Vortex

by Kimberly Packard

  A little voice in the back of his head had told him it was a bad idea to date his co-anchor all along.

  He needed to give that little voice more credibility in the future.

  “Please give me another chance.”

  “Another chance to do what? Ruin what’s left of my career?”

  “You’re not being fair.”

  He drew his arm back, ready to chuck his phone into the canal, but he took a deep breath and tightened his grip.

  “What’s not fair is listening to you screw another man while I’ve got a camera on my face. What’s not fair is me taking the fall for calling you a slut in front of all of America when we both know damn well that was the nicest thing I could say about you.” Seth turned back to the window and watched his grandmother wipe tears from her eyes.

  What’s not fair is watching Gram’s heart be broken by her daughter time and time again.

  “Don’t ever call me again, Julia. If you see me at the station, pretend I’m a ghost.”

  He switched his phone off and went inside to comfort the woman who’d raised him.

  22

  Elaina watched the sun come up in her bright living room. The tea in her cup had grown cold over an hour ago, but she didn’t notice. Sleep avoided her as much as she wanted to avoid the impending conversation with her mom.

  But she couldn’t.

  A door opened. A peek inside, and suddenly she saw her world through a kaleidoscope. Fragmented. Distorted.

  Confusing.

  She kept refreshing the weather models on her computer, begging something to show instability in the air. Anywhere.

  Anything to give her a reason to avoid driving to her mom’s house and asking her questions she wasn’t sure she wanted to have answered. Could she handle another turn of the kaleidoscope?

  During a final refresh, an email from Dr. Pierce flashed across her screen.

  Elaina,

  Can you join me in my office this morning?

  Great. Not necessarily the instability she was looking for. She’d made it three days since the storm that’d turned. Being summoned was bound to happen sooner than later.

  “All right Nim,” she said as her dog stretched. “Quick stop by the school and then we have to go see Mom.”

  The campus was bustling when she arrived. The final stretch of the semester. A frantic energy pulsed among students and teachers hurrying between buildings.

  Elaina’s heart pounded against as she walked to the building.

  Nimbus slinked beside her, his long body close to the ground. Tense, as if he was ready to spring into action at the first sign of his owner’s distress.

  She crawled up the stairs. Heath wouldn’t have betrayed her. Then again, he didn’t need to. Clips on replay across the country showed her leaving her post, her partner. Abandoning her research, her career. Punching a minor celebrity.

  His office door was open. Darkness poured out into the bright white of the hallway. Quick, sharp strikes of the keyboard clicked a melodic beat.

  With a deep breath, she propelled herself the final two steps into his office. “Hi, Dr. Pierce.” She tried to make her words light and carefree, but instead it sounded squeaky and tight, as if it were held together by a stretched-too-thin rubber band. “You wanted to see me?”

  “Elaina. Good. Yes, sit.” Her advisor darted his eyes in her direction, then shifted them back to the computer. “Give me one minute.”

  The key strikes sounded more like gunfire at close range.

  She busied herself with picking at the hem of her ‘Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Madness’ T-shirt. It felt like the most appropriate shirt for today.

  “Okay,” he said. The light from his computer monitor cast strange shadows behind his glasses. “Sorry about that. Thank you for coming in on short notice.” He wheeled around his desk, but stopped at the side rather than come beside her.

  Judging by the two feet of wood between them, she was in serious trouble.

  “Of course. Anything I can help you with?”

  “How are you doing, Elaina?” Dr. Pierce’s voice was disarmingly warm, genuine.

  “I, uh, I’m good.” Her words tripped over her tongue. “How are you?”

  He rolled forwarded another foot and into the light streaming in from the hallway. “This is a critical time. I’ve seen many students falter right here. Doctoral studies are not a sprint. It’s a marathon. A very hard one, with unexpected twists and turns. This is not for the weak, mentally, physically or emotionally.”

  Was he calling her weak? Had he just questioned her emotional wellbeing? Her mental state had never been up for discussion in the past.

