The bishop looked at Hannah who nodded. He went on. "There is but one judge, and that is Gott. Unforgiveness is a form of judgment. Every time you feel anger, forgiveness, or resentment, you at once must give it to Gott, even if it is many times in the one day, even if it is many times, day after day."
Hannah finally spoke. "It does seem easy when you put it that way."
The bishop smiled. "It is easy, Hannah. It is easy because there is no other way. You must forgive, and you must hand over your resentment to Gott, again and again if necessary."
"Denki. Denki so much. I wish I’d come to you sooner."
The bishop smiled a wry smile. "Perhaps you should have listened to the ministers who say this all the time."
Hannah felt shamefaced, but looked up to see the bishop smiling at her again.
"Now, before we pray, is there anything else you would like to speak to me about?" He smiled encouragingly.
Hannah hesitated. She had been going to tell the bishop that she was conflicted with her feelings for Noah, her feelings of love for him while at the same time having feelings of resentment for him. Yet now that she had released her sin of unforgiveness to Gott, there was no conflict in her heart any more.
"Nee, denki," she said slowly. "I think that it is all okay now."
The bishop smiled. "Gut. Then let us pray."
After prayer, the bishop showed Hannah to the door. "Remember, Hannah," he said, "No matter how great our sins or our problems, Gott will always show us the way home."
"Denki," Hannah said meekly.
As she walked down the porch steps, she heard the bishop say, "Liebe macht erfinderisch." Love will find a way.
Hannah looked back. Did the bishop know about her feelings for Noah?
2 Corinthians 2:10-11.
10 Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, 11 so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.
Chapter 14 .
Hannah felt physically lighter ever since she had spoken to the bishop. The bishop's words had hit home and she had handed over all her unforgiveness to Gott. In fact, looking back, she wondered why she'd ever had unforgiveness in her heart in the first place. Of course, as Hannah thought with a chuckle, she was physically lighter as well due to the fact that her cast had been removed.
Hannah had hoped to come across Noah ever since she had spoken to the bishop, but the next Sunday meeting wasn't until the Sunday after the coming one, and Noah had not gone into his mudder's quilt shop again, at least not while Hannah was there. She spent much of her time daydreaming about what would happen when she saw him again.
Hannah had also escaped the unpleasantness of spending another day with Mrs. Yoder at the schoolhouse, as Mary Knepp had recovered sooner than expected and was back teaching the school children. Hannah returned home one night after her morning in the quilt shop followed by a visit to Rebecca in the hospital. Hannah was in high spirits as Rebecca was improving far better than the doctors had hoped, and was expected to be discharged soon.
However, her mood soon changed. As she was helping her mudder prepare dinner, her mudder turned to her. "Now listen, Hannah. Beth Yoder has invited you for dinner tomorrow night."
"Nee, Mamm!" Hannah's eyes went wide. "Please, I told you that I don’t like David Yoder at all." Hannah considered telling her mudder that David had tried to kiss her, but then decided against it. Beth Yoder was a close friend of her mudder's, and Hannah didn’t want to say anything that might put a strain on that relationship.
Mrs. Miller held up her hand. "Nee, Hannah, listen. I don't think it’s like that at all. We didn’t discuss it, but I think Beth has realized that you feel uncomfortable around her son David. She liked speaking to you the day you both taught together and wants to stay friends with you. In fact, she hasn't even invited you to her own home for dinner."
"She hasn't?" Hannah was puzzled.
"Nee. She's invited you to a restaurant."
"A restaurant?" Hannah parroted. Mr. and Mrs. Yoder were known to be stricter than the other members of the Amish community to which the Millers belonged. In fact, Jessie Miller always wore her bonnet over her kapp in public, without exception.
"Jah."
"That seems a bit strange, Mamm." Hannah had an uneasy feeling. Why on earth would Beth Yoder want to meet her at a restaurant? She didn’t think the Yoders even approved of Englisch restaurants. Perhaps Beth was going to attempt to talk her into dating David?
Mrs. Miller simply shrugged, and continued the preparation of dinner.
