The door to the back offices opened and a plump blond woman stood in the doorway. “Ms. Bell?”
Thea looked at her. “Yes?”
“I can help you now.”
No you can’t, she thought. The woman had done the paperwork to make the rift between she and Scott official. He was condo; she was single-family home.
“Single” being the operative word. She glanced at Scott and the pain inside her expanded like a parachute after the rip cord had been pulled. It had been devastating to lose her husband to a disease she had no control over. And while he’d battled to survive, everyone had said where there was life, there was hope. She’d learned it was a lie. Scott was full of life, with so much to offer, and she had so much love to give. But it was never to be.
She met his gaze and hoped her own didn’t betray what she was feeling. “I can wait to move into the house until after Kendra leaves for school.”
He nodded. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“I’m ready,” she said to the escrow officer. She looked at Scott again feeling anything but ready—this was goodbye. And she couldn’t bring herself to say it. “Good luck, Scott.”
Then she turned away and followed the stranger past the point of no return. It was time to focus on her new home and getting it ready for her new baby. Forgetting the man who haunted every room wouldn’t be easy, but she would do it.
She’d learned once that life is risky and love was the biggest risk of all. She’d just lost again.
Chapter Fifteen
Shaking his head, Scott surveyed Kendra’s room. This time, the chaos wasn’t her fault. Moving boxes designated for his town house were stacked against the wall. She had suitcases, several backpacks and a duffel filled with the personal stuff and school supplies that she was taking to her dorm room. All in all, the place didn’t look much different from its normal disastrous state. Except this time, he was different. He knew she was taking the clutter and confusion with her to college, and a sinkhole of loneliness opened up inside him.
Kendra walked in and stuffed a brush into the side of her backpack. “I’m starting to freak about forgetting something.”
Gail stood in the doorway. “It’s not Timbuktu. It’s UCLA. If you forget anything, I guarantee you can find a store that carries it.”
Scott settled his arm across her shoulders and forced himself not to grab her to him and squeeze her tight. He didn’t because it’s what he wanted to do to Kendra, to hang on and never let her leave home. But the reality was, they were all leaving this house.
Movers were scheduled to arrive tomorrow to take their belongings to Thea’s town house. His now. They’d choreographed moving day carefully, both of them loading up at the same time, then the trucks passing like ships in the night. As always, thoughts of Thea sent a shaft of pain-wrapped regret slicing through him and he wondered if it would ever get better.
“What do you guys want to do about dinner?” he asked. “How about I take you to L’Italiano’s. They have your favorite bread and that ravioli with the tomato cream sauce.”
The girls looked at each other for a moment, then shook their heads. How did they do that silent communication thing? he wondered.
“I want to stay here,” Kendra said, settling her duffel beside the suitcase at his feet. “It’s my last night in this house.”
“Mine, too,” Gail echoed. “Although I don’t think I feel it as much as Ken because I’ve been away for a couple years now.”
“Then what about a pizza?” he said.
They looked at each other again and nodded. “That sounds good.” Gail leaned her head against his shoulder.
His heart squeezed tight as he hugged her close for a moment, then dropped his arm. “I’ll go call.”
“Get it from Vincenzo’s,” Gail suggested. “It’s my favorite.”
“Mine, too,” her sister echoed. “I think they deliver here so much, the driver could find his way blindfolded.”
“Yeah,” Gail said. “I’ve missed it.”
“I’m going to miss it, too. And this house,” Kendra said, a wistful expression on her face as she glanced around her room.
Gail sighed. “I keep telling myself change is part of being a grown-up. But myself answers back that I don’t have to like it.”
“Are you guys upset that I sold the house?” Scott asked.
He’d thought Kendra had come to terms with it after that first negative reaction. And the girls had seemed genuinely happy that Thea was buying the place. They approved of turning their house over to someone who would take good care of it. He’d tried to tell them it was business. But now that it was real, they were all feeling pretty darn personal about the change.
Kendra looked at him, her blue eyes shadowed. “We grew up here. All of my memories, good and bad, are here.”
Gail met his gaze. “We moved here after Mom left. I’ve always wanted to ask you—” She caught her bottom lip between her teeth.
“What is it, honey? You can ask me anything.”
“Well, I’m about the age now that you were when I was born. I guess I’ve been thinking about this since Ken went through that thing about you not wanting her. At school, I go to classes, hang out with my friends, do pretty much what I want. But you never got a chance to do that.”
“So what’s your question?”
“Do you have any regrets that I was born? Because of all you missed?”
“Never.” He slung his arm around her again and this time, he did hug her close for several moments. “The two of you are the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“But if Mom hadn’t gotten pregnant with me, you’d have been able to go away to college. You didn’t get to do a lot of things.”
“I got to do other things, more important things. Like being a father to the two most terrific kids in the world.” He rubbed his knuckles across the top of her head until she giggled and begged for mercy. Spinning away from him, she flopped on the bed beside her sister.
He crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the door frame. “But I will admit that I wonder sometimes what it would have been like to be ready for the experience of fatherhood.”
Thea was responsible for that. She wanted it so much and had waited so long, he couldn’t help thinking about what that would feel like. She had made him look at a lot of things differently.
He looked at his girls. “I love you guys and I wouldn’t trade the two of you for anything.”
“Speaking of love,” Kendra said, a glint in her eyes, “what happened between you and Thea?”
Uh-oh. Thea had warned him this question might come up. How did he explain his feelings to them? The last thing he wanted was for them to feel insecure about their place in his heart.
“It’s complicated,” he finally said.
“Is it anything we did?” Kendra asked, glancing at her sister.
“Why would you think that?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe because of Mom. If it hadn’t been for us, she might still be around. Maybe we chase women out of your life.”
Residual anger and resentment churned through him, aimed at the woman who’d made his children blame themselves for her actions. He walked over to the bed and sat down between them, taking each of their hands in his.
“Okay, you two. Here’s the deal. Straight, no bull. The reason your mother walked away from us had nothing to do with you. It was all about her and her selfish needs. It’s as simple as that.”
Kendra still looked unsure. “And what about Thea?”
How did he answer that? Kendra had brought her into his life. In spite of how it turned out, he couldn’t regret knowing her. She was probably the most unselfish person he’d ever known. “She’s one of a kind.”
Gail snorted. “And that tells us exactly nothing. Do you like her? Are you dating? And what about—”
The doorbell rang and Scott was grateful. His eldest had a habit of blurting out personal questions, and he had a bad
feeling he knew what she’d been about to say. He’d been saved by the bell and he couldn’t quite suppress the hope that it was Thea Bell.
“I’ll get it,” he volunteered.
He started out of the room and glanced back at his girls. The sparkle was back in their eyes, just as it should be, and he went downstairs with a lighter heart.
He opened the door and found his brother on the porch. “Mike. What are you doing here?”
“I thought you might need some help with the move.”
Scott didn’t buy it. “You know this is Kendra’s last night home and you came over to see her off.”
“I’m that transparent?”
“Like plastic wrap,” he said automatically.
He winced when he remembered Thea saying that to him. How long before he stopped thinking about her? Repeating her words? Seeing her face? Dreaming about her? Hoping she’d come to see him one last time to change his mind?
“Can I come in?”
“Yeah.” Scott stepped back and pulled the door wide.
“I’m going to help myself to a beer.”
“Get one for me.”
When they were in the family room, long necks in hand, Mike looked at him. “I didn’t just come to see Ken off.”
“No?”
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“Something’s wrong, bro.” He held up his hand when Scott started to protest. “Can it. You haven’t been yourself since Mother’s Day. Before you deny it, you should know the folks have noticed, too. Mom thinks it has something to do with Thea.”
Scott thought about telling his brother to take a flying leap. But the truth was, he needed to talk about this. Maybe if he did, he could get her out of his mind.
“She’s going to have a baby, Mike.”
Unfortunately when he said that, his brother happened to be taking a drink. He choked for several moments. Finally he said, “I know it’s not yours.”
Scott shook his head. “It’s her husband’s.”
“I thought she was a widow.”
“She had in vitro fertilization, a promise she made to him before he died.”
Mike blew out a long breath. “That would make a man stop and think.”
“And this is me we’re talking about.” Scott shook his head. “My youngest is on her way to independence practically as we speak. To start again with night feedings, walking the floor, worrying. That’s the hardest. Worrying about every little thing that could go wrong with that tiny human being who’s looking to you for everything.”
His brother stared at him. “It occurs to me that not once did you say you don’t care about her.”
“It doesn’t matter—”
“That’s where you’re wrong, big brother. Caring is everything.”
“But the baby stuff. Been there, done that. I don’t want to do it again.”
“With Thea, you wouldn’t be alone this time.”
“I wasn’t alone the first time.”
“Yes, you were. And I don’t mean just after she left you.” Mike leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, his beer in his hands. “Even when you were married, she wasn’t ever really there for you. And she didn’t care. If she did, she’d still be here.”
“And your point?” Scott asked angrily.
“Thea’s different.”
“You hardly know her. How the heck can you decide that?”
“Actions speak louder than words. Your wife declared her undying love right up until she walked out. Thea loves so much, she moved heaven and earth to have her dead husband’s child.”
“I think she’s still in love with him,” Scott admitted. It was the first time he’d voiced that out loud. He wasn’t sure if he felt relieved or not.
A gleam stole into his brother’s gaze. “So that’s what your problem is.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re looking for an excuse to turn your back because you might not measure up. She might reject you.”
Scott snorted even as he felt the words strike a chord. “Stick to numbers, Mike. It’s what you’re good at.”
