I Am Yours (Heartbeat #3)

by Faith Sullivan

  “What things?” I know I’m not going to like what he’s about to say, but my curiosity wins out.

  “I don’t know. Maybe like making a move on a guy or something along those lines. I never saw a girl as tightly wound as you are.” He moves to face me again, a glimmer in his eye. “Jada, you really need to get laid.”

  “And you’re just the guy for the job, huh?” I’m offended and turned on, all at the same time.

  “I could be.” He strides toward me and my breath hitches. I think he’s going to kiss me, but instead he keeps going, slightly brushing my shoulder with his as he walks by. “C’mon, we have work to do.”

  “Now who’s the tease?” I smirk, realizing that he’s the one who doesn’t have the guts to make the first move, not me.

  “Oh, if I thought you could handle a night of meaningless sex, I’d be right up on you. But I don’t think that’s your style.” The look he’s giving me now is making me vulnerable, like I’m an open book to him or something. He doesn’t know me. He can make all the assumptions he wants. So what if he happens to be right?

  “Maybe I do need a little distraction after putting my trust in the wrong person. Aren’t you and I in the same boat? At least, I’m not the one who almost married—” In four steps, he’s at my side, placing his hand over my mouth before I can finish.

  “Jada, you’re hurting. I’m hurting. Now is not the time. No matter how much we want to get back at them for what they did.” He slowly lowers his hand, letting his thumb trail across my lips. “If something ever does happen between us, I want you to be thinking of me and only me, and not my lousy brother.”

  “Brian, I…” I stumble over my words as he removes his hand from my face. There’s so much I want to say but can’t.

  “It’s all right, Jada. If what we fear turns out to be true, there’s going to be a lot of people finding out they were manipulated. Once everything’s out in the open, lives are going change. We’ll all be questioning what we really want. But until everybody’s on the same page, I don’t think it’s fair to either of us if we pursue something now, do you?” His hand returns to my face, cupping my cheek. It’s like he doesn’t mean to pressure me with his touch, but now that he’s had a taste, he can’t keep his hands to himself. He’s cautioning me about restraint, but he’s the one who seems unable to resist giving in to these urges.

  “You’re right. I’m not over Adam.” His hand slowly starts to pull away. “I’ll probably never be over him. He’ll always be the one who got away, the one I’ll always be wondering…what if?” His hand lingers in my hair, his fingers buried beneath my curls. “We’re both just lonely and scared about what’s going to happen. You were going to get married. I was going to sleep with Adam. It’s a lot to process.”

  I sound so cold, so clinical. No wonder he sighs before releasing me. Maybe I do lead guys on then stop them dead in their tracks once they get too close. I’ve never really thought about it. I guess it’s hard for me to trust any male figure in my life after my jerk of a dad abandoned me. Somewhere deep inside I feel that, given the chance, why would any guy stay with me? That’s why I pushed Jason, my ex-boyfriend, away. I wanted to be the one to end it, not him.

  It’s scary to think how meeting someone new is making me question how I view a potential relationship. Brian’s forcing me to look at things in a way I never have before, and I don’t like what I see. Do I really have so many barriers around myself—ones I didn’t even realize existed? Am I that inaccessible when it comes to forming an emotional connection? I hate to think that I’m the type of girl who plays games by stringing guys along.

  But I didn’t feel like that with Adam. I thought we were moving toward something special. Yeah, it was tough, but all of the breakthroughs we experienced have to count for something. I can’t throw away everything we shared just because I’m horny and upset. Brian’s doing and saying all of the right things to get in my pants because he’s as lost as I am. He must believe that Adam cares about me on some level, or else why would he be trying so hard to sleep with me? It’d be the ultimate ’fuck you’ to his brother. If he found out, Adam would probably never want to look at me again. I’d be no better than Kelly in his eyes, tainted by my association with Brian.

