Decidedly Off Limits

by Stina Lindenblatt

  “You really don’t know?”

  I shook my head.

  “Let’s just say Michaela was crazy, and after what happened with her, Erin said she would disown any of her friends if they went out with you.”

  Oh. I just figured she would kill me. I had no idea she had placed an actual ban on me. Which meant it didn’t matter to my sister (and probably Liam) that I hadn’t slept with another woman in over two months. Not since Kelsey had stepped back into my life again without trying to avoid me. As far as Erin was concerned, I was the forbidden fruit—so to speak.

  “All right. But if we’re doing this”—I pointed to Kelsey then to myself—“it has to be exclusive. No tennis pro, no Josh, and no other men.”

  She laughed, which wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. “How much free time do you think I have?”

  I shrugged because I really had no idea. The concept of free time was foreign to me.

  “The same goes for you,” she said. “And we can’t do anything until you’ve squared things with Holly. I know you guys aren’t involved, but it doesn’t feel right for her to think she has a chance with you when I’m the one sleeping with you.” Without waiting for a reply, she turned toward the path and continued walking.

  “All right. I’ll deal with Holly.” I hiked after her. “And just so you know, I haven’t been with anyone in a while.”

  “Really? Well, if it makes you feel any better, I can guarantee your dry spell isn’t as long as mine—if we don’t count the gold medal winner of sprint fucking.”

  And I didn’t. The guy was a goddamn idiot.

  “How long are we talking about?” From what I remembered, she dumped her asshole of a fiancé over six months ago. So yeah, she “won” that competition.

  “Well, before him, the last time I had sex was with Owen over fifteen months ago.”

  I stopped abruptly. What the fuck? How the hell did the asswipe manage to be with Kelsey that long without sex? That would mean they were together for the last nine months of their relationship without having sex once during that time? What was he—gay?

  If she were mine, I couldn’t go three days without tasting her. Anything beyond that and I was positive I’d go insane. And even three days was pushing things.

  As it were, if we hadn’t been in an area popular with hikers, and if the issue of Holly wasn’t hanging over us, I would’ve taken Kelsey deeper into the woods and ended her fucking hiatus.

  “The guy was an idiot,” I said. “Glad you dumped him. You definitely deserve more than that tool.”

  She smiled and kept walking, picking up her pace. “You’re right. I do,” she called over her shoulder as my phone rang.

  I checked who was calling. Dad?

  “Hey, what’s up?” I asked him.

  “You remember how I promised your mother I would renovate the kitchen?”

  “Not really,” I said, watching Kelsey’s fine ass walk away from me. The fine ass that I would be exploring (along with her other body parts) in a few hours.

  “Well I did, and now I need your help with it. It’ll be like the old days, when you used to help me fix things around the house.” Meaning a late night, with beer and pizza afterward.

  And hanging out with my father.

  Who had just earned the new title of cockblocker.

  But cockblocker or not, I couldn’t say no to him. Helping him out with the renovations was the least I could do after everything he and Mom had done for me over the years.

  Now I just had to hope that once the renovations were finished, nothing else stood in the way of me finally getting to experience Kelsey in the way I’d craved for as long as I could remember.

  21

  Kelsey

  For some people, being a member of an exclusive country club was the ultimate status symbol. It was a goal they strived for, even when they couldn’t afford it.

  Me? I was the exact opposite. Possessing a country club membership meant nothing to me.

  But as I pulled into the club’s parking lot, I was once again reminded why I didn’t belong here. All the vehicles, other than my poor baby, were high priced, much like Trent’s BMW. I didn’t belong here. I knew that, my car knew that, but try telling it to Holly.

  Holly met me at the front entrance, wearing an adorable white tennis outfit. My outfit wasn’t quite so adorable. I wore the black shorts I usually ran in and a white T-shirt with a cute owl on it. Even my sneakers weren’t meant for tennis. They were the ones I ran in. Yes, I was better suited for running on a track than chasing a tennis ball around the court.

  Again, try telling that to Holly.

