Rocked

by Maya Hughes

  “Okay, talk to you later and don’t be afraid to let people know what it is you want or you’ll be waiting forever to actually get anything.”

  “Bye,” she said, ending the call. She put the phone on the table in front of her and Eric tentatively sat in the chair across from the couch.

  “How was the other bus?”

  “Loud, messy and covered in alcohol as well as other things.”

  “Did you manage to catch up to the chick I saw you with earlier?”

  “Honey? No, why would I? Lyx had already disappeared with her somewhere once I got to the bus.”

  “I didn’t think you’d be back so early.”

  “Keira, just ask me what you want to ask me. It’s late and I’m tired,” he said, rubbing his hands over his face.

  “I don’t have anything to ask you,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “Nothing at all?” he said, his eyes boring into hers.

  “No,” she said, standing firm. Letting him win at this would only set her up as the jealous girlfriend and she wasn’t even his girlfriend.

  “Great, then I’m going to bed,” he said, pushing up from the table. “You coming?”

  “No, I’ll sleep out here.”

  “Fine, I’m too tired to play games with you, Keira.”

  “I’m not the one playing games, Eric. I’m not the one that almost kissed me and then ran off to the whore master bus to do who knows what with who knows who.”

  “What do you want to know?!”

  “I not demanding any answers out of you Eric.”

  “You’re just going to be pissed about what you think I did over there. Ever think that maybe I needed to blow off some steam because there is a stunning, talented woman that I sleep next to night after night that has told me repeatedly that she doesn’t want anything to do with me in anything other than a professional manner? Think maybe I needed to grab a beer and hang out with some guys and talk shit for a while to clear my head.”

  “Eric, I—”

  “No, Keira. You set your boundaries. You told me how this was going to be, but if you want this to go any further past professional, you’re going to have to tell me straight up. I’m not going to play games and I’m not going to try to force myself on you. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “So, do you have anything to say to me?” he said, standing there next to the booth with his arms crossed in front of him.

  “No,” she squeaked. He threw up his hands and stormed off back into the bedroom slamming the door. She collapsed back onto the couch and covered her face with both hands. What had she done? Why couldn’t she just say it? Because then it would prove all the shit everyone had said about her? That she was only there because he wanted to screw her. That she would once again be riding on the coat tails of a man she was with to try to get ahead. She couldn’t be that person, but she couldn’t resist Eric for much longer and once she was finally ready to fess up, would he even want her anymore?

  Keira was slowly driving him insane. Laying next to him night after night, but not being able to touch her beyond wrapping his arms around her when she inevitably snuggled up to him made him want to pull his hair out. The number of cold showers he’d taken on this tour had to singlehandedly be responsible for a drought in some small country somewhere.

  She couldn’t just admit what was going on between them and let it happen. All these roadblocks she’d thrown up had him wondering if he wasn’t just a nice distraction to her. An ends to a means. The more time he spent with her the harder it was to not grab her and kiss her like his life and sanity depended on it. To complicate things even more, Talia’s text messages now that he was getting media coverage pissed him off. He deleted them all immediately, but the fact that she thought she could just weasel her way back in with him pissed him off. The woman he wanted slept inches from him at night and he couldn’t get her to admit what she felt. Add to that the thumbs up texts from the hoodies about the spin on things with Keira, it made him want to crush his phone.

  Had he been tempted to go onto the Uncharted bus and maybe get a little attention from some hanger on? Yes, what man wouldn’t be when women were throwing themselves at him, but the minute he stepped onto the bus, he knew it wasn’t going to happen. None of those women held a candle to her. So, he hung back, had a few beers with Grayson and maybe played to the jealousy he saw her showing off earlier.

  All he needed was for her to say the word. Completely befuddled by her, he decided to turn to the one woman who’d never let him down and he could count on one hundred percent. He tapped on her name and he couldn’t hold back his smile.

  “Hey,” she said, completely out of breath.

  “Hey mom, what’s up? Do you have some time?”

  “You know I always do for you. I should ask you if you have time. You never seem to call too often. What’s going on?”

  “There’s this girl—“ He heard her groan on the other line.

  “Eric, what have I said about getting involved with these women on tour. I warned you about Talia,” she said, going off on her long tirade about how she’d tried to steer him in the right direction, but he didn’t listen. And he hadn’t. His mom wasn’t the kind of mom who hated a woman on sight because she was with him, but she couldn’t stand Talia from the moment he met her. That should have been the first red flag.

  “It’s not like that. She’s not a musician. She’s a photographer and she’s working with me on this tour and my solo one if things work out.”

  “What’s the problem?”

  “She won’t let her guard down and I don’t know what to do about it.”

  “Maybe give her time, plus you musicians with your mercurial moods. I’m sure you’re also hard to handle sometimes.”

  “Is that how it was with dad?” he said. She immediately clammed up like she always did anytime he brought up his dad. He had to imagine it was hard being run out on, which is why he always tried to be there for her “Sorry, mom.”

