Hers to Protect

by Nicole Disney

  “Hey, Blondie, you’re bleeding.”

  Kaia’s hair was dirty blond, almost brunette, but this wasn’t the first time a suspect used it to try to make her feel like a Barbie. Her arms did burn, though. She didn’t have to look to know she’d rubbed them raw on the ground during the scuffle.

  “So are you,” she said. The concrete had done its work on Hernandez’s palms and under her chin, and her cheek was still freshly ripped from whomever she’d been fighting.

  Kaia keyed up her radio. “Do we have anyone with the victim yet?”

  “I’ve got her.” Kaia recognized Murray’s voice scratching through the radio. “Adrienne Contreras. She’ll need to be looked at, but she’s fine.”

  Kaia’s breath caught in her chest and she felt herself go pale. It couldn’t be her Adrienne, could it? She hadn’t seen her in almost ten years, not since they were teenagers. Since they were lovers. Since the night that changed everything.

  Kaia looked back at the cuffed Hernandez. This was Adrienne’s lover now? Beautiful, she had to admit, but coarse, rough and tumble, a gang member and brash enough to put her hands on sweet Adrienne? What could she be thinking? It was so insane Kaia couldn’t even buy it.

  “Reid,” she said. “I’m going to check our victim.”

  “Right,” Hernandez said. “Victim.”

  Kaia’s cheeks flushed for reasons she couldn’t even pinpoint. She ignored the comment. It was probably just a coincidence of name anyway.

  “You okay?” Reid asked. Kaia realized she was still standing in a lifeless stupor.

  “Yeah,” she said. “I’ll meet you at the house.”

  “Will do.”

  As Kaia walked back, she realized how far she’d actually chased Hernandez. There had been a moment she wasn’t sure she’d catch her. Another where she wasn’t sure she could overpower her. What if Hernandez had gotten away? What if she’d let Adrienne’s attacker escape? The thought enraged her. But what was she thinking? Adrienne wasn’t hers to protect, hadn’t been in years. Memories of those times rarely even surfaced anymore. Why did she feel so possessive? Then again, your first love would always be yours in a way.

  Kaia used the gate to the backyard this time and found the back door to the house open with patrol officers gathered in what seemed to be a kitchen. She knew they must be questioning the victim, but Kaia couldn’t see her. She took a deep breath, suddenly extremely self-conscious as she stepped inside.

  “Hey, there she is!” Murray greeted her. He was an old friend from before she moved to the street crime task force. They used to patrol on the same shift, had taken plenty of calls together.

  “Murray.” She accepted the slap on her back she knew was his way of approving her willingness to go hands-on.

  Kaia couldn’t focus. She passed him, eager to see the victim, still hoping to see a stranger. Kaia heard her voice before she could get around Murray, and her heart dropped into her stomach.

  “I don’t want to press charges.”

  Adrienne saw Kaia right away and their eyes locked. There was a thickness in Kaia’s throat she recognized as tears trying to sneak up. Adrienne’s eyes were darkened with bruising that still had a ways to go before they would be done. Her lip was split; a smear of blood was wiped along her jaw. Kaia pushed away the emotion. She couldn’t cry. For so many reasons, she couldn’t do that.

  “Why is she in cuffs?”

  “She was pretty rowdy when we got here,” Murray said. Kaia would doubt anyone else, but she knew Murray, knew how he worked. He was a good guy, exceedingly patient for someone with ten years on the force. Kaia raised an eyebrow at Adrienne, but she looked away.

  “Give me a minute with her, guys.”

  “Sure, sure.” They were more than willing to disperse. It wasn’t uncommon for them to ask her to talk to women for them. There was a presumption women responded better to other women, which was sometimes true and other times completely wrong. She told herself that was the only reason they scurried away so quickly, that no one was picking up on her recognition of Adrienne. Kaia waited until they were out of earshot, well into the backyard. She wanted to close the door, but that would look odd.

  Kaia met Adrienne’s eyes again, searching for the girl she’d known and loved, would have done anything for. There was no trace of her, only defiance and a surprising hardness.

