The Outsider

by K'Anne Meinel

  Joy hadn’t told the desk why she needed a cab, but the suitcases, bright and shiny new, told their own story. Checking out, now that they suspected who she was, she got an odd glance that she blew off. When asked where the taxi would be taking her, she just smiled and ignored the question. The taxi driver helped her with the bags and they were soon on their way as she said, “Just drive.” She unknowingly left no trail of where she was going, stumping any would-be hunter.

  After having him drive her along Wisconsin Avenue and then Lakeshore Drive for a while, she had him head for the airport, almost as though she had decided on a whim. The cab fare was a lot, but she didn’t care. Her last glimpses of Milwaukee were pleasant in the snowstorm that had descended, the Christmas lights twinkling and making her all nostalgic. As they drove to South Milwaukee, she was relieved that the snow had lessened. She didn’t need to get stuck at the airport. She paid the taxi driver, leaving him a good twenty percent tip, and made her way into the airport.

  “Hi. I’d like a flight to San Antonio, Texas please,” she said at the counter.

  “We don’t have any direct routes,” the woman behind the counter mused. “When were you thinking of going?”

  Joy blinked at her. She was loaded down with cases. Was it not obvious? “As soon as you can?” she asked, wondering if this was a mistake.

  “Well, we have a flight in…” she hesitated for a moment and checked something on her computer. “…forty-five minutes, but that isn’t enough time.”

  “That’s fine for me,” Joy said, trying to be helpful.

  “You’re supposed to check in one to two hours before a flight,” she sounded disapproving as she looked up at the young woman before her.

  “Oh, I didn’t know that. I’ve never flown before.” Her parents had always driven cross country for their trips, spending time together as a family. Now Joy was worried. When would they be able to get her out on a flight then?

  “You’ve never flown…?” she began and then caught herself. It was not up to her to judge or say things like that. They wanted to have happy fliers. She busied herself on the computer attempting to accommodate this passenger. The flight was only half filled, but the customer didn’t need to know that. She wanted the woman to think she was working hard for her. “Yes, I think I can get you on this flight…” she mused and then glanced up. “Round trip?” she asked as began to check things off.

  Joy shook her head, her pixie cut looking cute on her. “One way,” she answered, feeling so grown up at handling something like this for herself.

  “Are you sure? It’s less expensive round trip.” Maybe the girl just didn’t understand about traveling or buying a ticket.

  “Why is it less expensive to go round trip?” Joy was curious. “Wouldn’t it be more since you are flying twice?”

  “Of course, it’s more money initially, but if you buy the one-way ticket twice, it’s a lot more,” she explained.

  “Ohhh, no, I just want to go to San Antonio.” She added ‘for now’ in her own mind. She didn’t know where she would go after the seminar, but she wanted to keep her options open. She glanced around the airport and wondered at the man staring at her by the door. It made her uneasy, but she wondered if she was just being paranoid.

  “Okay, I need your license or passport and a major credit card?” she sounded all business-like now.

  They soon had the information they needed in the computer. Joy was relieved that they didn’t question the address on the license. She merely asked if it was a current address and she answered yes out of habit. She knew she could now use the bank address, but she didn’t want them to question why she had two addresses that didn’t match. She found herself worrying over things like that. Still, she persevered. Next came the many suitcases. “What do you mean I have to pay extra for this?” she was surprised.

  “Yes, it’s twenty-five for the first case, fifty for the second, and seventy-five for the third,” she went on and Joy looked at her incredulously.

  Joy felt she was being taken advantage of. She briefly wondered if she was being conned, but finally just had her put it all on her credit card. The total was a lot more than she had planned, but the woman explained if she flew in the future she might want to book ahead. It was less expensive that way. Joy was left carrying her overnight bag, which the woman had recommended she keep, and her purse. She had exchanged the purse Betsy purchased her for one a lot better, which was recommended by Maida and matched her outfits beautifully. As she strode away from the ticket counter, her overnight bag over her shoulder and her purse nestled next to it, she didn’t realize that the designer name bag she was carrying told people she had to have money.

  Joy’s next new experience was going through security. It made her paranoid as she took off her coat and shoes, putting her bags in one tote and her coat and jacket in another. She worried if they would be there on the other side as they went through a scanner.

  “Your phone, keys, and laptop must be taken out,” the security officer told her in a slightly snide and bored voice.

  “I don’t have any of that,” she assured him. He looked at her oddly, but motioned her through the sensor. No alarms went off and he turned to the next person in line.

  Joy gathered her things, pleased to see them on the other side, then put her shoes back on and carried her coat in the terminal. It was too warm to wear inside and she’d be going from heated terminal to heated plane…or, at least, she hoped so. She watched her fellow travelers, trying to understand the terminal numbers as she made her way to number forty-six and her flight to Dallas-Fort Worth. The woman who sold her the ticket had told her she had to hurry and security had slowed her down. She was relieved they didn’t appear to be boarding and made her way to another counter to ask.

  “Oh, we’ll be boarding in about ten minutes, hon,” the woman told her in a distinct drawl.

