Pinned Up (Pinned Up Trilogy)

by C. Michelle

  “How do you feel? What are you thinking? Tell me. Your silence is killing me.” He admits.

  “I’m starving. Can we get something to eat?” I ask hoping to buy time to gather my thoughts.

  “Of course.” He replies.

  We end up having dinner at the Wynn’s buffet. I’m ravenous by the time we get there and fill my plate with food. Both of us avoid discussing the incident that occurred in the Bentley.

  “I’ve missed you.” Josh quietly confesses. “You’re my lady, I can’t fuckin’ lose you.”

  “Please, let’s not do this now.” I beg…even though I want to reply the same and throw myself at him once again. It was a moment of weakness in my part and I don’t feel comfortable talking about it just yet. My spirit feels too weak and vulnerable.

  When we’re done eating, he informs me that he’s going home tonight and is catching the last flight out. He indicates an issue arose at work that requires his full and immediate attention. We head back to the hotel in silence. We say goodbye as he walks me to my suite and agree to see each other once I return home. I thank him for our non-date and for the suite. I don’t allow him to kiss or hug me, afraid that if he does I’ll never let him go again.

  Chapter 10 (Josh)

  Celeste

  I catch the last flight back to San Francisco just in time, heading home I only think of Nina. I can’t believe how much I’ve missed and craved her. Feeling her, caressing her, and being inside of her made that car ride pure ecstasy. Today, she brought back the happiness I’ve been missing since she left me that dreadful day. Now, my only concern is that she’s full of regrets. What will I do if she doesn’t give me another chance? As we said goodbye earlier, she seemed distant.

  Instead of dwelling on negativity, I choose to focus on having an optimistic perspective of my relationship with Nina. She’ll be back tomorrow night and hopefully, she’ll put my mind at ease.

  The next day I wake up anxious, I want Nina to return. Leaving things unresolved between us makes me restless. The best solution for me is to dive into work and completely distract myself; otherwise I’ll just go insane. I send her a quick text letting her know that I miss her. I don’t get a response from her during the remainder of the day.

  The following day, I don’t hear from Nina again. I call her and leave a voicemail message. As soon as I wake up on Saturday morning, I check my phone to see if I have any missed calls or texts from her. Nothing. I recall her mentioning a photo shoot at Pier 39 early in the morning. Since we’ve already established that I have stalker tendencies, I take my ass over there.

  I swear, I’m like gum stuck on her shoe…following her wherever she goes, but I don’t give a FUCK! She’s mine and I’ll do whatever it takes to get her back.

  I park my car as close to Fisherman’s Warf as possible. I walk around searching for my lady. It doesn’t matter that she dropped me like a bad habit, she’s still mine. I’m not giving up on her that easily. As I approach the carousel found at the bay end of Pier 39, I see a vintage Harley-Davidson motorcycle, it’s a turquoise color and has the most beautiful woman posing next to it. She’s breathtaking. She’s wearing a white, retro one piece swimsuit. For some reason, it reminds me of Marilyn Monroe. She has on red heels and a coordinating flower above her right ear. Her perfect wavy hair flows nicely down the left side of her face. Her swimsuit and light skin tone are a nice contrast against the turquoise bike. The photographer snaps several shots. Once he’s finished and is in deep conversation with a woman who appears to be his assistant, I move towards Nina.

  “Hey. So, what type of motorcycle is that exactly?” Is all that comes to mind.

  “It’s a 1949 Harley-Davidson FL Hydra-Glide. What are you doing here?” She asks with confusion set in her expression.

  “I was worried about you. You haven’t returned any of my calls or texts. Besides, I haven’t stalked you lately; it’s been almost a few days now.” I joke with her.

  We get interrupted by the photographer’s assistant. The photo shoot has been relocated and Nina has to leave. She allows me to meet her at the cable car turntable where more pictures will be taken.

  When I get there, the photographer is setting up his equipment. Nina is standing next to one of the trolleys. I approach her. “Why haven’t you returned my calls?” I ask and get to the point.

