Seems Like Old Times

by Joanne Pence

  I don't want to see you with that boy anymore, Lisa. He's wrong for you in every way background, class, religion... race.... Wild boys like him only want one thing from a girl.

  Don't you talk back to me, Lisa Marie! I know what I'm saying. You're too innocent. I protected you too much. I’m trying to raise you in a way that would have made your daddy proud. But this disappoints me. If only you knew how it tears at my heart when you're with him! If only you'd stop seeing him, Lisa, I'd feel so much better. I could be proud of you again...

  Lee's hand shook as she ran it over her brow. She picked up used paintbrushes and rollers and threw them in the trash bag. Why had Judith kept so much junk? She tried to think about what she was doing, only about what she was doing....

  I can't see you anymore, Tony.

  She remembered forcing out those words to him very early in their relationship, when they were still junior, and she thought she could turn love on and off like a spigot. Judith had ordered her to stop seeing him, and she was young enough, then, that she foolishly had tried to comply.

  I can't see you anymore, Tony.

  Why? Is there someone else?

  No! My mother doesn't want me to...to see anyone. I have to think about college, to prepare myself

  College is a long way off. Anyway, we're none of her damn business!

  But we are. At least, I am. I'm all she's got left. Ever since the accident when my father was killed, and her leg...

  Don't cry, Lisa.

  I'm sorry, Tony.

  She rubbed her eyes, not wanting to remember. He had been so young then...and she had been so willing to hurt him because Judith had demanded it.

  Do you want to stop seeing me, Lisa?

  No! God, no!

  Then we’ll just make sure your mother doesn’t know.

  She remembered staring at him in shocked silence. She’d never gone against her mother’s wishes.

  We’ll be careful. She’ll never know. Anyway, what can she do about it?

  I don’t--

  Someday, we’ll get away from this crummy town, like we both want. We'll make it big, have money, everything we've hoped for. And you know what else, we'll always be together, Lisa.

  Tell me again, Tony. Make me believe you.

  Always, Lisa.

  Always...

  o0o

  Lee cleared the garage and den, throwing away everything but a few old photos of her father. She gave most of them to her aunt.

  Cheryl called late the next morning, full of apologies and curiosity about the meeting with Tony. Lee told her all was forgiven, that she and Tony had a nice talk, then said good-bye and that was that. She decided it would be best not to ever mention they had talked about her going to a Little League game. That, she knew, had been spur-of-the-moment inspired folly.

  "Well," Cheryl said, "you can't blame me for wanting you two to meet again. You guys had something special together. I don't know what caused the break-up, but I just thought if--as adults--you two talked, you could at least be friends again."

  Later that day, Lee made the long delayed journey to the mall stores that sold carpeting and drapery, and selected neutral colors in standard draw drapery and wall to wall carpeting that would warm the heart of any realtor.

  Miriam had been invited to dinner at a friend's house. "Would you like to come to Rachel's house with me tonight?" she asked.

  "I don't think so. I'll just take it easy."

  "In that case, why don’t you call the Little League office and find out if Tony’s team has a game today? And if they do, then go to it." With that, she breezed out the door.

  Lee gawked at her. Had it been purely a coincidence that she ended up at Settlers park on Sunday when Tony’s game was being played? Miriam hadn’t planned that, had she?

  Actually, Lee was ahead of Miriam. She'd already called the League office and learned Tony's team had a four-thirty game. She wanted to go it. Why not do it? She'd seen Tony, talked to him, and her heart, mind and spirit survived quite nicely, thank you very much. Seeing him again made her realize she would always have a lingering fondness for him, a girl's romantic first love feelings, not those of a mature woman. And yet...

  In the past, there had been such magic between them. What if it was still there, ready to erupt?

  No. She wouldn’t go. She walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, then promptly shut it. Eating was not the answer. She walked to the family room and turned on the TV. Two rounds through the channels with the remote told her that wasn’t the answer either. She went into the living room and picked up a book, but sat with it unopened. Outside, the grass was green, the sun warm. What was she doing in the house? This was California--nobody stayed indoors here.

