A Complete Fiasco

by P. F. Ford

  ‘Don’t worry, Sergeant, that possibility has crossed my mind. The way you’ve handled this whole operation I have to consider the possibility that you’re either incompetent, or you made sure it went pear-shaped.’

  ‘The way I’ve handled it?’ said an incredulous Slater. ‘You’re supposed to be the bloody expert. Don’t think you can just dump it all on me.’

  Jones glared at him, and began to turn purple. Slater thought he was about to explode, and he was pretty sure that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from punching DI Jimmy ‘Pass the Buck’ Jones on the nose.

  ‘Get her out of here, Sergeant,’ Jones growled, finally. ‘I want her interviewed now. And when you’ve done that, you can wait for me at the station. This whole operation has turned into a bloody fiasco and I’m holding you responsible.’

  Now it was Slater’s turn to turn purple. So this was how it was going to be. Jones was going to use him as a scapegoat to save his own face. The temptation to flatten him was almost too much to resist, and Slater knew he could take him easily, but he stood his ground, silently fighting to control himself. Thumping Jones would only make it even easier for him to cause trouble.

  As they stood glaring at each other, a head appeared from the front door.

  ‘All clear, Sir. No one in the house!’

  ‘This is all your fault,’ Jones said, his voice hard. ‘Get out of my sight. Now!’

  ‘Glad to. Sir,’ said Slater through gritted teeth. He knew there was a huge bollocking coming his way, but at least there was a chance he could get Sophia out of the station before Jones got back. He turned to her. ‘Would you come this way, Miss?’ He smiled at her.

  She nodded her head and walked with him. As they walked, Slater’s phone pinged in his pocket.

  ‘Excuse me,’ he said, ‘I’d better just check this.’

  ‘Of course,’ she said, smiling back at him.

  He looked at his phone and read the short text message. Then he looked at the one he had ignored earlier. He passed the phone over to Sophia.

  ‘You’d better read that.’

  She read the text and handed the phone back.

  ‘I have it for self-defence,’ she said quietly. ‘I have a licence for it.’

  They kept walking. All the while Slater was thinking, hard.

  ‘But you didn’t use it, did you? And no-one else saw it?’

  ‘No, it’s still in my pocket.’

  ‘Okay. I think we can sort that out. Now, do you know who sent this text, because it’s not a number I recognise.’

  ‘My niece, Jelena.’

  ‘Here,’ he said, handing her the phone. ‘You’d better give her a call and let her and Alfie know you’re alright. They must be worried about you.’

  He waited while she made the call, and then when she had finished, she told him what had happened to them. He smiled. And then he began to laugh, and as he laughed, it seemed to ease the tension within Sophia, and she started laughing too. It was only as they were getting into his car that he finally stopped laughing and spoke.

  ‘We’d better go and rescue them,’ he said, ‘and then on the way back to the station we’re going to stop at your place. When we get there you’re going to go inside and empty your pockets. Then we’ll go and get your statement sorted out.’

  ‘But I don’t want to get you into trouble,’ she said.

  He gave her a grim smile.

  ‘Oh, don’t worry about that,’ he said. ‘It looks like I’m already in about as much trouble as I could possibly be. It would be really hard to make it much worse. And anyway, they won’t worry about what they don’t know about. Right?’

  Chapter Sixteen

  Alfie and Jelena had been locked in the back of the van for hours now. It had been parked in such a way they couldn’t see anything outside, and in the interior darkness it was getting uncomfortably hot. The only good thing about the whole situation so far had been the brief call from Sophia telling them she was safe and with Dave Slater.

  Apart from that, they had no idea what had happened, what was happening now, or what was going to happen next, so the sound of doors being unlocked and opened was as unexpected as it was welcome. As the door swung open, early morning light shone in their faces. Alfie put his hands up to shield his face, and then he heard the sound of laughter. And he recognised the voice. It was Dave Slater.

  ‘Well, well. Look what we have here,’ said Slater.

  ‘What’s so funny?’ Alfie asked, indignantly.

  ‘Where shall I start?’ Slater paused momentarily for effect. ‘You’ve missed all the fun. While you two have been sat on the naughty step here, that lady of yours has been battering the crap out of some bloke back at the hideaway.’

  ‘Is she alright?’

  ‘Yeah, she’s fine,’ said Slater. ‘And I have to tell you she’s damned good. Took on a guy twice her size and absolutely slaughtered him.’ He stopped briefly to relive the moment before continuing. ‘And I hear you got nicked peeping over a fence. I thought you were supposed to be good at this stuff.’ He began to laugh again.

  ‘Look,’ said Alfie, wearily, ‘technically it was Jelena looking over the fence not me. And if all you’ve come to do is gloat, you can just clear off again.’

  Jelena hadn’t said a word since the doors had been opened, but she’d obviously had enough of being locked in the van with Alfie.

  ‘No!’ she yelled in alarm. ‘Don’t send away. Get us out.’

