Hers to Protect

by Nicole Disney

  Never mind that Kaia’s smell still made her head swim or that showing up here in street clothes was exactly the way to make Adrienne remember how much she’d loved Kaia. They weren’t sixteen anymore, and all they had in common now was a possibility Gianna would kill them. Her life with Kaia ended ten years ago.

  “Let me out.”

  Kaia pulled over. “Do you still have my card?” Adrienne could feel the resentment.

  “No. I can’t keep that shit around, Kaia. Don’t you get it? You’re a cop. That’s all Gianna knows about you and it needs to stay that way. Why would I keep a cop’s card unless I was going to snitch?”

  “Put my number in your phone then.”

  “Why?” Adrienne snapped. She couldn’t keep this up. Why was Kaia making it so hard?

  Kaia winced. “In case you need help. In case…” Kaia slowly raised her hand. Adrienne had time to move away, but she couldn’t. Kaia’s fingers brushed the deep blue bruises around Adrienne’s eyes. Adrienne turned her face into Kaia’s warm palm and closed her eyes. Just for a second. When she opened her eyes, Kaia’s were waiting.

  “I have to go.” Adrienne moved Kaia’s hand and got out of the car before either of them could say another word. She went against traffic so Kaia wouldn’t be able to follow.

  “Shit.” If she knew anything about Kaia, she wouldn’t drop this. And if she knew Gianna, she wouldn’t forget the cop who outran her and yanked her out of a police car by her foot. Gianna had told her everything in a rage, and though a piece deep inside her was smiling, it wasn’t worth the danger it put Kaia in.

  Adrienne took Kaia’s card from her wallet. She had kept it, but what she’d said was true, it wasn’t safe to do so. She didn’t want Kaia’s number, but she couldn’t make herself throw it away.

  Chapter Seven

  The knock on Kaia’s door came well after eleven. Kaia answered in her sweatpants and tank top. Carli stood in the doorway with a bottle of wine in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

  “I admit I’m starting to really like you.” She held the wine bottle up. “And I would love to romance you.”

  Kaia opened her mouth, but Carli cut her off.

  “But if you’re not ready for that, I can do crazy whiskey night too. Just let me do one of them. I’m your friend and I know you’re going through something. You don’t have to be afraid to tell me what.”

  Kaia opened the door wider and smiled. “Come on in.” She led Carli into the kitchen and found a bottle opener. “Can we do something somewhere in the middle?”

  Carli smiled and hugged her. “Of course.” She sat on a barstool while Kaia opened the wine.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Carli was in a T-shirt and jeans. Kaia suspected that was her way of saying she wasn’t here for sex, but she still looked sexy. Kaia poured each of them a glass of wine and rested her elbows on the counter.

  Kaia knew she had to tell her something. “That domestic we went on that keeps coming up. My ex was the victim.”

  Carli took the information with a straight face, revealing nothing of how she felt. “Is she okay?”

  “Seems to be. But she’s mixed in with gangsters, and Gang Enforcement thinks she might be involved too.”

  “Jesus,” Carli muttered. “Did you ask her?”

  “Yeah, but I don’t know if she’s telling the truth. Why would she? I’m a cop.”

  “But you have history.”

  Kaia shook her head. “I don’t know that it matters much. It’s been so long. And, I don’t know, maybe I overestimated how much she cared in the first place. I mean I haven’t talked to her in almost ten years. It’s not like she wanted to keep in touch, obviously.”

  Carli seemed to think for a long time before she answered. “Do you still love her?”

  Kaia laughed. “Did you not just hear me say it’s been ten years?”

  “Why’d you break up?”

  Kaia looked down at her marble counter, tracing the swirls with her fingers. “Her mom didn’t approve and moved her away.” That was the standard answer she’d been giving for years. It was true, but it wasn’t the whole story by a long shot.

  “So you never got closure. Do you think it’s kept you from moving on?”

  “No,” Kaia said. “I moved on. Life doesn’t give you a choice. You move on or you get left behind. I have a life and it’s had nothing to do with Adrienne for a long time.”

