The Price We Pay (Life After War Book 7)

by Angela White

  “And in exchange, what did you do?”

  “I bonded myself to another man, one you failed to kill, by the way. Don’t think I didn’t notice that.”

  Marc was surprised at how fast she’d turned the tables on him, and he thought before he spoke. Did he want to do the same as her and give true honesty?

  “I would have done the same even if Kendle hadn’t been there.”

  Angela was glad he’d chosen to be honest as well. It meant everything to her. “I know. I made sure she’d be there.”

  “Why do you keep stopping him from dying?” Marc demanded. “I have to know!”

  “I love him, Marc. I’m sorry. I won’t ever kill him. He’ll be banished from the camp, though he’ll be around and you’ll have to live with that.”

  “And why should I?” he argued, already sure that he would. He might not be able to kill the man now, but chances would come in the future when there weren’t any healers nearby.

  “Because nothing changed.”

  Marc’s mouth opened… “What?”

  “Name something that changed between us because of what I did.”

  Marc took a quick second to think, sure there was a huge list.

  Angela smiled as the silence dragged out. She’d estimated it would take him two full minutes and she lit a smoke, thinking she would stop smoking soon. Stale cigarettes tasted like ass.

  “You never intended to live up to it.”

  “Give that man a cigar,” Angela joked, impressed with the ten second answer. He was so smart!

  “This is war. Just because I made a deal, that didn’t mean I had to honor it.”

  “But he thought…thinks?”

  Her happiness faded. “He thought it would change everything. He didn’t realize I’d passed corrupt and sank head first into cruel.”

  “You sacrificed him?” Marc asked, trying to figure out the small parts that he didn’t know.

  “And then some,” Angela confirmed, flipping her ash into the pot with the dead plant. “He planned to die in Little Rock and then he hoped to turn himself in to avoid them coming for me. Once it was too late for that, he had no choice but to trust that my plan would save us all.”

  “It did.”

  “Yes. And at a cost.”

  “Because he’ll be banished?”

  Angela shrugged, not sure if that was part of it. “I’m still working through some of it too, Marc. I didn’t foresee having to actually make the call. The bunker contacted Donner the first time while I was under the drugs and it took a bit to wear off.” She stared at him in regret. “I didn’t plan to make that bond with him. I hope you can believe that.”

  Marc wouldn’t have from nearly anyone else, but he honestly had no reason to feel that way about her. She’d remained strong time after time when tempted by Adrian.

  “And I will at any point in the future when he slips close enough to try,” she vowed. “And the bond isn’t what you might think,” she stated, standing, going to him on shaky legs that felt foreign and hurt. “It means we can’t refuse to help the other person if they call for us. That’s it. No love involved. Two matched male alphas can do it in friendship.”

  Marc was suddenly relieved and dazed, and very tired. He leaned his head back and shut his lids as she slid by him and went into the bathroom. Knowing that let the hard cover over his heart fade and Marc realized he’d once again been braced for her to leave him for Adrian.

  Why am I so insecure? he wondered. Did I drive her away with that in each lifetime? It was something he would spend endless hours considering over the next months, he was sure.

  Angela leaned on the dusty sink, not glancing in the mirror. She had noticed Marc’s eyes on her hair and hoped it wasn’t as bad as she expected it to be. Holding her breath, she looked up.

  It was worse.

  Angela ran a hand over the snowy, brittle strands. The ash had been starting as they came in and Marc had probably assumed that was the discoloration. If he’d known it was her hair, he would have been panicking by now.

  What should I do?

  “Hey, Angie?”

  “Uh, yeah?” she answered, gently pushing the door to block his view.

  “I know what to do now.”

  “For what?” she asked, stalling. She knew by the tone he’d already figured her out.

  “To fill you up.”

  His chuckle said he knew she was blushing and Angela shook her head. “We’re too tired right—”

  “I’m never too tired,” he boasted. She could hear him moving around and groaned. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Yes, actually, I am. Come get some sleep and we can cover that in the morning.”

  Angela was both relieved and disappointed, and she stood in the doorway, frowning.

  Marc laughed. “Come on, baby-cakes. I want to hold you.”

  Angela hurried. That sounded perfect.

  4

  “They’re here.”

  “Good.” Samantha didn’t rush to find them, sure both of her men would come to her as soon as they could. Again, they’d only been apart for a few days, but it had felt like much longer.

  “The ash is still falling.”

  Samantha didn’t expect it to stop for a while. If Yellowstone had blown, the lightest prediction for this far away had still been at least an inch of the volcanic ash. The heaviest had put it at nearly three inches and Sam was in the middle of finding a better location for them to shelter for the winter. She had maps around her, stuck with the mountain areas for her decision, thanks to the camp voting for these stone cliffs.

  Sam heard people go by her room and put the pencil and notepad down, knowing she would be too distracted to concentrate on it. She’d been planning their return and now that the moment was here, she was extremely nervous.

  Sam listened to the familiar steps of two tired, victorious Eagles moving her way and she stood up, taking a calming breath. “Hey!”

  Jeremy came in first and Sam lingered in the hug and the kiss, body lighting up.