  Besides, the only place I really wanted to be right now was the camera store. After yesterday’s hike, I had checked out a dozen or so photography books from the library. I’d even gone online and registered for a portrait class that was starting in two weeks. Which meant between now and then, I needed to buy a camera and figure it out.

  But first up? Surviving the afternoon with Holly’s tennis pro.

  “I promise you’ll love Caleb,” she said as I approached. “He’s a great instructor plus he’s really cute. I mean not as good-looking as Josh.” She winked at me.

  “You know there’s nothing going on between me and Josh, right?”

  “Perfect, then you’re available for Caleb.”

  I was about to tell her I wasn’t available, but the stubborn words clung to the back of my throat. Besides, “unavailable” meant I was dating someone. And if she was anything like Erin, she would want to know who that someone was.

  Do you think Chris Hemsworth was available to be my imaginary boyfriend?

  Or maybe Ryan Reynolds?

  We entered the pro shop and she introduced me to Caleb. Holly had been right. He was hot—and he had a warm smile that lit up his eyes when she mentioned my name.

  “I haven’t played tennis since high school,” I warned him, “and I wasn’t very good at it.”

  “Not a problem. We’ll begin with the basics.”

  Because I didn’t own a racket, Holly loaned me one of hers. That’s right. She couldn’t have just one racket. She had an army of them.

  Good thing we wouldn’t be dueling (aka playing tennis) to see who had the right to enjoy mind-numbing sex with Trent. And yes, I had no doubts whatsoever that sex with Trent would rock my world.

  Caleb had me warm up and stretch first, then he taught me the basics of the forehand and backhand. Holly was right. He was an amazing instructor. By the end of the lesson, the ball flew in the generally direction I was aiming for. I mean, I was nothing like him and Holly. Both could hit an ant on the opposite side of the court—intentionally. I was lucky (or rather, the ant was lucky) if I could get the ball within a few feet of it. But that was okay—at least I didn’t land on my ass at any point during the lesson.

  Once it was over, I expected Caleb to walk off to meet with his next student. He didn’t.

  “Holly mentioned you’re a physical therapist,” he said. Holly spotted someone she knew and left us. Alone.

  “Yes, I am…at the children’s hospital.”

  “They’re looking for a physical therapist here, if you’re interested.”

  Okay, so maybe Holly hadn’t been trying to set me up with him after all. “Thanks, but I love my job. And I love working with the kids.”

  We started walking toward Holly and her friend.

  “Would you be interested in going out with me next weekend?” Caleb casually asked.

  If it hadn’t been for what happened during the hike yesterday, I would have said yes. And maybe I was an idiot for not saying yes, given that what Trent and I were going to do wouldn’t amount to anything beyond satisfying sex. “I’m sorry, I’m seeing someone.”

  “You are? Holly said you’re single.”

  “It just happened. She doesn’t even know about it.”

  “Is it serious?”

  I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “It’s serious enough that we’ve agreed to be exc
lusive.” Not that it meant much when neither Trent nor I wanted a serious relationship right now.

  “If you change your mind,” he said. “You know where to find me.”

  Holly approached and glanced between me and Caleb, the eager expression on her face hard to miss.

  “I guess I wasn’t fast enough,” he said to her. “She’s already seeing someone.”

  Her eyes widened to the size of tennis balls, then narrowed at me. Inwardly I groaned. Brilliant going, Kels. I guess I should have thought of that before telling Caleb that I was seeing someone.

  He left and I braced myself for what was coming next.

  “So do you want to explain why you told him you’re seeing someone?” Holly asked and I winced.

  I couldn’t tell her the truth and I had no intention of lying to her. So I did the next best thing—I changed topic.

  “How long have you been playing tennis? I knew you were going to be good, but I never expected you to be that good.”

  Rule #1 for changing the topic: pick one that focuses on the other person and flatter them to death.

  “Nice try, Kelsey, but it’s not going to work. Spill it.”

  So much for rule #1.

