Heartbreak Warfare

by K. B. Webb

  He laughs and shoves his hands in his pockets, “yea Jazzy, I am calling you a slut.”

  “You sound just like Casey.” I roll my eyes and walk away prepared to grab my phone and keys and leave. I don’t need this shit from him. He is completely irrational and no matter what I say or do, he isn’t going to listen to me.

  “What did Casey say huh? What did she say that you thought was so bad that you punched her in the fucking face? Which, by the way, could get you arrested or sued. Very professional Jasmine. You’re her boss!”

  “I shouldn’t have done it, I know, but she deserved that shit! She told me it was a good thing mom and dad died before they could see how much of a slut I have turned into.”

  Jason takes his hands out his pockets and cross his arms over his chest. “Well, I have to say I agree with her. The last thing mom and dad wanted was to watch you grow up to be a whore.”

  “Jason!” Todd stands up quickly and begins tearing into him, but I don’t hear anything. Jason has said a lot of fucked up things to me in the last 10 years. He has constantly reminded me that I need to set a good example since I’m a Slade and that I need to do things to make our parents proud. He’s called me childish, said I was a drunk, a loser, he’s basically been a raging dick head to me for years now, but nothing he has ever said hurts as much as him agreeing with Casey.

  “Fuck this.” I grab my phone and keys and head for the front door. I feel hot tears burning the backs of my eyes. I have to get out of here before I let him see that he made me cry.

  “I’m your brother Jazzy! I know what’s good for you! Why won’t you just believe that and listen to me?”

  I spin around quickly and face Jason, stepping up to him so that we’re face to face. “I’m your sister Jason. Your little sister! Do you know how shitty you have made me feel for the last 5 years about every little thing that I do? Nothing, nothing I ever do is good enough for you, so you know what I’m done trying. Fuck you, I’m out.”

  “You don’t know what you’re doing Jasmine.” The only time Jason pulls out my full name is when he’s really, really pist at me.

  “You know what Jason, I would rather make decisions based on my opinions and have you question them, than base my decisions on your opinions and question myself.”

  I place my hand on the door handle but Jason speaks again. “Jasmine, if you walk out that door and stay with Ryan Davis, I will have no choice but to fire him.”

  “Fine.”

  “And if you’re going to be with him, I want you to sign over your shares of Slade Industries. You don’t deserve to be associated with the Slade name.” I feel like someone just punched me in the stomach and stabbed me in the heart all at the same time. How could he get so pist over something so small? Ryan’s a great guy if he would take the time to realize that, but no, my brother never compromises. It’s his way or no way, and right now, I would rather deal with his consequences than give in to what he wants me to do.

  “Like I said, you do what you have to do. Draw up the papers and I’ll be by Monday to sign them.”

  “Sweetie,” Todd tries to stop me but I don’t let him. I just open the door and walk outside heading to my car. Jason follows me and stands on his porch, arms crossed, staring at me.

  “Ya know Jason, you always think mom and dad would be so disappointed in me, but did you ever stop to think how disappointed they would be in you?”

  “And why the hell would they be disappointed in me?”

  “Dad used to always say that no amount of money could ever me more important than family. He loved us, all of us, more than anything and he would have never let something like business come between us. You’re nothing like dad, Jason. And while you think I don’t deserve to be associated with the Slade name, I don’t think you deserve to be associated with dad’s name. You’re the one ruining his reputation, not me.” I open my car door and jump inside, barely slamming it shut before I tear out of their driveway.

  I drive to Ricky’s crying the whole way.

  I see Dani’s jeep parked in her usual place so I know she’s here already.

  I walk into Ricky’s and see her standing behind the bar, wiping out beer mugs. She sees the tears running down my face, “Oh sweetie.”

  It seconds she is around the bar and hugging me as I sit down at a stool. I cry for a few minutes, not saying a word and neither does Dani.

  I finally break the silence, “Jason hates me.”

  “No, Jason is a dick, but he could never hate you.”