  Jeremy looked around as she stepped back, saw two beds, and went to the one that was untouched.

  Neil swept Sam into his arms, lifting her to get a giggle and to grope her ass as she held onto him.

  He then went to the bed where she’d been sitting.

  Sam cleared her throat and both men looked up.

  “I need a shower. Go with me?”

  She looked back and forth hopefully, doubting they would take the hint so easily.

  “Uh, which one?” Jeremy asked, pausing in removing his jacket.

  “Do I have to pick one?”

  Neither man spoke as they exchanged glances and Sam bent down to pick up the bag she had ready. The front of her shirt gaped open, revealing no bra and all of her skin.

  Sam snickered as she stood up. “I booked the shower and there’s a discrete guard on it. That’s where I’ll be.”

  She left the room quickly, not sure if either of them would show. It was something she’d always wanted to try and there was only one way to find out if they were willing—she had asked.

  Neil and Jeremy were still staring at each other. Jeremy hadn’t moved, jacket still half off and Neil’s mouth was on the floor.

  “Did you see this coming?” Jeremy asked quietly.

  Neil shook his head. “No. Guess we should have?”

  “Yeah, probably.”

  Neil sat on the bed to remove his boots, trying to figure out what would happen if they said yes.

  Jeremy hung his jacket up next to Sam’s, wondering what would happen if they said no.

  After a few minutes of quiet, Neil stood up to pace. “Does the idea gross you out?”

  Jeremy shrugged. “Not in the gay way. I assume we only touch her.”

  “Right. And it’s not like we’ll be staring at each other, right?”

  “Right.”

  Samantha had lingered outside the door, needing to know how against it they were and it was something of a surpri
se to hear them working it out. Did that mean they were giving in to please her or that they liked the idea of trying something new as well, and were afraid to admit it. The next words cleared that up for her.

  “She won’t be mad, you know. We can say we’d rather not.”

  “I know,” Jeremy agreed. “But I hate to tell her no unless it’s something I honestly can’t give her.”

  “So you can do this?’

  “Yes. You?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are we?”

  “Do you want to?’

  Jeremy shrugged, embarrassed. “I’ve already thought about it once or twice.”

  Neil grinned. “Me too.”

  Sam had heard enough and headed for the shower she’d reserved in case they agreed. Jeremy thought he was an unneeded third wheel and Neil used to wonder if she only wanted him for his by-the-book nature. She’d already proven Neil wrong and now it was Jeremy’s turn. There were just some things two people couldn’t do.

  5

  “Where do you want us?”

  Samantha turned around, already in the center stall. “One in front, one in rear,” she answered, grinning.

  Her words were almost pornographic and blood rushed downward for both men.

  Aware that they would need encouragement for a situation like this, Samantha rotated again and began rubbing herself while they watched.

  She heard the sound of clothes being removed after that and relaxed, knowing she’d won. This would be the most erotic experience of her life and she wanted it now, before her body swelled up with the twins and long before she couldn’t sleep this off for a full day.

  Neil was naked first and he took the rear of the stall, gently turning Sam around when she would have put her arms around his neck. He’d dreamed about having her like this for a while now, though Jeremy hadn’t been in those hot images.

  Sam put her arms around Jeremy’s neck instead and he kissed her hard, putting his final inhibitions aside. Every time she crossed the line, he felt more alive than ever and he suddenly couldn’t wait to share this with her. “I love you, Sam.”

  She smiled happily. He didn’t usually say it. “I adore you too,” she said, leaning into his embrace. “Always.”

  Jeremy kept his hands in front of her and that was the only rule he gave himself—to stay on his side.

  Behind them, Neil was stoking and already close to the edge. He planned to go ahead and then slowly join in for a second round. He’d never done anything like this before and he wanted to enjoy every second.

  Neil watched Sam arch as Jeremy did something to her that he couldn’t see and the trooper surprised them all with his lowly spoken request, “Turn a little, so I can see?”

  Jeremy’s hands were both busy, thumbs stroking hard nipples, and Neil felt his need reach the peak. He grunted as he came, aiming for her hip.

  “Damn,” Jeremy complained. “Too hot, Neil.” He grabbed his own jerking flesh and aimed for her thigh.

  Sam understood. She had a hand between her own legs and she leaned on Neil as she exploded. “Too soon!” she groaned.

  The three of them broke into chuckles and gasping laughter, relieving the normal tension that could have come now.

  Jeremy used the sprayer to clean her hip and leg, while Neil soaped up a washcloth and then got on her cheeks. None of them mentioned leaving yet. They weren’t finished.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  1

  “Are you about done?”

  Zack tossed the shovel out of the grave and then climbed onto solid ground. He didn’t answer the rookie’s stupid question. If he opened his mouth, violence would emerge.

  Zack left the others to prep the site, too tired to help with the next one. They had about half the needed holes dug, and the rest of the night’s work would be the same—opening the earth to swallow the corpses of their loved ones.

  Zack went to the huge tent they were using for storage, moving in and out of small clusters of grieving people and medical students.

  He joined the doctor, who was in a partitioned area, getting each body ready. They would all be cleaned and wrapped before being laid to rest.

