by Erin Zak
I ran up to them, panting, covered in sand, and smiled. “Thank you so much,” I said as the girl handed over Myrtle’s leash. She was going crazy still, even though that particular flock was long gone.
The girl laughed. “No problem at all. I heard you yelling and figured you needed a hand.”
“Um, yeah, she doesn’t listen when she catches a scent. Must be the hunting dog in her or something.” I pushed the loose hairs that had fallen out of my ponytail away from my face and looked at the girl. She was tall and slender with this super dark red hair. She had a purple streak toward the front of the part down the middle. And she had a small piercing in the right side of her nose. She looked like the epitome of cool.
“I’m Peggy,” she said as she reached out her hand. “Well, Margaret, but everyone calls me Peggy.”
I took her hand. “I’m Beth. It’s nice to meet you.”
She winked when we shook hands. “You’re not from around here, are you?”
“No.” I looked out at the water, then back at her. The group of people she was with were getting curious. “I’m from Savannah.”
“Well, welcome to St. Pete.”
“Thanks.”
“Pegs, who is that?” The boy who asked came walking over. He didn’t have a shirt on, and maybe for the first time ever, I couldn’t take my eyes off his muscles. “And who is this?” He asked as he bent down and started petting Myrtle.
“This is Beth,” Peggy answered. “I think I heard her yelling for ‘Myrtle.’ Is that correct?”
I smiled and nodded. “Yes, that’s right.”
The boy looked up at me; his brown hair was long, but it was pulled back into a messy bun. He had a closely trimmed beard, and I was absolutely sure that they both were at least twenty-five. “Hello there, Beth,” he said, and when he smiled, I felt it in my knees.
“Hey,” I replied. I felt like such an idiot.
“I’m Brock.” He motioned behind him. “These are the rest of the guys. They’re not important.”
I giggled. I honest to God giggled. What the hell was wrong with me?
Peggy rolled her eyes. “He’s the charmer of the group. Don’t worry. I won’t let him get to you on your first day.” She nudged him with her hip while he was bent down, and he lost his balance and fell to the sand. She laughed as he gasped, and I couldn’t help but join in. “How old are you, Beth? You look like pretty young.”
“I guess that’s a compliment?” I shrugged. “I’m sixteen. I’ll be seventeen in about three months.”
“Oh, wow, that’s how old I am. Well, seventeen. I’ll be eighteen in a few weeks. Brock here is eternally fifteen. No age identification required.”
“Fuck off, Pegs,” Brock said with a deep voice when he finally stopped brushing the sand from his muscles. “I’ll be eighteen at the end of May.”
“End of June for me.”
“How long are you going to be in town?” Brock asked. He grinned at me, and my entire body flushed with heat.
I looked at Peggy first, and she was still smiling, so I hoped this wasn’t her boyfriend or something that I would eventually find out about and be disappointed. “I’m not really sure,” I answered. “At least through the end of this week.”
“Great!” Peggy smiled. “You can come see us perform at the Rusty Nail tomorrow night.”
“She probably has plans already, Pegs. It’s Saturday night.” Brock smiled. God. His smile… “I mean, do you?”
“I do not have plans.” Did I? Shit. I would cancel whatever Mom or Jackie thought I had to do with them. That was for sure.
“Then you can come!” Peggy put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “I can come get you if you want? Or you can bring whomever you want. It’s an all-ages show. Whatever you want to do.” She reached out. She had a tattoo of a cardinal on the underside of her forearm. “Give me your cell, and I’ll put my number in it.”
“Put my number in it, too,” Brock whispered as he leaned into Peggy’s space.
She rolled her eyes again but was still smiling. The more Peggy spoke, the more I realized how pretty she was. Her purple streak was growing on me, too. “Okay. We’re both in there.” She handed my phone back and then added, “I texted myself from there, so I have your number, too.”
“That’s cool.” I smiled. “It was really great running into you guys. I was going kind of stir crazy.”
“Oh, geez, I’ve been there.” Peggy laughed. Her voice and laugh were so smooth. Like beach glass would sound. “Where are you staying?”
