Here's to Yesterday

by Teagan Hunter

  “Explain,” Maura finally says when we take a seat on the edge of the stage that I frequently perform on.

  Knew this was coming.

  I let out a soft sigh and begin explaining my best-kept secret.

  “Well, twenty-four years ago my mom had an affair with Gary. She had a bit of a wild streak back in her prime. Anyway, it didn’t last long, and they ended it before my mother found out she was pregnant. Gary toured as a guitarist for a ton of different bands back then, so she never told him about me, pretended I belonged to Aaron, my other dad. I always had a suspicion that Aaron wasn’t my father. I’m not sure if it was the way my mother glared at me—like I was her biggest regret—or the fact that we look nothing alike. Either way, I didn’t get it confirmed until I was twenty.”

  I peek over to find Maura watching me with curious eyes.

  “My mother,” I continue, “is a drunk, Maura. It’s not something anyone talks about, because how can you?” I swallow the lump in my throat and go on. “So, anyway, my parents were arguing one night over it, and I happened to stop by for a visit when I walked in on their…conversation. I demanded to know who my real father was, and my mom happily provided me with the info. It took me almost a year to work up the courage to call him,” I admit quietly. “When I finally did, Gary was shocked but happy to hear from me. We never had to take a test, because it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that I’m his son. We’re the spitting image of one another.”

  “Isn’t that the truth,” Maura mumbles. “I thought for sure my eyes were playing tricks on me when I saw you two together. No wonder you always just wave at him from the stage. It would have been a dead giveaway.”

  I grin because she’s right. “Yeah, we try and keep it hush-hush around the club. We obviously connected with music and everything else sort of fell into place, but…”

  “There’s always a but,” she interrupts sadly.

  “Then I found out he was sick,” I press on in a grim tone. “Brain tumor. He had the surgery to remove it, and I convinced him to move to Wakefield to help keep an eye on him while he recovered. That’s what that was about back there. Headaches are a sign, and I don’t let him ignore a single one.”

  “Good. You shouldn’t.”

  I snort. “Ha. Tell his ass that. So, yeah, that’s where we’re at. We’re building a relationship and working through twenty-one missed years.”

  Maura’s quiet for a moment. I watch her out of the corner of my eye. She seems sad, confused maybe.

  “Feel free to ask questions, Maura. You can,” I tell her, standing up to stretch. I start pacing the length of the stage while she’s contemplating all this. Since this is my first time telling this all to someone else, I’m feeling anxious.

  “How does Tanner not know all of this?”

  “Easy. We don’t tell him.”

  “We?” she questions, swinging her feet, bouncing them off the side of the platform, ready to listen.

  “My mother, Joanne, and Aaron keep it very hush-hush. Ma is on and off the wagon all the time, but Tanner doesn’t know that either. We pretend everything is all hunky-dory when he comes home.”

  “But…why?”

  “Remember how he said I was the golden child? Well, he is,” I say with a frown. “Like I said, I always knew I was different. Aaron always treated me like I didn’t matter and always seemed to focus all his attention on Tanner—which didn’t bother me, because I honestly never liked Aaron. We didn’t do that whole bonding thing from the start, making things fairly strained between us. Because of this, Tanner always thought his father rode his ass for everything and let me get by doing whatever the hell I wanted. In truth, he wanted what was best for his son and to forget about my existence. This caused Tanner to resent me, and by the time I found out about Gary, Tanner was out of the house, so it didn’t matter anymore.”

  “And Tanner doesn’t know about your mother’s drinking problem?”

  I give a dry, pitiful laugh. “No. She’s been clean for the most part while he’s been gone.”

  She twists her lips up. “And didn’t you say they almost got divorced one time?”

  “Ah, she does pay attention,” I tease as I spin on my heel and continue my back-and-forth walk. “I did say that. It was the closest they ever came, actually. Ma got a DWI and, naturally, Aaron was pissed. In place of getting her help, he sent us away to my grandmother’s for two weeks and then started filing for divorce. In that short time, Tanner signed up for the Army, thinking it would drive them together and not apart. My mother convinced Aaron it would be best for them to be together for Tanner. Things were good for a while. Aaron paid attention to me and my mom stopped drinking.”

