He liked what the pastor said when he stood to preach. "If you're a visitor, we hope you felt God's Presence today. We didn't come to sing but to tell God how much we love Him. It's the most important part of the service."
Jack understood exactly what he meant because he had felt God's Presence in a new way. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the Lord, barely hearing what went on around him. When Lauren reached over him for the offering bag, he opened his eyes.
The pastor was a gifted speaker, and his topic made you think. He said part of knowing God was learning to walk through adversity. Knowing God doesn't automatically free your life of problems. He read from James, chapter one. 'Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given him.'
Jack couldn't have chosen a better topic for Lauren. It was encouraging and full of life. He was deeply disappointed when she didn't respond at the end of the service.
They walked out to the parking lot and got into the car. Lauren hadn't said a word. As they pulled out into traffic, Jack asked, "I thought we'd drive into town for lunch, or would you prefer a restaurant near the water?"
"No, thank you. I need to go home."
Her voice told him nothing about how she felt.
"Are you sure? I wanted to take you out. You look beautiful, and all the other men will be jealous." He smiled, trying to cajole her into a more amiable frame of mind.
"I'm sure. Take me home."
When Jack pulled into Lauren's driveway, he turned in his seat. "Can I come over later?"
"I don't think we should see each other anymore."
Jack stared at her. "But Lauren, why…"
"Look Jack, I'm not ready for…for everything you are…" She stumbled over the words. "For who you are."
"Have I hurt you?"
"No, but you would." She got out, shut the door, and went inside the house without looking back.
Jack drove home in a quandary of emotions. Lauren had to be the most changeable woman he'd ever met. God, how do I show love to a woman that doesn't want to be loved?
The same way I do.
All right, Lord, show me how.
Jack gave Lauren some space for the next few days. He didn't come by when she was home, he didn't even call, but he did leave her a note every day on the back door. He wasn't going to let her completely fade away, but he didn't want to push. If only the brief notes would encourage her and show that he wasn't giving up on her. He couldn't. He thought about her throughout the day, every day.
When he went for his run, he looked for her. She seemed to have given up walking on the beach. When he passed her house, sometimes the lights were on, sometimes not. He hated the thought that he'd driven her inside, hiding like a recluse.
When the next Sunday came, she still hadn't responded to any of his messages. He went to church alone, her absence a heavy pain in his heart. Father, you told me to show her Your love. What am I doing wrong, and why do I miss her even more than I miss my own family?
After Jack went for his run that evening, he sat in the sand at the point, watching the sunset. Where is she, Lord? Why do I think about her all the time? Is it a burden from You or do I care more than I realize?
When Skippy came running up to jump in his lap, Jack leaped to his feet, looking for Lauren. They recognized each other about the same moment.
Her face became guarded, but he offered a wide smile. "Lauren, I've missed you. How are you?"
"Fine, how are you?"
Jack walked to meet her. Her long hair blew across her face, and he reached up to draw it aside. "Lauren, don't shut me out. Let me be your friend."
"I don't need any friends."
"What about God?"
"No."
"All you have to do is ask."
"What about no, do you not understand? I'm not ready." She turned away from him, clicking her tongue at the dog.
"Lauren, wait. Have dinner with me tomorrow night. Anywhere you want."
"Go away, Jack. It's a lost cause."
"That's what I'm afraid of," he whispered to himself.
The next day, Jack launched an onslaught. He sent flowers to her office. When he got no response that night, he sent them again the next day. He would keep it up until she caved-in or exploded. Either way, he'd get a reaction.
Lauren had avoided thinking too deeply since cutting off Jack. She read books or watched television, anything that would keep her mind busy. She threw herself into her work, staying late and going in early. She refused to examine why it was so important to prevent her mind from wandering.
When she'd seen Jack on the beach, it had taken every bit of her willpower to walk away. He was kind, and his eyes held such tenderness. If anyone had ever made her think of what God could be like, Jack certainly filled the bill. No matter how much she pushed him away, he showed compassion.