  ‘Actually,’ said Slater, clearly revelling in the situation, ‘I’m not here to gloat. Well, not specifically anyway. Let’s just say being able to gloat is like an added bonus. What I’m really here for is to rescue you. The nice sergeant has agreed to hand you over to me.’

  Jelena sighed.

  ‘Thank goodness,’ she said.

  ‘That’s very decent of him,’ agreed Alfie.

  ‘I hate to disappoint you, but decency has nothing to do with it,’ said Slater. ‘He just doesn’t want to have to do the paperwork when he gets back. Anyway, come on, let’s get going.’

  Very gallantly, he took Jelena’s arm to help her out of the van. She immediately had his full attention, and he carefully led her off towards his car, leaving Alfie to climb down from the van on his own.

  Slater had parked as close as he could, but even so they had a fair walk before they got to it. From Alfie’s position bringing up the rear, he thought Slater was paying just a tad more attention to Jelena than was necessary, but then she was a very attractive young lady, and after being shut in the back of a cold, dark van for a couple of hours, she probably deserved a little care and attention.

  As they neared the car, the passenger door suddenly burst open and Sophia rushed towards them, not stopping until she was in Alfie’s arms, hugging him as tight as she could. As they walked across to Slater’s car, the driver’s window wound smoothly down and his face appeared.

  ‘I think you two had better sit in the back.’

  As he started the car they slid into the back seats, Sophia clutching his hand as if she was frightened he might run away at any moment. Five minutes later, the car pulled up outside the flats where they lived, and Slater turned to Sophia.

  ‘Okay,’ he said quietly. ‘You know what you have to do?’

  She nodded, opened the door and slid out.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Alfie asked, confused.

  ‘It’s alright,’ said Sophia, ‘I’ll just be a moment.’

  Then she closed the door and was gone.

  ‘Dave?’ asked Alfie.

  ‘Do you remember Billy Bumble?’

  ‘What’s that got to do with this?’

  ‘Remember that story you made up about what happened that night? And remember how you told me it was all I was going to get?’

  ‘Yeah, but-’

  ‘I’m not going to insult your intelligence by telling you a load of lies. I’m sure Sophia will explain it to you in a day or two, but for now, especially as we’re going
to the police station, I’m asking you to trust me. I know what I’m doing, and right now, that’s all you’re going to get. Alright?’

  Alfie knew Slater had a point. He hadn’t actually told Slater any lies that night, it was more a case of being economical with the truth, but he supposed the principle was the same. And he did trust Slater. After all, he was one of the good guys.

  Sophia was back in the car in less than two minutes, and then they headed off to the station. As he drove, Slater explained what he was going to do when they got there. Jelena and Alfie were to be released without further action. In fact, he was going to forget all about them.

  Sophia was to be interviewed, but very quickly. He even explained to her that all she had to do was tell him she had gone to the house to talk to her ex-husband, but he wasn’t there. The other guy had attacked her and she had defended herself.

  ‘With any luck,’ he finished, sounding incredibly weary, ‘I can get you in and out again without any hassle from DI Jones.’

  ‘What’s going on, Dave?’ asked Alfie. ‘You sound like you’ve had enough.’

  He let out a huge sigh.

  ‘The whole operation’s gone pear-shaped,’ he said. ‘Slick Tony wasn’t there.’

  ‘But, I saw him,’ said Alfie. ‘He threatened us.’

  ‘Oh, he was there earlier in the week, but he was gone before we went in. I said all along we should have stormed the house as soon as we knew he was there, but DI Expert insisted we should wait. It’s like the guy knew exactly what we were doing and when we were coming.’

  ‘But that’s not your fault. How can it be?’

  ‘Of course it’s not my fault,’ agreed Slater. ‘The blame should lie with the guy running the operation, but he’s going to offer me as the sacrificial lamb to save his own skin.’

  ‘You think Tony has someone on the inside?’ asked Sophia.

  He thought for a few moments before answering. Then, as he swung the car into the police station car park, he replied.

  ‘Well, if he has got someone on his payroll, my logic says it’s not likely to be someone from this tin-pot little town where he’s never been before. Much more likely he knows someone from London, wouldn’t you think?’

  Epilogue

  True to his word, Slater managed to speed Sophia through her interview, and she was back home with Alfie and Jelena long before Jones got back to the station.

  It was next morning that DS Dave Slater was informed he was being suspended for his incompetence in handling the surveillance operation, and that’s why he was sat at home, twiddling his thumbs at the beginning of ‘Death of A Temptress,’ the first book in the DS Dave Slater Mystery Series.

  DS Dave Slater Mystery Novels

  Death of a Temptress

  Just a Coincidence

  Florence

  The Wrong Man

  The Red Telephone Box

  The Secret of Wild Boar Woods

  P.F. Ford links:

  P.F. Ford website

  P.F. Ford’s Author Central page

  P.F. Ford on Goodreads