  Kaia walked to Adrienne’s back and fit her key into the cuffs, releasing them. She shivered as her fingers brushed Adrienne’s wrist. She walked around again and pulled up a chair, facing her. She rested her forearms on her knees, reminding herself of the tender scrapes.

  “What if I attack you?” Adrienne asked.

  Kaia felt disarmed by the question. Adrienne, attack her? “You won’t.”

  “You don’t know that. You don’t know me anymore.”

  “No, I guess I don’t. You’re…” she paused, “rowdy now, huh?”

  “That’s what they say.”

  “Is it true?”

  Kaia saw a glimpse of vulnerability. Adrienne’s eyes were almond shaped, brown, infinitely warm, and in no way predisposed to this coldness she was trying to wear.

  “I had to be,” she said. “She can’t think I’m cooperating with you.”

  “You know you have to press charges, right?”

  “Why? So she can get out tonight and beat me for that too?” Adrienne seemed to pull away from her own words, like she just realized who she was talking to all over again, embarrassed. Kaia dragged her hand down her own face in anxiety. This couldn’t be real.

  “We can help you.” Kaia reached and grabbed Adrienne’s hand before she could think better of it. Her heart stopped, but she left it there. “Let me help you.”

  Adrienne pulled away. “You can’t. She’ll get out and she’ll find me. Don’t get involved in this, and for the love of God, do not let her find out who you are to me.”

  Kaia couldn’t fight the warm buzz up her spine at being someone to Adrienne, yet she couldn’t believe she was hearing the same old argument from Adrienne she’d heard from so many others. Cops hated domestic violence calls because the victim was almost never cooperative and often forced officers to leave them in the same dangerous situation they’d called about. Kaia had always understood why, the fear, the love that endured even when they were treated terribly, but hearing it from Adrienne brought back soul-crushing sadness and empathy she hadn’t felt in a long time.

  “I’m taking her to jail with or without your cooperation. She ran and resisted.”

  “Good. Take her. Why put myself at risk?”

  Kaia didn’t bother pressing anymore. She knew a hard no when she heard one. “Okay, but you need to be gone when she gets out. Pack and go the second we leave.”

  Adrienne shook her head but didn’t say anything.

  “What, Adrienne? What is it? Why would you stay?”

  She didn’t answer.

  “You still love her?”

  Adrienne looked up. “Gianna?” She laughed. “Wow, I haven’t really thought about it that way in a while. Love. Yeah, I guess I do.”

  Kaia pretended it didn’t sting and just mentally noted the first name Hernandez had denied them. Gianna.

  “She’ll kill you someday, Adrienne. It doesn’t get better.”

  “I know that,” Adrienne snapped. “God, don’t cop talk me.”

  Kaia heard the distaste for police in the word “cop.” She’d masked it a little, but not well. Adrienne saw Kaia register it. She expected an apology, but Adrienne surprised her again.

  “I can’t believe you’re a fucking cop.” The animosity was plain. Kaia felt anger fighting shame in her chest. She was hated for her uniform on a daily basis, but it rarely hurt anymore. From Adrienne, it did. She grit her teeth. Kaia had immediately assumed a familiarity and warmth, but all Adrienne saw was a uniform.

  “Fine.” Kaia slapped her card down on the kitchen table without explanation. “You can give your statement to Officer Murray.”

&
nbsp; Kaia saw the surprise pass through Adrienne’s delicate features, but Adrienne made no move to stop her.

  Chapter Two

  Adrienne locked the door behind Murray. The statement she’d given him was useless, deliberately riddled with excessively vague information and inconsistencies. She knew Kaia would read it and that she’d be furious. She hoped Kaia would know it was intentional, at least. Adrienne could live with Kaia disagreeing with her decision, but she didn’t want to come off as dumb or as a liar. She observed the fact that she cared what Kaia thought of her without emotion, refusing to linger on why. She had more important things to worry about than running into an ex from another life, even if Kaia was still tomboy gorgeous with her dirty blond hair, blue eyes, and a body Adrienne suspected was even more toned than before, if hidden under that obnoxious, boxy vest. It didn’t matter. If Kaia hadn’t already forgotten her, she would certainly write her off now. The urge to redeem herself was pure ego and not in her best interest.