* * *
Hannah sat in the restaurant, looking around at the other patrons. She was the only Amish person there, although she knew that some of the other members of her community did on occasion eat at this restaurant. The clock on the wall showed that Mrs. Yoder was late. The table for two had been reserved, and Hannah had taken the seat facing the entrance so that Mrs. Yoder would find her more easily.
Hannah studied the menu while she was waiting, and decided she would order chicken pot pie with a side of chow chow, or perhaps something with mashed potatoes, pepper slaw, and creamed celery.
Mrs. Yoder's full of surprises, Hannah thought. I know Amish cooks don't work here, but Amish cooks do work at the other restaurant just a block from here. Plus this restaurant's more one suited to dating couples, rather than for friends - the other one's more suited to that. I wonder why she chose this one?
Hannah shrugged and looked at her surroundings. The lighting was dimmed, and the walls were a pale, golden amber that reflected the soft glow of the candlelight from the ornate candles on each table. The napkins, by way of contrast, were a deep burgundy.
Hannah looked at the door once again. There was still no sign of Mrs. Yoder. Had her mamm got the restaurant's name right? Yes, Hannah thought, there was a reservation here in the name of Yoder.
"Hannah." The voice was masculine; it was not Mrs. Yoder's voice at all.
Hannah looked up into the face of David Yoder.
"David!" Hannah realized she had said the word with some horror, but didn't really care. "What are you doing here?"
David sat down in the chair opposite Hannah's. "Mamm said to say sorry; she can’t come, so she's sent me instead."
It all became obvious to Hannah. This was a set-up; Mrs. Yoder had never had any intention of having dinner with her. It had simply been a ploy to get Hannah to have dinner with David.
Hannah abruptly stood up. "I’ll be leaving then, David."
"Nee, nee," David said, his brows meeting in a frown. "I wanted to have dinner with you to apologize anyway. Please, will you forgive me for my behavior, Hannah?"
Hannah's heart softened and she sat back down. Perhaps Gott was testing her over the matter of forgiveness. She had forgiven Noah, and now she had to forgive David too. Besides, it was a public place, and he was hardly going to try to kiss her again here.
"Jah, I forgive you, David. However, I will only agree to have dinner with you if you understand that I will not be dating you - not now, not ever." Hannah thought that came out a little harshly, but she didn’t want to lead him on.
Hannah saw something that looked like a momentary flash of anger pass across David's face, but then he agreed. "Jah, jah. I'm so happy you've forgiven me, Hannah." He smiled a wide smile, which Hannah thought looked quite fake and insincere. Nevertheless, she had learned her lesson about forgiveness and was determined to follow through. She would be gracious and have dinner with David Yoder.
However, instead of pleasant conversation, David bombarded Hannah with questions - who had she dated in the past, was she interested in anyone now, how long did she intend to work for Mrs. Hostetler. Hannah managed to deflect all the questions, but with some difficulty. David also criticized Noah Hostetler, but Hannah did not respond, as she figured he did so only to draw some kind of reaction from her. He did not ask how her leg was, or ask after h
er schweschders.
"What time did you say the taxi was calling for you?" David asked between courses.
"Eight thirty, David. That's the second time you've asked."
David smiled. "I'm just looking out for you, Hannah. I wouldn't want you to miss your ride, with you relying on taxis given how you feel about buggies and all. Do you think you'll have time for dessert after all?"
"Jah, I sure will." If Hannah was going to be forced to wait until eight thirty in David's company, she was going to do her best to enjoy it, and that was going to mean eating dessert. "Besides," she said aloud, "if I did miss that taxi, I’d simply call another."
Hannah noted the look of worry on David's face. Why is he so keen to have me leave at eight thirty? she wondered. "I will be leaving at eight thirty, anyway," she said, more to herself than to David. "If the dessert is late coming, I will simply not eat all of it."
David nodded with clear relief. "You are a beautiful woman, Hannah," he said, at the same time reaching across and patting her hand.
Hannah looked up in shock, and to her horror, looked straight into the eyes of Noah Hostetler. They held each other's gaze for a moment, and Hannah was so surprised that she did not think to snatch her hand away until Noah had turned on his heel and left the restaurant.