  “No, it’s fine. It was like that a lot with your father. I never knew what kind of mood he was in. What kind of things he was up to and once I found out I wished I hadn’t known. But I know you’re nothing like that. All I can say honey is give her time if you really like her. If she doesn’t come to her senses then maybe you need to move onto greener pastures of someone who can appreciate you.” He didn’t like the sound of that and he knew whenever he touched Keira it set them off in a way he’d never experience with another woman, but he wasn’t going to tell his mom that. Smithy wouldn’t be any help, he’d just tell Eric to bang his way through as many women as he could because the party only lasted so long.

  But after only a few months with this band he was over it. Over the craziness and the women. Spending the night with his arms around Keira, breathing her in and feeling her warmth had inspired him more than any number of groupies that paraded through the buses every night of the tour. He just didn’t know how much longer he’d wait, before he gave up on her ever coming to her senses.

  19

  Sitting in the booth in the living area of their tour bus with her laptop on the table, Keira tried her best not to let her bouncing knee shake the computer and the video feed. The man in the hoodie sitting in front of his computer flipping through her photos had her stomach all twisted up in knots. Having a professor evaluate your work in college is one thing, but at least you don’t have to sit there and watch them flip through things. She’d gotten the pictures from the night and emailed them over to Red Hoodie. His face twisted in an indiscernible expression. Biting her lip, Keira promptly took it out when she glanced at her own video showing in the corner of their video conference.

  “They are okay, but nothing special,” he said, laying them down on the table in front of him. “Honestly, Keira, we hoped for something more. These are fine,” he said, gesturing to the prints on the table in front of him. “They seem run of the mill. We want something that pops, something that shows us more about Eric t
han just him up on stage.”

  “I thought some behind the scenes photos, showing him practicing would be a nice treat for the fans,” she said, trying to sell it. He tilted his head and made a non-committal sound.

  “It’s not that, it’s just that I’m not getting much in the form of emotion from these. We want the fans to really connect to him. To feel like they are seeing something special. These don’t feel special. Try again.”

  “Okay,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady. “Thanks for giving me another shot.” Her voice wavering slightly.

  “I’ll see what you’ve got for me from tonight’s show. We want to start getting these printed to sell at the shows, so I need you to step it up, Keira.” She gulped down a swallow.

  “Of course, I completely understand. I’ll show you what I can do and I’ll send those over to you as soon as I can.”

  “Speak with you tomorrow. My assistant will arrange it,” he said, ending the call before she could even say goodbye. She’d screwed this up. Glancing over at the bag on the floor, Keira picked up the camera bag and pulled the old SLR her dad had given her out of the bag. It had been a long time since she’d used it, She popped open one of the film canisters in her bag, the chemical smell hitting her as she rolled the film in her hands and loaded it into the camera. Adjusting all the settings, she took a few pictures around the tour bus to make sure she had the lighting and aperture right.

  The last time she’d used this camera had been before the winter break she’d taken to work on her sketches and paintings. Her ex had said that her camera work was amateurish and to focus on hand created things. Stupid to take what he thought to heart and even worse that she hadn’t picked up her camera since then. She’d always enjoyed taking pictures, but never really felt like she could capture the same things she could capture with her drawing. She grabbed her film and digital cameras and headed out to find Eric.

  The crew stormed around in the parking lot, moving in big pieces of equipment that they would use for Uncharted’s stage show that evening. Most of the stage pieces traveled about three days ahead of their buses, but there were still things to be assembled and fixed on the day. Crouching down, she took shots of the roadies working hard, moving equipment and cables and instruments. Trying to stay out of the way, she tested out the settings and made adjustments once she looked at the photos on the digital. Standing and moving closer to the building, she snapped pictures of Eric sitting on the curb outside of the stadium’s back entrance. He scribbled into a note pad and had the pencil in his teeth as he plucked a few chords on his guitar and tapped his feet.

  Snapping multiple photos of him completely unaware that she was there, she didn’t know what he was writing about, but it was obviously painful. The emotions were written all over his face and she almost felt like a creeper spying on him while he was taking whatever musical journey he was going on getting this song down on paper. Someone pushed through the back door and he glanced behind him. Caden and Grayson came pouring out, probably finished with their sound check and plopped down beside him.

  He quickly closed his notebook and caught her eye. The smile that spread across his face lit her up from the inside and the belly flutters were back in full force. You’d think waking up next to him would give her the fill she needed of him every day, but when she saw him playing the guitar or writing some lyrics, it did something to her. Watching someone create something they were passionate about transformed them in a way that was hard to put a finger on. A spark glowed inside them and she hoped she’d be able to take what she saw through her viewfinder and capture it in her photos.

  “Hey, can I get a group shot?” she asked, approaching the guys sitting on the curb. Of course, Caden made a ridiculous face, while Grayson just put his arm around his brother and Eric, one side of his mouth turned up a smidge. That was stretching his funny bone to its furthest extent. Crouching again, she got on their level and took a few shots of the trio with her digital.

  “Thanks guys!” she said, checking on the shots in her camera.

  “Feel free to bring that camera onto our bus anytime you’d like, Keira,” Caden said, licking his lips before bursting out laughing.