  “I know. I’ve been preparing for this since I was an undergrad. Even when I was in high school.”

  “There’s no playbook for being in the field.” His words struck like his fingers hitting a keyboard. “It takes one hundred percent focus. Dedication. Without it, you’ll have failure.”

  Elaina’s heart plummeted, but her rising anger caught it. Failure was never a word used in her presence. All the nights spent studying, chasing storms, forgoing the typical college rites of passage, that was not for failure. Dr. Pierce knew that. He was mad.

  But, he was also right.

  “I know why you’re angry. I couldn’t let them get hurt.” She straightened her spine and scooted to the edge of the chair.

  “And I commend you for that, despite the fact that our university president was less than thrilled to have one of his own known more for her brawn than her brains.”

  “Desperate times…” She shrugged. She wasn’t going to let him take her down the path of self-doubt and regret.

  The storm had turned. Elaina had made the decision to warn Seth, no matter what would happen next. It was a decision she’d defend for the rest of her life. Even if he had another punch coming to him.

  “Yes, yes,” Dr. Pierce waved her off. “I know what you see out there. The toll it can take when you’re watching Mother Nature’s monster come crashing down on someone’s home and family. I know what lies in the vortex, possibly better than anyone else.”

  His words were likely meant to console and encourage, but instead doused kerosene in the pit of her stomach and idly tossed a match on it. Flames licked up from her belly and warmed her neck.

  What would he say if she told him what she’d seen in the storm? In that fleeting glimpse of whirling winds and damaging debris Elaina had witnessed a past that didn’t exist but felt as real as the ground she stood on. Images and feelings blurred together like a nightmare she couldn’t wake from.

  Dr. Pierce saw what was superficial in the storm; he could never understand what she saw. Even if she attempted to explain it, he’d send her directly to the campus medical clinic, suggesting an overzealous workload had contributed to her delusions.

  “I thought you would understand,” Elaina said. “Of all people, I thought you would get it.”

  He blinked. Half of his face was flooded in light, the other half hidden in the darkness of the office. In the bisection, he looked complete, as if the two opposing sides made one convincing whole.

  Who was he? The question whispered to her from a corner in the depth of her mind.

  Who are any of us but the sum of our lives until that very moment?

  Sitting in his dark office sliced by fluorescent light, Elaina saw Dr. Pierce for who he was; a brilliant man who’d become a completely different person in a shattering second.

  Did everyone have that shift? That moment when everything changed and they ceased being who they were, and become who they would be? Had Elaina’s happened earlier in her life? Or, was it happening now?

  She glanced down at his immobile legs. Dr. Pierce would never run again. He’d never climb the two flights of stairs to his office. Or feel the sun on his calves.

  How much did he yearn to go back? Was it selfish of her to want to go back to that moment? To understand what she’d lost. Would digging to her foundation cause everyth
ing else to collapse?

  “Do you miss it?” As soon as the words were out, she wanted to draw them back. It was the circus elephant in the room. Flaunted when he controlled the message but avoided by all others.

  Her advisor turned his face away, first staring into the darkness before whipping his head toward the light. “Very much.” His voice trembled before he cleared his throat. “And that’s why I want you to be careful out there. All it takes is one one-hundredth of a second, one mistake and you are forever changed.”

  The fire in Elaina floated up to her eyes, tears threatening to douse the welling emotion.

  “You’re special, Elaina. Storms speak to you in a way I’ve seen in no one else. Warning Seth Maddux, yes, that’s exactly why you’re out there.” He looked down at his legs, gazing at them with the detached curiosity of a cat with a bug. “I’ll have to let you go one day. Sooner than I’d prefer, but until that moment, bear with me as I serve as your concerned professor.” An easy, relaxed smile crossed his handsome face.

  Waist up, Dr. Tom Pierce was still the good-looking, charismatic tornado expert he’d been before the accident. Yes, his life had shifted in a direction that was unforeseeable, but it didn’t change who he was.