What have I done? Hannah's heart thumped loudly and her throat tightened. Noah will think I'm dating David Yoder.
As if through a mist, she vaguely heard David order hot apple fritters with ice cream. "And you, miss?"
Hannah looked up at the waitress. "Shoo-fly pie, please," she said automatically.
David peered into her face. "Have I upset you?"
"Nee, well, not exactly, David. But you mustn't say things like that. And please do not touch my hand again."
David simply nodded and looked around the room, and then at his watch. Hannah was surprised to see that he was wearing a watch, as she knew that Mr. and Mrs. Yoder did not approve of them. It looked like a fancy watch too.
Hannah was only able to have a mouthful or two of the shoo-fly pie, as her stomach was churning. She had finally forgiven Noah and come to terms with her feelings for him, but now he no doubt thought she was dating David. Then another thought occurred to her. What was Noah doing here anyway? Was he meeting someone, perhaps a girl? Was it true that he was seeing Englisch girls after all?
Hannah sank into the depths of despair. Despite being seated close to the roaring fire, she felt a chill run through her veins.
Finally, the clock on the wall told her it was eight twenty-five. "Thank you, David; I'll be going now."
David made to rise but Hannah waved him down. She had no wish for him to wait outside with her. She didn’t want a repeat performance of the incident in the barn the other week. "Nee, David; stay and finish your dessert. The taxi will be here for me any moment."
To her relief, he readily agreed. Hannah hurried outside to see that the taxi had just pulled up. She slid into the seat with a sigh as she released all her pent-up tension. Hannah had made up her mind to tell her parents about David, how he had tried to kiss her. That was the only way to stop dinners being arranged behind her back - in fact, it would put a sure stop to all matchmaking ideas of Mrs. Yoder's as well as her mudder's.
The taxi driver looked over his shoulder at Hannah. "If you’re not in a hurry, miss, could you wait five minutes? I have another ride booked for eight thirty-five - she lives near you."
"Sure, that's fine." Hannah didn’t mind at all. The taxi was warm, and besides, it gave her the opportunity to think about what she would say to her parents. It might even give her time to think how she could put things right with Noah, if that were even possible.
Hannah was looking out the window of the taxi when she saw David come out of the restaurant. He stood there, looking around. Hannah sunk back in the seat, and was relieved that David hadn't caught sight of her. Just then a short, shapely, Englisch girl hurried over to him. She was wearing a short skirt and an abundance of jewelry. She flung her arms around David's neck and kissed him hard.
Hannah's jaw dropped open. She couldn’t stop staring, despite her shock at the scene unfolding in front of her. David and the Englisch girl were embroiled in a lengthy, passionate embrace right there on the street. He must've been pretending to be interested in me just to throw his mudder off the track, Hannah thought with astonishment.
* * *
Noah hurried away from the restaurant. His worst fears appeared to have come true; his beloved Hannah was having dinner with David Yoder. Why, the mann even had his hand on Hannah's and she didn't look as if she minded. What on earth was going on?
Matthew 6:12-14.
12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Chapter 15 .
Hannah's mudder looked up, pleased with herself. "How was dinner, Hannah? Did you have a gut time?"
Hannah took off her thick coat and looked around. "No, Mamm, not at all. Are Esther and Martha asleep?"
Her daed nodded. "Jah."
"I’d like to talk to you both, please?"
Her parents exchanged glances. Hannah walked over to the table and sat down. "Mrs. Yoder did not show up. Instead, David Yoder came."
"He did?" Her daed looked straight at Mrs. Miller, who avoided his gaze.
Hannah pressed on. "Jah, Mrs. Yoder had no intention of coming; David admitted as much."
Mrs. Miller spoke up. "Hannah, why won’t you give David a chance?"
Hannah shook her head at her mudder, frustrated. "You don't understand, Mamm. It's not just that I've never felt anything for David, it’s that…" Her voice trailed away.
"Go on, Hannah," her daed said, with encouragement in his voice.