  “Josh, this isn’t the best time or place to have this conversation.” Nina looks away to avoid eye contact with me. Don’t look away, baby. I’ve missed your beautiful face.

  “Tell me the truth, do you regret what happened in Vegas? Because I don’t. I haven’t been able to get you off my mind.” I admit. “I’m fuckin’ going crazy here thinking about you!” It takes all my will power not to embrace her in my arms.

  Nina lightly caresses the right side of my face. I delight in her delicate touch. “Josh, you and I can never be together again. I don’t trust you. Without trust, there’s nothing. Being with you in Vegas was amazing, but for those same reasons, I’ve returned even more heartbroken than when I left. My feelings for you are stronger than I ever could’ve expected, regardless I don’t want to be with you anymore. Although I have already forgiven you, I will never forget or trust you with my heart. We can try to be friends, but that’s it.” Although, she looks exquisite, her expression is filled with sincere pain. I’ve never seen so much hurt behind her lovely chocolate eyes. It breaks my heart to know I’m the cause of her agony.

  “I love you, Valentina. One day, I’ll earn your trust. I swear it.” I stare at her yearningly, willing her to believe the truth behind my words. She doesn’t.

  Just then, a girl who looks familiar interrupts our conversation as she approaches us. “Oh, my God, Josh! What are you doing here, hun? It’s been so long since I’ve seen you! Damn, you still look mighty fine.” She scans my body from head to toe with a blatant predatory look. She attempts to hug me once she’s close enough. Immediately, I move away from her, not allowing her to touch me with evident disgust as my facial expression.

  This bitch couldn’t have picked a worse time to hang from my nuts. I close my eyes, clench my jaw on reflex, and run my hand through my hair trying my best not to lose the last bit of patience I have left. Too late. I notice Nina begin to walk away; I grab her arm and keep her in place while I give this skank in front of me a piece of my mind. “Check this out, girl. This is my lady, so before you approach me like you know me get your fuckin’ facts straight. You look familiar, so I’m sure I fucked you once upon a time, but you can’t come at me like we’re folks and are still tight. Know your place, you were a one-time fuck and that was it. Don’t portray a picture of us to my lady that isn’t so.”

  The girl’s shocked reaction is from humiliation, not from hurt. Clearly, her ego has never taken such a blow. “Calm down, I just came here to let Nina know that I’m ready to touch up her makeup.” She rolls her eyes at me and walks away.

  “You fucked my makeup artist? Seriously?” Nina’s expression is full of disgust. “I can tell you fucked her a long time ago, but still…it stings.”

  Before I have a chance to discuss the incident with Nina, the photographer approaches us and informs Nina it’s time for her to change into the next ensemble. She leaves without saying a word and enters a trailer that’s being used as a dressing and makeup room. I sit down on some steps and patiently wait. For what? I don’t know. I just know I can’t leave.

  Nina finally exits the trailer and is ready for her next photo shoot. She’s wearing high waisted, hot pink capri pants with a black belt. The halter top she’s wearing is black with white polka dots. She has on black, high heels that only have a strap on the front. With her hair in a high ponytail, she pulls off the retro look perfectly. To my surprise, I hear the photographer state he wants to get on the trolley and take pictures while it’s in route.

  Nina walks over to me. “I have to go. I’m sorry.” And walks away.

  I hit the gym hard to release my frustration, it doesn’t help much. I hea
d home and fall asleep in the afternoon. The last thing I want to think about is my shattered heart. I’m emotionally exhausted and need rest.

  I wake up Sunday morning in a slump. I’ve never slept so much and still feel worse than when I fell asleep. I force myself to go to the office and focus on work. When I return, my mood has gone from melancholy to furious. I’m in a shitty mood and angry at the world. I conclude to give Nina her space and not bother her. I haven’t given up on her, I’m simply allowing time to heal her wounds.

  As I’m at work the next day, Nina calls. “Hey. Are you busy?” She asks.

  “Not for you. What’s up?” I wonder.

  “Ummm…the photographer who took the photo shoot this weekend captured some pictures of you and me talking by the trolley. He really likes them and wants to know if you would be okay with him using them for his website.” She says all in one breath. She sounds nervous.

