The Lure of Port Stephen

by Sydney Blackburn

  He stared as Raj shrugged off the sheet and stood beside the bed, stretching in that seductive way of his. He was like a god in his nudity, careless and perfect. His cock was already half hard as he held out a hand in invitation.

  “I promise I won’t make you late for work.”

  Robbie dropped his clothes.

  Chapter Eight

  Robbie watched Raj typing on his laptop. Even though he was in a tank top and those cute little shorts, sunglasses sitting on top of his tousled dark hair, he looked serious.

  “You work ’til six on Fridays?”

  Raj glanced at him with a sly smile that promised his full attention soon. “Just catching up on personal email.”

  “Oh.” In spite of the smile that sent shivers of anticipation running down his spine, he felt a twinge of jealousy. “How come you never invite your friends down? I mean,” he added, rushing his words, “I’m sure Ryan’s got a spare trailer he could rent them for a weekend.”

  Raj clicked his mouse and closed his laptop, sliding it into the padded case. “I know. But you see, I’ve told my friends about you, about us.” He smiled again at Robbie. “I’ve even sent them that silly selfie of us I took on my phone.”

  Robbie blushed even though he loved that photo. They looked…in love. There, he’d said it to himself. “Cool.”

  “I think so,” Raj agreed. His smile vanished. “But I can’t ask them to come here and meet you, and pretend you and I are just friends for your father’s sake.”

  Robbie felt his face burn even redder, this time with shame. “You’re right,” he said quietly. “I promised this weekend, and I mean it. I’ll tell him tomorrow.”

  Raj drove into Bayham for the day. It felt like he’d been waiting forever for Robbie to keep his promise. He liked Robbie more than he’d expected, and he hated pretending, but at the same time, he didn’t want Robbie to feel like he had to in order to keep on seeing—or fucking—Raj. It was a horrible line to straddle and not feel the way Dan, his ex, had made him feel—like Raj was someone he was ashamed of.

  He’d never planned on outing himself to the others in the park, but then, he’d never actually been in, either. He wasn’t ‘acting straight’. If they hadn’t figured out straight guys don’t wear T-shirts that advertise their swallowing, that wasn’t his problem.

  Robbie was going to tell his father and Wanda today. Finally.

  “Do you want me there?”

  “No,” Robbie said nervously. “I don’t want them to say anything hurtful to you, like maybe accuse you of making me gay or something awful.”

  “It’d be okay.”

  “What if he hates me?”

  “He won’t hate you. My parents don’t hate me.” They still seemed to think, fifteen years later, that it was a phase he’d eventually grow out of, which left them almost estranged. But they didn’t hate him.

  So he went to town, did laundry, and shopped for lures. The inside of Robbie’s tackle box had revealed a love of pretty lures, most of which were impractical for fishing on Erie. He spied a couple of small lures painted in the bright colours of a mud minnow. The idea crossed his mind that they should each have one—identical minnow lures—and it was ridiculously goofy, yet once he thought it, he couldn’t unthink it. He bought them and sighed inwardly at his own foolishness.

  He checked his phone for the time. Almost noon. He found a quiet seat at Tim Horton’s and spent a couple hours writing emails to his family, posting a few pics on Facebook, and looking up all the ways one could cook perch.

  He then picked up the few groceries he needed and headed back to Port Stephen.

  It was just past six when he rolled down the gravel lane to his site. He backed in to make unloading easier and carried a bag to his picnic table, carefully avoiding the laughing, drinking people around the fire at Wayne and Wanda’s. Did that mean it went well?

  He opened the back of the Jeep, and Robbie stumbled over, beer in hand. “Raj!”

  He turned. “You’re drunk,” he observed.

  Robbie’s face flushed. “Just a little. I needed some liquid courage.”

  “So you told them?”

  “Um…no. Not yet.”

  Raj winced. He’d forgiven Robbie, to a point, but the reason he’d told Robbie he didn’t want this was because it hurt. He understood Robbie’s fear of losing the father he was still getting to know, but…. He stuck a smile on his face, or tried.

  Robbie looked abashed, like a sad little puppy when he caught the fake smile. “I’m sorry,” he said in a tiny voice.

