Desert Rose

by Marie Brown

to assume I would prejudge a guest, and also to think I would not feel such a distinctive presence here in my own home. Now, introduce me to your visitor."

  "This is Lorrine, Mother."

  "A servant of Biao Tanu." The Shrouded One stepped closer, peering at Lorrine from beneath her wrappings. "Yes, indeed, you bear her mark. I will tell you right now, paladin, there is an ancient grievance between my goddess and yours. But you are a mere paladin, and no party to the disagreement. Be welcome here, as long as you bring no harm to any who dwell in this place."

  "Thank you, Shrouded One," Lorrined said, bowing her head humbly. The priestess had called her a paladin, too. Was she a paladin? No. She had no sword skills, damn it! How could she be a paladin?

  "Now. These shadow-beings of yours, what did they look like?"

  "I can't say, Shrouded One. I never actually saw them clearly."

  "They spoke? One at a time, or as a group?"

  "A group," Lorrine replied, with a secret shiver sliding down her back at the memory of their massed, whispery voices. "All at once, like many voices shared the same mind."

  "Ashantri, perhaps. A form of mage familiar that forms colonies and bonds with groups, rather than individuals." The sharp blue eyes turned to Kama. "This may explain a lot, child. Perhaps you should go meet these shadow-beings, determine whether they are the source of your imbalance." Then she returned her power-filled gaze to Lorrine. "Describe the entrance of the place you found."

  "It was many days' travel by foot to the north. The surrounding lands were mostly low, rolling hills, with knee-high grasses and compact, scrubby trees. The door itself was down in a kind of artificial grotto, shaped like a V, with the door at the point."

  "And the door itself. Was it green, and made of iron? With a strong bar to hold it shut?"

  "I don't know if it was green or not, as the light was bad. But it could have been. And yes, it was made of iron, and a bar lay on the ground before it."

  "Unbarred, then." The Shrouded One tugged at her robe with a gloved hand, thinking, then turned back to Kama. "I begin to see where your ancestors may have come from. Had the door remained barred, you would likely not be here today. This paladin of yours has described in near-perfect detail the entrance to the underground prison and homeland of the Lake People."

  Kama's eyes widened, and her cheeks developed spots of color. She ignored the reference to Lorrine as hers. "Mother! Do you suggest I go to this strange place and meet these shadow-beings? After all the times you've said my people were evil?"

  Lorrine kept her confusion to herself. Kama's people were a mystery to her, as they'd never once discussed their past lives once they'd firmly established that Kama had come from a Bad Situation and didn't want to talk about it. But she'd swear by her crystal's glow that there was nothing evil about Kama.

  "This may be a good thing, Kama," the Shrouded One nodded. "I think, perhaps, what has held back your development and ability to learn is the lack of these beings, which could easily become your familiar and bring your skills to the next level."

  "But-but-I don't want a bunch of nasty shadows following me around!"

  "Remember, dear, most familiars simply reflect the temperament of those they bond to. These ashantri would not be evil at all, were they to come in contact with your soul."

  "I will think about it, Mother," Kama said, in a tone that said she had no intention of doing any such thing.

  "See that you do. Now, as for yourself, Lorrine, what are your plans here?"

  "Um. . . I don't really have plans. I came to see Kama, both to deliver the message, and to apologize for my own actions."

  "And now you have done both, I presume. Very well. I would offer you a place to stay the night, but I'm afraid the troubles between our deities will not allow such basic hospitality. I know you are no priestess, but still, you bear the mark of Biao Tanu. I will instead offer to pay your night at the Eldritch Inn, which is near, but far enough that your presence will not prickle at me with the insistence of a stubborn rash. Is this acceptable?"

  Lorrine nodded, eyes suddenly stinging. This was it, then. Message and apology delivered, hospitality of a sort granted, move along in the morning. Perhaps she'd go back to Adele, find out the source of the feud between Biao Tanu and the First Goddess. And ask about the paladin thing. "Yes, Shrouded One. I thank you for your hospitality. I will accept your offer, then move out first thing in the morning."

  She really wanted to look at Kama, but didn't dare.

  "You know where the treasury is," the Shrouded One said to Kama. "Take care of this. And consider carefully traveling to the home of your people."

  The Shrouded One nodded to Lorrine, then turned and left, robes rustling. Lorrine stared after her, wondering at all the things she didn't know about religion.