  “No.” I simply state, but for some reason I sound like a dick.

  “Why not? I’ve worked with him several times. He’s a professional. What’s the big deal?” I can sense Nina starting to get pissed.

  “I can’t really talk right now. Can I go over to your house this evening and explain? If we’re going to try to be friends, I want to be honest with you and build a foundation of trust. So, is it okay if I stop by?” I ask with a mixture of hope and unsteady nerves.

  “Fine. Stop by after work. I’ll see you then.” She hangs up.

  As I approach Nina’s house, I’m nervous. I never know what to expect from her. She always keeps me on my toes. I take a deep breath and knock on the door. She answers and has a surprised look on her face.

  “Hey.” I smile uncertainly.

  “Hi! Oh, wow! Please come in. What a great surprise seeing you here, Celeste and Delia.” Nina immediately gives my mom a hug.

  “They’re my back up. I like to roll with top flight security.” I tease.

  “Hey, sweetie. I hope it’s okay we stopped by. I know you weren’t expecting us, but I think it’s time we have ourselves a little chat.” My mom states as she returns Nina’s hug.

  “Oh, please…You’re always welcomed in this house.” Nina smiles warmly at my mom then turns her attention to Delia.

  “Hola, Delia. I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you for coming.” She embraces Delia as well.

  “Oh, is my pleasure. I bring you somesing, is tamales, quesadilla bread, and other goodies. I hope you enjoy.” I just love Delia’s accent. She’s too cute.

  “Oh, thank you. I definitely will.” Nina genuinely looks thrilled with Delia’s thoughtful gesture.

  Nina leads us to her living room and offers us something to eat and drink. We all politely decline.

  As we make ourselves comfortable in her living room, I decide to get to the point. “Nina, I know you’re probably wondering why we’re all gathered here today. I don’t want to keep anything from you. I want you to one day trust me. You’ve confided in me and now, it’s my turn to open up.” I pause to gather my thoughts. “The reason I don’t want that photographer to put pictures of me on his website is because I’m in hiding.” I notice the confusion clear across Nina’s face.

  “Nina, would you like to hear the story from the beginning?” My mom asks.

  “Yes, please.” Nina quietly responds.

  My mom proceeds to tell her story. “My name is Kaitlyn O’Neill. I used to be an actress in the seventies and early eighties.”

  Nina interrupts. “Oh, my goodness! You’re the actress who disappeared. I thought you looked familiar! When I was younger, my mom and I used to watch all your movies.” Nina has a stunned look on her face. “So sorry. I won’t interrupt again. Please continue.” She apologizes.

  “That’s okay, dear.” My mom lightly taps Nina’s leg. “In 1984, during the shooting of a film in Houston, Texas, I met a man by the name of Damien Montiel. Right away, I was captivated by his presence. He emanated a strong essence of power and with his handsome good looks, he was definitely hard to resist. Although he was a mystery to me, I became enamored with him and his Spanish accent immediately. I hardly knew anything about him, yet I couldn’t wait to see him every time we met. We always stayed in different elite hotels, which I assumed was his way of impressing me. I soon found out I was pregnant. When I told Damien of the news, he began to change. He became more controlling, possessive, jealous, and began demanding that I quit acting. One day, as I was sleeping in our hotel suite, I overheard a conversation Damien was having in Spanish with two men in the living area. I had taken Spanish with my private tutor growing up and my best friend spoke it fluently, so I understood the conversation pretty well. I heard Damien order the two men to kill an informant for treachery and to notify him when the next shipment of mota, which I knew stood for marijuana, would be ready along with the next coca trade, I was aware he was referring to cocaine. At that moment, I felt all my breath leave my lungs, the room began to spin, and I held onto the wall for balance. As I composed myself, I ran to his suitcase and went through his belongings since he was still speaking to both men. I found paperwork and a picture ID with his picture and the name Mateo Blanco on all documents. At that moment, my heart literally stopped. Mateo Blanco was associated with one of the largest drug cartels in the world, Los Blancos Cartel. The only reason I knew this was because my father was a retired DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration) Chief of Operations and I used to overhear his name on several occasions. Blanco had a reputation of being absolutely ruthless. He was determined to quickly climb the hierarchy of his family’s drug organization. With that in mind, I checked his other suitcase and found it filled with several hundred thousand dollars along with two handguns. I closed the suitcase and went back to bed before I was caught. I thought about my options of escape. Since the day I informed him of my pregnancy, he rarely left my side. I knew it would be impossible to leave him, but I didn’t want to raise my baby in such a malicious and corrupt lifestyle. I was left with no alternative, but to escape regardless of the obstacles I’d face. When he entered my room minutes later, he found me asleep, so he thought. While he was in the shower, I changed and grabbed my purse. I checked my wallet that contained my ID and passport, both were gone. He had taken them. As I bent down to look for my shoes, I saw a blanket deep below the bed. I pulled it out, it was heavier than I expected, and noticed the blanket was covering up a stash of high-powered rifles. I knew I would have to hide and start a new life. I grabbed the suitcase full of money and left. I called my father and informed him of the situation. He got ahold of old contacts and urgently placed me in the witness protection program. By the time undercover agents arrived to the hotel room, it was empty. I began my new life with just the clothes on my back and a suitcase full of dirty money.”