I pointed to Jackie’s complex. Her eyes went wide. “That’s a sweet complex. Must have some money.”
“Oh, no, it’s my—” I stopped. What was she? She wasn’t my mom. “It’s my, um,” I paused again. “Jackie.”
“Your Jackie?”
I shook my head. “It’s a long story.”
“Maybe you’ll tell me one day,” Peggy said softly. The lift of her voice at the end of her sentence was so hopeful that it made my stomach flip. I couldn’t help but nod. The smile she gave me was beautiful.
“C’mon, Pegs, we gotta go,” Brock said as he nudged her. “Beth, we’ll see you tomorrow, right?”
“Yes, absolutely,” I replied. I watched as Brock threw his arm over Peggy’s shoulders as they walked away. I literally had no idea what to make of them. Were they a couple or not? I hoped not.
When I got back to the condo, Jackie was on the balcony, and Mom was nowhere to be found. Myrtle sprinted over to Jackie and jumped into her lap. I watched and chuckled to myself when Jackie finally started petting her, and she promptly curled into a ball on her lap. I knew Jackie would eventually warm up to her.
I found Mom in her bedroom reading a book. She put it down when I leaned against the door frame. “How was the walk?” she asked. Her voice sounded different. Not worse but different.
“It was really good. I actually met some people on the beach. They’re my age. They want me to go to a show tomorrow night. I think a couple of them are in a band.”
The grin that stretched across my mom’s lips was incredible. “That is so great, honey. I am so happy for you.”
“Yeah, I’m super excited.” I pushed off the door frame. “I’m going to go get a snack. Do you need anything?” I watched as she contemplated it, then shook her head. After grabbing a banana and LaCroix from the fridge, I walked out onto the balcony and Jackie looked at me, one eyebrow raised.
“According to what you see here, it would appear that I like dogs.” She had her hand on Myrtle’s body, and she smoothed it across her fur a couple times. “You would be wrong to believe that.”
I started to laugh. “Oh, really?”
“Yes, really,” she replied. The twinkle in her eyes said otherwise.
When I sat next to her on the outdoor couch and propped my feet on the ottoman, I noticed we both had our legs crossed left over right. Little things that we did the same made me feel good, validated, as if she really was supposed to be in my life and I in hers. Of course, then I noticed the Band-Aid on her knee. “What the hell happened?” I pointed to it.
“I fell on my run this morning.”
“You fell? How old are you? Six?”
“Shut up,” Jackie said with a laugh. “I’m a klutz, okay? Don’t judge me.”
I laughed. “That’s so weird.”
“Why? People are klutzes all the time!”
“Oh, I know. I mean because I am, too. Why do you think I don’t play sports?”
“But you ride that damn longboard.”
“Do you know how many times I’ve fallen off?” I bent my leg and showed off the numerous scars. “Oh, and the pièce de résistance,” I said with a smile when I leaned forward and hiked up my tank top. “Do you see that scar?” Jackie’s fingers landed on my skin. It was the first motherly touch I had felt from her, and it gave me chills.
“What the hell happened, Beth? It’s six inches long.” Her voice sounded truly concerned.
I lean
ed back onto the couch cushions and shrugged. “A half pipe trick that went horribly wrong. I had a concussion, sixty-five stitches, and a mom who wouldn’t let me ride my skateboard for three months.”
“I’d have been the same way. That’s dangerous.”
“So, should I ban you from running then?” I smiled at her when I leaned my head back on the cushion. She glanced at me and did a double take. Then she looked back out at the gulf. Her profile was so perfect. Like, come on. How did someone so beautiful have a kid that was so not?
Jackie laughed. “I should ban myself. Or not run when I’m upset.”
“Why are you upset? What happened?”
I listened to her take a deep breath and say, “Sigh.”
I laughed. “Sigh, eh?”
“Yes. Sigh.”
“Not gonna tell me what happened?”
“No.”