  Kama muttered something foul. "Very well. I guess we'd best get you set up for the night. But there's no way in hell I'm leaving with you in the morning."

  "You certainly don't have to do anything of the sort," Lorrine said, hurting. "I never expected you to. I did my job, even without the force of a geas binding me to do so. You now know there's shadows that all but worship you in a hole in the ground. Fine. I'll leave you to live your life."

  "Good. Come with me."

  Kama led the way out of the garden and through the warren of tight hallways Lorrine had come through earlier.

  "What is this place, anyway?" she asked, when she couldn't glean any clues from the frilly and overtly feminine decor.

  "You came here without even knowing? It's a school. For women and girls."

  "Thank you for imparting your wisdom, O Great Wise One."

  Kama stopped in her tracks and turned to face Lorrine, very stiffly. "Enough with the sarcasm. You come in here and expect everything to be all peachy and happy, like nothing ever happened, and turn my damned life upside down, and I'm supposed to be happy about this? Lorrine, you damn near killed me with what you did! Didn't you know how deeply I cared about you? Didn't you give a thtock? I think you did, damn you all to hell and back. I think you loved seeing how much I loved you, because it made you feel good. I think you ripped my damn heart out on purpose, because you couldn't deal with yourself. I think-"

  The flood of words cut off, and once again Lorrine saw Kama's blue eyes fill with tears.

  "I think you should have just stayed away," she whispered, looking off to the side. "It was so much easier with you far away, and safely gone. Now how am I supposed to live my life, thinking that maybe you might have changed for real?"

  "Kama. . . " Lorrine felt her own throat tightening, closing off, strangled by emotion. She reached out and took hold of Kama's shoulders. Who cared if they were right out in a public place, in the middle of a school's hallway. "Kama. I never meant to hurt you. I love you. I was afraid to love you, because I was filled with the prejudices my parents gave me. But I know things now, things that changed my whole outlook on life. And I know that what I did was wrong. I've suffered for it, too. That doesn't make it right. Nothing will ever make what I did right." A hot tear spilled out of her eye, and her voice betrayed her. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, and pulled Kama close for a hug.

  Kama resisted, but only half-heartedly. She gave in to Lorrine's hold and laid her head on Lorrine's shoulder. Both of them shook, leaking tears. Kama's arms slipped around Lorrine's waist and they cried together.

  "I missed you," Kama whispered. "I wanted to die without you."

  "I wanted to die because of what I did to you." Lorrine had never admitted that out loud, either, any more than that she loved this woman, or that they'd kissed.

  Suddenly, a noise interrupted them, the sound of a bell, followed by many happy voices. Kama all but leapt away from Lorrine, smoothing her dress and face all in an instant.

  "End of classes," she told Lorrine, as women and girls swirled around them. "Come. Let's go get you taken care of."

  How did she do it, Lorrine wondered, hoping no one noticed the marks of tears on her face. Just
smooth herself out and move on like there was no problem at all. Like she hadn't just been swept away by a storm of emotion. Her cheeks weren't even red, a near miracle with her light complexion.

  Lorrine followed Kama through the crowded halls. Right as they reached their destination, the people abruptly vanished, like magic.

  "Where'd everyone go?" Lorrine asked, looking around the suddenly empty halls, as Kama opened one of the many doors.

  "Back to their rooms. It's almost dinner time. They'll drop off books, change out of uniform, then the stampede will begin again when they all go to the dining hall."

  "How many people are here?"

  "Generally around a hundred." Kama beckoned her into a small room, then turned on an elemental lamp. Lorrine looked around. Shelves, floor to ceiling, filled with what looked like accounting ledgers. How boring. Surrounded on all sides by numbers.

  A small desk held an open ledger and a magical strongbox. Kama worked the combination to its lock, removed a handful of coin, then closed it and made a notation in the ledger.

  "What's your place in this, anyway?" Lorrine asked, awkwardly. She really didn't want to talk. She wanted to hold Kama in her arms again, here where no sea of students would interrupt their private moment.

  "I'm an instructor," Kama replied, tucking the coins away into a hidden pocket. Where'd she find it? That dress hid very little. "I teach embroidery."

  Lorrine grinned. "No surprise there! You're still the best needlewoman