Decidedly Off Limits

by Stina Lindenblatt

  “Good. I’m starving and have a major craving for french fries. I’ll meet you in the food court. And be prepared to give me details about your date.”

  I inwardly groaned, suspecting she would grill me on how it went. But maybe then I wouldn’t have to kill her brother.

  She’d do it for me.

  “Oooh. Is that your boyfriend?” Chloe asked after I ended the call, and made kissy noises.

  “Didn’t I tell you that I don’t have one?”

  “And that’s why you need my help.”

  I could feel my eyebrows jump up my forehead. “Your help?”

  “Yes, my help. You’re pretty and you need a boyfriend.”

  I choked back a laugh. It was like talking to a six-year-old version of Erin, but with curly red hair instead of it being straight and brown. “And how exactly are you gonna help me?” I tossed another beanbag at her. She caught it. Just.

  “I was watching the Disney Princess movies, and now I’m a pro when it comes to getting a boyfriend.”

  “Oh, you are, are you?”

  She responded with an I-mean-business nod and threw the beanbag back at me. “It’s simple. You just have to kiss your true love.”

  Immediately my thoughts went to Trent.

  Nothing will ever happen between you and him, I reminded myself. Maybe in another universe it might’ve worked out between us, but too many elements were working against us in this one.

  As I walked to my car after finishing work for the day, my phone pinged. Are you still mad at me? I didn’t recognize the number.

  Who is this?

  Trent. Why, are you mad at other people too?

  Yeah, my brother. Maybe.

  Maybe your date from Friday?

  Before I could respond, he sent another text. Have you heard from him yet?

  It’s only been 3 days.

  What, is he scaling Everest?

  Based on what Stephen had talked about on Friday, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was scaling Mount Everest.

  Ha ha! What about the 3 day rule? I replied.

  What 3 day rule?

  The rule where you don’t phone the girl for 3 days so not to come off as desperate.

  I followed the text with another one. Aren’t you supposed to be working, Mr. Workaholic?

  Yes, but I wanted to see how you’re doing.

  That was the same Trent I’d known for as long as I could remember. He used to come to my house all the time to hang out with Liam. Sometimes he’d get there before my brother showed up. Instead of going home and waiting for Liam, he’d ask me about my day, give advice to whatever problem I was dealing with at the time (which in retrospect wasn’t always the greatest advice), and I’d listen to him talk about his day. Even before I started crushing on Trent, I’d sometimes (often) willed my brother to come home late, just so I could get in more alone time with him.

  I’m fine, I typed, but do me a favor.

  What?

  Next time I’m on a date, please DO NOT crash it.

  He didn’t answer immediately, so I figured that was the end of the discussion and he’d gone back to work. A few minutes later I received another text from him. So you want a second date with him?

  I didn’t say that.

  So you don’t want to go out with him again?

  I sighed. Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Except I was only now realizing that.

  My car sat at the far end of the staff parking lot. I’d just opened the door when Trent sent me another text. How come you don’t want to go out with him?

  Wow, what was with all the questions about my date? Oh, yeah. My brother.

  I wouldn’t be surprised if Trent was writing a report on this for Liam, like I was a company he analyzed for his job.

  I don’t know. I just didn’t see it going far. Other than some fun under the sheets for one night.

  Which I never got to experience in the end.

  Trent never responded to the text, not that there was anything to say. I had made his job that much easier. His report for my brother? Completed in triplicate. The Viking had been my only prospect for a relationship, unless I wanted to go out with someone who didn’t like ice cream.

  And that was never going to happen.

  I drove to the mall and met Erin at the food court. She had already bought a large order of fries and was sitting at a table, eating them.

  “I swear I’m going to give birth to a giant french fry.” She stuffed another one in her mouth. “I didn’t even like fries until I got pregnant.”

  I giggled. “And you probably won’t be able to stand the sight of them by the time you give birth.”

  She huffed. “I hope you’re right. God, at this rate I’ll be incredibly fat by the time the baby comes.”