  Adrienne went into the living room and picked up the lamp from the floor. She gathered the pieces of the light bulb gingerly, remembering the cut one of these shards had inflicted on Gianna’s face. Gianna was probably poking at it right now while she ruminated in rage.

  A knock at the door made Adrienne jump. She tightened her fingers around the shards of glass before they could slip apart and felt the edge grip her flesh.

  “Pigs are gone. Open up,” a voice called from outside.

  Adrienne recognized it as Celeste’s voice and turned the deadbolt. Celeste paused when she saw Adrienne’s face, then came in and shut the door.

  “You okay?”

  Adrienne nodded. She firmly resisted the urge to get emotional, but Celeste must have seen through her.

  “Come here.” She raised her arms for a hug as if she didn’t really want to. Adrienne quickly hugged and released her.

  Anna and Christina came in without knocking. They were both in wifebeaters; boxers showed from the tops of low-slung jeans. They wore their tattoos like armor. They lived by intimidation and toughness above all else. They had to if they wanted to maintain control of the fifteen square blocks they’d claimed as their turf, despite being a small and young gang.

  “Heard your address on the scanner,” Anna said. “What happened?”

  Adrienne gestured at her beaten face.

  “Okay,” Anna sneered. Anna was Gianna’s best friend, every bit as deep with the Wild AKs and fiercely loyal.

  “They came for that, arrested her for running.”

  “That’s your fault,” Anna said. “You dimed her out.”

  “I did not.”

  “I just told you I heard the scanner, didn’t I? Woman said her girl was going to kill her. That’s you. You did this.”

  “I didn’t file charges. I didn’t give them anything they could use.”

  “And I’m supposed to believe that? Like it even matters? You brought the cops here, what did you think would happen?”

  “I had to,” Adrienne said. “She was going to kill me.”

  “Please.”

  “She was.”

  “I hope she does, snitch.”

  “Gianna can deal with that when she’s out,” Celeste interrupted. “That’s her business.”

  Adrienne knew the sentiment was to her benefit, but she still didn’t like feeling like property, like she was Gianna’s belonging to deal with. Celeste had tried to convince Adrienne to join up a dozen times. She’d be a person if she became a Wild AK. The gang would care about her and how she was treated. Gianna wouldn’t be able to beat her with impunity anymore because she too would be family to Anna, Christina, Marco, and all the others. She couldn’t pretend it wasn’t tempting. She missed being an equal.

  “They find anything?” Anna asked.

  “No.”

  “Good. Let’s get on with it then.”

  It was a pickup day and Gianna’s arrest wasn’t any reason to slow down. When Adrienne first started dealing weed and coke to the WAKs they’d respected her. They’d shared their connections with each other as they made them. They’d grown together, moved into harder drugs and bigger quantities together, out of poverty into comfort and even occasional extravagance.

  Adrienne stopped having to deal at the street level and started only dealing with bigger quantities for the WAKs and others like them. It was simpler when she was just their drug dealer. Things got complicated when she started dating Gianna. It had been a status jump, and maybe it still was to outsiders, but she’d felt like less and less of a human ever since, and Gianna’s treatment was contagious. Anna stopped respecting her when Gianna did.

  “I’ll take Gi’s too,” Anna said. “I’ll move it for her.”

  Move meant sell. Adrienne wasn’t sure how Gianna would react to her giving Anna her extensive stash of drugs. There was a time Adrienne would have gone on the corners and done it herself in Gianna’s absence, but Anna and the crew had the reputation and firepower to survive the streets. Even so, she didn’t relish the idea of letting Anna walk away with thousands of dollars worth of Gianna’s drugs. Anna saw the hesitation.

  “People don’t stop buying just because one of us spends a weekend in the pen. I’ll run dry without Gi selling her share, and we can’t be dry. Ever.”

  “She’ll still get her cut of the cash,” Christina said. “She’d want this. And anyway, you don’t want that much product here if your friends in blue come back to check on you.”

  “What, you think I’m stealing from one of our own?” Anna stepped closer. “Get the drugs, bitch!”