  “Until Tanner did his tour in Germany. She relapsed,” Maura guesses as she turns around to stare at me.

  I stop walking and point at her. “You’re good. That’s exactly it. I find out then about Gary and the rest is…well, it’s now.”

  “Is she sober?”

  “For now.”

  “Huh,” is all she says, turning back around to face the seating area.

  All that can be heard is my feet padding across the floor and her ballet flats squeaking against the surface of the stage every time she hits it. I let her sit and take in all she’s heard.

  It’s a lot, too. I know that I always give off this easygoing vibe, but it hasn’t always been that way. I was an angry teen growing up with a “father” who looked at me like I was nothing but dirt and a mother who regretted me daily—although I am thankful for both because I managed to channel all my anger and resentment into my music. Truthfully, I wish it hadn’t been that way for me growing up. But in the end, I got Gary out of it, and that’s a damn fine deal to me.

  “All right, kid,” Gary says as he comes walking out the back hallway. “Appointment is set for next week. But I’m driving myself.”

  I hop down off the stage and turn around to pull Maura down.

  “No way in hell. I’m taking you and that’s that.”

  Gary places his hands on his hips and flicks his gaze to Maura. “Does this little shit boss you around, too?”

  She covers her mouth as a giggle tries to bubble up. “I think he knows better.”

  The old man lets out a huff. “Fine. You can drive me. But after this one, I’m driving myself to all my other appointments because last I checked, I was the parent around here.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “Bet I can guess who you got your stubbornness from,” Maura mutters.

  I glare at her. “Not helping.”

  She shrugs. “Who said I was here to help?”

  Gary’s lips twitch at her remark. “I like this one, Tucker. Try and hang on to her, huh? Now, you two either need to scram or help out. I’ve got a club to open in less than an hour.”

  “Don’t have to tell us twice. Come on, Maura,” I say, grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the door.

  “Bye, Gary!” she yells over her shoulder. “It was great to officially meet you!”

  “Likewise. And apologies in advance for my jackass son!” he calls back.

  “See ya, old man!”

  I squint at the sun as we bust through the doors and crunch our way across the gravel.

  “You still want to come hang out?” I ask her nervously as we approach my car, no longer mad at her from earlier.

  “Of course,” she answers, shaking our joined hands.

  I open up her door for her, but she doesn’t get in straight away. Instead, she tilts her head up at me, shielding her eyes against the bright daylight.

  I tilt my head at her because, despite the shadows in her eyes, I can tell she wants to comment.

  “Thank you,” she says, referring to what just happened.

  I opened up to her and let her into a part of my life, my history, which no one knows about. I couldn’t tell you why I picked her or why I picked today. It could be because I’m falling in love with her or because of how she was there for a significa
nt part of my future today.

  Wait, back up.

  Falling in love? Fuck that. I am in love with her, and I think I have been since I pseudo-stalked her at Perk.

  I meet her stare and say, “Of course.”

  She smiles, starts to get into the car, and turns around halfway through it.

  “Hey, Tuck?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Promise me you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to say. Okay? And no laughing either.”

  Despite what happened earlier with her not instantly trusting me, I know I trust her, so I say, “Okay.”

  She looks down at the ground in a shameful manner, peeks back up at me, and then drops her eyes again. I bend down to try to meet her stare, but she’s not letting it happen.

  “Can…,” she starts shyly. “Can we watch Supernatural tonight?”

  Maura punches me in the gut because I so laugh.

  “Say yes already, Tucker.”

  “No.”

  “Wait, like ‘no’ no or ‘no I won’t say yes’ no?” Maura asks on the other line.

  She would think to ask that. “No, I won’t say yes,” I tell her.

  “Well, then that’s basically saying no!”