  Raj’s smile grew genuine but tired. Robbie was always sorry. “You’re a cute drunk,” he said, resigned, ruffling Robbie’s hair. It was a bold gesture in broad daylight, easily visible from the firepit in front of Wayne and Wanda’s trailer.

  He didn’t realize it was a test until Robbie didn’t flinch away from the contact. In fact, Robbie grabbed his hand and pulled it to his mouth for a quick kiss. Somewhat furtive, but not to the point of looking around to see who might notice.

  Raj sighed. “Help me unload? Maybe I need to tell you more about my ex, or at least the way he made me feel, even before I found out he was fucking like he was single.”

  “Sure.” Robbie grabbed two bags, and of the two remaining, Raj stuffed one inside the other so he had a hand free to close up the Jeep and open his trailer.

  He gestured Robbie inside and closed the screen door behind him. Voices sometimes carried along the shoreline, but more importantly, he wanted to have something to do while he told this story.

  “Have a seat. I’d offer you a beer…”

  Robbie’s cheeks flushed, though he didn’t say anything.

  “I mean, I’m not your liquor control board, but—” Raj couldn’t help smiling as he finished. “—you should know I don’t fuck drunks.”

  The look on Robbie’s face was almost comical, wide eyes full of hope and lust. “Oh. May I have a lemonade, please?”

  The use of his very best manners also made Raj grin. There was just so much he liked about Robbie Wales. He gave the sandy-haired man a can of lemonade soda and started putting away his groceries.

  “I’ve been out since I was fifteen, like I told you, and Dan was the first guy I went out with who was closeted.”

  “So he said,” Robbie added with a grunt. He’d heard a little of Raj’s ex already and seemed to have formed his own opinions.

  “So he said,” Raj agreed, “and I had no reason not to believe him. At first it was kind of exciting; the feeling of it all being illicit and secret could really amp up the sexual tension.”

  “Yeah, and then you found out he was using it as an excuse to act single in other ways.”

  “Right, but the shine was wearing off the relationship before then.” Raj turned to put a couple of cans in the cupboard over the sink. “It had stopped feeling like a sexy game and started to feel like…like he was just ashamed of me. He was so flirty in the clubs, acting like I was just his buddy, and…if he could flirt with strangers, why couldn’t he—why wouldn’t he—flirt with me? I even asked him if my mother’s Indian heritage was the problem.”

  “You think I’m ashamed of you?”

  “No,” Raj said truthfully. “But it feels the same.”

  Robbie was looking down at the table, at the lures Raj had bought. “You have doubles here.”

  “One’s for you. I thought…” But it had been silly, and he didn’t say it out loud. “One’s for you,” he repeated.

  Robbie looked at him then, eyes wide in the golden glow of the evening sun. He got to his feet and grabbed Raj into a hug.

  “You’re in the doorway.”

  “I don’t care about that. I’m gonna make this right. After all, I did promise you this weekend, didn’t I?” He grabbed one of the twin lures and pushed the package into Raj’s hand. “You keep this until I’m worthy of it.”

  “It’s just a lure, Robbie.”

  Robbie looked at him with serious eyes. “I know what it is.�
��

  Raj shrugged.

  “You coming out to the fire tonight?”

  “I think I’ll hermit inside tonight. I don’t feel much like being with people.”

  Robbie nodded thoughtfully and said, “I’ll come knock on the door when I’ve got this straightened out.”

  Raj nodded, but he was losing his trust in Robbie. He wanted to believe. Robbie was like no one he’d ever met, but he couldn’t pretend again. Half measures didn’t work for him; he’d tried that. It had to be all or nothing.

  It was hard trying to talk to his father around the firepit. There were so many people there, and Robbie didn’t exactly want everyone to know. Well, he did—he just didn’t want everyone to see his father disown him.

  “When are you inviting your friends up, Robbie?”

  For once, he was relieved his father asked. “Depends. You know Todd is gay, right?”

  “Really?” Wayne shifted around to peer through beery eyes at Robbie.

  “Some of the stuff you say…”

  “You know I don’t mean anything by it.”

