “We’ll drop you off and be gone before anything happens.”

  He glared at me and I knew I hadn’t told him what he wanted to hear. In reality, I wasn’t sure it was a promise I could make, but with the look in his eyes, I knew I had to. I just hoped I didn’t have to break it. “I promise at the first sign of trouble, I’ll get out of there.”

  “Thank you.”

  We went back to our meals, neither of us eating much. The atmosphere between us had changed. When our time was up he stood, collecting my tray like every other night.

  “I’m sorry. I wish we could go for a walk tonight, but we have a pre-mission ritual.”

  “I understand.” I didn’t want him to do anything different. Hopefully, it would calm his nerves. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  He bent his head toward me slightly and for a moment I thought he might kiss me, right there in the middle of the mess hall. He moved a half an inch forward when something in his brain must have clicked. He gave his head a quick shake and stood straight.

  “Good-night,” he said and left the tent.

  After a moment I followed him out and went to my own bunk. If there was ever a time where a good night’s sleep was needed, it was on days like this.

  ***

  Although we wouldn’t leave until later in the afternoon, planning to land in the cover of darkness, the day passed quickly. The flight there was a little over an hour at top speeds, but we didn’t want to draw any attention. The goal was to make it there in two hours.

  The plan was to drop the rangers and leave. Once we received their signal, we’d be wings up again.

  Davis, myself, and our ground crew were doing our final inspection when the rangers pulled up to the landing pad. I could see them from inside the cockpit, but it was likely they couldn’t see me with the setting sun. Colin hopped out of the jeep and directed three different sets of troops to the waiting Black Hawks.

  My heart practically beat out of my chest when I saw him heading in my direction. There was no way he could know which one I’d be on. It made me a little nervous, seeing as I didn’t want anything that might happen between us to jeopardize the plan, so I held my breath and watched him walk toward the craft. If Davis noticed anything he didn’t say a word. Most of the soldiers had already climbed aboard and were waiting for their commander.

  Colin.

  He stepped up and I turned in my seat. Even with us both wearing protective sunglasses, I knew the second he saw me. There was a slight inclination of his head, then he turned to focus on his troops. Whether or not he was glad about flying with me, I didn’t know. All I could do was get them there and get out like I’d promised.

  “Ready whenever you are, Brant,” Davis said, coming to take the seat next me in the front.

  Once the soldiers were secure we started up the rotors. The time for planning was over. We’d get them to the landing point, then it was up to them.

  For the first time I wished there was a rearview mirror. A single glance would have sufficed; something to let me know that he was calm. But I couldn’t be that selfish. Colin had a job to do and he needed his head in the game. While my job ended when we left them at the drop zone, he still had a long night ahead of him. Just like he worried about me, it was my turn to worry about him.

  “All right, guys, we’re about ten minutes out,” I called out over the headset.

  No sooner had the words left my mouth than the radar picked up something heading directly for us.

  “Shit!” Davis yelled. “It’ll hit us head on.”

  “We have enough time,” I replied, my body reacting on impulse as I sprung to action.

  I could hear the buzz of the soldiers in the headset, but my focus was strictly on pulling us out of the way. My heart picked up pace, each beat thrumming through my chest. The rocket was moving quickly, gaining speed as we moved toward it. Gripping the control stick, I pitched us to the left.

  The helicopter jerked, the rocket missing us by inches. In the spilt second I had to realize what was happening, my heart sunk.

  Two rockets.

  They had to have been on the same trajectory for the radar to only pick up one. There was nothing we could do about it now aimed for the right side of the craft. It hit us before a warning could leave my lips.

  Smoke filled the cabin, the fog making it difficult to see anything. I held tight to the control stick, hoping like hell that I could keep us from crashing to the ground in a fiery inferno. The heat building at my back told me time was a luxury I didn’t have. If I couldn’t land us safely, the fire would consume us . . . and reach the fuel tank.

  Screams echoed in my ears. Sounds of pain; of torment; of death. The smell of burnt flesh filled my nose. Through it all, a voice in the back of my head begged me to find Colin. To make sure he was alive and unharmed. That couldn’t happen until we were safely on the ground.

  Pulling on all of my senses, I forced myself to ignore the horror I knew was unfolding behind me and pushed the control sticking down, slow and steady.

  Whatever the original mission, the plan had changed.