  For the past ten minutes, Maura has been trying to get me to agree to go apartment hunting with her. After everything that happened with her parents and us making that promise, she decided she needs to be more independent, so she’s going to try and find a place on her own.

  “Please?” she begs.

  “Fine. But you have to tell me I’m awesome at least five times today.”

  “Deal. Meet you at Perk in twenty?”

  “Deal.”

  She lets out a loud cheer. “Ah! Thank you! You’re awesome! There’s number one. Bye!”

  I toss my cell phone down and bring my arm up over my eyes. For someone who works a late shift, she sure as hell gets up early. Especially on a Saturday. She’s worth the lack of sleep, and I do owe her for going with me to meet that dickwad of a label manager on Wednesday.

  I must admit that I haven’t been very cheery these last couple days because of how it all went. AKA, horribly. I’d hoped for so much more than it was but was sorely let down.

  Last night, as I was tossing and turning about, I promised myself I wouldn’t let that one shittastic experience soil my dreams of “making it.” Guess Maura making my lazy ass get out of bed today is helping.

  Throwing off my dark green covers, I swing my feet to the chilly hardwood. I glance around my small bedroom, and my eyes land on something shiny on the floor by my door. Walking over and squatting down, I realize that it’s a bracelet. Maura must have left it here last night.

  And no, that’s not as naughty as it sounds. We’ve been spending just about every day together, but the only way this could have gotten in here was from when she stayed over. But if I remember correctly, she wasn’t wearing a bracelet.

  Then who in the hell’s is it?

  Wait. Did Gaige have a girl over last night? Gaige? Quiet, handsome bastard, who I’ve hardly ever seen talk to a woman before? No way.

  “Yo, penis breath!” I holler to my roommate, walking out of my bedroom and down the hall to his, not bothering to knock on the door.

  “Dude!” he shouts, tripping over the tan cargo shorts he’s putting on and falling face first to the floor as I swing open the door.

  Naked.

  Naturally, I laugh. And then I laugh harder, because in his rush to get his bare ass covered, he trips again.

  “Motherf—! You are such an asshole!”

  “You love me. But question: why are you not wearing any underwear? I know it’s not laundry day.”

  He finally manages to push himself off the floor and wrangle his shorts over his hips. “Sometimes you gotta freeball it.”

  Leaning up against the doorframe, I cross my arms and shrug. “Good point.”

  Gaige pulls on his navy Harold’s shirt for a shift at the pizza parlor. Standing at the foot of his bed, he puts his hands on his hips and raises his expertly groomed eyebrows at me. “Did you just barge in to find out if I was wearing underwear or what?”

  “Oh, yeah,” I say. I hold up the bracelet for Gaige to see. “Is this yours?”

  His eyes widen as he quickly strides over to me and snatches it out of my hand. He stares down at it, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. “Where’d you find it?”

  “It was on the floor in the hallway beside my door. And I’m guessing by that look on your face you know exactly who it belongs to.”

  A scowl replaces the smile with lightning speed. “None of your damn business.”

  I smirk. “You know, you’re a lot more handsome when you smile. You should work on that.”

  “Ugh! Go away!” he barks.

  I duck away from the shoe he throws and head toward the bathroom, making sure to lock the door because I don’t trust him not to retaliate for falling over naked.

  And I’m glad I do, because I’m not even two minutes into my shower when I hear him twisting at the knob. I smother a laugh at his attempt at revenge. The knob stops clicking as Gaige gives up at breaking in.

  Turning off the water, I step out of the tub and dry off. Realizing I forgot my clothes in my bedroom, I wrap a towel around me, cautiously opening the door. I make sure to look both ways and listen intently, checking to be certain the coast is clear. Everything seems innocent enough, so I take a tentative step into the hall.

  Big. Mistake.

  My feet fly out from under me and my ass hits the floor. In the process, I lose my grip on my towel, leaving me butt-ass naked. Then, to make matters worse, Gaige comes barreling down the hall, snatches my towel, whacks me with it, and leaves me lying there.

