My Anti-Valentine

by Danielle Allen

“This is the bullshit I was talking about,” he said gruffly. “It’s always some unnecessary drama with her. I haven’t talked to her in more than two years and she is really coming at me like I want her.”

  “Why does she think you being single has anything to do with her? Has she always been this egotistical?” I wondered. “I remember her being a little self-involved. But I don’t remember this level of…” I let my sentence trail off and I gestured to the phone. When I noticed his clean-cut jaw tensing again, I knew it was going to be a long night if I didn’t come up with something. “You know what? Fuck her! This is what she wants, Manny. She wants you to be thinking about her which is why she tried to make it seem like you’re still hung up on her. Nobody told her ass that you were still pining for her. She wants you to be. So, you do the opposite. You choose not to react to her. You have a choice. Choose not to feed into her delusions.”

  He nodded slowly as he pulled up to the reception hall. “You’re right. This is what she did when we were married, too. She is”—he shook his head— “the fucking worst.”

  “We should make her eat her words, you know?”

  “Oh, I know.” The gruffness of his voice conveyed how serious he was. “And I hope she chokes on them. I stopped wanting her when we separated and this whole text is bullshit.”

  My lips curled upward. “Yes, we know that.” I pulled my lipstick from my clutch and reapplied. “But what I’m saying is that her whole delusion is based on the idea that you’re single and pining for her.”

  “And if she texted me that shit, she’s going to spend the entire night telling everybody who will listen to her that same bullshit.”

  I dropped the lipstick in my bag and cocked my head to the side. “But what if you walked in there with me on your arm and you weren’t single.”

  His eyes lit up and then dimmed again. “Everyone knows we’re just friends. They’ll blow up our spot.”

  “Yeah, but she doesn’t know. And I think she’s way too egotistical to ask anyone about it once it’s been put out there.”

  He rubbed his chin. “Maybe this could work.”

  I nodded. “It will work.” I narrowed my eyes. “Valentine’s Day is a shitty day for me. I will not let her make it a shitty day for you, too.”

  He smirked. “I appreciate that.” He paused for a moment, looking around before he made eye contact with me. “Okay, let’s do it. But Alyssa”—he made a face— “you have to sell it.”

  “I’m good. You have to sell it.”

  “You can’t act for shit,” he pointed out in amusement. He reached over and grabbed my arm. “I love you, but you’re a terrible liar.”

  “Not when I’m pissed. And I’m pissed.”

  He chuckled. “Okay, looks like you’re my Valentine.”

  “Anti-Valentine,” I corrected.

  “Well, let’s go sell this shit.”

  We strolled into the reception hall with the cocktail hour already in progress. He put his arm around my shoulders.

  Elbowing him, I shifted out of his grasp. “Emmanuel!” I patted my hair, making sure it was still full and even. “You’re smushing my fro!”

  He burst out laughing. “This is why this isn’t going to work,” he whispered, looking around.

  “You just came in real hot!” I reached for his hand, intertwining our fingers. “You have to stop laughing for this to work.”

  Still grinning, he shook his head. “This is going to blow up in our faces.”

  “No, it’s not,” I hissed, bumping him with my hip. “Act natural!”

  We walked into the main ballroom and I stopped in my tracks. My eyes widened at the disgustingly over-the-top red, white, and pink decorations. The church was so well put together that I was taken aback by the reception décor.

  “Our table is over there, in the far corner,” Emmanuel told me, squeezing my hand.

  “They really doubled down on the theme, didn’t they?”

  “Yeah. Marquis said Robin could do what she wanted if he could pick the honeymoon spot. And it looks like she went all out.”

  We maneuvered our way through the growing crowd of weddinggoers finding their tables. I kept my head on a swivel as I searched for Nicole. Every few feet, Emmanuel was stopped and greeted. So when we finally made it to our table, the others were already there.

  “Hi,” I said as we sat down. “How’s everyone doing?”

  A chorus of goods and fines rained down from the friendly faces around us.

