Your Own Human

by Arizona Tape

  Your Own Human

  Arizona Tape

  Contents

  Your Own Human

  Chapter 1: Change

  Chapter 2: Heather

  Chapter 3: Rain

  Chapter 4: Underground

  Chapter 5: Grass

  Chapter 6: Talk

  Chapter 7: Discoveries

  Chapter 8: Guide

  Chapter 9: Clouds

  Chapter 10: Sleep

  Chapter 11: Flowers

  Chapter 12: Red

  Chapter 13: Once Upon a Time

  Chapter 14: The Building

  Chapter 15: Blood

  Chapter 16: Ecstasy

  Chapter 17: Blue

  Chapter 18: Johanna

  Chapter 19: Lab Results

  Chapter 20: Silence

  Author's Note

  About Arizona Tape

  Stalk Arizona Tape

  Also By

  Book Links

  Your Own Human

  By Arizona Tape

  To us.

  Copyright © 2017 by Arizona Tape

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication or cover may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to arizonatape@gmail.com with the subject line “COPYRIGHT: YOUR OWN HUMAN”.

  But just don't steal stuff. Seriously. It's mean.

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to people (dead or alive) places, events, names, … is entirely coincidental.

  Chapter 1: Change

  The gravel cracked gently under my shoes as the deserted building loomed up in front of me. Three months had passed since I let Heather go. Three very long months since I said goodbye to her right in front of the deserted factory.

  And here I was again, just like every week. To think, to meditate, to breathe, to grieve. And slowly, to heal.

  A lot changed.

  My heart slowly mended itself, the wound knitting closed. But the scar wouldn’t ever disappear. I lost a part of my heart, a part of myself.

  It gave me a lot to think about, a lot to process. Not something I was very used to, but it was definitely a nice change of pace.

  Week one was filled with a lot of crying and pain. Week two was all about the anger. I screamed till my lungs burned, till my voice broke, till I had no more screams left. Until I could take no more. The weeks after were different… Empty. They passed me by as clouds during a moonless night.

  If I thought back, it felt a lot like wallowing. But I needed those weeks to process, to feel the pain, and to let the sadness leave my body. To refill myself with warm thoughts, with positive energy, with a new will. I learned to be at peace, with myself, with the world, with her. To stop blaming her for leaving, to stop blaming myself for letting her leave. To silence the anger in myself and let go of the guilt.

  Hearing the exact plans the council had for her definitely made that easier as I knew for sure I did the right thing. No chance in hell would I let them clone her so they could breed an inferior race of slaves. That was just a terrifying idea. Almost as horrifying as admitting that if I hadn’t fallen for her, I might’ve agreed with the council. Maybe even proposed the experiment.

  A shiver ran down my spine as I shrugged that thought away. No, letting Heather go had been the right thing. It still was. Even if it sent the council into a blind rage as they demanded to know what happened to the human. They insisted on questioning me for days on end, appalled by my insubordination. Under the watchful eye of Father, they tried everything. Begging, bribing, blackmail, threats, nothing worked. They tried to track my movements from the electronic chip in my arm, but a simple favour from a friend in the sixth continent killed the tracing part of their system. And of course, they couldn’t admit that to the public, so they followed me around in person. They weren’t very inconspicuous. I ran circles around them until they grew utterly annoyed with me. Only when they resorted to torture, Father stepped in.

  In hindsight, I got off pretty easy. Not that I really cared. I would’ve protected Heather at any cost, even if it meant taking her secret to my grave. And Father must’ve realised how deep my feelings ran and even somewhat accepted them. Begrudgingly, of course.

  Our relationship was on the mend, but most of our interactions were still strained. It hadn’t been easy. He apologised multiple times but I couldn’t look at him like I used to. Then again, I didn’t look at myself the same way either. I never considered myself someone to look up to, not like I regarded Father. For as long as I could remember, he was my idol and now… Now he wasn’t. No matter how many times he apologised, I just couldn’t reconcile the two different images I had of him. My dad, the superhero and Father, the ice-cold scientist.

  But as I worked through my own issues and lost myself in meditation, I managed to forgive him. More or less. Enough to start anew and force myself to at least try and rebuild our relationship. I accepted his apology and we started again. It wasn’t what it used to be, but we were civil and we reconnected. We got to talking about Heather and I told him about how things had been between us. How we had found each other and how we had clicked. And slowly but steadily, dad started to understand. I think it was because he recognised what I was talking about. Love.

  The council formally apologised, but only because Father announced he’d leave and take his funds and possessions with him. Being from an old lineage finally had some advantages. The letter they sent was horribly distant, but at least they weren’t threatening me anymore. Or following me around. The stalking was really annoying.

