Dorothy’s Derby Chronicles: Rise of the Undead Redhead
Page 9
“Let me,” Dee said, grabbing a fistful of Ruth’s T-shirt. With one mighty yank, Dee pulled Rolling Thunder clean out of the hole. To Dorothy’s relief, the bottom half of the big girl was still intact.
Dorothy bent over Ruth. “Are you okay?”
Ruth giggled softly and nodded, but looked terrified.
By this time everyone had arrived at the edge of the hole. The basement, with its dirt floor and shelves of boxes, could be seen through the splintered wood.
Jade’s eyes were wide with shock, and her voice trembled as she spoke. “Did anyone else notice that this happened just as I said—” she cupped her hand over her mouth and whispered, “roller derby?”
Suddenly, with a flash and a spray of sparks, all the lights went dead.
Dorothy and her teammates screamed.
In the blackness, a hand slipped into Dorothy’s. “It’s okay, people. Just a power outage.” Max’s tone was calm and reassuring. A small beam of light appeared, and Max pointed his flashlight at the ruined floor. “Why don’t we all get out of here before someone else falls through the track?”
Chapter 19
“This is silly,” Gigi said, surveying the small gymnasium. “Galactic Skate is a way better place to compete. Why can’t we have our bouts there?”
It was Friday evening, and Dorothy’s team had just arrived at their first bout. They were competing against a team called the Peanut Butter Jammers, but instead of a rec center or a skating rink, the address on the schedule turned out to be an elementary school.
“Avast, me hearties. Eva be the reason,” Grandma growled. She had been talking like a pirate since before breakfast, and Dorothy was almost used to it. The pirate costume, on the other hand, was a little harder to ignore. Grandma was wearing a knee-length coat, an eye patch, and a flamboyant black hat trimmed with an ostrich-feather plume. The most distracting part of the costume was the thin, curly mustache.
“But why, Grandma?” Dorothy asked. “We practice at Galactic Skate all the time. Why can’t we compete there?”
Since the mishap on Monday, Uncle Enzo had pulled in some favors from his sleazy cronies, and Galactic Skate’s rink floor had been repaired and an electrician had replaced all the lightbulbs and fuses. In addition, Max, Dorothy, and her team had been doing some more cleaning and the place now smelled more like Pine Fresh cleaner than dirty gym shorts.
This gymnasium, on the other hand, wasn’t set up for skating. The floor was even made from a slightly spongy material—not easy stuff to skate on. Dorothy wondered if that was why the Peanut Butter Jammers hadn’t shown yet. The only other people in the room were a group of elementary school kids and their chubby gym teacher.
“Arrr,” Grandma growled. “Captain Enzo swore he’d never be havin’ a bout at Galactic Skate after Eva went to Davy Jones’s locker.”
“You mean after Eva died?” Jade translated, lacing up her skates.
Grandma twisted her mustache between two fingers. “Aye. It be a sad, sad thing. And sadder still now that Galactic Skate be walking the plank herself. Enzo’s coffers be empty, me hearties.”
“What? Galactic Skate is out of money?” Gigi asked.
“Aye,” Grandma said. “’Tis bankrupt.”
Dorothy made a mental note to talk to Max. If Galactic Skate was so strapped for cash, maybe Uncle Enzo would change his mind and let the junior teams have their bouts there. They could sell tickets, baked goods, souvenirs…and it would sure beat competing in elementary school gymnasiums.
“Three things more,” Grandma said. “First, because you were a filler team, they are letting you skate short, but you’ll need to fill the roster by next season. Next, here be yer first bout gifts.” Grandma reached in her jacket pocket and pulled out eight new mouth guards and passed them around. “So you can actually understand each other. Last,” Grandma continued, “one of ye still be nameless.”
Dorothy looked around at her team. Who didn’t have a skate name yet?
There was Dinah Mite who was chugging down a can of Power Crank.
Geekzilla and Rolling Thunder were giggling over a diagram in a spiral-bound playbook.
Dee Tension was letting Juana SmackHer punch her in the teeth, just to test the quality of the new mouth guards.
The only other players besides Dorothy were Gigi (Booty Vicious) and Jade.