  “He called me a whore, told me Ryan only wanted me because I was easy and have money, and that I need to sign over my portion of Slade Industries because I don’t deserve to be associated with the Slade name.”

  “That mother fucker.” Dani isn’t the kind of girl that is easily riled up. She’s known for being a laid back, but when she’s really pist, everyone around her knows it, and right now, I know it.

  “How could he say all those things to me Dani? I just don’t get it. He acts like I’m doing some terrible thing and I’m not.” I’m still crying hard and breathing in and out quickly to keep myself from throwing up.

  “Jas, I love you and I promise you, you aren’t doing anything wrong. Ryan is a great guy and after the conversation I had with him this morning, I really believe he wants to be with you and make y’all work. This should be a happy day for you.” She finally releases me and walks back around the bar. “Now, are you doing beer tonight or the hard stuff?”

  “Hard stuff. Lots of it please.”

  She pours me a few shots of her favorite, Jack Daniels, along with a Jack and Coke. I take the shots first before downing the Jack and Coke.

  “Um Jas, have you eaten anything today?”

  “Well I had ordered pizza with Ryan but then Casey showed up and talked lots of shit so I punched her then I went to Jason’s, so no, not really. Why?”

  “Because you’re going to need something in your stomach with all that alcohol. I’ll get you a burger.” She starts to walk back towards the kitchen but stops outside the double doors, “Did you say you punched Casey?”

  “Yes I did.”

  “She deserved it?”

  “You would have hit her if you were there if that’s what you mean.”

  “Good enough for me.”

  An hour later I have been forced to eat a hamburger and a double order of fries. I’ve also had three more Jack and Cokes and can feel the effects of all the alcohol in my system kicking in.

  Dani’s phone rings and when she looks at the screen I swear her face turns as red as her hair. I instantly know it’s Jason even though she doesn’t tell me.

  “The fuck do you want?” There’s silence from her end so I assume Jason is spewing some bullshit at her about me.

  “No, let me tell you something Jason. You’re being a completely unreasonable ass right now. Don’t fucking call me again until you pull your head out of your ass.” She hangs up on him and turns to me with apologetic eyes.

  “Dani, you don’t have to apologize OK? I figured he would call you at some point. Just because he’s pist at me doesn’t mean you have to be mad at him. Y’all are friends too.”

  She shakes her head violently, “Nope. Nuh uh. If he’s going to treat you like shit, I don’t want anything to do with him.”

  I start to cry again, but this time it’s only partially because my brother made me feel like a worthless whore. Mainly it’s because I am drunk and so very grateful to have a friend like Dani.

  “Hey Abu, you ok?” Lucas sits down beside me while Dani walks towards the other end of the bar to wait on the customers that have started to pour in.

  I down the shot Dani left for me before I answer him, “Well, my brother has disowned me and called me a whore today, and I punched a girl in the face and she could totally sue me if she wanted to. So, yea, I’m fucking great.”

  “I know he’s already punched me in the nose once, but if you want me to, I’ll go kick his ass.” I laugh and feel mysel
f smile for the first time in hours. About a year ago, Lucas majorly fucked up his relationship with Dani, and Jason did not take it well. He actually punched Lucas and broke his nose, but Lucas totally deserved it. “I’m really proud of you Jasmine.”

  “For punching a girl in the face?”

  “No dumb ass, for taking a stand with Jason. I know it has to be hard for you to not give in to what he wants you to do, but I am so proud that you aren’t doing that. I know Jason’s your brother and I don’t doubt for a fucking second that he loves you, but I also know that he uses your love for him as a weapon to make you do what he wants you to do, and that’s bullshit. You did the right thing today.”

  “If I did the right thing, then why do I feel like I just lost the one person who has always loved me no matter what?”

  “You didn’t lose him. I really think if you give Jason some time and let him see that you aren’t going to change your mind and that you and Ryan are really serious about being together, he will apologize for everything and you’ll be able to forget this ever happened.”