  “It’s really no big deal,” I told her. If rule #1 didn’t work? Try rule #2.

  Too bad I didn’t know what that was.

  Her face glowed, and it had nothing to do with the sun shining on it. “If you’re not dating Josh, then who are you seeing?”

  “Um, no one you know.” Although for all I knew, she did know Chris Hemsworth. Not that she would guess he was my make-believe boyfriend.

  “I would love to meet him. Maybe you and I can double date with him and Trent some time.”

  That was right—all the gods in the universe had planned to torture me. They couldn’t have done a better job than if they had tied me up and made me watch a twenty-four-hour marathon of a lame sitcom, minus the commercial breaks.

  I glanced up at the sky and silently cursed them.

  My phone played Trent’s song. The temptation to ignore it wrapped around me, but Holly knew it was his song and was peering at me expectantly.

  “Hey, have you talked to Holly yet?” was the first thing he said after I answered the phone.

  Talk to her about what? That he was not available for her to date because he and I were having sex? Yes, that had been on the top of my to-do list for today.

  Since Holly couldn’t hear his side of the conversation, I told her he said “hi” and almost died at the hopeful expression on her face.

  “You’re with her now?” genius boy asked.

  “Uh huh.”

  “How about you explain to her why I would make a lousy boyfriend.”

  Why couldn’t he have asked me to do something simpler? Like scaling the Empire State Building. I doubted whatever I told her would make a difference. She already knew about the negatives and she was still willing to give him a chance.

  “Nice try. You’re a coward. You know that, right?” I said with a laugh.

  He chuckled. “Damn right I am. Have you seen her shoes? They’re registered lethal weapons.”

  He did have a point (pun intended).

  “And Kels?” His voice was low and I-want-to-do-you-now husky. I practically melted on the spot.

  “Yeah?”

  “Are we still on for tomorrow night?”

  Tomorrow night would be the night he and I finally consummated our friends-with-benefits relationship. And yes, my girlie parts were ready to throw a party in honor of the occasion.

  “Absolutely.” Because I couldn’t say anything else with Holly standing next to me, I told him I’d talk to him later and ended the call.

  “So are you going to tell me anything about the guy you’re now seeing?” Holly asked.

  Face meet palm.

  “Hey, I’m single and have to live vicariously through my non-single friends,” she said with the same smirk people who tended to say this usually wore. It was the same smirk that was spiked with jealously, humor, and a healthy dose of longing.

  But since she had brought it up. “Holly…” I took a deep breath. Not that it helped. “How would you feel if…if Trent was dating someone else?”

  “But he isn’t.”

  “Yes, but what if he was? Would you be okay with it?”

  “I’d be disappointed, but I’d get over it. Eventually. But since he isn’t seeing anyone, it doesn’t matter.”

  I stared at her for a moment, sending her a mental message that yes he was seeing someone—because that was the only excuse I could come up with to dissuade her from him. I also sent her another mental message so she wouldn’t guess it was me.

  “Wait, are you telling me that he really has a girlfriend?”

  I nodded, hoping this was one of those complex one-plus-one math questions she would never solve: Trent + his mysterious girlfriend = my mysterious boyfriend + me.

  “Then who’s he dating?” asked the woman on a mission.

  “I don’t know her name.” I scanned the area, searching for a shovel to help me dig my grave.

  Sorry, Trent. But this is what happens when you send me to break Holly’s heart, because you’re too much of a chicken to do it yourself.

  “I can’t wait to meet your boyfriend and his girlfriend,” she said without a hint of suspicion.

  Brilliant. Now Trent and I just needed a fake boyfriend and girlfriend to keep Holly—and subsequently Erin—from figuring out the truth.

  Something told me this situation wasn’t covered in the friends-with-benefits manual.

  Oh, joy!

  22

  Kelsey

  “How was your day?” I asked Mr. Kitty Whiskers as I dumped the dry pasta into the boiling water. He rubbed back and forth against my legs, hinting he wanted a kitty treat. “You slept all day? And how was that for you?” I asked.