  “No, thanks. I have no idea what it would take to sanitize the lens after everything I saw up there.”

  “Oh, come on, don’t be such a prude. We’re not always entertaining ladies after the show. We’ll invite you for a night that we’re having a scrabble tournament on the next tour. Maybe show the fans a different side of us,” he said, gazing up at her with what she thought was meant to be his most angelic face.

  “I’m not a prude, Caden. I just have no desire to see some groupies juggling your balls.”

  “What’s it with your obsession with my balls, huh, Keira?” He said laughing as she rolled her eyes. Grayson let out a snort. She lifted her camera to snap a quick shot of his once in a blue moon smile. He grimaced once he realized what she’d done. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone that you have smile muscles Gray.”

  “You better not, I have a reputation to maintain,” he said, crossing his giant arms over his hulking chest. She didn’t imagine that a bass guitar was that heavy, but it almost seemed like his muscles would get in the way of his playing. Almost, but she’d seen him up on stage and seen the way he played, those things did not get in the way.

  “Are you guys ready for the show tonight? What number is this?” she said, dropping her camera around her neck.

  “I don’t even know, maybe the twentieth show? What city are we in?” Caden turned to Gray and shrugged.

  “Quebec. We’re in Quebec. I think. It all starts to run together, especially when you’re not driving yourself.”

  “We remember those days. Stuck in between equipment in the back of the van, driving all night after a gig. Those were some good times,” Caden said, wistfully.

  “Right, sure. You complained the entire time,” Gray said, dryly.

  “That’s because I was always squashed next to the Incredible Hulk!” He punched his brother on the shoulder and flinched when Gray pulled his fist back before wrapping his arm around Caden’s neck and giving him a noogie. She wished she could have gotten that shot, but it seemed like these were the types of intimate moments that might make them uncomfortable sharing.

  “Who do you think had to do all the heavy lifting when it came to the equipment? Those amps weren’t going to move themselves.”

  “Fine, fine, your hulking mass did come in handy, but I bet it sucks being stuck in our bunks now!” He laughed, slapping his knee.

  “True. So, how much longer do we have you two with us?” Gray turned to Eric, who was smiling at the brotherly antics. He quickly glanced up at her looking a little lost.

  “A few more until our last one. We’re with you for a few more nights.” Wow, it was time already. She hadn’t even realized. Things had been moving so quickly, they’d been back and forth across the US/Canadian border so many times that she wasn’t even sure which country they were in until someone mentioned it. That meant she’d be on tour with Eric alone starting soon. No one else, no distractions.

  “We’ll be sad to see you go,” Gray said, throwing his arm around Eric. “Always nice to have some new blood on the tour. Keep us on our toes, makes sure we don’t get complacent. I think at this point there might be more people coming to the shows to see you than us.”

  “Nah, that’s not true,” Eric said, a scarlet flush creeping into his cheeks.

  “You’re not the one up on stage headlining and seeing empty seats. We need to finish the new album soon.”

  “How much do you have finished?”

  “Nada, our song producing overlord Owen has had a massive case of lyrical block since forever.”

  “Yeah, so he’s drowning his sorrows in booze and pussy. Frankly, if I thought it would work, I’d do the same, but it’s been almost two years and we haven’t done anything. Starting to get antsy,” Caden said, chiming in. The brothers exchanged a look and turne
d back to the two of them. “Anyway, you should probably get in there Eric. They need you for sound check.” The guys stood and Keira went to follow Eric into the stadium. Gray gently touched her elbow.

  “I’d appreciate it, if you didn’t do anything with that last picture you took,” he said with a serious look, but she could see the red flush on his cheeks.

  “Sure, Gray. Don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t do anything with any of these pictures without your permission.” He nodded and let go of her arm. For such a huge guy, you wouldn’t think he’d be so worried about anyone seeing him smile. But who was she to judge. She’d make sure that one stayed locked up tight. Eric held the door open for her and they traversed the bowels of the stadium and made their way up to the stage. Even after all these weeks, she was never able to find her way to the stage or back to the buses without an escort. She still didn’t know how everyone else didn’t get lost along the way.

  “Here’s a tip,” Eric whispered, leaning into her. His breath on her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “Follow the tape,” he said, pointing at the tape on the walls behind her. Neon green tape stuck to the wall had arrows pointing in this direction with “STAGE” printed on them. She pushed his shoulder.

  “And here I was thinking you were some kind of navigating genius,” she said laughing.

  “Nope, but I’ve gotten lost one too many times backstage to not have figured out a few tricks of my own.”

  “Eric, we’re ready when you’re ready,” called out a disembodied voice over the PA. Since it was just a sound check, he grabbed her hand and pulled her out onto the stage with him. She sat on the stage in front of an amp that wasn’t on and snapped a bunch of pictures of them trying to get everything right. Eric had to go up and change around some of the cables for the foot petals he used to mix the song live and rearrange a couple of things. It wasn’t until he was three songs in that she realized she’d been so mesmerized by his singing that she hadn’t taken a single photo since they’d been on stage.