  Was she afraid to see Tony again? Had he taken on some mystical, mythical force within her psyche that made her see him as much more than he was? He was just a man, an old boyfriend, nothing special. If she couldn’t see that now, maybe she’d better get to that game and look at Tony until she did realize it.

  Placing him on some kind of pedestal was not a healthy thing to do.

  She pinned her hair up casually, changed into a natural linen Jil Sanders pants suit, a rust-colored silk shell, and ivory colored Ferragamo sandals.

  Her spirit buoyed as she walked toward the ballpark. There was a timelessness to baseball, even Little League, that she loved. The games were interesting, and she honestly liked seeing how very much the kids enjoyed themselves.

  She searched for Tony as soon as she reached the baseball field, and found him pitching batting practice to the boys. He wore jeans and a loose gray sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off above the elbows. As she stepped nearer the field, he turned. The brim of his baseball cap shaded his face, but still she could see the quizzical look on his face. This time he lifted his arm high and waved at her. She waved back, smiling.

  What the hell are you doing here, Reynolds? Her pulse began to beat a little too fast, and her smile spread a little too wide. It’s not because it’s Tony, she told herself. It’s just that there's something about a man in a baseball cap, a devilish, carefree mischievousness that, mixed with athletic male sexiness, was disarmingly appealing.

  She bought a diet Coke then settled in the stands to wait for the game to begin. She noticed people eyeing her. Used to that, she ignored them.

  Game time came and went. The coaches and umpires were huddled together for a long time, and all of them keep looking toward the entrances to the park.

  The players and their parents shifted restlessly.

  Tony jogged over to the stands and looked up at her. "Lisa, we need you."

  Everyone's attention turned to her. Her gaze danced from side to side, hoping against hope that he was addressing some other Lisa. No such luck.

  "Please." He held out his hand to her. There wasn't much she could do but go to him.

  He took her hand and walked with her to the other coach and umpires as easily as if they had walked hand in hand only yesterday instead of seventeen years ago. "Here she is," he said. "Lisa can do the announcing, if she’s willing."

  "What?" She gawked at him.

  "Our announcer didn't show, and most of the parents get really nervous in front of a mike. But you can handle it easily. Okay?"

  "Me?" So much for all her television-trained smoothness and eloquence.

  The coach from the other team was an older man, tall, paunchy, with flyaway red hair and small eyes. He squinted as he grimaced at her. "She might know how to use a mike, but does she know baseball?"

  "I taught her myself," Tony said.

  "Yeah, but do you know it, Santos?" he said with a smirk.

  Lee wasn't about to be discussed like some mannequin. "I know baseball." Her firm voice invited no nonsense.

  He put up his hands. "All right, I won't argue, lady." He jabbed a thumb in Tony's direction. "We're gonna cream Santos's team. I just want to make sure you get all our great plays right."

  "Stuff it, Snyder," Tony said
. "The only reason your team's gonna have a fighting chance is that you're too old to play."

  Snyder laughed, and so did Tony. Lee looked from one to the other. She had thought they were on the verge of blows, and now they were laughing. Men! "So give me your line up cards," she said, "and let's play ball."

  o0o

  She had to admit, announcing the game was fun. Not easy, though. She had to do some very creative thinking not to call almost every play an error on someone. She wondered if the pitchers realized they both pitched no hitters, even though the final score was Panthers 15, Bruins 9? Those walks will kill you every time.

  She stepped out of the announcer's booth to find Ben Santos waiting for her. Her mind whirled and for a moment, she stared at him before she realized what she was doing. She made herself stop and smile. Looking at player stats between innings, she'd learned he was nine years old and in the fourth grade. He was small for his age, and slender, though his face still had the roundness of a young child. His hair was black, like Tony’s but it had a lot of wave to it. His eyes were big and brown, his skin, though olive, was fairer than his father’s. He was of an age where his front teeth looked way too big for his mouth, but still, he was a very good-looking boy, so much so that she noticed a group of little fourth-grade girls watching and giggling over him. Oh, those Santos men.