"Well, I didn't want to say before, Mamm, as you’re close friends with Mrs. Yoder, but David tried to kiss me in the Yoders' barn after I was over there for dinner."
Mr. Miller looked shocked, but Mrs. Miller asked, "Are you sure?"
"I could hardly mistake something like that, Mamm. Plus it was the second time he tried. This time he tried much harder than the first time; I had to slam my crutches on his foot to get away from him."
Mr. Miller gasped and Mrs. Miller's hand flew to her mouth.
"Not only that, when I left tonight, I was sitting in the taxi while the driver was waiting for someone else, and I saw David kissing an Englisch girl," Hannah continued. "He was kissing her right in the street, in front of everyone. I mean they were really kissing each other. Plus she barely had any clothes on, even in this weather."
Her parents' jaws dropped open. "Are you sure?" her mudder asked.
"Of course she's sure, Rachel." Mr. Miller shook his head. "You've done the right thing in telling us, Hannah. There will be no more matchmaking attempts; I can assure you of that." He looked at Mrs. Miller when he said that.
Hannah looked at her Mamm to see her reaction, and to her relief, she nodded. "Nee, Hannah, of course not. I won't mention this to Beth, but I'll certainly make sure that you do not have to suffer David Yoder again."
"Denki, Mamm."
"I'll make you a nice hot cup of meadow tea and fetch you some whoopie pies."
Mrs. Miller hurried off to the kitchen. Hannah knew that her mudder was sorry for her part in this, and trying to make it up to her with food, which was her way of showing affection.
When her mudder was out of earshot, Mr. Miller spoke to Hannah in a conspiratorial tone. "I sent Noah to that restaurant tonight to deliver the two oak, bow backed, high chairs for children that they'd ordered. Did you happen to see him there?"
Oh great, now both my parents are matchmakers, Hannah thought. Aloud she said, "Jah, and he saw me having dinner with David Yoder."
"Oh." Mr. Miller looked crestfallen.
That night, Hannah tossed and turned in bed. Will I ever get a
good night's sleep? she asked herself. On the one hand, David Yoder was not going to be a problem for her anymore, but on the other hand, Noah clearly thought that there was something going on between her and David. No doubt he would find out in time, but would that be too late? And what if Noah had no feelings for her any more? What if he never did have any feelings for her in the first place?
Hannah sat up, put the pillow over her face and lay back down. She sent up a silent and urgent prayer to Gott to ask Him to help her.
The next day, Hannah arrived to work at Katie Hostetler's quilt shop. Katie Hostetler met her at the door, clearly excited. "Hannah, yesterday I sold your double wedding ring quilt."
When Katie named the price, Hannah gasped. "Oh denki, Mrs. Hostetler. That will be a big help to my familye."
Katie took a long look at Hannah. "Are you all right? You look like you could do with a mug of kaffi. Come on through; we have time before we open for the day."
"Denki, Katie." Hannah followed Mrs. Hostetler through to the little room at the back of the shop.
Katie poured Hannah a mug of kaffi, and then sat down opposite her. "Hannah, are you sure you're not sad about selling your double wedding ring quilt? You should have kept it for your marriage."
Hannah shook her head. "Nee, Katie. I don’t think I'll ever get married." The words were out before Hannah could stop them. She had forgotten for a moment that Katie was Noah's mudder. Thankfully, Katie did not question her, and the two sat in uncomfortable silence while they drank their kaffis.
Later, Katie went out to run an errand and Hannah was busy piecing a quilt on the foot-operated, treadle sewing machine. She had just stopped to fill a bobbin when she heard the door open. Hannah stood up and looked at the mann who had just entered.
To her surprise, it was Noah. "Hullo, Noah," she stammered, as she stood up.
"Hiya, Hannah."
The two just stood there looking at each other. Hannah studied Noah's eyes for any sign of affection for her, but all she could detect was the intensity behind his expression. She had no idea what it meant.
The Amish Millers Get Married BOXED SET Books 1-3 (Amish Romance Book Bundle: The Way Home, The Way Forward, The Narrow Way) (Boxed Set: Amish Millers Get Married) Page 7