  At least all the soulsearching helped me face some of my other demons. One particular demon was quite happy to see me when I visited her in the hospital. My former best friend. The one I practically never visited because of my guilt. She was surprised to see me, I read it in her eyes. But I also found relief, happiness, contentment. She was genuinely glad to see me. And after those long years, we finally talked it over. I told her about my fears, about my feelings, how the guilt had been eating away at me. I apologised, asked for her forgiveness, for not preventing her from taking that trip, and for not being there after her accident. And she forgave me. In fact, she had forgiven me a long time ago, I just never knew. And just like that, another weight lifted off my shoulders, another string that constricted my lungs snapped and I could breathe again. It ended in tears, a familiar hug, and a promise that I would visit her again soon.

  I smiled as the wind played with my hair. So many things changed, yet my love for Heather hadn’t. It hadn’t withered nor shrunk nor disappeared. I loved her as much as when she had been with me, and I had come to accept I would for the rest of my life.

  The prominent ache in my heart had made place for a soft, almost gentle burning at the back of my skull. At times, it would burn brighter and force out tears and close my throat. And I would just ride it out, letting the melancholy take me over until the wave passed, embracing the loss and pain. Yes, I had learned a lot in the past months. A lot about me, a lot about inner peace, a lot about life.

  I let out a deep breath and uncrossed my legs, stretching out the stiffness from sitting down in one position too long . Meditation was great for the mind, but I still hadn’t managed to relax enough physically to reap the benefits from it. Maybe I was doing it wrong.

  I’d sit immovably still, focusing on emptiness, on feeling nothing. And slowly, I would lose all sensation in my limbs. My feet and hands would go numb, then my legs, my arms, my stomach. And lastly, the burning in my chest would leave and th
e storm in my head grew quiet. My eyes would fall close, too heavy to lift. Not asleep, but away, a couple of inches above myself, weightless and untouchable.

  And afterwards, my body would feel like my head. Empty. Luckily, the stretching really helped.

  I shook the dirt off my clothes and turned my neck, the familiar popping sound of the cracking air pockets filling the cold night.

  And that was when I heard it. Another kind of crack. A snapping branch. A change in the wind.

  Chapter 2: Heather

  I jumped up, immediately turning towards the sound. My eyes found what I never thought I’d see again, my nose recognising the scent immediately. How did I miss this? Had I been this deep in my trance that even she couldn’t reach me?

  “Hey,” she whispered, her breath a white cloud in the shimmering winter night

  “Hey,” I whispered back, my voice hushed, so I wouldn’t startle her away.

  “It’s been a long time.”

  I nodded, only just able to swallow away the words that laid on the tip of my tongue. “It has.”

  She looked at me, her dark blue eyes staring right into mine. There was a strange calmness to her, a serenity she hadn’t had before. It was weird, unsettling, and yet I was relieved. She looked okay, even better, she looked good. She’d been safe.

  “How’ve you been?” I breathed, my eyes never leaving hers, her gaze captivating me.

  “Okay… I’ve been okay,” she breathed back, her voice nothing more than a hush in the coldness of the night.

  I nodded, yet my head seemed to stay still. “Good. Me too.”

  I smiled. Or at least I tried… Eventually one corner of my mouth pulled up in a grimace and looking into her eyes, I knew she understood this was the best I could do for now.

  “Why are you here?” she asked, her head cocked to the side curiously.

  This time I smiled a genuine smile. She was much more direct than usual, more abrupt. Her sentences were short, but not unfriendly. She was just… To the point. Like she had no time to waste, and yet, as if she had all the time in the world.

  She changed.

  My heart clenched as I wondered if she’d changed so much that her feelings for me were gone.

  “Adrianna?”

  I cringed. Why was she using my full name? I didn’t want her to use my full name. I didn’t want her to be distant… But I couldn’t ask her to be anything else than what she was. So I tried not to react, but despite myself, my voice betrayed me. “Yes?”

  “Why are you here?” she repeated her question, a hint of concern shimmering through her voice.

  “I meditate.”

  “I saw.”

  “Yes…”

  “That’s why you’re here?”

  “I did just say that, yes…”

  “So you’re not here for me?”

  “Errr… I… No?”

  “I might not have seen you in awhile, but you’re still a horrible liar.”

  I snorted and shook my head in amusement, lightly chuckling. Just hearing her voice, seeing her, was enough to make me feel better. I shrugged and rolled my eyes. “What can I say…”

  She returned my smile, her eyes softening. She looked around her, her breath colouring the sky white.

  “It’s cold.”

  I shrugged again. “I wouldn’t know.”

  “You don’t get cold?”

  “No, not easily no.”

  “Something vampiry or just you?” she asked, an eyebrow raised in amusement.

  I rolled my eyes, her smug tone so unusual and yet so adorable. There was definitely something different about her. Maybe it was the vibe she was giving off or the way she was looking at the world. It was more… Mature.

  “So… How’ve you been?” I asked, another cloudy breath leaving my mouth.

  “You already asked.”

  “I know… But I’m asking how you’ve really been.”