  Chapter 11

  Colin

  It was amazing how much more sensitive your other senses became when one of them was compromised. I could hear my comrades calling out to one another like the volume had been turned up inside my skull, each cry clearer than the last. I sucked in a breath to check that everyone was okay but the
smoke caught at the back of my throat, drying out my mouth and making my lungs seize. My eyes burned as I tried to see through the thick air. I tried to move but my leg felt like a dead weight beneath me. Running my hands down my fatigues, I came into contact with a large piece of debris. I managed to shift it to one side, freeing my leg, but when I tried to stand a shooting pain rushed up through my body and my face hit the dirt. How many were dead or wounded?

  What the fuck knocked us out of the sky?

  As I shifted my weight a searing pain traveled down my right leg. I tried to see in the dark but there was just too much smoke. Pushing up to a seated position, I searched around for a weapon or something to defend myself with.

  My hand landed on an arm. I ran my hand along it and felt hot metal. Someone was trapped beneath it. I shoved at whatever was holding the body down. The smoke began to clear and I could just make out a face in the dim light.

  The co-pilot.

  And his eyes were open.

  And not in a good way.

  The crash had killed him. And if I didn’t get my ass out of there soon, I’d be dead too.

  The sounds outside grew distant. Forcing myself to my feet, I braced my weight on my left leg and went in search of my sidearm, which must have been thrown during the crash.

  I scrabbled across the dirt, my legs giving out every few feet as I navigated through the debris. I felt something hard and metal under my fingers. Wrapping my hand around the barrel of what felt like a pistol I dropped to my knees, attempting to catch my breath, the pain in my leg increasing with each move I made.

  The screeching of metal, much like nails down a blackboard, made me look up.

  I wasn’t alone.

  I raised my arm, holding the gun trained on the intruder. Suddenly, I was blinded by light.

  “Colin, is that you?” a female voice asked.

  The sound was muffled. I couldn’t make out who it was. I held up my hand to shield my eyes from the light. As my eyes adjusted to the change in light I saw her face. Joey.

  “Yeah, it’s me.”

  She crouched over me, her fatigues covered in a film of red dust. I scanned her body for injury but she appeared fine. “Threat?” I asked.

  “Neutralized,” she replied, and I felt my body sag in relief. As sergeant, it was my job to lead my team, but with my leg as it was I knew I wouldn’t be much good.

  “We thought you were dead.”

  I shook my head. “Not dead, just have one fucked up leg.”

  “Shit,” she said, rushing over to the med kit to bring it back to me.

  “Most of the guys are okay,” she called over. I wasn’t sure whether she wanted me to know or whether she was just letting me know she was still there. “A few minor injuries. They’re setting up a perimeter as we speak.”

  She brought the med kit over. Under the light I saw, for the first time, the damage to my leg. There was a long metal strip imbedded in my thigh, right above my knee. It had missed my femoral artery by inches.

  “Fuck. That should hurt way more than it does.”

  The lines around her eyes were creased. “It will,” she said, pulling bandages out of the kit. “One, it’s still stuck in there. Two, your adrenaline is pumping. Once that wears off, the pain’s going to hit full force.”

  I moved my leg to get into a better position and had to stop myself crying out. I tried to keep as still as possible. For the moment it only seemed to hurt when I moved it.

  “Lie down, this is gonna hurt.” She winced. I knew she didn’t want to cause me pain any more than I would want to had our positions been reversed.

  I followed her directions, but had to ask, “How do you know so much about field medicine?”

  “We’re required to learn the basics, same as you. It’s not often we have a medic on board unless we’re transporting wounded.”

  Joey was focused on her task so I didn’t want to distract her any further, but I knew by the pain that the wound was bad. I needed to keep myself awake and alert, and the only way to do that was to focus on something else. She continued to talk. What she said I couldn’t tell you because it was all I could do to concentrate on the soft tone of her voice. It was so soothing, I didn’t realize that she was ready to pull out the metal until pain erupted through the lower half of my body. Black spots danced across my vision and my skin broke out in a sweat, even though my whole body felt ice cold.

  “Still with me?”

  I groaned, trying to bite back the cry of pain. “Yeah, I’m still here.”

  “Good. I’m gonna bandage your leg.”

  I sat up. “Get me a radio. They obviously know we’re coming. There’s no point in radio silence anymore.”

  “Sarge,” another voice called from outside the wreck. “Is that you?”

  It took me a second to pick out the voice. “Yeah, Thompson, it’s me.”

  He stepped into the wreck. “We set up a perimeter until rescue units can get here.”