  Carli squeezed her hand. “It’s okay to care what happens to her.”

  “Yeah, but she doesn’t want me to. She’s moved on and she doesn’t want me in her life. I’m just someone getting in her way. I think she kind of hates me, honestly.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  Kaia wanted to take comfort in that, but Carli didn’t know everything. She felt her eyes watering as her mind tried to jump to the past, to everything that had really torn them apart. The move may have set their demise in stone, but it didn’t fall out of the sky. They grew up a couple of blocks from each other, and as kids they practically lived in one another’s homes.

  As they got older, Adrienne’s parents became less welcoming, especially her father. He was a sensitive looking guy, mild mannered, but sometimes Adrienne would hint at his dark side. Kaia never knew what it meant, and even when they started dating, Adrienne wouldn’t share anything but the vaguest allusions. The night she did finally find everything out shattered their world.

  Adrienne had snuck her in to spend the night. They heard him coming up the stairs, so Adrienne hissed at her to hide in the closet. She did. She expected him to say good night, maybe ask if she’d done her homework, but instead he started taking off her clothes, and she was saying the weirdest stuff. That she didn’t feel well, that she had a test tomorrow, like what he was doing was normal and she just wasn’t in the mood. He pulled down his pants and got on top of Adrienne. She was crying.

  Kaia didn’t even think about what she was doing, she just grabbed the baseball bat that was in the closet, came out, and swung it at his head. She hadn’t meant to hurt him so bad, didn’t think she had until the blood started to pool.

  When Adrienne’s mom found out she couldn’t get Adrienne far enough away. She was a strict Catholic, and her daughter’s lesbian lover had just rendered her sexually abusive husband brain dead. The incident had to have shaken her to her foundation, though Kaia never saw her again to know. She thought about Adrienne’s dad frequently. She felt like she had killed him. He was a vegetable, so she ended his real life. And she never knew what Adrienne thought about it. She was gone in a flash and never came back.

  Carli wiped a tear from Kaia’s face. She hadn’t realized she started crying. Damn it.

  “Maybe this is a whiskey kind of night after all,” Carli said.

  They both laughed and Kaia broke into the bottle. They moved into the living room.

  “You still have a thing for Adrienne, though,” she said.

  Kaia couldn’t help but laugh. “What?”

  “Uh-huh, and you need to work that shit out.”

  “You’re crazy.”

  “Don’t tell me that if it’s not true.” She became serious. “I’ll be your friend if that’s what you need, but don’t string me along while you test the Adrienne waters.”

  Kaia loved how direct Carli was. It had attracted her, but she didn’t want to admit she was even thinking about Adrienne like that. If she let that idea in she might not be able to get rid of it.

  “I don’t know what to say. Adrienne and I are ancient history,” Kaia said. “She’s in love with a gangster. I really don’t think there’s anything there.”

  “Forget how you think she feels. You don’t know how you feel about her.”

  Kaia hated that idea. She didn’t want to be some weirdo who couldn’t get over an ex from a decade ago while Adrienne had been in love with someone else for years and never even thought of Kaia. But Carli was right, just because she didn’t want to have feelings for Adrienne didn’t mean she di
dn’t.

  “I guess you’re right. I don’t know. But God, that’s not fair. She’s dating some lunatic and hates cops. We would never work.” Kaia took a shot of whiskey. “You and I are such a better match.”

  Carli smiled shyly. “I agree. But you can’t fight what you feel, and if we try to force this, you’ll just hurt me.”

  Kaia was baffled by Carli’s composure, her kindness. She’d never seen someone take what was basically rejection with such grace. “I do care about you,” Kaia said. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “Miss me? Girl you still have to deal with me. I’m going to give you every shit call in the queue until I’m over you.”

  Kaia laughed. “Fair enough.”

  * * *

  Kaia woke with an empty bed and a pounding headache. Wine and whiskey, what was she thinking? The clock showed 10:00 a.m. already. She pulled on a sweatshirt and stumbled out to the Lincoln that Davis had checked out to her. She could get used to this kind of work. No uniform, no start time, all about the long game. Her phone rang as she turned the key. It was Davis.