  They smiled at each other, sharing a moment of student and teacher, mentor and protégé, the future and the past.

  Dr. Pierce cleared his throat again, more to break their spell than to make a path for words. “Well, then,” he said, maneuvering his chair back behind his desk. “That’s all, Ms. Adams.”

  Elaina took a deep breath and gathered her backpack. She stood and started for the door before a thought struck her. “Oh,” she said, whirling around. Even though Tuck told her not to say he’d dropped by, it was worth mentioning so her professor wouldn’t think the man had ignored his invitation.

  Dr. Pierce looked up from his computer. “Oh.”

  There was the awkward pause between two people who’d spoken at the same time.

  Elaina motioned for Dr. Pierce to speak and his gaze darted back to his computer screen.

  “Were you in the lab three days ago?”

  Her knees loosened and her heart skidded to a stop. Three days ago, she’d been watching videos in the media library, trying to force another vision. Why was this even a question? “Yeah, I was in the media library looking at some old storm footage.” Elaina was surprised at how clear and strong she sounded, because her heart pounded with the ferocity of a hail storm. “Why do you ask?” She knew why he asked, but was afraid if she didn’t ask, it’d be a sure sign of guilt.

  “A circuit board from one of the pods came up missing. It wasn’t large, probably just got misplaced,” he said, his eyes still focused on his computer screen and his fingers tapping away with the rhythmic rapping of a rainstorm. “Your ID was used to get into the lab. Thought maybe you’d noticed something…off.”

  She’d never tried so hard in her life to be normal. Breathe in, breathe out. Don’t tremble. Blink naturally. Swallow back that rising tide of guilt.

  That little voice of intuition, the one that told her which cluster of water vapor would mingle with cold air to produce a storm; the one that told her the images she saw in tornadoes were real enough to upend the relationship with her mom for answers; told her Tuck was no long-lost friend of Dr. Pierce’s.

  “Yeah, I was looking for someone. Just ducked my head in.”

  “Did you see anyone in there?”

  She smiled and shook her head.

  Her advisor leaned forward, his strong forearms resting on his withered legs. “Elaina, you know if you need anything…If money is an issue…”

  She was far from rich. Barely clinging to middle class if truth be told, but money was never an issue.

  The air in the office tightened. What was going through Pierce’s head? Did he think she was a junky? Spending money on uppers to keep her going through to the end? “I’ve gotta run. Going to see my mom.” Elaina fled his office without a glance at her mentor’s disappointed eyes.

  She waited until the violent tapping of his keyboard receded before she broke into a run. Never in her life had she felt so duped, vulnerable, used.

  When she burst out of the door of building, Nimbus jumped up from his patch of sunshine and whined.

  It was time for Elaina to take back control, and it didn’t matter who had to be shoved out of the way.

  23

  The sweat trickling down her neck did nothing to cool Elaina. If anything, it only made her that much angrier. Did Pierce accuse her of theft?

  Who did he think he was, telling her she wasn’t mentally strong enough to finish her dissertation? Had Tuck sought her out for the sole purpose of stealing from the school? Or, was that a bonus for her accidentally breaking his friend’s nose? Was all of it an elaborate plot, or was it just more of her own messed up cerebral cortex that caused her to draw conclusions with the accuracy of clumsy toddler?

  With each question she mulled over on her drive to her mom’s house, her foot pressed a little harder on the accelerator, driving her closer to the biggest question.

  What was locked away inside her mind?

  The late spring sun was high overhead when Elaina pulled up to her mom’s house.

  Nim hung his head out the window, his long tongue flapping in the wind as she sped down the dirt road.

  She parked her truck behind her mom’s SUV and hopped out with Nim following close.

  They both hesitated. She looked down at her dog and he looked up at her.

  Something was off, they both could feel it. Nimbus lifted his nose higher into the air, sniffing big gulps of scent before turning and trotting to the open gate of the pasture.