  My mom takes a moment to reminisce on her past. “My life as Kaitlyn O’Neill ended and a new one as Deborah Stewart began. All my fame and glory were gone, but I didn’t care. My priority was to protect my unborn baby. The witness protection program sent me to Brunswick, Missouri. After living my new life for five months, I received a call from my father informing me that Mateo Blanco’s men were on their way to get me and that I needed to flee immediately. Apparently, Blanco had several law enforcement agents on his payroll who were able to provide him with my whereabouts. I gathered my money, left, and met my father who provided me with a manila envelope containing my new identity. This time, I was left in the hands of a law enforcement agency my father trusted to follow through on a new plan for me. Instead of staying in a small town like before, I was relocated to San Francisco as Celeste Ryan, it’s been my home ever since.”

  My mom pauses and closes her eyes for a minute. We all remain silent. She continues. “One day, I drove down to Arizona and mailed my parents a letter without a return address informing them that I was okay. I was afraid of mailing it from home, terrified it would be traced back to me. Months later, I called one of my neighbors to check on my parents. I was informed they had been found tortured and slaught
ered in their home a few months back.” My mom wipes away her tears and I put my arm around her to console her.

  She continues with her story and explanation. “I’ve been terrified of Mateo Blanco ever since. He knows I have his son, I may not know much about him, but I do know that he’s full of malice and won’t rest until he gets his revenge on me. As Josh grew older, he became the spitting image of his father, with a few exceptions. There’s no way Mateo won’t recognize Josh if the day were to come when he sees his son. Hopefully, now you understand why I didn’t allow Josh to play professional baseball. For him to remain inconspicuous was not a reality if he were to be in the spotlight. It should also bring light to why pictures of him on the internet, simply drive this old woman in a panic. I’m sure I don’t need to reiterate the severity of keeping my story confidential. If my son believes you to be such a friend that he wants to disclose our intimate secrets with you, then you have my trust and respect.” My mom grabs Nina’s hand and cups it between hers. She smiles at Nina lovingly.

  “Thank you, Celeste for entrusting your private past with me, I won’t speak of it to anyone. You have my word.” Nina appears sincere. I believe her.

  “Thank you, dear. Now, it’s time for Delia and me to leave and allow you and my son to converse in private. We brought separate cars, so it shouldn’t be a problem.” My mom and Delia begin to gather their things.

  “You don’t have to leave, Celeste. Josh and I can talk later.”

  “I’m tired, sweetie. It’s best I leave now.” My mom gets up and gives Nina a hug.

  “Nina, let me tell you somesing, you will have to visit me soon. I hope you enjoy the food.” Delia smiles at Nina tenderly.

  “Thank you both for coming and bringing me treats. I’ll definitely enjoy devouring your delicious food, Delia.” Nina states as she walks both ladies to the door.