  “Sorano,” she answered.

  “Get anything from your girl?”

  “She says she’s not a member, but I’m going to push it a bit. I need more time with her. I’m going to do some surveillance on the house today.”

  “Good enough. Need a surveillance buddy?”

  “No, I’m okay.”

  “Gets boring.”

  “I know, but I’m okay.”

  “All right, don’t forget to be careful. Even if Contreras is your buddy, these other cats aren’t.”

  “Don’t worry, I know.”

  Careful was not what she had in mind today. She wanted to be seen. She wanted the pressure on Gianna, who obviously couldn’t control her emotions. She wanted her to know she was being watched and she wanted to see what Adrienne would do.

  Chapter Eight

  “Marco says the pigs keep watching his place,” Gianna said. She was pacing, thinking.

  “What’s he want us to do?” Anna asked.

  “Just be careful, especially when you’re carrying. Don’t do anything stupid.”

  Anna went to the only window that had blinds and peered through them.

  “They’ll realize they have nothing to go on and move on to bigger fish,” Gianna said, mostly to herself.

  “We have plenty of money.” Adrienne looked up from portioning out the last of the cocaine on the coffee table.

  “Yeah.” Gianna spun. “So?”

  Adrienne shrugged and added some more of the white powder to the scale until she was satisfied with the weight. “We could lay low for a while.”

  Gianna shook her head. “No. If people can’t buy from us they’ll go somewhere else, and I’m not having that. We can’t go backwards.”

  “Yo, Gi, we got a problem out here.”

  “What?” Gianna powered to the window. Adrienne closed her eyes. She’d seen Kaia parked across the street in the same Lincoln she’d been in the other day. That was hours ago, and Adrienne had hoped Kaia had had the good sense to move by now.

  “Looks like an undercover car to me,” Anna said. “Some cat just sitting inside. What do you think? They on us too now?”

  “Hold on.” Gianna motioned for Anna to be quiet and squinted. “That looks like the same blond bitch who locked me up last week.”

  “The one that threw you on the ground?”

  Gianna squinted again. “I don’t know what she’s doing here in that thing, she was a uniform, but I’m pretty sure that’s her.”

  “If it’s the same chick she’s probably just following up on that,” Adrienne said. “Checking up on me.”

  Gianna looked over her shoulder at Adrienne. “Maybe,” she said. “But why the undercover car? She’s up to something. Doesn’t want people to know she’s a cop. Bet she’s here to take another cheap shot ’cause I threatened her.”

  “Alone?” Anna asked.

  “These Blues think they’re gods just because they have a badge and a gun.”

  “She got one of these?” Anna picked up the AK-47 from the coffee table.

  “She’s about to get the wrong end of one,” Gianna said. “I warned her.”

  “Hold on,” Adrienne said, forcing herself not to give away her panic by standing up. She mechanically dumped the portion of coke from the scale into a small plastic bag. “I can get rid of her. I’ll just go show her I’m fine and healing and she’ll go away.”

  “She’s got justice coming her way still,” Gianna said.

  “Not like this, not in front of our house. You’ll go to prison. Just let me try.” Adrienne’s heart felt like it was going to explode. She couldn’t tell if she was believable. Gianna’s eyes were narrowed.

  “I don’t like it,” Gianna finally said. “No telling what she’ll do. She’s crooked.”

  “Kaia’s not crooked.”

  “What did you say?” Gianna and Anna both advanced.

  Adrienne sat up straighter and met their eyes, furious with herself. She’d been so terrified Kaia would give away their past, but she’d been the one to get sloppy. She tried to blow by it.

  “I didn’t mean it like that. She shouldn’t have—”

  Gianna charged over and slapped her with a loud clap that made her teeth clack together and left her dizzy. “What did you call her?” Gianna yelled.

  “Kaia. Her name is Kaia.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “She told me when she interviewed me.”

  “Bullshit! They use last names.”

