Linked

by Barbara Huffert

  Diana sighed. “You still don’t believe what I keep telling you. You, Victoria Banks, are so much more than you see yourself as. Maybe Guy sees what I do. Maybe he looked beyond the mask you wear and realized how special you are. Maybe he considers your fresh, clean flawless complexion a change for the better after dating model-types who overdo the makeup. Maybe a perfect body isn’t enough for him. Maybe he appreciates your intelligence and truly wants to know you better. Don’t be swayed by his reputation. I suspect he is one of those men who keeps looking for what he really wants in all the wrong places. He could very well be the type who falls hard once he finds what he wants. A man like that is generally very devoted to the woman who captures his heart.”

  “Maybe. It doesn’t really matter though because I’m not ready for anything like that. I don’t even know what I want for me yet so how could I possible know if Guy or any other man might fit with me?”

  “All right, Tori. As long as you’re not using that as an excuse to prevent him from getting too close to you because you’re still afraid that everyone you meet will one day turn their backs on you like your family did, I won’t hound you about it. Just think things through very carefully before you make any hasty decisions that you end up regretting.”

  Tori and Diana spent the next few hours happily discussing the new books that had arrived during the past week. They were still at it when Guy returned to collect Tori for their date.

  “Did you girls have a nice chat?” Guy asked, trying to draw Tori into a conversation.

  “Mm. How about you and Barry? Get everything done you needed to?”

  “Yep. We had that taken care of in an hour.”

  “Oh. So what did you do the rest of the time?”

  “Hung out. We planned on sitting in the coffee shop but I couldn’t do that.”

  “What?”

  “You were too far away so we ended up sitting in the parking lot even though one of the rookies was in the library.”

  “You’re not serious.”

  “I am. She was posing as a college student doing research. I’m sure you were within her sight the whole time.”

  “Oh God,” Tori groaned. “That makes me feel like such a moron.”

  “Why?”

  “I had a baby-sitter and didn’t even realize it. Jeez, she must have hated that.”

  “No, Tori. She was doing her job protecting a member of the public who is in danger. She was there to help if you needed it, not to baby-sit. According to Barry she really had some things to look for so it wasn’t all downtime.”

  “Oh. Okay.” Tori stared at her plate and fidgeted nervously, barely responding for the next few minutes.

  “What’s going on in your pretty little head now, tiger?”

  “Nothing. Sorry I’m not better company. I’m not good at all this dating stuff.”

  “What makes you think that? We’ve spent the last week together without you being at all nervous around me.”

  “But we weren’t out on a date.”

  “Technically, no, but you’ve known I’m interested in you. What’s the difference between us being here instead of having dinner in your kitchen? You said you liked to come here so it can’t be the restaurant.”

  “It just is. I can’t explain, so why don’t you just ignore me and eat your dinner?”

  Guy’s hand reached across the table and claimed hers. “Would you please look at me?” He waited for her to raise her eyes. “I can’t ignore it because it’s bothering you. I don’t want to ignore it because that’s not the way I work. I refuse to ignore it because it is affecting us. I will, however, drop it for now as long as you understand that I only asked because I want to know you. All of you. We said we’d be honest with each other. If I’m making you uncomfortable I need to know so I understand why. You don’t have to pull any punches with me, tiger. Feel free to say anything because I’d much rather hear it than have you hide it. I may or may not like it and I may or may not react like an overbearing jerk but you already saw me at my worst so I know you can handle it.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay, you’re pacifying me to shut me up, or okay, you’ll keep that in mind and talk about it when you’re ready?”

  “Okay, I’ll keep it in mind. Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything.”

  “What did you and Todd really go outside to talk about this morning?”

  “You. Todd and I know each other very well. When you walked into the kitchen he saw the way I looked at you and knew things had changed between us.”

  “Wait. He knew we slept together? Oh God.”

  “Yes, Tori, but he didn’t take me outside to judge you. He was concerned for your safety and the fact that my reactions could interfere with that.”

  “You mean your Alpha male act might get in the way?” He nodded. “What did you say to calm him down so fast?”

  “I explained why I couldn’t stay away from you until after this is over. I asked him what he would have done if Terese were the one in need of a man to wipe out the images in her head and he accepted that I had to be with you.”

  “You told him all that? You actually told him all the things I said?”

  “Not verbatim. I said enough for him to grasp the situation. He understands and all he asked is that I don’t go overboard in public.”

  She yanked her hand from his. “We shouldn’t be here.”

  “It’s fine, Tori. I promise.”

  “Well, then you shouldn’t touch me.”

  “Again, it’s fine. He didn’t mean I shouldn’t hold your hand or put my arm around you when we’re not alone. He meant not to flaunt our relationship in front of his team. He trusts me to control my behavior and stay out of the way if something comes up but the others don’t know me like he does. If I make my feelings obvious someone else may request that I be pulled from the investigation. Todd doesn’t want that any more than I do so he reminded me of the possibility and how I can prevent it.”