  Lucky for Connie, and Elaina, none of the small herd of cattle seemed to notice the open door to freedom.

  “I got it, Nimby,” she said, latching the gate close. “I’m not sure what Mom was thinking.”

  Her footsteps seemed louder than usual, as she climbed up the large wooden porch. The anger that’d boiled in her body since leaving Dr. Pierce’s office burned down to a small, smoldering pit of ash sitting heavy in her stomach.

  Connie usually met her by now. No matter what she was in the middle of, hands covered in dirt, kitchen caked in flour, boots heavy with muck, all of it was worth interruption to greet her daughter.

  “Mom?” Elaina called. “Are you here?” She stepped all the way into the house and was hit by blowing cold air. Goosebumps broke out on her arms and a 7.0 magnitude shiver rocked her entire body.

  Elaina trotted to the thermostat. Connie had it set at fifty-five. It was definitely one of the warmer days so far this spring, but the temperature had still not crested the mid-eighties.

  “Nimbus, where is she?” Before her dog could answer, Connie’s voice came through the wall from the family room.

  “Elaina? Is that you, honey?”

  Her mother was sitting up from the couch. One side of her braid had pulled loose and her cotton shirt was rumpled.

  Had her mom been napping? To her knowledge, Connie had endless energy from sunrise to sunset.

  “It’s freezing in here. Are you feeling okay?”

  Connie’s eyes were unfocused and her gaze swept the room before settling back on her. “Yes, I’m fine. A bit warm and tired today. Probably a little spring cold is all.” Her words were slow and thick, as if they traveled through quicksand to reach Elaina’s ears. “What’re you doin’ here?”

  She exhaled when her mom took three confident, strong steps in her direction.

  She’s a nurse. If it’s anything more than a cold, she’d know.

  The answer sat on Elaina’s tongue next to the argument and accusations. They sat there, but like little kids at the top of the high dive, they were afraid to leap. The pool could be deep, warm and inviting, or empty and decayed. “I, uh,” she started, but the words scrambled back down her throat.

  Connie wrapped her in a quick embrace and she inhaled the scent of her mom’s apple spice shampoo. �
��You are freezing,” she said, rubbing her hands on her Elaina’s arms. “I guess I went a bit overboard with the thermostat. Let’s get some hot tea to warm you up, and let’s catch up.”

  She followed her into the kitchen and braced against the counter while Connie filled the teakettle.

  This woman was no Judas. She was a saint who as a single woman adopted and raised Elaina.

  Who was the real Judas?

  The tea canister fumbled in Connie’s fingers.

  Elaina reached for it, popping it open with ease, trying to ignore her mother’s murmuring about getting older and needing to be checked for arthritis.

  The water in the kettle bubbled and boiled like the apprehension in her stomach. If she didn’t do this now, she’d just go home filled with remorse and resentment. Rip off the Band-Aid, that was what Connie would tell her. Just say it, lay it out there and see what happened.

  It may not be that bad.

  Then again, it could be worse.

  The shriek of the kettle signaled it was time.

  “Mom, something really strange has been happening to me, and I really need your help understanding it.” Elaina didn’t look at her as she spoke. She studied her shoes, and the tiniest crack in the linoleum running between her feet and under the fridge. As a girl, she often traced that line with her finger, imagining it opened to a magical world under their house filled with fairies and unicorns. She wished she could fall into that world now.

  When Connie didn’t answer, she dragged her gaze from the floor to the counter and her mom’s trembling hands. Water sloshed out of the cup and onto the counter, steam rising in the cool air.

  “Here, let me.” Elaina reached for the kettle and finished pouring. “You sit, I’ll clean this up. Are you sure you’re fine?”

  “Yes, yes, just a bit worn down with this cold.” Her mom took a quivering sip of tea. “You were saying…”

  She took her own sip, hoping to warm her vocal cords for the words to pass. “Have you heard of Rententamine?”