  Robbie wished he could really know that. “And Marty? You know he’s a guy, right?”

  Wayne laughed. “I’m not that drunk, Robbie. She’s a flat-chested tomboy, but she’s definitely a girl.”

  “No, he’s not. So anyway, um, none of us are exactly what you’d call…normal. And sometimes you just say stuff that makes us uncomfortable. I…I’m so glad we’ve been making up for all the time we didn’t have before, y’know? I love you, Dad, and I’d be gutted if I lost you because—”

  “You won’t lose me because your friends are weird,” he said, giving Robbie a rib-crushing hug. He let him go. “So invite ’em up. Tell ’em to tell me off if I put my foot in my mouth.”

  Then he was gone, and Robbie was sighing in defeat. How hard could it be to say, “Dad, I’m gay”? Just three little words. He looked longingly at Raj’s trailer, but he didn’t dare knock without being able to say he’d fulfilled his promise.

  As he tried to regroup his thoughts over what to say to his father, he found himself distractingly angry at Raj’s ex. Raj was the most amazing man he’d ever met, so polished, even in shorts and a tee. He was so confident it pissed Robbie off that someone could hurt Raj enough to mess with that. And he really hated that his own situation, while quite different in his eyes, was putting Raj right back in all that bad feeling. He didn’t understand how anyone could not want Raj, not adore him, not want to be with him. Although he was glad the ex turned out to be a dick, because otherwise he wouldn’t have this chance. Which you’ll blow if you don’t stop acting like you’re a snot-nosed ten-year-old.

  Time passed and Robbie still hadn’t figured out how to say it without saying it. Finally he saw his Dad round the end of the trailer, probably to take a leak since it was dark.

  He followed after. “Dad?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Dad, I’m gay.” He held his breath, not knowing what to expect.

  It certainly wasn’t his father doubling over and puking his guts up.

  “Dad?”

  “S’all right, son, jus’ a li’l too much a th’ good stuff.”

  Robbie closed his eyes. He’d finally worked up the courage to blurt it out and— “Did you hear me?”

  “Yeah, gay, s’kay. Imma lie down for a bit, son.”

  Robbie ducked under one arm and helped his father into the trailer, finding Wanda already inside. “Just let him fall,” she said, her voice a mix of exasperation and fondness. “You know he didn’t hear you.”

  “Y-you did?”

  She nodded and pointed toward the open window. “You know me. I’m pretty observant. I’d already figured out what you were trying to say.”

  “My mom, and Nana, and Papa, they know, right? Like since I was thirteen, I guess, my first crush on a cute boy. But—”

  “Your dad wasn’t part of your life then. I get it.”

  “I hope he takes it as well as you.”

  “You want me to tell him?”

  “No, I need to do this.” He looked at her. “You think he’ll…?”

  “Honey, I don’t know. I honestly don’t. I know he loves you, so even if he takes it hard, he’s not going to disown you or anything, if that helps.”

  “It does.”

  That night, Robbie was surprised he slept at all, let alone until seven thirty the next morning. Wanda and his father were already outside drinking coffee and cooking bacon.

  He brushed his teeth and went out. “Feeling better, Dad?”

  “Ugh, don’t ask.”

  “Do you remember what I said just before you puked?”

  The blank look was all the answer he needed, and he wasn’t surprised.

  “So anyway, you know how you guys are always saying if I meet someone special you want to meet them?”

  A hopeful light sparked in his father’s eyes. “Yeah? You met someone?”

  Wanda looked curiously confused as she stood beside his father.

  Robbie grinned, and his face probably went all soft and happy. “Yeah. And we haven’t been together very long, but it feels…a lot different from anyone else I’ve ever dated. I might not be saying this so soon, but circumstances and…” he trailed off. “I have to come clean with you.”

  But his father seemed to have missed that last sentence. He was beaming. “When do we get to meet this very different someone?”

  Robbie blinked. “Hold that thought.”

  Raj had tossed and turned all night, wondering when, or even if, Robbie was going to knock on his door. Wondering what he would do when it seemed increasingly likely that Robbie wasn’t going to knock on his door.