  I have to hold out hope that somehow I can withstand Brian’s charms so we can uncover what’s really going on here. Because that’s what really important—setting Adam free from a situation that’s almost too horrible to imagine. One I never thought was possible until I started talking to Brian. His knowledge of Kelly’s work and the behavior I witnessed from Adam are all blending together, forming the perfect storm. If Brian and I had never met, I doubt that anyone else would’ve connected the dots. For whatever reason, he found me crying on top of Adam’s Neon, and now we might finally be able to set things right.

  “Let’s start in her home office. I know her computer is password protected, but she has a shitload of files in her drawer we can comb through.” Brian’s all business now as he abruptly changes the subject. The minute I mentioned Adam’s name, it was like he switched gears. Does he feel guilty about wanting to have sex with me just to get back at Adam? Or is he totally over Kelly and bummed that I’m still into his brother? He doesn’t seem like the sentimental type. If anything, he’s driven by ego. And there’s no way in hell I’m going to let myself be turned into the prize of some sibling rivalry showdown between the two of them. Because I know I’ll be the one left with nothing, the loser no matter who wins.

  We move single file down the narrow hallway and into the first room on the left. Brian flicks on the light, and the level of organization surrounding us boggles my mind. Everything is in its place. There’s not a paperclip out of alignment. Talk about having obsessive-compulsive disorder. This chick is nuts.

  “Now I know what you mean about not touching anything.” I laugh to cover my unease. “How are we even gonna get to the paperwork? There’s a lock on every single drawer in the filing cabinet.”

  “Already taken care of.” He grabs a sealed bag off the bookshelf and begins rustling it. Within seconds, a cat charges into the room. “This is Freud, Kelly’s pride and joy. Take a look at his collar.”

  “Are those keys?” I can hardly believe what I’m seeing, feeling like I’ve walked into a spy novel. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “I can never get around this little guy when Kelly’s home. He always hisses and scratches the heck out of me. It took me a while, but I finally learned his weakness—Friskies Party Mix.” He removes a treat from the bag, and Freud gobbles it up. Brian lures him closer until he’s able to scoop him up in his arms. “Help me, Jada. This is when he starts to freak out.” And sure enough, Freud starts wiggling and squirming so much that Brian almost drops him. “Hold on to his paws so I can get his collar off.”

  Freud’s nails dig into my hand, but I don’t let go until Brian unfastens the buckle and the keys thump to the floor. Brian nods and we release our furry captive, who tears out of the room with a snarl. Thank goodness cats can’t talk.

  “You have no idea how many times I’ve tried to do that and failed.” Brian exhales loudly while examining the claw marks on my hand. “I’m sorry you had to bear the brunt of it.”

  “It’s all for a good cause, right?” I smile at him weakly.

  “Would you like to do the honors?” He nods in the direction of the fallen keys.

  “I’d love to.” Bending over, I snatch them up. “Hey, how are we going to get these back on Freud?”

  “We’ll figure that out later,” he says with a grimace.

  It takes me three tries before the correct key slides into the lock on the top drawer. I pull it open, but nothing really stands out. The files seem to be labeled in alphabetical order, but topics range from patient names to psychological disorders.

  “Do you know what it is we’re searching for? Otherwise, we’re gonna be here all night.” I groan, stepping back to reassess the situation.

  He moves in fr
ont of me and begins flipping through the files like he knows exactly what he’s after. Yanking a thick folder secured by a rubber band, he withdraws a photograph. “Jada, I want you to take a good look at this guy.”

  I lean forward to examine it more closely. It’s an image of quite a handsome man who, judging by his slightly graying hair, is probably in his late forties or early fifties. His chocolate brown eyes are nothing short of magnetic, and his smile is confident, dazzling even. He’s dressed in a crisp white shirt and a tailored black jacket, the light hitting him just right. I have to give the dude credit; he takes one hell of a picture.

  “Who is he? He looks like a freaking movie star.” There’s a note of awe in my voice, but I can’t help it. The guy is gorgeous.

  Brian’s eyes never waver from my face. “You think so?”

  “Now don’t get all bent out of shape…” I start to explain, but he doesn’t want to hear it.

  “I’m not. I’m just disgusted that even you, of all people, are taken in by him,” he mutters disapprovingly.