  “Okay, fine.” Adrienne accepted the cash from each of them and went to the bedroom to retrieve their drugs. She closed the door. She knew it would make Anna even angrier that she felt the need to conceal the safe’s location and code, but no matter how much Gianna trusted Anna, Adrienne never would. She put in the combination, a series of dates that meant something to her and Gianna back when their relationship was intensely romantic, back when being part of the Wild AKs was more about protection and having friends in a neighborhood that could chew you up and spit you out. The gang had since swallowed Gianna, and Adrienne knew she had to either follow or get stamped out.

  The safe held a scattering of drugs, marijuana, methamphetamine, cocaine, bags of pills, of both the prescription and party drug variety. Adrienne had already divided them into the portions each of her buyers wanted, including Gianna’s share. She noted the stacks of cash, knowing that although a large portion of it was hers, Gianna thought of all of it as her own. A pistol sat on top of the cash as if it were guarding the entire contents. Adrienne grabbed the bags for Celeste, Christina, Anna, and Gianna, ignoring the lurch in her stomach as she grabbed the last.

  Anna snatched the bags from her hands when Adrienne returned. “You call me when they’re letting her out.”

  Adrienne nodded and locked the door behind them even though she knew they had keys. The Wild AKs were free to come and go from her life whether she liked it or not.

  Adrienne went to the bedroom and stripped, examining her scrapes and bruises as she went. Most of them were turning purple. Officer Murray had photographed the obvious ones but missed many more, including the light blue ones across her throat, the ones that had made the fight life threatening and could have made Gianna’s charges more serious. Incompetent. Cops couldn’t see past their noses, so sure they had seen it all before and already knew the story that they scarcely bothered listening or truly looking.

  Every time she’d had to deal with cops they’d been arrogant, rude, and eager to escalate the situation they claimed to be there to remedy. She’d seen them abuse their power, seen them pocket drug money rather than arrest the dealer, knowing there was nothing a criminal could do to report them. She’d grown to believe only a certain type of person wanted that job, and that they were usually overbearing, power-hungry animals who didn’t think for themselves or know how to listen. She couldn’t reconcile that image with the one she had of the patien
t, kind, and understanding Kaia, yet she still couldn’t help but think of Kaia as lost to the badge. Whoever she was before, it wouldn’t survive the job. Maybe that Kaia was gone before the uniform, buried ten years ago when she’d put a baseball bat to Adrienne’s father’s head.

  Chapter Three

  “You sure you don’t want those arms looked at?” Reid obviously knew something was wrong, but he also had to know it wasn’t a little road rash. Kaia wished he’d stop bringing up her injuries with Gianna in the backseat. They had to transport her to the station and Kaia hated giving her the satisfaction.

  On cue, Gianna leaned up to the partition separating the backseat. “You going to cry, Blondie?”

  Kaia elbowed the cage at Gianna’s face level. Gianna jumped but quickly recovered with a smirk.

  “What’s wrong, boo? I was just checking on you. You look like you need someone to take care of you.”

  “That’s enough,” Reid said.

  “Are you two together? Is that what it is?”

  “No.”

  “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” She turned back to Kaia, getting as close as the partition allowed. “You like pussy, don’t you?”

  “Shut the fuck up, Hernandez,” Kaia snapped.

  “Enjoyed our little tangle, did you? If you wanted a feel all you had to do was ask.”

  Kaia forced herself to stop responding. Prisoners loved razzing her, always had, but she didn’t usually fall into it so easily.

  “You’re not still in the closet, are you?” Gianna persisted. “I mean, come on, everyone knows girl cops are gay anyway.”

  They finally pulled into the lot. Kaia opened the back door.

  “Out.”

  “Goodness, you’re an angry one.”

  “Get out.”

  “You just need to get laid, sweetie. It’ll help you with that urge to be a bitch.”

  Kaia grabbed Gianna’s upper arm and yanked. Gianna stiffened and pulled back. She rolled onto her back and kicked in Kaia’s direction. Her foot mostly missed, brushing her thigh, but it still hurt. Kaia grabbed the foot and yanked, dragging Gianna out and letting her slam to the ground. With her hands still cuffed, Gianna was unable to control her fall and landed hard, headfirst.