  “Lucas, I would love to believe that, but I can’t. Jason hold grudges for insanely long periods of time. Unless I break up with Ryan, he is going to continue to be pist at me.”

  “Well then, let him be pist. Despite what you say, I don’t think he can be mad forever. Just give it time.”

  I know Lucas means well, and I think he really believes what he’s saying, but I know Jason better than he does. He won’t just get over this eventually. No, Jason won’t be proud that I took a stand for something I believe in or wake up one day and see that Ryan and I really love each other and want to make this work so he should be supportive. He’s just not forgiving or supportive like that.

  My cell phone rings and I see Todd’s name across the screen. I tell Lucas it’s Todd calling and he takes that as his cue to leave.

  “Hey Todd.”

  “Hey sweetie. Are you OK?”

  “Um, no, not really.”

  “I am so sorry for the way your brother reacted. That was completely uncalled for and I promise you I told him that as soon as you left. Well, I more yelled it at him, but you get what I mean.”

  “Todd, you don’t have to apologize for Jason’s actions. I know they have nothing to do with you. Jason is the way he is, right?”

  “No, it’s not right. This is not one of those times I can chalk your brother’s vile behavior up to ‘the way he is.’ Do you want me to come stay with you tonight? Jason’s been locked up in his office since you left and I called him a heartless jack ass.”

  I consider telling him yes for a few seconds, but the thought passes as quickly as it came. Dani is already in the middle of this drama. I won’t let Todd be too. “No, you don’t have to do that. Thank you for offering though.”

  “Jas, I will come over if you need me. I don’t care how your brother feels about it. He’s the one who’s in the wrong right now so I have no sympathy for him.”

  “I love you for wanting to be there for me and defend me Todd, I really do, but Jason will be your husband soon. I won’t do anything that may cause a riff in y’all’s relationship. I’ll be OK, I promise.”

  “Well, call me if you change your mind. I’m always here for you.”

  “I know you are. Love you.”

  “Love you most sweet girl.” He hangs up before I can say anything else. At the sound of the words my parents said to me so many times over my brief time with them, I start crying again. I look around and realize that Ricky’s is packed and I am drawing an unhealthy amount of attention by crying alone. I see Lucas intently talking to his brother, Logan, by one of the pool tables and decide it’s best to not interrupt.

  I see that Dani is busy, so I walk behind the bar and grab an already opened bottle of Jack and mouth to her that I’m going out back. She nods and smiles.

  I walk through the kitchen of Ricky’s to get outside but am stopped by Geo, the owner, before I make it to the door.

  “Do I know you?”

  “Yep. I’m Jasmine, Dani’s best friend”

  He eyes the bottle of Jack in my hand.

  “You gonna pay for that? We don’t give shit away around here.”

  “Yes I am. Along with other large amounts of alcohol I have consumed tonight. And then I’ll tip Dani, because she’s my best friend and a damn good bartender.”

  He looks me up and down and then nods, letting me pass by him.

  I sit outside by myself, drinking Jack from the bottle, and crying for longer than can be deemed healthy. I just for the life of me can’t understand why Jason is acting like this. I know that I have never been the perfect sister, but I have worked my ass off to be the person I am today, and I wish he could be proud of that. Instead though, he thinks that every decision I have ever considered making is the wrong one and I am a huge failure at life in general. I know Jason loves me and wants the best for me, but sometimes he has a really shitty way of showing it.

  I hear the door creek and see Wynee walk out with a cigarette in her mouth. She sees my tears and rushes over and wraps her arm around my shoulder.

  “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” She rubs her hand up and down my arm trying to console me.

  I laugh in between tears, “What isn’t?”

  We don’t speak after that. Instead I lay my head down on her shoulder and she sits there and lets me cry while she smokes a cigarette. If I was sober I would wonder why she is being so nice and understanding since she doesn’t know me at all, but right now I’m drunk and I appreciate the comfort she is giving me.