  “What? Can’t I comment on a good-looking guy when I see one?” I exhale loudly in frustration. “Am I supposed to be immune?”

  “I wish you were,” he grumbles, tossing the photo aside.

  “Watch it, Brian. You’re going to mess up the stuff on her desk and I’m not sure where everything goes.” Hurriedly, I rush over, trying to reposition a line of color-coded sticky notes.

  “Honestly, I really don’t care at this point. Because that man…” He pauses, swallowing hard.

  “Yeah?” I prod, but I’m not going to lie. I’m afraid to push him.

  “I think he’s the father of Kelly’s baby.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Adam

  “That was one hell of a drive,” I whisper against Katie’s ear as Kelly gathers her belongings behind us.

  “You’re not kidding.” She rolls her eyes, getting out of the Neon and sliding back the passenger seat. “Kelly, why don’t you grab my hand so I can help you out?”

  “I’m never riding in the back of a two-door car ever again,” Kelly grumbles, trying to wedge her pregnant belly through the opening.

  “Well, maybe if you didn’t have to take so many bathroom breaks, it wouldn’t be so bad.” I should bite my tongue, but after spending so many hours together in such close quarters, my patience is shot.

  “Or maybe you could’ve given me the front seat instead of letting your girlfriend hog it the whole time.” Kelly smoothes her dress after stepping out of the car, clearly irritated. “My back is killing me. I can’t wait to get in my Jacuzzi.”

  She roots through her bag for her keys. Glancing around, I don’t see Brian’s vehicle anywhere. I hope he decided to chill somewhere else for a while. I don’t think I’m up for another confrontation with him at the moment.

  Kelly disables the security system and waves us forward. “C’mon in. We’re the only ones here.”

  “Are you all right? You look exhausted.” Katie moves beside me, rubbing her thumb across the stubble forming on my cheek.

  “Driving through the night wasn’t easy. Thanks for helping me stay awake.” I smile, remembering how her hand would grip my thigh whenever she caught me about to doze off.

  “You got us here safe and sound, didn’t you? Even with the snoring walrus in the back seat.” Katie giggles, and I bring her in closer, wrapping my arms around her.

  “Now don’t go making fun of your cousin,” I tease, resting my chin on top of her head. “She can’t help being a pain in the ass.”

  “Where’d she go anyway? I thought she’d be back out ordering you to bring up her luggage by now.” Katie tilts her head to gaze at the open door. “We should probably go check on her, make sure her swollen ankles didn’t collapse.”

  “Do we have to?” I moan, nuzzling my nose against her hair, savoring the scent of her lavender shampoo. “Let’s get back in the car and leave her here.”

  “Adam!” Katie laughs even harder as she playfully slaps me on the back.

  “Their apartment isn’t that bad actually. Have you ever stayed over?” Reluctantly, I disengage from Katie, but I keep my hand laced through hers.

  “Yeah, it’s the one place my dad actually lets me visit,” she mutters, stepping into the foyer.

  “Do you really think he’s not going to find out that you’re staying with me?” I hate to ask, but I have to know as images of the angry man at the scene of the accident flash through my mind.

  “How could he? He doesn’t even know you exist.” She swings our interlocked hands, but somehow I’m not so sure. What if he really is the man I saw? If Katie looks the same to me, would her father look the same as well? I still can’t comprehend how all of this fits together, if it does at all.

  We see movement coming from the first door on the left, and Katie tugs my hand, urging me to follow. I feel weird invading my brother’s personal space when he’s not around. This is the home he shared with Kelly. Their engagement photo is hanging on the wall. Their matching Phillies baseball caps are side by side on top of the coat rack. I look away when I catch a glimpse of their ivory bedspread in the room across the hall. Suddenly, it’s hard to breathe.

  “Kelly, what’s the matter? You’re running around like a crazy person.” Katie enters her cousin’s home office, but I stand back. For some reason, I have no desire to go in there, especially after a cat darts out the door and through my legs, a set of keys dangling from its neck.