The flowers the next day shocked her. They were more ostentatious than the ones sent by Peter. She read the card. You can run, but you can't hide. Jack
They created a stir at the office. Someone told Ryan, and he questioned her. "Lauren, why didn't you tell me you'd met someone? This is great! I want you to bring him over to the house so we can meet him."
"Ryan, there's no one. I did a favor for a neighbor. It's nothing."
He let it go, but when the flowers continued to come day after day, he demanded an explanation. "Lauren, dear, you know Sue and I care about everything you do. Won't you let us meet this young man that seems so taken with you?"
"I don't know why he's so persistent. I only had dinner with him twice. There's nothing to it."
"Bring him over anyway. I'd like to see what kind of man he is. Sue was hoping you were free on Friday night. Will you ask your young man to join us?"
Lauren knew when she'd been had. She would take Jack to dinner with her boss and get it over with. Then she would get rid of him for good. "All right, Ryan. I'll ask him."
"Good, call Sue when you know he's available."
When Lauren got home, she called Jack right away. "Jack, it's Lauren. The flowers are nice, but please stop sending them. My boss is asking questions. He'd like you to come with me to dinner on Friday night at his house. He's afraid you might be some pervert. How many thirty-one year old men hang out with twenty- four year old chicks?"
"Only the lucky ones." When Lauren didn't reply, he sighed. "I'd love to go with you. Is that what you want?"
"No. But he won't let it go."
"I promise not to embarrass you."
"You could never embarrass me."
"What time should we leave?"
"Pick me up at six."
Jack immediately went into prayer. She sounds mighty riled, Lord. Help me. Show me how to minister to her. Help me be a blessing to all those in her life.
Friday afternoon came way too quickly for Lauren. When she got home, she changed out of her work clothes and stood before her closet. Perversely, even though she didn't want to spend time with Jack, she still wanted him to think she looked good. She chose a cream mohair sweater with just enough elastic to hug her shape without looking like it was plastered on. The cream leggings she wore underneath revealed her tapered legs.
She took her long hair and piled it up on her head in a chignon. When she finished, she felt pleased with the results, although she had chosen to ignore the inner voice that kept asking her why it was so important to win Jack's admiration.
The drive to meet Lauren's boss didn't go as well as Jack had hoped. If he'd thought to win Lauren over in a few minutes, he failed. But at least he got her talking.
"You look beautif
ul tonight, Lauren."
"Thanks. You look nice, too."
He put her in the car and walked around to get in. As he started the engine, he looked over at her. "Did you go to all that trouble for me?"
"Of course not. We're going to meet with my boss."
"Well, I appreciate the effort. I've missed you."
"Sorry."
"Did you miss me?"
She stared out the window. "I can watch movies just as well without you."
"Uh-huh, but did you miss me?"
"Yes."
"Good. Would you like to go sailing tomorrow? We could grill steaks afterward, maybe swim in that heated pool of yours."
"Listen, Jack, nothing's changed as far as I'm concerned. All those flowers just made it impossible to put my boss off any longer. He insisted I bring you around to meet him and his wife. They sort of feel responsible for me. They kept me going after my parents died. But this is absolutely the last time we will be together. Understood?" She finally met his eyes.
"Would you like to ride with me to church on Sunday? I felt so alone without you last week."
She shook her head. "You're not going to give up, are you?"
"No, you've got a friend for life. Do you want to go to the movies tomorrow night? There's a new, sappy romantic comedy you would love."
"No. And please don't tease me tonight. I've told my boss I barely know you and I have no idea why you keep sending flowers. Don't make it seem like there's more to it than there is."
"I see," he said quietly.
Jack prayed silently. Father help me, why does this woman have the ability to stab me through the heart?
You love her.
Jack looked at Lauren with new understanding. God had given him a love for her that he'd not previously had for anyone. Lord, is she for me? Is Lauren the one I've prayed for?
No answer came to mind.
All right, Lord. I'll wait.