  His uniform was smudged and stained, but his face wore a big, proud grin. "I know you," he said.

  That surprised her. "Do you watch Evening Newscene?"

  Her question seemed to confuse him. "No. My dad's got a picture of you in his den."

  Her breath caught, then she smiled at him, cool and polished, as if his words didn’t mean a thing to her. "Well, I know you, too. You're Ben Santos, a very good baseball player."

  "That's right." His face lit up just the same as she'd seen his father's do time and again. "My dad said I shouldn't let you go home until you go over and see him."

  How arrogant of him! "Is that so?"

  "Yeah. But he said I shouldn't make you mad. That didn't make you mad, did it?"

  Her mouth tightened. "No, Ben. Not at all." She walked with Ben until Tony came into view, then Ben ran to join his father. Tony had gathered the team together and was giving them a talk about the game, praising good plays, instructing how to remedy bad ones, and making the kids feel good about themselves and their team. Her irritation vanished.

  Her legs and back felt stiff as she waited. Before long, the boys were released. With whoops and hollers they charged off to their awaiting parents.

  Tony turned around, as if searching, and stopped when he saw her standing by the fence. He grinned as he approached. "I was afraid you'd hurry off," he said, stopping in front of her, hands on hips. "I wanted to thank you for announcing. I figured Miwok ought to get some benefit from all that talent."

  "Actually, I enjoyed it."

  One eyebrow lifted skeptically.

  "Hey, you two," Snyder called. "Pizza time. Come and join us, Lisa. You weren’t half-bad. Maybe you’ll do it again sometime?"

  She nearly choked. "Unfortunately, I’m leaving town soon."

  "Too bad." Snyder waved and hurried off with his team.

  As Ben joined them, Tony lifted the duffel bag with bats and balls onto his back, then draped his free arm around Ben's narrow shoulders as they started walking off the field. She'd forgotten how easily Tony touched people.

  Tony said, "We can understand if you don’t want to join us. I doubt a 'pizza supreme' sounds like the kind of thing you'd want to eat."

  "Tell her the place has video games, Dad," Ben said, then spun in front of Lee and started walking backwards. "They're great, Lisa."

  "Oh?" she said, unable to contain a wide smile as she watched him.

  "Do you play?" Tony asked. "Watch where you’re going, Ben."

  "I've never tried," she replied.

  "Then you got to come," Ben shouted, jumping up and down in excitement. "I can show you a whole bunch of neat games, okay?"

  She glanced at Tony, then her eyes lingered on Ben. "How can I refuse such an offer?"

  "All right!" Ben threw both arms in the air like Joe Montana after a touchdown. God, where had that image come from, she wondered? Now she was even remembering old northern California sports scenes, and she didn’t even like sports.

  As they walked along, her gaze kept veering toward the man she used to know so well, and to his son, who greeted her with such openness and warmth. Ben was very much the way Tony used to be, open, curious, warm and friendly. Inexplicably, her heart felt heavy.

  Ben must have felt her staring at him because he suddenly turned her way. "Are you really on TV?"

  "Yes, I am."

  "Wow, neat!" He ran ahead to the parking lot.

  o0o

  The Pizza Palace was the place to go if you were a Little Leaguer. It crawled with little boys in uniforms. Tony led Lee to the side of the Palace that had three enormous television monitors, each broadcasting a different game--the Giants on one, the A's on another, and a tennis championship on the third.

  The video games were on the other side of the Palace, and Tony gave Ben two dollars to play them while their pizza was being prepared. Ben left, but immediately came back.

  "I promised Lisa, Dad."

  Tony looked at her, "She might want to eat first."

  The thought of sitting alone with Tony was disquieting. "Now is fine. Let's go, Ben."

  "Wait, son." Tony exchanged the two dollar bills for a fiver. "You'll need a few tokens--and Lisa will need a whole lot of them."

  "Yeah, she probably will."

  Lee gave them both a "That’s what you think" look and followed Ben to the token machine.