Jade sighed. “I know, I know. I just haven’t been able to think of anything good.”
Grandma smoothed her ostrich plume. “Know what we call a corpse with no name?”
Jade knitted her eyebrows. “Like a dead body that can’t be identified?”
Grandma lifted her eye patch and winked.
Jade shrugged. “Of course. A John Doe.”
“And for a lass?” Grandma prodded.
“A Jane Doe.” An invisible lightbulb lit up above Jade’s head. “That’s it! Jade Doe! Creepy and mysterious. Totally me.”
Grandma smiled and wrote Jade’s new skate name on her clipboard. She headed across the gymnasium to talk to the chubby teacher.
Some of the little kids got up from their tiny chairs and walked over to Dorothy’s team. They were all wearing Peanut Butter Jammers T-shirts.
“How cute,” Gigi said in a sticky sweet voice. “You little kids must be big fans of the Peanuts.”
A skinny girl with freckles turned around and pointed at the back of her shirt. It said Strawberry Shortstack. “We are the Peanut Butter Jammers,” she said. “We just wanted to wish you luck. ’Cause you’re gonna need it!”
Strawberry Shortstack snapped her fingers, and the Peanuts headed back to their chubby coach to put on skates and pads.
Dorothy almost wanted to laugh out loud. Had she really been worried about this bout? The Peanuts weren’t much bigger than Sam.
Jade frowned. “Are we seriously supposed to compete against third-graders?”
“Yeah,” Gigi said, strapping on her striped helmet. “Kind of a shame to waste all this awesomeness on the rollertots.”
“Beatin’ up little kids ain’t good for my reputation, either,” Dee grunted.
“Uh, let’s just take it easy on them,” Dorothy suggested. “Maybe even let them score a few points?”
Lizzy tapped her pencil on her playbook. “I should probably mention that I’m quite allergic to peanuts.”
“Don’t worry, Geekzilla,” Dorothy said, patting the tall girl on the back. “There is no way these peanuts can hurt you.”
• • •
Twenty minutes later…
“Well, that was embarrassing,” Grandma said as the team shuffled out of the gymnasium.
“You’re telling us,” Dee mumbled, rubbing her sore behind.
“I blame myself,” Grandma said. “I should be paying more attention to coaching you girls. Not this silliness,” Grandma said, ripping off her mustache and shoving it in her pocket. “And we really need more skaters.”
“I like your silliness,” Sam said.
Grandma tugged one of Sam’s pigtails playfully. “That’s why I do it, hon.”
“It’s not your fault,” Jade said, mopping her sweaty face and arms with a towel. “Those little kids were fast. Strawberry Shortstack was dusting me.”
Dorothy nodded. “And we couldn’t block her to save our lives.”
“Perhaps if Gigi had provided the proper leadership and pacing,” Lizzy said. “The rules clearly state that blockers must stay in tight formation.”
Dorothy sighed. Geekzilla was right. Their blockers had been spread all over the track and had received multiple penalties for breaking up the pack. Gigi either didn’t notice or she didn’t care.
“Every girl for herself,” Gigi said.
“Team sport, hon,” Grandma said.
Gigi made a disgusted face. “Whatever. It’s not like any of Geekzilla’s plays worked, either.”
“That wasn’t a seizure,” Dinah said. Her body still appeared to be vibrating slightly from her energy drink. “That was the Hokey Pokey.” Dinah demonstrated by wiggling her bottom and flapping her arms up and down like an injured duck.
If that was the Hokey Pokey, it was a version Dorothy had never seen before.
“Well, it is kind of a great way to distract the other team,” Dorothy said, trying to sound optimistic. Unfortunately, Dinah’s spazzery had distracted Dorothy, too. What was worse, one of Dinah’s crazy kicks had collided with Dorothy’s skate, and their wheels had become linked. They couldn’t pull their feet apart and ended up tripping one of the Peanuts. Both Dorothy and Dinah went to the penalty box for that mishap.
What Slugs ’n’ Hisses needs is some creative coaching, Dorothy thought. Why doesn’t Grandma make Gigi skate backward? Then Gigi would have to look at the pack.