  “Nothing’s the matter. I just like having my things in order. That’s all.” Kelly bustles around the room, surveying every nook and cranny. “But could you please stop scaring my cat?”

  “You’re such a neat freak. You have to calm down.” Katie sounds exasperated like she’s witnessed this tendency of Kelly’s before, even though it’s new to me. I’ve never seen her so off kilter.

  “Yeah, I guess everything’s okay, right? Nothing seems out of place to you, does it?” Something’s knocked Kelly off her game. She actually seems unsure of herself.

  “No, everything’s fine. Now go take that bath you said you were dying for and relax, okay?” Katie slips her arm through Kelly’s, guiding her cousin out of the room. “And don’t even think about calling Dr. Savoy until you’ve had something to eat. The man can wait.”

  Katie gives my elbow an encouraging squeeze and I move out of the doorway, letting them pass. She’s so good. I’d let Kelly fend for herself, but then I’m not Katie. This is going to be a long three months if Kelly thinks she’s going to turn Katie into her personal slave, having her at her beck and call. I’m sure as hell not going to stand for it, especially under my roof. But for now, I’ll bide my time until I can talk to Katie alone.

  So this is what Kelly does for a living—serve as the go-to girl for some Ivy League psychologist from the University of Pennsylvania. I wonder how she feels about being nothing but a glorified assistant with a Ph.D. I’m shocked that she’d even take orders from a man, much less be intimidated by one. I wonder who this guy is.

  “Hey, do you want to order a pizza or something?” Katie’s arms slide around my waist from behind. With a quick intake of breath, I revel in the feel of her against me. The things I’d like to do to her right now, if only Kelly weren’t nearby. For the first time, I have a clear picture of what the three of us living together is going to be like, and I don’t particularly enjoy the image.

  Kelly undoubtedly will be working from home. Katie doesn’t have a job. I’m unemployed. We’re going to be crammed together in my tiny one-room apartment, all day, every day. I’ll never have Katie to myself, not with her pregnant cousin breathing down our necks. And will I really want to fool around with Katie when Kelly’s sleeping on the couch in the next room? Talk about a buzzkill. Maybe I should have thought this through more.

  “What’s wrong?” Katie notices the tension running through my body, and she leans around to face me.

  “Nothing.” I don’t want to get into it right now.
/>
  “Come on, tell me. Something’s bothering you,” Katie insists, playing with the collar of my shirt.

  “Aren’t you a little worried about her invading our space?” I try to frame my doubts as diplomatically as possible.

  “Sure, it’ll be a drag having her around all of the time, but without her in the picture, my dad would never let me out of his sight.” Her hands splay across my chest, making it hard to concentrate on anything else. “And there’s no way I’m going back home if it means not seeing you again.”

  “But, Katie, your dad’s not going to let you stay with Kelly forever.” I quiver as her hands stop above my belt buckle. “We’re going to have to address this eventually.”

  “I’m sure I can draw it out once the baby comes. Kelly will need help taking care of it.” She tilts her head so her hair falls, shielding her face. “We can make this work, Adam.”

  “Your dad’s not going to allow your absence to go on indefinitely, Katie. And besides, I don’t know how much I trust Kelly.” I play with a strand of Katie’s hair, gliding it through my fingers.

  “You think she’s going to come on to you again?” She lifts her eyes to mine and I can’t ignore the fear reflected in them.

  “That and other things.” I don’t care to elaborate because I don’t want to put ideas in her head. “I just want to protect you. Keep you safe.”

  “That’s the Adam I remember.” She stands on her tiptoes, brushing her lips across mine.

  I steel myself not to pull away from her. This is what I said I’d do. I’d be more like the fantasy guy she fell in love with. So that, hopefully, in time, all she’ll want is me.

  Instead, I pick her up, bracing her against the wall. Her breathing increases, and she tries to kiss me but I turn my head away. I want to make her beg for it. Parting her legs with my mine, I place her warm center on my knee. She’s wearing a skirt, which grants me unrestricted access. Even through the leg of my jeans, I can feel how wet she is for me as the strip of her satin panties slides readily against me.