  “You don’t look good,” the doctor commented, carefully affixing the last piece of gauze around Crista’s pale face. “Guess none of us do.”

  The doctor had lost much of his bad attitude while treating the wounded. He was beyond arguing.

  “I’ll carry her out,” Zack said gruffly. He’d had two fake dates with Crista when she was trying to gain Jeff’s attention. He hadn’t thought of her in that way until this week, this run, and then it had hit him that he cared for her. And now she was gone.

  “Are you okay?”

  Zack shook his head. “No, not really. When will you be ready?”

  The doctor sighed. “She can go now if you like, or I’ll keep her here until morning. Your choice.”

  Zack drew in a breath and stepped forward to lift the cold, stiff body into his arms and carry her outside. She’d once told him she’d feared being left on the battlefield to rot and Zack was ensuring what she had feared wouldn’t happen even here or on a slab. She was going in the ground that he’d just lovingly turned for her.

  The Eagles nearby stared in pain for a moment and then rushed to hold doors and clear a path. The loss of any fighter was hard for them, but this was a woman they’d all known and admired. Crista hadn’t had an enemy in their camp.

  Zack took her straight to the torch-lit gravesite, cursing the war, Angela, and even the fact that they didn’t have real coffins to use. Crista deserved better. All of their fallen heroes did.

  Zack felt Angela’s swift glance run over her not quite peaceful camp from a great distance and he turned his head, unable to acknowledge her in any other way. He wasn’t sure he could forgive this, no matter what the reasons had been.

  2

  “Will you tell me?”

  Angela was tempted to act as if she was still asleep. Marc would let her wait until tomorrow on the conversation, she knew that.

  “I’ve changed the world,” she confessed gravely. “At least, our corner of it.”

  Marc wasn’t sure how she meant that and was glad when she clarified.

  “I made contact with the bunker. And then I destroyed it.”

  Angela tried to say more, but it didn’t feel like she could. Marc wouldn’t understand why the other part of it had been so important. There was no way he could.

  “The bunker’s gone?” he asked, stunned that she’d been able to do it from such a distance.

  “Yes. They may have other holes to crawl around in, but they’ve been hurt badly enough that it will take no less than a decade for them to recover and retake the topside.”

  And even then, it will be under different rules, she thought.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yes. We’re free of them.”

  Marc shifted so that he could see her face. “Then why are you so sad?”

  Angela sighed. “I’d rather not cover that right now, okay?”

  Marc knew she needed a break from the stress and flashed a sexy grin. “Wanna get naked?”

  Angela groaned, laughing, and Marc felt the witch shove into his mind.

  Have you learned nothing?

  “I need to hit the bathroom,” Marc said, kissing the top of Angela’s head. “I’ll see if Shawn has any chocolate bars left while I’m at it.”

  “Yeah!” Angela played along, perfectly aware of what was happening. It was all expected.

  3

  What? Marc nearly snarled. He hated the witch; he blamed her for bringing Adrian into Angela’s heart.

  Ah, yes, the witch mocked. I’m the root of all evil.

  Maybe, Marc responded seriously.

  The witch cackled briefly. One day, Marcus Brady, you will again remember how you longed to hear me when you pulled up to that rest stop.

  Marc paled, reading the warning for what it was. Tell me, he ordered.

  Only becau
se I need you! The witch slapped at him. Your rudeness is unforgivable! I’ve save her life and the lives of your children. How dare you forget that!

  Marc didn’t want to admit she was right and went quiet, but he felt every scratch and it stung badly that she was right. If not for the Adrian problem, Marc might not mind the witch.

  I have needs, the witch explained. You won’t satisfy me, so I have to go elsewhere.

  What about the garden? Marc accused. Did you encourage that for the same reason?

  Yes, the witch admitted shamelessly. You were too busy working to love me!

  Marc had no idea how to comfort a tearful witch and didn’t think he should have to. None of this was his fault. He couldn’t even remember that life!

  Neither can she and it doesn’t matter.

  Marc found himself listening intently for the next words.

  In her mind, she will lose the child, maybe leadership of the camp, and definitely Adrian’s presence in her life. She has little to live for.

  Marc hated it that he immediately understood. He wanted to keep to his plans of killing Adrian, plans that had become solid, step-by-step blueprints in his mind over the last 24-hours. He knew exactly how to do it.

  Everyone feels that way, the witch confirmed. Including myself, but not her. She can’t control her body or the coming vote.

  And she knows what I’ll vote for, Marc realized.

  “Yes, I always have.”

  Marc turned to see Angela standing near the rear door he’d come out by. She was wrapped in his blanket, sexy and yet thinner, paler.

  “I’m not as bad as she’s making it out to be,” Angela began to defend. Brady’s happiness mattered. “The witch is trying to save her own skin. She’s the one lying this time.”

  The demon faded back in anger and Angela leaned against a damp, ashy tree. “I’m tired, Brady.”

  Marc went to her and gently lifted her into his arms, loving the way they fit together so perfectly. “If you can only have one of the three,” Marc asked. “Which would it be?”