  Emmanuel seemed to know most of them, so he introduced me. “…and this is Alyssa.” He looked at me, his eyes dancing. “My girlfriend.”

  The petite woman sitting next to me gasped. “Girlfriend?!” She put her hands to her cheeks. “Oh, thank God!”

  “That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting, but I think I rather like it,” I joked, causing everyone else to laugh.

  “I’m sorry,” she giggled. “I’m Julia. Cousin of the bride.”

  “I’m Alyssa. Girlfriend of the cousin of the groom.” I smiled. “While I loved the enthusiasm regarding our relationship, I am a bit curious as to why you yelled thank God.”

  “I was afraid the rumors were true.”

  “Rumors?” Emmanuel asked. “What rumors?”

  I was still facing the woman next to me, but I could hear the tension in his voice. I glanced over my shoulder and took his hand and clasped it between mine.

  Julia’s little button nose crinkled. “Nicole has been telling people that you haven’t been in a relationship since you two broke up because you haven’t gotten over her.”

  I felt his hand tense between mine, so I squeezed tighter and then started caressing his knuckles. “Nicole wishes,” I scoffed.

  “We”—she gestured to the rest of the table— “hoped it wasn’t true. Nicole is kind of…”

  “An asshole,” the red-headed woman across the table chimed in. “And you can let her know that Diamond said it.”

  “So, all of you know Nicole?” I asked, looking around as they nodded begrudgingly. I knew she was invited because she introduced the bride and groom a few years back. But I didn’t realize how many people knew her.

  “Yeah. Between the bridal shower, bridal luncheon, bridal brunch, bachelorette party, we’ve seen quite a bit of each other,” Diamond answered. “And we were scared that if Emmanuel was at our table that meant Nicole would be.”

  “Last night at the bachelorette party she was saying that Emmanuel wanted her back so when we saw the reception seating chart, we were shook,” Julia informed us. “But it’s nice to know that she’s full of shit and that Emmanuel is safely off the market.”

  I looked over at Emmanuel and smiled.

  I saw the stormy look in his eyes, and I knew he was pissed. Everything he thought was going to happen was happening. Nicole was stirring up unnecessary drama. So, I did the first thing I could think of.

  “I would say we should toast to that, but we don’t have any drinks.” Raising my eyebrows, I gave him a look. “Can we get some drinks, baby?”

  His handsome face relaxed as he processed what I’d said. “Yeah, of course. Anything you want, my love.” He stood and then helped me up. “Please excuse us.”

  We were only a few feet away from the table when we started talking in hushed tones.

  “This is worse than I thought,” he growled.

  “She started telling people that bullshit before today,” I hissed.

  His irritation was etched across his handsome features. “She is really trying it.”

  “Listen… and I’m dead serious right now.” I stopped our trek to the bar and stood in front of him. With a solemn look on my face, I placed my hands on his chest. “I’m twice her size and I have hands. Would you like me to fight her?”

  The deep chuckle that erupted from him made it harder for me to keep a straight face.

  He placed his hands on top of mine. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Anything for you. You will win this. Everyone wil
l walk out of here knowing she’s delusional.”

  He nodded, turning me around so we could make it to the bar. He put his hand on the small of my back. “So we’re going to have to kick things up a notch.”

  “That ‘my love’ you dropped earlier”—I did a chef’s kiss— “perfection!”

  “I was inspired by your ‘baby’ that you added to the sentence like a piece of garnish.”

  I pointed at him. “But when you called me your girlfriend the first time, your lip did that thing you do when you’re about to laugh and that almost made me laugh.”

  “Yeah, we can’t let that happen again,” he agreed.

  “Let’s get these drinks, get back to the table, and give them something to talk about.” I started wiggling my shoulders as I started singing the song.

  We got our glasses of champagne and then went to say hi to his mom and aunt who were seated a few tables from us. By the time we had returned to the table, we were quite sure a lot of people had seen us hold hands. In dramatic fashion, I removed my cape and draped it on the back of my chair. I felt the appreciative eyes on me as I took my seat. With his arm around the back of my chair, Emmanuel was closer than he was before.