  I reached into the bag and helped myself to a fry. “No, you won’t,” I said, pointing it at her. “You’ll look just as adorable and as hot as you did before.” I stuffed the fry in my mouth.

  After she’d finished her snack, we wandered through the mall, stopping at whatever store caught our interest. We weren’t looking for anything specific. I just wasn’t ready to go back to my lonely house.

  We entered Victoria’s Secret and checked out their thongs. I held up a light pink satin one. “Um, this looks comfy.”

  The corner of Erin’s mouth quirked up. “Yeah, if you like dental floss stuck between your butt cheeks.”

  “And yet guys get hardons just thinking about women wearing these.”

  “That’s because they don’t have to wear them. They might feel differently if they were the ones with the fabric stuck up their asses. Could you imagine them stuffing their junk in this?”

  Ugh. I’d prefer not to, thank you very much.

  I put the pink thong down and picked up a purple one.

  “You must have another hot date with that guy Trent and I saw you with Friday night,” a familiar Australian accent said behind me.

  I whipped around, thong dangling from my finger. Holly was smiling, shopping bags in hand. “Actually I don’t,” I said. “We were just checking them out.” I had already told Erin how my date with Stephen had gone, both as to why he hadn’t been right for me and how her brother had sabotaged the date.

  Holly scanned the colorful pile and picked up a forest green pair. “I love thongs. I don’t know what it is about them, but they make me feel sexy.”

  I barely held back a snort. She was the epitome of sexy. She didn’t need thongs for that.

  “Really?” Erin said, eyeing the pile. She grabbed a black and red pair, then looked at me. “Hey, I can use all the help I can get.” She scanned the pile again and pulled out the pink pair I’d been examining. “Here, you can use all the help you can get, too.”

  I blinked. What the heck?

  “You’ve always been confident, Kelsey,” she went on to explain. “But when it comes to projecting a level of sexiness that drives guys wild, it wouldn’t hurt you to dial it up a few notches.”

  She selected another thong, black this time, shoved it at me, and grabbed my wrist. “C’mon, Holly and I are gonna find you some equally sexy bras to go with those.” She dragged me to the racks of bras and searched through them. For some reason I didn’t protest. Maybe because I knew there was no point trying. “You’re a thirty-eight C, right?” she asked.

  Holly looked me over. “That sounds about right.” Apparently she had another skill I didn’t know about. Was there anything this woman couldn’t do? Other than laugh without making people cringe.

  Twenty minutes later, we walked out of the store, with me now well stocked when it came to sexy lingerie. According to them, this was part of the makeover to create a new sexually confident me.

  “You’re not expecting me to wear these to work, right?” I asked.

  “Is there a chance you could meet someone worth dating there?” Holly responded.

  “Not really. And maybe I’m not ready to date after all. I only just broke up with Owen.”

&
nbsp; Erin looped her arm with mine as the three of us headed to the restaurant for dinner. Darren was away for a conference, so she didn’t have to go home right away. And I was positive Mr. Kitty Whiskers was napping, not pining for my return any time soon.

  “You dumped him six months ago, and you weren’t in love with him,” she pointed out. “So don’t even try to tell me you’re still dealing with a broken heart.”

  I grunted. “I was in love with him.”

  “No, you weren’t. You were in love with the idea of having someone there for you, but he wasn’t there for you. And he hadn’t been there for you for over two years.”

  No, I didn’t sound pathetic and needy at all. But she was right. Until she said it, I had ignored the truth all that time.

  “Do you think if I’d been sexy, things would’ve been different?” This wasn’t the first time I’d felt that way. If I had worn sexy underwear and been sexually confident, would he have spent more time with me than at the office?

  “Owen is a self-absorbed ass. So no, sexy clothing wouldn’t have made a difference to him. He only cares about his career.”

  So all I needed was to find a guy who was neither a self-absorbed ass, nor a workaholic.