  “If you say so. This is so embarrassing. I can’t believe he knew we had sex just by watching you look at me. He must think I’m such a slut.”

  “One, we’re consenting adults and it’s no one’s business what we have or have not done together. Two, Todd already figured out that I want to be with you and would go to extremes to convince you that you want me too. Three, he and my sister are very open about their sexuality so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Four, he still thinks that you are one hell of a woman just like he did yesterday. There is absolutely nothing about you that gives the impression of sluttishness in any sense of the word. I understand that you have to get to know him for yourself but I guarantee that you’ll eventually agree that Todd’s a good guy.” Tori didn’t say a word. “I’ll get our waiter to pack this up and we’ll go home.”

  Tori swallowed the lump in her throat at the flash of disappointment that crossed Guy’s face. “Do we have to? I’m sorry that I ruined our date so far but maybe we could try to salvage the rest of it. I mean if you want to.”

  Guy smiled at her suggestion. “Sure thing, tiger, if that’s what you want too. Going to let me hold your hand in the movie?”

  She giggled. “What are we, thirteen? Or were you already more advanced than that by then?”

  “I’m not sure I like what you’re implying. You seem to have the wrong impression of me.”

  “Do I? I wasn’t trying to insult you. It’s just so obvious that you have way more experience than I do, Guy.”

  He considered what to say. “I won’t deny it. Does that bother you?”

  “I don’t know yet. It depends.”

  “On what?”

  “Oh, Guy, it is you,” a breathy voice interrupted their conversation as a well-endowed woman in an extremely tight dress leaned over the back of Guy’s chair, pressing her cleavage to his shoulder. “I thought it was when you came in but I wasn’t sure since you didn’t stop to say hi.”

  “I’m sorry, Candy. I didn’t notice you.” He
blatantly caressed Tori’s hand and smiled at her a beat too long. “This is Victoria Banks, my very special lady. Tori, Candy’s a former acquaintance of mine.”

  “Tori.” Candy glared. “Well, I guess I won’t bother inviting you to drop by later. But give me a call when things get back to normal, okay, Guy? Ta-ta.” She sashayed back to her table after wiggling her fingers and batting her eyelashes.

  “I really should have warned you.” Tori couldn’t stop laughing at the look on Guy’s face. “She’s been trying to get your attention since we got here.”

  “Since you’re still here and laughing I’ll assume I passed that test. Tell me, what did you expect to happen when she came over here?”

  “I wasn’t sure. I really thought you’d be much happier to see her. She seemed insulted when you called her a former acquaintance but not enough to keep her from propositioning you.”

  “An acquaintance is all she ever was. We went out a few times but there wasn’t anything between us.”

  “But she’s beautiful. Even prettier than that woman you were with when we met.”

  “Do you honestly believe that I’m that shallow? Sure, she looks good on the outside but that’s not what does it for me. There wasn’t much else to her which is why we never got to be more than acquaintances. We met in a bar when I stopped for a drink on the way home with some of the guys from the station and she invited me to a benefit party. We went to dinner alone one time after that and I discovered we had nothing to say to each other so I didn’t ask her out again. I also turned her down when she called me.”

  “Guess I was wrong but between her and that other woman and what I heard Barry say…”

  “What did Barry say?”

  “Well, he was talking to Carla and I didn’t hear what she asked but he said something about you being with the flavor of the week so I just assumed that meant you go through a lot of different women.”

  Guy took a deep breath to rein in his temper before he responded. “I admit that I’ve dated a lot. I admit that I didn’t see most of the women more than a few times. I admit that I am sexually experienced. But if you’re assuming I got that experience by sleeping with every woman I dated, you’re very wrong. If you expected me to walk out on you because a woman you consider pretty seemed to know me then you are wrong again. Believe it or not, I’m not the hound you think I am. I treat women with respect or I try to at least. No, I wasn’t polite to Candy but she wasn’t at all polite to us either,” he snorted. “I guess I really was just the most convenient option for you last night after all.” He signaled for the waiter without saying another word and barely waited for her to follow him out of the restaurant.

  They drove back to Tori’s house in complete silence. She had no idea how to approach Guy through the mounting tension surrounding him.

  “Wait here,” Guy snapped coldly when he pulled into her driveway. Still without looking at her, he took the keys and locked the door behind him.

  Tori watched as he quickly checked through the house to ensure it was untouched in the time they were gone. He returned, disengaging the lock and opened her door, taking their boxed dinners from her hand. Inside, he put his in the refrigerator and left hers on the counter. He activated the alarm system with one control unit but kept both to prevent her from trying to sneak out later as he challenged her with a stare.

  “Goodnight,” he said curtly before leaving her standing in the living room alone.

  Tori forced herself to move. Guy’s room was dark by the time she made it upstairs so she decided to turn in as well. It was extremely early but she had no desire to sit up by herself. She felt numb as she replayed the way the evening had ended. Every time she pictured the hurt expression that had been on his face while he defended himself, the lump in her throat grew until she couldn’t stand it.