  “You two make a really good-looking couple,” Julia pointed out.

  “Thank you,” I replied, turning into Manny and kissing his cheek. “I like to think so, too.”

  “She’s so beautiful that she makes me look good,” he said. “Sometimes I just can’t stop staring at her.” His fingers danced across my shoulder, sending a chill through me.

  The sensation caught me off guard.

  I cleared my throat. “Aww, baby.”

  “How did you two meet?” Diamond asked, brushing her fiery hair over her shoulder. “How did this love story happen?”

  “We met at work,” Emmanuel answered. “She came into my office wearing a red suit. Her hair was a lot like it is now. She’s beautiful—I mean look at her. But I knew she was different when she made me laugh within thirty seconds. And she’s been keeping me laughing ever since.” He drew a figure eight on my shoulder. “We’ve been friends for years and there wasn’t anything between us and then a few months ago…” His eyes connected with mine. “Something changed.”

  My lips parted and I let out a deep breath.

  Oh okay… He’s definitely taking it up a notch.

  Before I could say anything, the DJ made an announcement. “Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together…”

  The reception got underway. The conversation flowed over dinner and every now and again, I’d remember that I was supposed to be turning it up a notch.

  It wasn’t hard to enjoy my time with Emmanuel. It was always a good time with him. But every time I remembered to touch him affectionately, that felt natural too. Through the toasts and the cake cutting, I forgot all about unnecessary drama. The upbeat music the DJ was playing established a false sense of calm because just moments after he called everyone to the dance floor, drama erupted.

  Emmanuel’s ex-wife was beautiful—that was undeniable. She could’ve been a model with her flawless dark brown skin, big, mouthy smile, and legs for days. She wore a red floor length gown with a slit that went all the way to her hip. Kicking her leg out, she showed off her thigh and struck a pose.

  “Well, well, well, who do we have here,” Nicole said in a lofty tone.

  I felt his arm tense around me, so I discreetly put my hand on his thigh and squeezed.

  “Nicole,” he greeted her, keeping his cool.

  “I heard you were looking for me, so I thought I’d come and say hello.”

  “You heard wrong.”

  She cocked her head to the side. “You don’t have to be like that. We’re all family here.” Her eyes darted around the table. “And everyone has been talking about how you’re still single. I know what you’re holding out for and you’re never going to find someone like me.”

  “Yeah, that’s the whole point,” he scoffed.

  Her eyes narrowed but smiled when she noticed Emmanuel’s arm around me. “I see you couldn’t find a date, so you dragged poor Alyssa out on her least favorite day of the year.”

  “Actually, Alyssa is my date,” he told her.

  “Aww, you are so transparent,” she laughed haughtily. “You were hoping I’d come here alone so you brought your little friend with you.”

  “She’s way more than a friend.” He looked at me, holding my gaze for a moment. “She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Pushing his chair away from the table, he took my hand in his and helped me up. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to dance.”

  I smirked. “It was nice seeing you again, Nicole.”

  She stepped into Emmanuel’s path. “You can’t be serious. What is this?”

  “You’re blocking our way to the dance floor,” he said calmly.

  People had already started staring. Our table wasn’t even trying to hide it.

  Nicole put her hands on her hips. “Is Alyssa here as your friend or are you two…together?”

  “Who I’m in a relationship with really isn’t your business,” he said as he pulled me into him. “But yeah, she’s mine.”

  “I don’t believe you.” She let out a forced laugh. “Bullshit.”

  “You don’t have to believe anything I say. Nothing in my life concerns you.”

  Her fake smile dropped. “Then that means you were fucking her when we were together.”

  “You know that’s not true. But again, you don’t have to believe anything I say.” He shrugged. “I don’t give a damn.”

  Her lip curled and she looked me up and down. “How are you going to go from this”—she gestured to herself— “to that?”—she gestured to me.