  “Well, since the perfect candidate for the position hasn’t applied yet,” I reminded her. “I think we can agree that my dating life is non-existent…and that won’t improve anytime soon.”

  We entered the restaurant. Several people were waiting just inside the door to be seated.

  “At least you’ve got Darren,” I said to Erin, then looked at Holly. “And aren’t you dating Trent? You guys don’t know how lucky you both are.”

  Holly opened her mouth to speak at the same time the hostess asked how many people were in our party.

  “Three,” I replied. She checked her seating chart, grabbed three menus, and told us to follow her.

  It wasn’t until we were seated at the table by the window and the hostess had left that Holly said, “I’m not dating Trent.”

  “You’re not?” I said, slightly stunned. After Friday night, I’d been certain there was maybe something going on between them…and they hadn’t been at the restaurant to discuss work after all. That Trent had changed his mind about not dating her. No one dressed like Holly had been that night just to hang out with their co-worker.

  She shook her head. “Don’t get me wrong. I would love to be his girlfriend. But so far he sees me as nothing more than his friend and colleague.” She perused the menu. “That doesn’t mean I’ve given up on him, though. I just need to be patient and hopefully he’ll eventually see me as something more.”

  I wasn’t sure which was worse: Holly being his girlfriend or hoping to be his girlfriend. At least if she was already dating him, that meant he was taken and I had no chance with him—not that I had a chance with him either way. Now that it looked like she could become Erin’s and my friend, it meant we were supposed to help her land the guy of her dreams. Wasn’t that what friends did? Wasn’t that why Erin was so determined to help me find Mr. Right?

  Swallowing back my feelings for Trent, I smiled at Holly. “I’m sure he eventually will.” Each word felt like barbed wire clawing its way up my throat.

  But why wouldn’t he eventually come to his senses—or at least open his eyes to the possibility of him and Holly becoming romantically involved? They both worked in the same office and were both workaholics. The only reason Holly had been at the mall was because she needed to buy a birthday present for her mom. Otherwise she would’ve been at work with Trent. And while his workaholic status would’ve been an issue if he and I were involved, it wouldn’t be for them. At least whenever they needed a quick breather, they could have hot office sex long after their colleagues had gone home for the day.

  My heart pinched painfully at the picture I painted in my head of their hot office sex. You know the kind, where the man shoves everything off the desk and takes the woman right there.

  The kind of sex every woman fantasizes about…even if she refuses to admit it to herself.

  “Can I get you ladies a drink?” a sinfully deep male voice asked, thankfully breaking into my I-freaking-need-to-have-sex-soon thoughts.

  Too bad the sinfully deep voice didn’t help my dilemma.

  I looked up from my menu. “I’ll have a strawberry margarita.” I needed something to numb the image of Holly and Trent now taking residence in my head. And of course, Holly’s new thongs played a starring role.

  Erin and Holly ordered the same—Erin’s being a virgin. We also ordered our food, not that I cared about food at this point. I just needed the drink. And if I hadn’t driven to the mall and I didn’t have to work tomorrow, I would’ve skipped the food and just ordered drinks.

  The waiter left to fetch our margaritas.

  “He’s hot,” Erin said, nodding over my shoulder. I turned to see if she was talking about the waiter or if she had seen someone else.

  Yep, it was still the waiter.

  “Hey, the last I heard, you’re married,” I said, dryly.

  “One, I’m married not dead. Two, I’m a hormonal mess and incredibly horny all the time. So even though I won’t act on it, I will notice hot guys. And three, I was thinking about him for you.”

  She winked—and I knew right then I was in trouble.

  Again.

  9

  Trent

  Well-known fact #1: men hate admitting to themselves when they’re wrong. Just ask any female. We would rather have our eyeballs gouged from our head and fed to a great white shark than admit the truth to ourselves.

  But shit happens—and it doesn’t matter who’s wrong and who isn’t, it comes down to doing what’s right.