  Standing in the hall outside his room, she tapped lightly on the open door. “Are you awake?” she asked softly so she wouldn’t disturb him if he was sleeping.

  “Yes.”

  “Can I please come in and talk for a minute?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you mind if I turn on a light?”

  “No.”

  Afraid to face him, Tori chose to switch on the small light on the dresser instead of the one next to the bed. After several deep breaths for courage, she turned toward him but stayed where she was.

  “Well?” Guy prompted when she didn’t speak.

  Tori could feel the hurt radiating from him as easily as she heard it in his voice. “I owe you an apology. I was wrong and I’m sorry.”

  “Fine,” he dismissed her.

  Tori knew he wanted her to go back to her room but instead she had to continue. “I should have stopped you right away before you said all that.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I already knew you aren’t the way I let you make it sound. Other than that one comment, Barry always said good things about you. When I was upset about meeting you instead of Barry, Diana assured me that you were a good man. I did hear you when you were talking about your mom rearing you to be as decent as your dad is and how he helped too.” She finally looked at him and saw he was watching her intently although he had his hands behind his head in what appeared to be a relaxed pose. “I’m so sorry.”

  Guy waited to see if she’d retreat before he moved to hold up the edge of the covers. “You’re shivering. Come here so we can talk about this without your teeth chattering.”

  Tori saw that he expected her to refuse and made herself slide in next to him. She was surprised when he pulled her to his side instead of maintaining the distance she left between them. He sighed as he settled her against his chest with his arms wrapped around her.

  “If you believed I wasn’t all bad then what was that all about? Why did you want me to feel like some self-centered asshole who only paid attention to a woman to see what I could get from her and ditched her as soon as I had? I don’t understand.”

  “I’m sorry, Guy.”

  “Me too. Tori, I’m sorry for blowing up and shutting you out and walking away from you in the restaurant and here without talking to you. What are you sorry for?”

  Tori shook her head against his chest and gulped for air.

  “Come on, Tor.”

  “Just give me a second. I never really said this out loud before.” She let out a humorless laugh. “I never admitted it either, not even to myself. I’m going to screw this up big-time so bear with me, okay?”

  Guy must have sensed how hard it was for Tori to begin so he snuggled her closer. “I’m not going anywhere so take your time.”

  “Thanks. When I told Diana we had a date planned she said some things that got me thinking. Some were the same as she’s always said. Some were specifically about you. See, I told her why I wasn’t sure that we were really interested in each other. I also said I doubted you’d even consider going out with me if you weren’t stuck with me like you are now. I described the woman you were with and insisted there was no way you’d pick someone like me over someone like that.”

  “Tori—”

  “No. Please let me say this.” Guy responded by kissing her forehead. “Diana’s been trying to build my self-esteem for years but I still have a hard time accepting what she says. When I said that, she got a little annoyed and brought up how you might share her opinion instead of mine and actually do like me,” she relayed their conversation before pausing for a deep breath to give herself courage for what she wanted to say next.

  “Diana said that was fine as long as I wasn’t making excuses to stop you from getting too close. Ever since we met, Diana’s been very kind to me. She offered me friendship right from the start and it took me a long time to believe she meant it. Even when I was little I believed that people only wanted to be around each other for what they could get. My parents always took us to the salon with them and paraded us around like little clones, making us look like adults before we even went to school. My brother and sister loved the attention and cou
ldn’t get enough of it. I always tried to hide so I could wipe off the makeup. I hated the way it felt on my face as much as I hated the way being dressed up made me feel inside. They even insisted I keep my hair long so they could show off whatever the latest style was. I got it cut the first day I got here, as soon as I left the library, before I started looking for a place to stay.

  “They always told me I was the plain one, the one who would have to settle for whatever I could get after all the good ones were taken. Diana decided that I don’t let anyone get even moderately close to me because I’m afraid they’ll say the same things as my parents and reject me like they did. If I don’t let anyone get to know me then it won’t hurt when they tell me to get lost.

  “I always denied that and told Diana she had no idea what she was talking about because there was no way I do that. I have a whole list of reasons for why I’m right and she’s wrong. I won’t bother to tell you though because I can’t keep lying to myself. Diana is right about all of it. I was so scared when we walked into the restaurant and I saw that Candy looking at you. After she saw you, she noticed me. She looked at me like I was less than dirt and not worth wasting even half a thought on.

  “I don’t know how I knew what would get to you but I did and I kept picking even though I could see I was hurting you. I knew it but I couldn’t stop because if I did I wouldn’t be able to keep my distance from you and I have to or it will hurt too much when you decide you’re done with me.”

  “Tori—”

  “No.” She was crying. “You’re one of the really, really good ones and I’m so not. Last night was incredible but I know it wasn’t real. No way could that last. Can’t we just chalk it up to circumstances and let me have the memory of what you made me feel being magical instead of drawing this out until you get bored with me? I’m so sorry I hurt you and I shouldn’t have forced you like I did last night. I should never have made that deal with you. I was selfish but I won’t hold you to it so please can’t we pretend it never happened and forget about it?”