“It doesn’t take a psych degree to see you got the shaft real bad, bro. Even a spreadsheet guy like me can see you don’t want to put yourself on the line and risk a repeat. But I saw the way she looked at you.”
“How was that?” Scott kicked himself for asking, but couldn’t stop the words.
“Her face lit up whenever she laid eyes on you. She’s different, Scott,” he said again. “And if you let her get away, you’re an idiot.”
Scott had one of those moments of absolute crystal clarity. Thea was loyal and loving and beautiful and smart. She was everything he’d ever wanted. And he was an idiot for building barriers to keep it from working between them.
He was in love with Thea Bell.
Scott felt one corner of his mouth curve up. “How the heck did an emotional train wreck like you figure all this out?”
“I’m the sensitive sort.”
“Mom told you, didn’t she?”
Mike grinned. “She thought the information would be better received if delivered man-to-man by someone closer to your age. She also said I might learn something.”
“If you were smart enough, you’d have already learned from the two of them long before this.”
“Right back at you,” Mike said.
“Mom and Dad are the best,” Scott pointed out, ignoring his brother’s jab.
Mike didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “Yeah. The folks are pretty lucky. I’d give a lot to find what they’ve got. I envy you, bro.”
“Why?”
“A woman like Thea to care about. The chance to raise a child with her. Face it, Scott. You’re a family kind of guy.”
Mike was right. Damn it. Scott should have figured it out himself. He would have if his emotional baggage hadn’t been stacked so high he couldn’t see over it. He hoped his brother wasn’t premature in patting him on the back. Scott knew it was entirely possible he’d blown the best thing that had ever happened to him.
He’d used the baby to push Thea away because it hurt when someone you cared about walked out. He’d successfully avoided caring too much until Thea somehow managed to infiltrate his heart.
The truth was family meant everything to him. It was how he’d grown up; it was how he’d raised his girls. He liked being a family man. He was good at it, if he did say so himself. Thea had a family in need of a man. And he was the right man for the job.
All he had to do was convince her of that.
Thea put a box filled with kitchen paraphernalia on her new island, then brushed the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand.
“As God is my witness,” she said to the room that looked like it threw up, “I vow two things. I’m never moving again. And if I buy a new kitchen gadget, I will throw an old one away.”
She had entirely too much stuff. Thank goodness for all the cupboards she had now. Maybe she would renegotiate with God about throwing things away—if she ever forgave Him. It wasn’t entirely His fault, but somewhere between running the world and being all-powerful, He could have worked a little miracle on her behalf with the former owner of this house.
But when she felt a little bubble move across her abdomen, she was reminded that her baby was a living miracle. “And I guess there’s only one to a customer. Anything more would be greedy.”
Besides, self-pity was a waste of energy. She’d been blessed, even though Scott didn’t want her and the baby. It was his loss. Along with her son or daughter, she was going to have a good life in this house.
She looked around. The movers had left several hours before. After delivering all of her furniture, she realized the family room was still empty. A trip to a home-furnishing store was in her near future. And whatever she bought would need Scotchgarding. Not unlike the way her heart needed Scott-guarding.
“And procrastinating will not get the rest of the st
uff out of my car.”
She walked through the living and dining rooms, which were marginally more organized, but only because there were fewer things than in the kitchen. After walking out the front door, she followed the L-shaped walk-way to where she’d backed her SUV in the driveway. With the back seat down, she’d been able to fill the car with the remainder of her things. The last minute stuff, like cleaning supplies and vacuum. She’d cleaned as the movers worked so Scott wouldn’t have to worry about it.
Although it would have served him right if she’d left the dust bunnies and let them party hearty in every corner of the place. She knew she couldn’t keep up this high level of anger and irritation toward him indefinitely. But she planned to maintain it for as long as possible. Because she knew from past experience when that was gone, she would be inundated by the pain.
When she rounded the garage, she stopped so fast her sneakers would have squeaked if she’d been standing on anything but cement. Speak of the devil.
“Scott,” she said.
“Hi, Thea.” He peeked into the back of her car. “That’s quite a load.”
“Yeah. I’ve got a million things to do. But you know how that is, what with moving into my place.”
“Yeah.” He had a weird expression on his face as if he’d eaten bad seafood.
“Is something wrong?”
“You could say that.”
“But the condo passed inspection with flying colors. Everything was okay when I left.”
“It’s still fine.”
She walked closer. The nearer she got to his tall, attractive self, the harder her heart pounded. “Then I don’t understand. Are you having buyer’s remorse? Because escrow is closed. You’ve taken title. There’s no going back—”
He held up his hand. “No second thoughts. Not about buying the condo.”
“Then what are you doing here?”
“I’m having second thoughts about you.”
She couldn’t believe she’d heard him right. But her heart kicked into high gear anyway. “What kind of thoughts?”
It Takes Three Page 19