  And messing up Kelsey’s love life was the right thing to do. She deserved better than the asshat from Friday, a fact her brother would’ve agreed with.

  Pushing aside thoughts of whom she could possibly deserve, I returned my attention to the presentation I was preparing for tomorrow’s meeting. But as much as I tried to focus on the numbers, thoughts of Kelsey popped into my head. Like the way she looked in her dress on Friday, with her deep cleavage that I wanted to explore with my tongue.

  Yeah, I know—the irony wasn’t lost on me at how I’d been pissed at the jerk-off for having the same thoughts I currently entertained. The difference between us was that I wouldn’t follow through with my lust-filled thoughts. I wouldn’t hurt Kelsey. Could he claim the same?

  Yep, I didn’t think so either.

  I spent the next hour analyzing numbers. One of the best things about working long after everyone else had left for the day was that no one was around to interrupt me. No one was phoning or emailing me, demanding my instant attention. Normally Holly would’ve been here, but she’d left hours ago to shop for her mom’s birthday present.

  I was finishing the final points to the presentation when a knock on my open office door startled me.

  “Hey, how’s it going?” Holly entered, a Victoria’s Secret bag dangling from her hand.

  “You got your mom sexy lingerie?” Christ, I couldn’t imagine doing that for my mom. That was wrong on so many levels.

  Holly shook her head and removed two satin thongs—one dark green, the other black—from the bag. “I got these for me. What do you think?” She held up the black one with both hands.

  “Nice,” I said, squirming slightly. We were friends, but unless the guy was gay, this wasn’t the type of conversation you had with your male friends—except if you were hoping to get laid.

  “I bumped into your sister and Kelsey there. They got some too.”

  I immediately blocked out the part about Erin. TMI. Instead, visions of Kelsey in nothing more than a black thong danced in my head.

  And my cock instantly responded. I discreetly adjusted myself, unseen by Holly thanks to the desk. No point in her guessing where my lust-filled thoughts were when it came to my best friend’s sister.

  “I really like Erin and Kelsey,” she said. “T
hey’re nice.”

  “Erin can be a bit of a pain in the ass at times, but other than that, you’re right. They are…nice.” If only my thoughts about Kelsey were on the nice side too. But with memories of the black thong flashing in my head, they leaned more toward naughty than nice.

  “We had dinner together, which is why I’m so late getting back to the office.” She grinned. “Did you miss me?”

  “Of course. Did you have fun?” Did Kelsey mention me?

  Holly nodded. “We even managed to get Kelsey another date.” She dangled the thong in the air again. “I think I’ll go slip this on.” She said something else, but I was too busy seeing stars to hear what it was.

  “Okay,” I mumbled, biting back the urge to call my sister and ream her out. What the hell was she thinking after the last disaster of a date?

  I was so busy fuming on the inside about the date, I hadn’t noticed Holly leave my office until I looked up and discovered she was gone. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Erin’s number.

  Before she had a chance to say anything, I blurted, “What’s this about you getting Kelsey another date?” I cringed as soon as the words were out. The last thing I needed was for Erin to know how I felt about her best friend.

  As it was, it had taken her a long time to forgive me for what happened with her crazy classmate back in college.

  A mistake I still regretted to this day.

  A mistake I had made after returning home for the summer, ready to make a move on Kelsey now that we were older and the age difference didn’t seem so great…only to find out she had a boyfriend.

  You guessed it. Her now ex-fiancé.

  What about Liam, you ask? This was back before I realized making a move on my best friend’s sister wasn’t okay. Blame it on my horny hormones, if you must.

  “And hello to you too,” Erin said.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled.

  She chuckled. “I’m sure you are. Anyway, what’s wrong with me finding Kelsey another date? Her last one was a flop, but it doesn’t mean the poor girl has to remain single for the rest of her life.”

  If I couldn’t be with Kelsey in the way that I wanted, then yeah, I thought her remaining single was a great option. “So who is this guy?”