Dorothy’s thoughts were interrupted by a tug on her shirt. It was Juana. “You are thinking something, no? You shoulds tell us.”
Dorothy sighed and shook her head. “No. Just a dumb idea. No one would listen to me, anyway.”
“I woulds,” Juana said.
Dorothy looked at Juana. The dark-haired girl looked so sincere.
“Well,” Dorothy said, “I was just thinking that Gigi could skate backward, and…” She was about to add that Jade should pass the star occasionally. Jade was good, but she got so winded she had to call time-outs just to catch her breath.
“Skate backward?” Gigi snorted. “No offense, Undead, but that is a dumb idea.”
Dorothy’s confidence deflated like a punctured tire. “Oh,” she said, her shoulders sagging. So much for speaking up.
Still, the Slugs had to make improvements, and soon. If they continued to botch games like this, they were sure to lose, or worse, injure players. Nobody wanted to be on a team that lost all the time. Including Dorothy. But what could she do?
Chapter 20
Over the next six weeks, Dorothy’s team practiced every day after school. Grandma’s no-nonsense coaching was working. The pack was tighter, and Dorothy’s speed was better. Dinah’s goofiness was in check, and Rolling Thunder hardly ever crashed now.
Still, no amount of coaching could cure Gigi from getting in Jade’s way—and no amount of exhaustion would convince Jade that she needed to share her jamming duties.
Despite all that, the Slugs ’n’ Hisses had won their last three games!
Their first victory came when the Rolling Roses never showed up at the bout.
Their second win was against the unbeaten SlugHERS. The SlugHERS lost by one point, blaming the loss on their absent pivot, Quaranteen, who was home in bed with the chicken pox.
The Slugs’ most recent victory was against the Crash Test Hunnies. It had been a close game, but Dorothy’s team had been able to shut out the Hunnies’ jammer, Knocks Zeema, and give Jade just the opening she needed to score an extra five points for the win.
The last game of the season was one week before Halloween. The Slugs were scheduled to battle the Doomsday Princesses. The bout took place at the Grossman Rec Center, almost an hour’s drive west into the mountains. It had started snowing earlier that day—the first snow of the season—and Dead Betty had fishtailed the entire drive. Dorothy was already on her last nerve by the time they pulled into the rec center parking lot.
The inside of the center smelled like a Mt. Everest of dirty gym socks. Dorothy’s eyes watered from the stench, but through the blur she saw a familiar face.
“Max!” she cried, and ran to greet him at the check-in desk.
He opened his arms and she almost hugged him, but thought better of it and offered a hand instead.
Max shook it and gave her a lopsided grin.
“What are you doing here?” Gigi asked.
“Guess,” Max said, taking off his jacket. Underneath was a black-and-white shirt.
Dorothy’s heart skipped a beat. “You’re a referee?”
“And guess what else?” he said, his eyes twinkling. “I’ve been looking at the lineup, and if you win this game, you’re in the championship bout!”
Grandma gave Max a high five while the girls exchanged confused looks.
“But that’s statistically impossible,” Geekzilla said. “The Slugs have only won three games.”
“Well,” Max said. “Since you guys replaced another team, your averages are still great. Win tonight, and you play the Cheerbleeders on Halloween night.”
He gestured for everyone to follow him to the basketball courts. The back of his jersey said Max Voltage.
The court was as disappointing as the rest of the building. The floor was worn and cracked, and had been repaired in spots with duct tape. It also looked like it hadn’t been mopped in at least a decade.
“Any luck talking Uncle Enzo into letting us have our bouts at Galactic Skate?” Dorothy asked.
Max sighed and draped an arm over Dorothy’s shoulder. “Actually, I was going to tell you after the game, but I might as well break it to you now.”
“Oh no,” Dorothy said. “Galactic Skate isn’t closing, is it?” Where would they skate? Where would Alex skate…and since when did she care about Alex?
Max’s serious face cracked into a grin. “No, Dorth. Actually, if Slugs ’n’ Hisses wins tonight, Uncle Enzo agreed to hold the championship bout at Galactic Skate!”
“Really?” Dorothy said, and she threw her arms around Max’s waist.
Dorothy’s team jumped up and down and cheered.