  “Oh…”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ve been… Okay… Had some explaining to do.”

  “To whom?”

  “The… Ehm…”

  “You still don’t trust me?”

  “I do.”

  “Yet you can’t tell me.”

  “The authorities. Down,” she blurted, making my eyes go wide as I processed that thought.

  “Down.”

  “Hmhmm…” she hummed, her eyes fixated on the ground.

  “Down?”

  “Hmhmmm…” she nodded as she scratched her head.

  “Will you explain that to me?”

  “Sure,” she agreed, her head still bobbing up and down. I smiled, waiting for an explanation, but only silence followed.

  “Well?”

  Heather looked up, one eyebrow raised. Damn, that stubborn girl.

  “Explain what you mean with authorities and down?”

  “Where I live. Down… With the rest of my people.”

  This time I raised an eyebrow, in confusion, disbelief, amazement, excitement.

  “The… The rest of your… Your people?” I stuttered, my hands twitching nervously. “You mean there are more… More humans?!”

  “Yes.”

  Damn her and her short answers.

  “How many?” I asked, my excitement filling the cold air. Finding one human already turned me ecstatic, the idea of more made me all shaky and giddy.

  “How many? Gah, I don’t know the exact number… Thousands?”

  “Thousands?!” I screamed, my voice trumpeting through the silence of the falling night.

  “Yes, correct. Also, no need to yell,” she said, casually inspecting her fingernails, deliberately not engaging because she knew it would wind me up.

  “Thousands,” I whispered loudly, the excitement never leaving my voice. She nodded as she cocked her head to the side.

  “You thought I was the only living human left?”

  “Well… Yes…”

  “Where did you think I came from then?” she asked curiously. I shrugged as I deflected her question.

  “I don’t know,” I muttered, knowing well why I hadn’t given it a proper thought. The idea of her being alone without a proper home to return to made it easier to keep her with me, kept my selfish desires at bay, shushed my conscious. Knowing that I was keeping her from her loved ones, her home, was just a thought too hard to bear, so I kept it quiet in the back of my mind.

  “Ade?”

  I scratched the side of my head. “I really don’t know… I didn’t want to think about it…” I admitted, my cheeks blushing red in shame.

  “Aha.”

  A breath slipped from my lips as my mind tumbled around in turmoil. I replayed her words in my head and a big grin stretched across my face. She slipped up and used my name.

  “Why are you smiling?” she asked, an eyebrow raised in confusion.

  I chuckled lightly as I studied her confused face. She must not have realised how the endearment had rolled unconsciously off her tongue.

  “Ade? An explanation, please?”

  “Ade,” I whispered my name into the silent atmosphere.

  “Yes…? That’s you, remember?” she said slowly, a big frown on her face.

  “You called me Ade,” I smiled, the butterflies, after so much time, finally stirring back up.

  “I always call you Ade, don’t I?”

  “You didn’t a minute ago. You used Adrianna,” I sulked, very aware it hadn’t been an accident. She was smart enough to realise the meaning behind it and insightful enough to know I knew too. Nonchalantly, she inspected her fingernails. “Correct. I was trying it out.”

  “Oh… Trying it out…?” I trailed off, wincing from the iciness in her tone. And knowing Heather, it was deliberate.

  “Yes. Adrianna is your name, right?” She asked, a question that needed no answer.

  I looked into her eyes, all warmth and emotion void. Maybe I hadn’t made that big of an impact on her after all…

  “I guess it is,” I muttered, n
ot wanting to tell her how much it hurt that things had changed so easily for her.

  “There you go.”

  “Yeah…” My words barely a whisper, hushed by the darkness of the night that had fallen upon us.

  My… I meant, Heather, stared up into the sky and awkwardly scratched the back of her head. She pointed with her thumb over her shoulder and shrugged. “I have to go… You know… Home.”

  Home. A while back, home meant my place.

  “Ah… Yes… I… Err… Sure…” I stuttered, my mind screaming, trying to find the right words so she wouldn’t go, so she would stay. But my body wasn’t obeying and suddenly, stringing a proper sentence together was the hardest task I’d ever had.

  “Yes… Okay… It was nice seeing you again, Adrianna… Goodbye.” Heather nodded as she turned around, her hands tucked deep in her pockets. With her back towards me, a little bit of my courage returned. Before I knew it, words rolled off my tongue. Words I hadn’t even meant to say.

  “Did they miss you?”

  Slowly, she turned back around. An emotion I didn’t understand swirled through her eyes. “Excuse me?”

  She heard me, I knew she did. She was just double checking if I was indeed asking what I was asking. She stared me right in the eye as if trying to make me take my words back. But I would do no such thing. No, I balled my hands into fists and stood my ground.

  “Your friends, parents, family… Did they miss you?”

  She stared at me for five seconds as conflict flashed through her eyes. Reluctantly, she nodded. “Yes, they did.”

  “Were they concerned?”