  Tony sat with his elbows on the tabletop, watching the two of them make their way through the crowd. She was as puzzling to him as ever. Lee Reynolds had the reputation of being one of the sharpest interviewers on TV. She did her homework well, went for the political jugular and her interviews had made a shambles of more than one career. He wasn't surprised. Even in high school she had drive, sharpness, an edge to her that made people take notice...and be wary. Yet, she'd come to a pizza parlor and she'd shown up at two Little League games. He was afraid to speculate on why, but the attraction that had glued him to her side when they were teens still sparked between them, like kindling ready to ignite. It was there amazingly. Wonderfully. Frighteningly.

  There was a cool control about her now, an odd formality that spoke of experience and poise, yet was provocatively seductive. Once she had been all freshness and promise, but now she was changed--much more a challenge, much more a woman. He recognized her defenses because they mirrored his own, and the hell of it was, they only made him want to be with her that much more.

  Christ, but he must have been an arrogant cuss when he was young to think an intelligent, sophisticated woman like that would want to stay with him. Even his wife had left him, and compared to Lisa, she was nothing. He snorted. That was the problem with their marriage. He had always compared her to Lisa, and she had always come up short. His failed marriage to Catherine had been as much his fault as hers. Probably more.

  He'd been a fool about Lisa once. And she'd stripped him of everything--his pride, his self esteem, his very manhood. He'd given her his heart and soul, and she'd turned her back on him. He would never forgive her for that, as much as she might charm him now. He was older, wiser. And he wouldn't make the same mistake about her twice.

  Still, she was the most beautiful thing on two legs. And her baby blues, he feared, could still tie him up in knots faster than a Cy Young winner could pitch one over the plate.

  He hated the confused way she made him feel.

  A good half-hour after ordering the pizza, Tony heard his name called over the loudspeaker to pick up his order. The Palace liked its customers to have plenty of time to lose money on video games before they ate. He went in search of Ben and Lisa.

  Lee was a study in concentration as she tried to get a little plumber
to make his way through some sewers without getting killed by the monsters lurking within them.

  "She's pretty good, Dad," Ben said.

  At the words, she looked up, and flashed Tony a warm, radiant smile that snagged his breath. Suddenly it was as if the clang and cling and buzz of the electronic games were being played right in his head. "I don't have a clue what I'm doing," she said, facing the video screen again. "But Ben knows all about it."

  "Jump!" Ben yelled.

  Lee pushed the jump button and the little plumber leaped safely over a hole in the earth.

  "All right!" Tony and Ben cheered.

  She was so pleased, she eased up on the controls, immediately allowing a whirling dervish to plow into the plumber and blow him to smithereens.

  "Oh, no!" Ben cried.

  Lee stepped back from the controls. "Silly game," she muttered, her lips pursed as she glared at the screen. "One more try." She dropped another token into the slot.

  Tony and Ben’s eyes met, and they laughed.

  o0o

  Tony drove Lee back to the parking lot at Settler's Park. Ben had crawled onto the backseat. Lee sat at Tony’s side, cocooned in the warmth of his big SUV. It was filled with sports gear, tack, and ranch tools, and smelled of earth, sweat and sunshine. When Tony pulled into the lot and stopped beside her Cadillac, she turned, peering between the bucket seats, to say good night to Ben. He was stretched out on the back seat, fast asleep, his baseball cap still on his head. He looked little, and completely angelic. She had spent enough time with him that evening to know he was no angel. He kept Tony hopping, not because he was bad--he wasn't--but he was all boy, full of energy, curiosity and fun. She cocked her head and kept looking at him, feeling a deep, wrenching tug at her heart as she did so.

  "He's had a busy day," Tony said softly. Turning like Lee, he, too, peered between the front bucket seats rather than trying to look over the headrests. His head moved close to hers, so close her skin tingled.

  "He's a fine boy, Tony," she whispered.

  "He is." Her gaze shift from Ben to him, and she could see the pride in his eyes. Quickly, awkwardly, as if realizing they were too close, he straightened, sitting back away from her. Her chest tightened.