I reached over and rubbed Myrtle’s head. She opened her eyes briefly before promptly dozing off again. “Little Myrtle loves you.”
“Yeah, well, whatever. She’s okay, I guess. For a dog.” Jackie smiled after her words, so I knew she was joking.
“So,” I said, knowing there was a need for a subject change. “What do you know about the Rusty Nail?”
“It’s a gay bar downtown. I haven’t been in ages. But they have open mic nights and all-ages shows. At least they used to. Why?”
A gay bar? What? “Oh, okay.”
“Hello? Why?”
“I met a couple people on the beach. They were my age, and they’re doing a show tomorrow night there. They invited me to go.”
“Hey, that’s awesome! It’s a really cool spot.” Jackie must have sensed the confusion on my face. “Which one of them did you think was cute?”
“The guy.” I didn’t even bother beating around the bush. “I mean, the girl was pretty, too, but…”
Jackie reached over and put her hand on my shoulder. “Rule number one: just because they’re playing at a gay bar does not mean they’re gay.”
“Okay.”
“It could mean that, though.”
“Great.”
“You’ll be able to tell.”
“Um. How?”
Jackie laughed. “Do you need me to go with you?”
I kind of wanted her to go. Was that weird? “Kind of?”
“I’ll go with you.” Jackie looked away from me. “Are you inviting your mom?”
I sighed. Did I have to? “I guess. Will she even want to go?”
“She might. It’d get her out of the house. Her bruise can be covered up with makeup now.” Her eyes looked so sad, though.
“What happened between the two of you?” I asked, and the way Jackie’s head snapped toward me and the look displayed on her face made me think that something really big happened.
“Nothing. Why?”
“You’re a horrible liar.”
Jackie reached up and pushed her hair out of her face. She didn’t have it pulled back at all, but even wild and wavy it looked good. “Nothing happened.” She paused and glanced at me. “I think I overstepped my boundaries, though.”
“Oh, God, Jackie, what’d you do?”
“I didn’t do anything. I told her that I think she’s stronger than she realizes.”
“Well, that’s not bad at all.” I was confused. “I thought you were going to say you tried to kiss her or something, and I was going to be like, ‘um, Jackie, she’s straight.’” The forced laughter that came out of Jackie’s mouth was unmistakable. I raised an eyebrow. “Jackie?”
“I don’t like your mom like that, kiddo,” she reassured me. Or was she trying to convince herself of that? I had no idea.
“Okay.”
“I don’t. I promise.”
“I wouldn’t be mad at you if you did, you know?”
Jackie froze. I think I stunned her into silence.
“I wouldn’t. She’s beautiful, and she’s kind, and she still has a pretty awesome body. I mean, I don’t check out my mom, but I’d kill for boobs as big as hers.” Jackie chuckled at me. “Well? I would! But I don’t think she swings that way. It’d be dumb to even try.”
“For sure,” Jackie replied with a voice that sounded way weaker than I think she meant. She looked away from me and cleared her throat. “So, the Rusty Nail?” I could hear the smile in her voice. “I’ve had some good times there.”
“Oh, really?” I asked as I leaned forward and looked back at her. She was grinning like an idiot. “Do tell!”
“Absolutely not!”
We both laughed, and I sat back and leaned into her. “So, this guy’s name is Brock.”
“Brock?”
“Yes. It sounds gay, doesn’t it?”
Jackie raised a bottle of beer I didn’t know she was drinking, and her eyebrows lifted before she drank.
“That was enough of an answer.”
“Hey,” she said, and she pointed her beer bottle toward the gulf. “A lot of people have thought I was straight. And I’m not. Don’t judge a book by its cover.”
“True. You look very straight.”
“Exactly. I guess?”
I laughed when Jackie furrowed her brow and then shrugged. “Actually, I think him and this Peggy girl are together.”
“Ooo, Peggy?” Jackie smiled at me. “My main character in my next book is named Margaret.”
“That might be a sign! Maybe she’s the gay one!”
Another laugh spilled from Jackie’s mouth. “That could definitely be it.”