  “Get me a radio. Knowing the asshole we’re after, it won’t be enough to bring in backup troops. We’re going to need to finish the mission.”

  “Give me a minute, Sarge.” Thompson went searching in the back for any radio we could use because even from where I was I could see the chopper’s radio was out of commission.

  I looked up at Joey as she continued to bandage my leg. She was completely focused on the task. “Joey?”

  She didn’t look at me. I knew she was trying to hide her feelings. “Joey, look at me,” I said in a low voice for her ears only.

  She glanced up but didn’t meet my gaze. “What happened to Davis?” I asked.

  “Dead. He was killed when the rocket hit us.”

  I reached out and lay my hand on hers. “That’s not your fault.”

  “I know that.” Something was off in the tone of her voice.

  “Then why won’t you look me in the eye?”

  “Because I don’t want to see the pain in your eyes. I know I’m hurting you,” she whispered.

  “I’ll be fine. This is nothing.” It was a lie. She knew it, I knew it. But if I was going to get my men up in the mountains, I needed to believe it was nothing.

  “Here.” Thompson handed me the backup radio we’d packed to call for a pickup.

  I took hold of it and immediately contacted base. They hadn’t heard from the other two choppers. The assumption was that they landed fine and the soldiers were already on route to the destination. Unfortunately, they wouldn’t know until the Black Hawks returned to base. Even though I could no longer make the trip in, the commanders agreed that the mission should continue as planned. They wouldn’t be able to send in any additional troops or transport until the threat was taken care of.

  “Yes, sir. We’ll pick up some Bud Light on our way back.”

  Joey’s eyes narrowed. I knew she hadn’t understood one bit of the conversation: all of it in code. Thompson, on the other hand, caught every word and I could tell he was not happy about it. I put the radio down and looked up at him.

  “Begging your pardon, sir.” Only the newbies called me sir. Thompson would only use it to annoy the shit out of me. “We can’t leave you here. You’re in no position to defend yourself.”

  “It’s not up for negotiation. You’re in charge of getting them into position.”

  “Sarge?” A look of concern passed over his features like a shadow. I would not let them see weakness. They had a mission to complete and it didn’t include worrying about me.

  My head started to spin. I could feel the pain slithering through my body. It was becoming harder to talk and make sense. I needed to get them out of here before it became obvious just how bad I was. “Don’t make me say it again. The rest of team will be decimated if you don’t get your asses up there.”

  For a moment he looked like he wanted to argue, but he kept his mouth closed and nodded. “Fine, but we’ll be back once it’s done.”

  “No you won’t. You’ll call for transport as planned. They’ll send
someone else to get me.”

  “Us,” Joey piped up.

  My head snapped in her direction. “You’re not staying here.”

  “I’m not qualified to finish the rest of the mission. Besides, someone needs to stay with you.”

  “I don’t need a babysitter,” I snapped. I needed to get everyone out of there. Every small movement of my body sent sharp, stabbing pains up my leg. The death grip I had on the radio to help push past the pain was no longer having the same effect as before. Joey had been right: the adrenaline was wearing off and taking me down with it.

  “With all due respect, I’m likely to get myself or others killed in this type of mission. For the benefit of everyone, I’m staying here.” She turned to Thompson. “I’m giving you the order to go and go now. Sgt. Dunham is out of commission and I will be staying.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Thompson ran to collect the other troops and leave before I could utter one word of protest.

  “What the fuck, Joey?”

  “Shut up, Colin. I’m keeping my promise.”

  “You’re not safe.” The inside of the craft began to spin and my mouth filled with a metallic taste that made my face contort. Tiny pin pricks like pins and needles broke out all over my skin. “Fuck,” I muttered grabbing my head.

  “Colin?” Joey squatted down next to me. Taking hold of my shoulders, she slowly lowered my upper body to the floor. “We need to get your feet elevated.”

  “Fine,” I agreed, only because if I sat up for another second I would end up puking my guts up.

  “This is why I stayed. You can’t protect yourself right now. You barely stayed upright giving your orders.”

  “I can—”

  “No, I saw you gripping that radio as hard as you could.” She pulled something out of the med kit. “I’m going to give you a dose of morphine. How long is the trek to wherever they’re going?”

  The needle slid into my thigh and the relief of the medicine made my breathing easier.

  “About thirty minutes on foot, but that was factoring in the element of surprise. Now they know we’re coming. The mountains are the hideout of one of the leading insurgents in the area. The original plan was to get to hideout and take out the leader.”