  “She did! And she left me her card. She wanted me to call if—”

  Gianna slapped her again. “If I hit you? You going to turn me in?”

  “No! I didn’t. I wouldn’t.”

  “You’re such a fucking liar! Everything out of your mouth is bullshit. What makes you so sure she’s not crooked? You know this broad, don’t you? You been talking to the police behind my back?” Gianna was screaming at the top of her lungs and getting closer with every word until Adrienne was plastered to the back of the couch with Gianna towering over her, leaning close to her face.

  “No, of course not,” Adrienne said. “She’s going to hear you, baby.”

  “Good. Let her ass come in here. I dare her.”

  “Yo,” Anna interrupted. “If you do know this chick that could come in handy.”

  Gianna stopped and looked at Anna, processing it. She turned back to Adrienne.

  “All right,” she said. “I’m going to ask you again and I want the truth. I will find out if you lie, believe that. I’m going to find out where this bitch lives, where she’s from, where she went to school, where all her family and friends live, what she fucking eats on Tuesday nights, you get it? And if anything or anyone links you to her, even if you just crossed paths in the fucking street and you lied to me, I swear I will kill you. If you tell me right now, maybe Anna is right and we can find a use for that. Now what’s it going to be? Do you know her?”

  Adrienne’s tears were falling from her chin. Over Gianna’s shoulder she thought she saw a glimmer of sympathy on Anna’s face as she nodded at Adrienne to speak up. Adrienne didn’t doubt Gianna’s ability to find Kaia’s family and friends, and they could all link the two of them. Looking up Adrienne’s high school would reveal Kaia went there too. A lie would never pass scrutiny.

  “She’s my ex.”

  “Jesus.” Gianna backed away from her face. “You dated a cop and you never thought you should tell me that?”

  Adrienne shook her head. “She wasn’t a cop. We were only seventeen. I haven’t seen her since then. I had no idea until she showed up here last week. I swear.”

  Gianna stared at her. It felt like hours. “That’s it? That’s everything?”

  She nodded.

  “Get rid of her.”

  Adrienne started toward the door. Gianna grabbed her and pulled her back. She wiped her sleeve roughly down Adrienne’s face, pressing the sensitive brui
ses carelessly as she brushed away tears.

  “She’s not going to leave if you’re crying.”

  When Adrienne got close to the car, she heard the locks pop. She ignored them and went to Kaia’s window. It rolled down. Kaia had had a rough night. Adrienne recognized her favorite hangover attire, sweats, a ridiculously old T-shirt, sunglasses, her hair in a messy bun, and coffee in the cup holder.

  “Good morning,” Kaia said.

  “Are you out of your fucking mind?”

  “I told you I was looking into this.”

  “Ever heard of discretion?”

  “Never been for me.”

  “You’re supposed to be undercover. They’re not going to do anything when they know you’re out here, genius.”

  Kaia smiled. “See, I knew you wanted to help me. Got any other pointers?”

  Adrienne scowled at her.

  “I’m just making them uncomfortable,” Kaia said. “I know I’m obvious, that’s the point. Just ruining a few days.”

  “The only day you’re ruining is mine. Now will you please leave before I lose my face?”

  Concern mixed with anger flashed across Kaia’s features and she pulled her sunglasses down and let them hang around her neck. “Did she hit you? I’ll go take her back to jail right now and we can be done with this.”

  Adrienne shook her head and rested her forearms on the window, making sure to make eye contact. “You have no idea what you’ve gotten into, do you? They’re at the window right now with an AK-47. You try to arrest Gianna they will literally kill you.”

  “I doubt that. They know that’s game over for them. It’s just tough talk.”

  “No, it’s not, Kaia. They’ll kill you. Please just leave. You are such a shit cop. You have no idea what you’re doing.”

  Kaia laughed.

  “Seriously. It’s not funny.”

  “I am not a bad cop. I arrest people who do illegal shit, hitting someone qualifies. I have every right to go arrest her. I don’t care how much backup I have to call in to do it.”

  “I never said she hit me, I said she’s going to if you don’t leave.”