  Wynee eventually has to go back inside and I am once again alone. I sit outside for at least an hour, drinking, crying, cussing, and talking to myself.

  I hear the door creak open again and expect to see Dani, Wynee, or even Molly walking outside, but instead I see Ryan. He’s still wearing the clothes he was when he dropped me off at my car. I should have called him when I left Jason’s, I told him I would, but I just couldn’t.

  Ryan walks over to me, taking the now empty bottle from my hand and places it on the ground. He scoops me up into a fireman’s carry and kisses my forehead.

  I bury my face in his shirt and start crying all over again, this time so much harder.

  “I’ve got you Jasmine, OK? Everything’s going to be alright.” I just nod and continue to cry as he walks into the bar.

  “Ryan?” I hear Molly’s voice but don’t look up from Ryan’s shirt. “I didn’t even know you were here.”

  “Well, I was just leaving actually.”

  “Why are you holding Jasmine? And why the hell is she crying? What the fuck is going on right now?”

  “I’m holding her because she’s my girlfriend and she’s really upset right now and I’m trying to get home.”

  “Your girlfriend?”

  “Yes, girlfriend. Now, can I get her home please? I don’t have the patience to talk about this with you right now and as you can see I’m pretty busy.” Damn, I guess Ryan took the standing up to Molly thing I said this morning to heart.

  “Well then, you go right ahead and leave.”

  “That’s what I was planning on doing.”

  We start walking again but I still don’t look up. I hear the commotion of the bar and Ryan tell Dani he will text her later. We make it to his truck and he sets me down in the passenger seat before getting in on the passenger side.

  “Now, tell me exactly what happened when you went to Jason’s house? I mean every detail, because if I am going to kick his fucking ass and I need to know how hard I need to kick it.”

  I do. On the ride home I tell him every detail of my conversation with Jason today. By the time we reach the parking lot of our building, I am red faced from crying and Ryan is red faced from anger.

  We walk in the building and inside my apartment without saying a word.

  Ten minutes later we are both laying in my bed, me on my side to try and stop the room from spinning.

  “I’m drunk.”

 
“It’s OK. You had a shit day.”

  “He’s a fucking ass hole.”

  “Yes he is.”

  “But he’s my brother.”

  “He’s that too.”

  “And I love him so damn much, Ryan.”

  “And I know he loves you too Jasmine. That doesn’t make what he did OK at all, but he does love you very much.”

  “I feel like I’m going to puke, but then again I know all I’ll do is dry heave so I don’t want to get out of bed at all.”

  “Yea, you had a lot of whiskey tonight. Why didn’t you call me after you left Jason’s, or when you got to Ricky’s?”

  “I’m sorry. I should have, but I didn’t really know what to say and I know Jason’s an ass but I really didn’t want to hear you talking shit about him. That won’t solve anything.”

  “I get that, but you should have called.”

  “I fucked up again didn’t I?”

  “Not at all Jasmine, not at all. I was just worried about you.”

  “Who called you?”

  “Dani. I thought she was calling for me to get a drunk person, but it turned out the drunk was you. Surprising for me, but I’m glad she called when she did.”

  “Why did you get an attitude with Molly tonight?”

  “Well honestly, I’m still really pist about the way she treated you last night. Hell, I’m still pist at myself for not standing up for you. So, when I saw her tonight I knew I had to stand up for you and for our relationship. You did it for me today and I wanted to return the favor. You deserve a guy who just wants to take care of you and doesn’t give a shit if people agree with it.”

  “Thank you.”

  We cuddle down in my bed, Ryan lying behind me with his chest to my back. I feel myself going in and out of sleep and hear myself say something to Ryan, but I can’t figure out what it is.

  Ryan cuddles in next to me wrapping his arms around me as tightly as he can.

  “Good night Jasmine, everything will be OK I promise.”

  Ryan’s sweet words finally lull me to sleep thinking that this is the perfect ending to such a shitty day.

  “I sure hope you love me as much as I love you.”