“Yup,” he said, squeezing back. He smelled good, like oranges and cinnamon. Suddenly Dorothy felt everyone’s eyes on her and she let go.
“But you have to win this bout first, okay?” he said with a wink.
Dorothy’s cheeks felt hot.
Grandma cleared her throat. “Hey. Max Voltage. You better skedaddle before the other team catches you getting all hoochie coochie with the enemy.”
Dorothy shot Grandma a menacing look. Hoochie coochie?
Max raised his eyebrows flirtatiously and skated away.
Rolling Thunder and Dinah giggled until Dorothy shot them a disapproving look. They stopped for a minute, but started giggling again after Dinah made kissy noises.
“So,” Lizzy said. “I’ve been developing some new plays.” She handed out a sheet of paper to everyone on the team. “I made some observations at the Doomsday Princesses’ last bout, and I have identified a few weaknesses we can exploit.”
“You spied on the Princesses?” Gigi asked, looking impressed.
Lizzy smiled and pushed her glasses up her nose. “I prefer the term ‘field research.’”
Dorothy looked at the paper and suddenly felt very hopeful. These plays might actually work! “Nice ‘field research,’ Geekzilla. We might actually get to that championship game after all!”
Thanks to Lizzy, the team was finally working together, and...
Chapter 21
“Let’s go,” Grandma said, tucking her spiky pink hair into a nun’s habit. “We’re running late. Don’t want to miss your big championship game!”
Halloween had arrived sunny but cold. The Night of the Rolling Dead was tonight, and Dorothy was in her uniform: her Slugs ’n’ Hisses T-shirt and a skirt. She’d used eye shadow to apply a dark circle around one eye and a dark line under the other for dramatic effect. For a final touch, she’d used Grandma’s red lipstick to paint blood dripping from the corners of her mouth. It had made her queasy to look at herself in the mirror, but she definitely looked like an Undead Redhead now.
Grandma was dressed as the Shotgun Nun. Her outfit was mostly a nun costume, except Gra
ndma had shortened the dress so it just barely covered her behind. “All the better to show off my new fishnets and thigh-high boots,” she had said.
“Let’s do this,” Dorothy said, feeling a sudden rush of excitement about the big game. She headed to the door, picked up her skates by the laces, and yanked the door open.
There stood her mother, one hand raised, ready to knock.
“Trick or treat!” she said, wrapping her arms around her startled daughter.
Dorothy swallowed hard. Was this a dream? Mom? Here at Grandma’s house? Remembering the forbidden skates in her hand, she carefully shifted them so they were concealed behind her back.
Sam ran up and hugged Mom. Sam was wearing the Slugs ’n’ Hisses Official Cheerleader T-shirt Jade had made for her.
“Are you surprised to see me?” Mom asked, holding Sam out at arm’s length. Mom’s hair was now platinum blond instead of red. Her smile was bleach white.
“Uh, very surprised,” Dorothy said. She bit her bottom lip. “So, why didn’t you call?”
Mom grinned. “And ruin all the fun?”
“Are you here to take us to Nashville?” Sam said, bouncing up and down.
Mom laughed and tucked a loose strand of curly hair behind Sam’s ear. “No, Samantha. Just visiting. I thought I’d stop in on my way to California. Nashville really isn’t working out for Mommy, so I’m going to L.A. to become an actress. Isn’t that cool? Your mom, a Hollywood star!”
“But you’re gonna take us with you, right?” Sam said, clutching Mom’s jacket sleeve.
“Come on, Sammy. Don’t be like that,” Mom said, peeling Sam’s fingers off her arm and smoothing out the wrinkled suede. “L.A. isn’t any good for kids. Smoggy, lots of traffic. Besides, I’m going to be really busy with auditions and movie shoots and things. You understand, don’t you, honey?”
Tears pooled in the little girl’s eyes.
Dorothy wrapped a protective arm around her little sister’s shoulder. “Why did you even come here?”
Mom furrowed her brow. “Dorothy Anne Moore. What’s gotten into you? I thought you’d be happy to see me.” Her eyes assessed her daughter critically. “So,” she said, suspiciously, “what’s with the makeup and clothes? Don’t tell me you’ve gone all goth on us.”