  Joy wondered if you had to be from Texas to work at this terminal and then she smiled, gathered her ticket, and made her way to a seat to wait. She glanced around, wishing she had sunglasses on so people couldn’t see her looking, then did a combination of staring at the floor and glancing up now and then. She really didn’t want to be noticed.

  “Excuse me, is this seat taken?” a voice asked and she looked up to see a mother traveling with a toddler, looking harassed and searching for an empty seat.

  “No, it’s not,” Joy told her, moving her overnight bag and purse from blocking the seat next to her—probably why it hadn’t already been taken as the area began to fill up. Joy was thrilled to have them next to her as the toddler kept her amused and gave her something to look at. She smiled at the little girl, wondering if she would have a child someday. She knew with the example her parents had set, she would be a good parent…at least she hoped she would. She often wondered, since her siblings and she shared the same gene pool, the same parents, why she was so vastly different from them? It couldn’t just be the age difference. She had never felt anything but animosity from them. They had shown in so many ways that they hated her, culminating in her being placed in foster care. She would never let that happen to her own kids. Joy hadn’t realized her thoughts were conveyed to her facial expression. The toddler screwed up her own face and started to cry, startling Joy out of her own bad thoughts. She blinked as the little girl began to cry.

  “I’m sorry. She’s not going to be fun to travel with,” the mother apologized, trying to comfort the little girl.

  “I think it was my fault,” Joy apologized, trying to make funny faces at the girl when she opened her eyes wide enough through her crying.

  “Your fault? No, she’s just not happy today and that air pressure is going to make her ears hurt,” the mother sighed, pulling out a bottle and some medicine. Joy watched, interested, as she put a couple of drops of something into the bottle, shook it quickly, and handed it to the girl.

  “What’s in that?” she asked before she could help herself, suddenly realizing it was none of her business.
<
br />   The toddler stopped crying as she was handed the bottle. She started sucking on it immediately, looking again at Joy with big tears dripping from her baby blue eyes.

  “Oh, the doctor recommended I give her a little cold medicine with her formula so she would sleep on the plane. I realized I had forgotten earlier and figured this was a good time,” the mother confided as she dabbed at the big tears. The little girl sucked on the nipple lustily, her cheeks going in and out in her efforts.

  “She seems to like it,” Joy grinned, smiling at the little girl.

  “She likes her food, that’s for sure,” the mother confided with a sigh as she arranged everything she was carrying. Joy watched as she put the diaper bag, her purse, and an overnight bag between her feet.

  Just then they announced they were boarding certain passengers and seat sections. Joy realized hers was not mentioned and remained sitting, but the mother, who had just gotten comfortable, sighed as she had to get up again. “Well, have a nice flight,” she said, balancing her bags and the toddler, who was still sucking on the bottle in her arms.

  “Take care,” Joy replied, returning to her thoughts. She wondered what a daughter of hers would look like. She’d realized how she sort of looked like her beautiful mother as she got her hair cut and used the makeup they taught her. That was not a bad thing, as far as she was concerned. Just then they announced another section and Joy checked her ticket again to be sure of her seat assignment. They hadn’t broadcast her section yet.

  Finally, they boarded Joy’s section and she got up to stand in line like everyone else. They scanned her ticket and wished her a ‘nice trip’ and she walked down the causeway. At the plane, she felt a blast of cold air as the causeway didn’t line up exactly to the plane. She smiled as the steward greeted her and made her way carefully down the narrow passage, holding her purse and bag in front of her as she looked for the number of her seat. She saw it was a window seat and two people had to get up and move so she could get to it.

  “Thank you,” she said gratefully. She could tell one of her seatmates was not thrilled to have to get up, but how else was she going to get to the empty seat? Climb on their lap? She smiled at the other one as she thanked her. Quickly, she stowed her bag and purse under the seat in front of her, sat down, and attempted to put on the seat belt. It took some finagling as the person before her must have been much larger than her own thin frame. She finally got it clamped together and pulled tight against her midriff. She settled back in the seat and tried to keep her elbows in. She could lean on the right armrest against the plane as she looked out the window, ignoring those still coming on the plane as well as the two seated to her left. She breathed calmly and easily, trying to still her beating heart. She wanted to be cool about this, but never having ridden a plane before, she was excited.

  Joy watched as the people outside the plane loaded luggage on a conveyor belt. People were bustling around on the ground despite the cold wind, occasional snow flurries, and noise of the airplanes. They were all dressed warmly, had ear coverings, and wore large fluorescent vests. Joy bet it was difficult to see them from the cockpit of a jet airplane, but she saw one guide a plane near them into position with a conical-shaped flashlight they swung. It was fascinating and she felt her heart skip a beat when she heard and felt them lock up the bottom of the plane where the luggage had gone. Soon the stewards and stewardesses were coming down the aisle to check that everyone was belted in. She looked up briefly from her view outside the window, only to return to gazing avidly outside. She was amazed how much she could see despite the oncoming night.