I laid my head on Jackie’s shoulder and breathed in deep. “Thank you so much, Jackie.”
“Stop thanking me,” she whispered, and then I felt her kiss the top of my head. It felt so good. It brought tears to my eyes. I didn’t think Myrtle was the only one Jackie was warming up to.
* * *
JACKIE
Everything about that day totally sucked. Every single thing. From me not being able to catch my breath on my run to the way Susan talked to me to the way I stumbled, tripped, fell, and scraped my fucking knee on the way back to my condo. It all sucked.
Even the shower I took sucked. My knee was killing me. The scrape wasn’t really that bad, but I thought I actually sprained it, which pissed me off because I’d have to take some time off from running and playing volleyball: my two biggest stress relievers. Well, masturbating, but I was not going to touch myself with them only a few hundred feet away from my bedroom. No way!
I wiped the condensation from the mirror and peered at my reflection. I looked horrible. The last remnants of my tan had finally faded earlier in the month, so all I had now were the leftover freckles along my shoulders and the bridge of my nose. I hated those stupid freckles. I did have a slight tan line from my sports bra, but that was it. I needed some sun, and I needed it fast.
But that wasn’t going to happen while they were here.
God.
They.
Dammit.
What was I going to do? I could not handle these feelings for Susan any longer. I clearly needed to fuck them away with someone else. Maybe I should call Dana? While she wasn’t necessarily the perfect option, she was most definitely a sure thing and one hell of a distraction. I could go to her apartment, and I could push her up against a wall and get my fingers inside her, and she could bury her face into my wetness, and it would be perfect. There was nothing better than making Susan come.
Dana! Not Susan! Fuck!
My brain was already replacing fantasies with a picture of Susan’s face. That was not good. Not good at all.
I pulled the towel from my hair and let the wet locks fall to my shoulders. I ran my fingers through them and found some product to hopefully keep the frizz at bay. Of course, it was Aveda.
Which made me think of Dana. And then, of course, Susan. Kissing Susan. Making her forget everythi—
I rolled my eyes at myself in the mirror. Yep, I needed to get laid.
I quickly dried off, threw on a pair of khaki shorts and a t
ank top. No bra. I didn’t have time for a bra. I sprayed myself with perfume and didn’t even put makeup on. My hair would dry in the car with the wind.
* * *
The drive to Dana’s was much faster than normal. No traffic and yeah, I sped. So what? I didn’t get pulled over, and I didn’t even see a cop. Good thing, though, because my breasts were out of control in the tank top I had pulled on. Why was I so driven in that moment?
After I climbed the stairs to her apartment, I raised my hand to knock on her door, and I froze. It suddenly occurred to me that she might have someone else over. My stomach started to twist. How was I going to explain myself in my current, haphazardly dressed state? She was going to know. Or at least have some sort of idea.
“Fuck it,” I mumbled as I knocked. It took her a little bit longer than normal, but then again, she had no idea I was coming over.
The door swung open, and there she stood in short shorts and a baggy T-shirt. Her hair was an absolute mess. I smiled and shrugged, and she returned the gesture. “Did you finish your book?”
“Um, no.”
“But you’re clearly wanting a distraction,” she said as she motioned to my clothes. “Are you not?”
I didn’t know what came over me, aside from the need to get Susan out of my system, but I clenched my fists and lunged at her. I somehow managed to get the door closed behind me, but as I pushed her back into the wall by the door, I heard her moan into my mouth, and I felt the way it reverberated against my tongue and holy fucking shit, it was so hot.
Her hands were up under my tank top and on my bare breasts before I even realized what she was doing. She pulled away from me and looked into my eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“You’re kissing me weird.”
“No, I’m not. Everything’s fine.”
“Okay,” she said softly, and she leaned forward to kiss me again. And that was when I knew what she meant. Because the second her lips hit mine again, all I saw was Susan. Her lips, her tongue, her hands on my breasts, her voice in my ear saying my name. I tried to push the vision out of my head, but I couldn’t get her to leave.
I pulled away from Dana and took a step back. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