  It seemed like he’d just fallen asleep when a loud knock abruptly pulled him back awake. The light streaming in the trailer windows told him he’d slept for a few hours, even if it only felt like five minutes. Robbie had not come by last night.

  He donned his sweatpants and finger-combed his hair on his way to the door. Throwing it open, he demanded, “What?” before realizing it was Robbie. What did he want now?

  “Come with me,” Robbie said, holding out his hand.

  “For Chrissake, Robbie, I haven’t even had coffee yet.” It was far too early to hear more sorrys. But he stepped onto the deck, and Robbie grabbed his hand.

  He half dragged Raj across the grass to where Wayne and Wanda were standing, both looking as bemused as he felt. “Dad, Wanda. I would like you to meet Raj Williams.”

  Raj blinked at the introduction. Why would Robbie…? Then he remembered what Robbie had told him about how he’d planned to come out, initially. Was he…? A smile started on his face.

  Wayne’s brows drew together in obvious confusion. “What the hell are you on about, Robbie? We’ve met Raj a million times.”

  Wanda had a hand over her mouth, and she reached the other up to grasp Wayne’s bicep.

  Raj glanced down to where Robbie was still holding his hand and saw Wayne follow his gaze. Robbie. Holding his hand. Raj flexed his fingers to be sure, and Robbie squeezed in return.

  “I said that wrong. Dad, Wanda, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Raj Williams.”

  Raj tugged on Robbie’s hand, letting him know he could let go if he wanted, but Robbie turned to him and said in a low, fierce tone, “I am not ashamed of you.”

  Before Raj could gather the wits to react, Robbie grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss. Raj opened his mouth automatically, and suddenly Robbie’s arms were around him.

  Robbie broke the kiss to mutter, “You’re not wearing enough clothes.”

  “That’s a first,” Raj said, amused. He’d slept nude, and his sweatpants were all he was wearing.

  Wanda said, “Well. That explains a lot.”

  Her voice reminded him they were not alone, and then Wayne’s voice growled out, “What the royal fuck,” and Robbie was practically ripped from his arms.

  “The fuck, Dad?” Robbie rubbed his shoulder—the last
thing Raj saw before Wayne’s fist made impact with his face.

  His head snapped around, and he stumbled back on a lawn chair before falling to the ground.

  “What did you do to my son?” Wayne yelled, but his voice sounded distant and cottony to Raj, who found himself on the ground.

  “Back the fuck off!”

  That was Robbie’s voice, and Raj blinked away stars. Robbie was between him and his father.

  “It’s okay,” he mumbled from numb lips, tasting blood.

  “Get away from that pervert, Robbie.”

  “Dad, just chill, okay? I’m not a child, and Raj is not a pervert. He’s my boyfriend.”

  “You’re not gay!”

  “Honey.” That was Wanda’s voice, and she sounded so calm. “I think Robbie would know. And he’s been trying to tell you.”

  Raj couldn’t see around Robbie, but he sat up and rubbed his jaw. Wayne packed a helluva punch. It also took care of his partial erection. Nothing sexy about getting socked in the jaw by your boyfriend’s father.

  Wayne’s voice was mottled with anger and confusion. “I want you out of here, Robbie. I—I’m not—I just need time to think, okay? Go…pack your stuff up.”

  Robbie didn’t move.

  “It’s okay, Robbie. I’ll make sure he doesn’t beat the stuffing out of Raj.” Wanda was obviously the sane one.

  Raj got to his feet with Robbie’s help. His eyes had uncrossed, and he licked at the corner of his mouth. Robbie gently touched his face. “I’m sorry.”

  He smiled. “Worth it.” Would Robbie always be that fearless now? If so, definitely worth it.

  “You don’t know that.”

  “You have to sleep in my trailer now, so yeah.” Wayne would, he suspected, eventually apologize.

  Robbie’s smile was crooked. He glanced at Wanda, who offered a reassuring nod, then brushed his lips gently across the mark on Raj’s face before trotting off to pack his stuff.

  “No,” Wayne said, not making eye contact. “Robbie is going back to St. Albans.”

  “Robbie is not,” Robbie called back. “Robbie is a grown man, who can decide who he wants to date and where he’s going to spend his time.”