  When the steward came on the loudspeaker asking for everyone’s attention, Joy looked up and watched as they gave a safety briefing, telling where all the exits were. She was one of the few who paid attention though. She could see most ignored them as they carried on conversations, had earphones in, or gazed off out the windows with a bored expression. Joy paid attention because she had never flown before. She’d seen these safety briefings in movies and on television shows, but never in person. As the steward was finishing up, the plane began to move. Joy’s body tensed for a moment before she realized it was just ‘driving’ and they were moving it out of the position next to the terminal and towards a runway. She could see someone waving like she had seen before, directing the plane. Soon they were hidden by the wing and the plane began to move forward, speeding up and then slowing down to take a corner and turn. The steward and stewardess that were showing the safety brochure put it away and made one last trip down the center aisle, glancing at people to be sure they were belted in.

  “Stewards, take your seats,” came a garbled voice overhead. Joy assumed it was the captain.

  A few moments later the plane lurched forward again and got into line behind another plane that took off as they were making the turn. A few moments after that, their plane began to accelerate. So did Joy’s heart as she realized this felt like some of the rides she had been on with her parents at Disney World. Faster and faster went the plane and then with a whoop it was up off the tarmac. Joy looked out the window avidly, but couldn’t see much as the darkness enveloped them quickly. All she saw were the lights lining the runway and others flashing, marking things she didn’t understand in the big swatch of land that was the airport. Soon that was out of sight too and she was gazing at nothing but darkness.

  Joy continued to look out the window, thinking as she watched the reflection of the other passengers. Her stomach churned a little and her ears felt funny. She found herself yawning time and time again as they popped. She covered her mouth discreetly to hide the yawn and her open mouth. She saw the man in her aisle take out a newspaper and begin reading. The woman next to her had some sort of flat gadget with a screen and she began to read. Joy didn’t have anything to read, so she continued to gaze out the window, allowing herself to daydream and later to doze as they began to head southwest towards Texas.

  The plane ride was just under three hours and Joy woke to the sounds of a very unhappy toddler screaming. She wondered if it was the same little girl she had seen waiting for the plane in Milwaukee. The cabin pressure was changing slightly and she yawned again to relieve her ears. She could feel the plane slowing, but was that possible in air? The ‘fasten seat belts’ light came on again and then shortly thereafter the pilot announced they would be landing in fifteen minutes. Joy was excited as they were going to Dallas-Fort Worth first and she would catch another plane to San Antonio. It seemed so dark outside the plane, but she could see the lights on the ground. The lights became more numerous as they came closer to bigger towns and cities, and then they were continuous as the plane dipped even lower. The cries of the toddler were louder and Joy was grateful she was not sitting near her. She glanced over at her seatmates and saw that the Journal newspaper the man was reading still had a headline with her old picture on it. She sighed, turning away to look out the window again, hoping no one would recognize her from it.

  As the plane landed, Joy could feel her nervousness increasing. It was just like some of the rides at Disney World and her stomach didn’t appreciate it. She gathered her things as the others did and waited, and waited some more as they slowly filed out of the plane. She was amazed how long it took to get out of the plane and how discourteous many people were. Fortunately, someone let her out into the aisle finally and she thanked them as she pulled her carry-on and headed down the aisle. The stewards were very polite and wished them well on their travels. She made her way into another airport, feeling strange, knowing she had several hours to wait until her next flight. Still, it was across the airport to her next flight and she made her way slowly as she watched people hurrying along, some rudely, as they rushed to and fro. She found a place to eat just down from where her next flight would take off and sat down to people-watch.

  It was amazing the amount of humanity passing through the airport. Joy remembered how many people would ignore her when she lived on the streets. It was a similar sensation as she enjoyed her
hamburger and soda and watched. She began to make up stories about the people traveling together, talking animatedly, or hurrying along. There was a mother admonishing her kids for not hurrying along—they must be heading to grandmas for Christmas. There was a couple—obviously their first Christmas together—heading somewhere to ski, their carry-on making it obvious they didn’t quite trust the airlines with everything. She enjoyed seeing a little old couple, still obviously in love, holding hands and looking happy just to be together. It made Joy realize how alone she was. She had no one to share in the bounty of her win, but, for now, she was content to improve herself and be alone. She had to get through the holidays and staying in a hotel in San Antonio didn’t sound too bad.

  Finally, it was time to get on the last plane. She was amazed how tired she was from traveling. She’d dozed on the last plane, but this one was much smaller and there was no chance to doze as it was a quick hop from Dallas to San Antonio. She felt her stomach swoop much more heavily than before, probably from the hamburger, but maybe it was from the smaller plane. Fortunately, they weren’t up in the air as long. She was soon feeling like a seasoned traveler as she made her way from the second airplane to the baggage claim. It seemed to take forever for her luggage to arrive, and for a while she worried they had lost all her new things. Finally, she spotted the new cases, slowly removed them all from the conveyor belt, and wished she had brought a cart as she struggled to get them to the curb. Thank goodness for the wheels on the bottom. Then she had to decide which hotel she was staying at. She should have called ahead. She now realized why people had those cell phone things. She spotted a little bus for the Hyatt and lined up. The driver leapt off the bus to help with people’s luggage.