  He answered with a meow.

  Satisfied the pasta water wouldn’t boil over, I returned to the kitchen table and checked out my new Nikon DSLR camera and the photography book I’d borrowed from the library.

  Tap. Tap. Tap.

  I startled at the noise from high in the corner of the room, then released a relieved breath. It was nothing more than an overgrown tree branch that kept hitting the wall whenever it was windy. I kept forgetting to call someone to deal with it.

  Tap. Tap. Tap.

  A flash of lightning temporarily lit up the sky outside the window. The overhead light flickered but stayed on.

  My thoughts drifted to Trent and how we would finally get to consummate our friends-with-benefits relationship tomorrow. Something that I would’ve been more than willing to do yesterday while hiking…if it weren’t for the risk of getting caught. And if Trent hadn’t needed to help his father.

  But since I had already been waiting a long time to end my sex drought, what was one more day? Although, with all the built-up sexual frustration consuming me, starting from when Trent and I first began hanging out together, I might combust before I was able to have sex with him.

  The ache between my legs thoroughly agreed.

  Maybe a nice long soak in the tub would help to distract me.

  Yes, because long hot baths were always a great substitute for sex, said no one ever.

  Lightning flashed again, followed a moment later by a loud rumble of thunder.

  And my thoughts instantly went back to Trent. And sex. And doing it during a lightning storm.

  Another of my sexual fantasies.

  I pushed myself off my chair and rifled through the utility drawer for matches. Nothing said romantic evening than a power outage, candles, and being alone.

  But at least I had my sexy underwear on. Erin and Holly would be proud. You know, in case a handsome stranger entered the house and wanted to ravish me during the lightning storm.

  Enough thinking about sex, I reprimanded myself. And don’t even think about Trent. Naked. Lit up by the lightning outside the window.

  God, I was
a lost cause.

  While I waited for dinner to finish cooking, I lit the white pillar candle on the coffee table in the living room and flipped through the TV channels. The sky lit up again, only this time instead of the room light flickering, the room and the TV went dark—other than candle on the table. “Great.” Now I couldn’t watch TV or study.

  I guess that left me with nothing to do, other than watching shadows dance on the wall or having a candle lit bath…while not fantasizing about Trent.

  Yeah, I didn’t think the non-fantasizing part was going to happen either.

  What did sexually frustrated guys do when they couldn’t have sex?

  Oh, that’s right, jack off in the shower.

  Maybe I could exercise instead. I’d taken a yoga class with Erin a few years ago. Too bad I didn’t remember anything, other than the downward facing dog. Which for some reason made me think of sex, doggy style.

  Which made me think of Trent.

  And…yoga was definitely out.

  My cell phone rang from the coffee table. Trent, who was no doubt checking that I was still alive.

  “I’m fine,” I told him.

  “Good to know. I’m home now and just heard that the power is out in your area because of a downed tree. So I figured you might as well come over and spend the night, since you don’t know how long your power will be out for. And just so you know…I spent all last night fantasizing about everything I want to do to you, Kels, and I don’t think I can survive another night just thinking it.” His husky voice left my panties ready to sacrifice themselves to a greater cause.

  Hot and dirty and definitely-not-nice thoughts took up residence in my head. How I managed not to moan was anyone’s guess.

  He did have a point though about the power. The last time the power went out in the area, it had remained off for four hours.

  “And Kelsey?” The last part came out all hot and bothered and all male. God, he wasn’t playing fair.

  “Yes?”

  “Don’t take too long. I’ve got a surprise for you.” He hung up before I could find out what it was.

  23

  Trent

  The intercom rang and I let Kelsey into the building. I glanced around the apartment, seeing it the way she would for the first time. Unlike her house, which was homey and reminded me of pictures I’d seen of Scandinavian-style homes, with their clean white interior designs, my apartment screamed professionally decorated bachelor pad. My boss had recommended the designer, and yes, I did end up screwing her. The interior designer, not my boss. My furniture was modern, sophisticated, and nothing like me.