  “When you know better, you do better.” He bent down and kissed my forehead. “And I’m doing way better.”

  “It’s called an upgrade,” I explained, switching my clutch to the other hand.

  She sucked her teeth and pointed at me. “Please! I look way better than you.”

  Emmanuel shook his head. “Nah.”

  Stepping around her, he navigated us to the dance floor without another word to her.

  There were too many people around for us to high-five each other for that performance, but I was grinning. Once we stepped on the marble floor, the song changed to a slow one.

  Emmanuel took my hand and twirled me in a slow circle before pulling me into him, wrapping his arms around me. My body was flush against his, my hands clasped behind his neck.

  I looked up into his eyes and my stomach flipped.

  As soon as his hands started to move over my lower back, I got nervous. “I think it worked,” I blurted out.

  He searched my eyes. “What?”

  “I think she bought it.”

  “Oh. Oh, oh, yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Yeah…”

  His sentence trailed off and he was quiet for a little too long.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked in a hushed tone. “Do you feel bad? Do you want to go talk to her and take back what you said?”

  “No.” His eyes pinged over my face before he continued, “I meant everything I said back there.”

  Something about the way he said it made my head swirl with thoughts that came out of nowhere. I took a shaky breath. “You said a lot of things.”

  “And I meant every single one of them,” he growled softly.

  “Can I interrupt you two for a moment?” Emmanuel’s mom, Fayola asked with her distinctive accent.

  I jumped and turned. “Lord! Mrs. Asante, you scared me,” I laughed.

  The striking woman with grey and black hair put her hands together as if in prayer. “I’m sorry, dear. I was trying to get Emmanuel’s attention, but he hasn’t taken his eyes off you all night,” she exclaimed, her eyes dancing with glee.

  We’d stopped dancing, but he kept an arm wrapped around me. “What’s up, Mom?”

  “They want to take some family photos in the back,” she told
him. “It’ll take ten minutes, tops.”

  He nodded then turned to me. “You want to come?”

  “Yeah, but I need to go to the restroom first,” I answered. “Where’s the picture going to be?”

  “Right through those doors,” Mrs. Asante said, pointing at the double doors in the back. “It’s a smaller room of some sort.”

  “Meet us out there?” Emmanuel paused for a second before adding, “My love.”

  My lips twitched. “Yes, baby.”

  Parting ways with the mother and son duo, I made a beeline to the bathroom. Once I handled my business and finished washing my hands, the door opened. Before I saw who it was, I knew.

  “You’ve been waiting for your chance to get with him for years, haven’t you?” Nicole asked, crossing her arms across her chest.

  I grabbed a paper towel to dry my hands. “No,” I replied flatly.

  “I never believed the whole men and women can just be friends bullshit and it looks like I was right.”

  “No.”

  “This obviously means you were trying to fuck him when we were together!”

  “No.”

  She walked toward me, putting her hands on her hips. “I thought you two were just friends.”

  “We were. Now we’re not.” I walked toward the door. “Just like you two were together. Now you’re not.”

  She sneered. “I don’t believe this shit for one minute. Either you’ve been fucking him this whole time or you two are lying.” She glowered at me as she tapped her chin. “Because now that I think of it, when Emmanuel and I were together, we kissed all the time. I don’t think I’ve seen you kiss once.” She continued to study me and then she let out a witch-like cackle. “Are you two faking this whole thing? That’s the only thing that makes sense! Oh my God! How pathetic!”

  My confidence in my acting ability was rattled so I just shook my head. “Goodbye, Nicole.”

  With my head held high, my shoulders back, and my stomach in knots, I strolled out the door.

  Manny was right! I am a terrible actress, I admitted silently as I rushed to the double doors in the back. Did I blow this for him? Shit shit shit shit shit!

  I knew she had followed me out. I knew she was probably watching. I had to get to Emmanuel first, so she didn’t blindside him like she blindsided me. I was only ten feet away when the doors opened, and Emmanuel walked out.