  “Got ya, fucker! Thank you, buttered cooking spray!” he shouts from the safety of his locked bedroom.

  Bastard.

  I’m greeted by a confusion-marred face when I show up almost ten minutes late to Perk.

  “Why are you walking so funny?” Maura questions as she walks out carrying two medium coffees. She hands one over to me. “Here.”

  “Thanks.” I take a generous sip and then answer her. “Let’s just say it involves two naked dudes, buttered cooking spray, and the promise of revenge.”

  “Kinky.” She waggles her brows, not even stopping to think it could indeed be something kinky. “Come on. You can ride with me.”

  We climb into her silver luxury SUV and hit the road.

  “Have you talked to him?” she asks when we come to the first stop sign.

  “No. Have you?”

  “Unfortunately.”

  I turn toward her, and my brows slam down in concern. “What happened?”

  “Well, I tried calling him on Sunday after the party and got no answer. So I tried again once a day until Wednesday just before your appointment. I left a voicemail saying that it would be my last call. He called back last night. Drunk. And then proceeded to tell me what a whore I was.”

  She stops talking, but I know that’s not all that happened. I can tell by the disgust in her voice that there’s more to it.

  “And then what, Maura?” I press.

  She exhales a breath. “Then he put the phone on speaker, and all I heard was moaning and bodies slamming together.” She flicks her eyes toward me momentarily, gauging my reaction. “He was screwing someone while I was on the phone with him.”

  “Jesus, Maura!” I explode. “I cannot believe that asshole! He’s…fuck! He’s fucking dead to me.” I slam my hand on the dash in aggravation. “Fucker!”

  “Don’t say that, Tuck. That’s something you can’t take back,” she says calmly. “What he did, it’s okay.”

  “It’s not,” I say, seething. “It’s far from okay. Don’t try to take whatever happened with us and use it as an excuse to allow him to be a total dick. That’s never okay. If he wasn’t tucked safely away on a damn Army base, I’d go beat his ass for that shit.”

  “Shouldn’t he be allowed to hurt
us like we did him?”

  I look over at her and see that she believes that’s the way it should be. “No. Not at all. What happened with us was unintentional. Hell, a few may even call it inevitable. What he did was intentional and unfucking called for. There’s no other way to put that.”

  We don’t say a thing for a mile or two. Maura is the first to break the silence.

  “Fine. You’re right. Can we forget our past with him? Can we only think about now and not then?”

  “I think that’s probably best.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll try.” A short pause. “You’re awesome,” she says quietly, causing me to laugh again.

  The rest of the ride to the first apartment is short and quiet. And the answer of whether or not it’s a good place for Maura to live comes just as quickly.

  The car is still in drive when I say, “No. You’re not living here. Next.”

  She screws her nose up and stares out the windshield. “What?”

  “You have to park too far away for comfort. I’m not leaving you to walk these streets alone at night. Not with the time you get off work.”

  After a moment, she agrees. “Fine. You win. Next.”

  We check out two more apartments, and one is almost a winner, but Maura insists on trying one more. The instant we pull up, I have a good feeling about it. The area is nice, and the parking is in front of the apartment building that appears newer and clean. We’re greeted by a friendly middle-aged woman in dress clothes, who introduces herself as the landlady.

  “Hi, Darcy. I’m Maura, and this is—”

  “Her fiancé, Tucker,” I interrupt with a devious smirk, slinging my arm around Maura, who elbows me in the gut.

  “Oh, how sweet! You two are adorable together!” Darcy exclaims.

  “Thanks,” Maura says through a forced smile.

  “Well let’s go have a look, shall we?”

  Immediately after Darcy turns around, Maura smacks my arm and glares at me. I shrug and stick my tongue out at her. Despite falling on my ass and bruising the shit out of myself, topped with finding out my brother is total fucking tool, I’m in a playful mood today. I love it when she gets sassy, and that’s what I’m aiming for with the whole charade.