"This is it." Lauren directed him to the right house.
Jack got out and walked around to help Lauren out of the car. When he opened the door, he loomed over her. "Lauren, you're so special. Give me a chance to be part of your life."
"Let me out, Jack."
He held out his hand and lifted her up. "After you, m'lady."
He kept his hand on the small of Lauren's back as they walked to the door. Lauren felt the light pressure more like a scalding hot iron. She was aware of every move he made, and it confused her. I can't care about this man. It doesn't mean anything. He is kind to every stray puppy he meets.
The door opened, and Lauren and Jack were quickly enveloped by the hospitality of Ryan and Sue. Sue drew Lauren into the kitchen where she was finishing up last-minute preparations. Ryan took Jack on a tour of the house.
When they neared the kitchen, Ryan pulled Jack aside to a large room that was obviously a man's domain. "While we're waiting on the food, would you care to play a game of pool?"
"I'd like that. Do you play often?"
"Yes, I do. How about you?"
Ryan racked the balls on the pool table and turned to Jack.
Jack unbuttoned his cuffs and rolled up his sleeves. "Not since I arrived here, but my brothers, my Dad, and I have a healthy competition going at home. Or maybe it's unhealthy...we like to compete."
Ryan chuckled. "I know what you mean. Lauren and Sue keep tabs on who's ahead here. Let's see what you've got. Eight ball, you can break."
In the kitchen, Sue eyed Lauren with a smile. "My, my...Jack is quite attentive, Lauren. He's also good-looking. What's up?"
"Did Ryan tell you to interrogate me? Honestly, there's nothing. He's a new neighbor, teaching at the Junior College, and he asked me to show him around. He's from Texas." Like that explained everything.
"Uh-huh. I saw the way he looks at you and the fireworks when the two of you walked in."
"Sue, please." Lauren laid a hand on Sue's arm. "I like him, but he's different. He's a Christian, and he really doesn't understand about my parents or anything else. We just don't...go together."
Sue turned around and put both hands on Lauren's shoulders. "But how does he make you feel?"
"Alive…the most alluring, beautiful, cherished woman in the world. Ridiculous, isn't it?"
"No, it's rare. Be careful you don't take it for granted. Let's get those men."
They walked around the corner toward the game room. "Ryan, Jack, what are you up to?"
"Something vitally important is going on here, honey," said Ryan. "I'm about to wipe this young upstart off the table after he tied me in the last game. Watch this."
Silence settled in the room as Ryan lined up his cue for the hit. It was perfect, and he chortled in victory as Jack groaned in defeat. They were both laughing and kidding each other as they followed Sue and Lauren to the dining area.
Sue stood at the head of the table. "Did you enjoy yourselves? We were about to send out a search party. Aren't you hungry?"
Ryan walked over and kissed her on the cheek before heading to the other end of the table. "There are some things more important than food, madam, and beating this kid here is one of them."
Sue rolled her eyes and gazed at Lauren in commiseration. "Male bonding. We should have known."
Lauren stood behind a chair and waited for Jack to take the chair opposite. When Ryan and Sue stood behind their chairs, and Ryan bowed his head to bless the food, Lauren was surprised. She hadn't noticed him do that before.
It was a relaxed meal with plenty of anecdotes from Lauren's intern days, much to her chagrin. Laughter flowed freely, and Lauren had a hard time remaining aloof to Jack's charm. She raised her head many a time to find his warm eyes resting on her.
After they ate, Ryan invited Jack to play pool again while the ladies washed up. He inferred that it was tradition, but Lauren disagreed. "Hah, you usually clean up, but go ahead."
Sue was shoving plates in the dishwasher as Lauren walked in the kitchen.
"How old is he, Lauren? Ryan is having a wonderful time, talking with Jack. He's mature, courteous, and protective of you."
"Jack is thirty-one and ought to be able to talk to anyone. He's a philosophy teacher at the college."
"Is that the only subject he teaches?"
"No, after this semester, he's going to Central America to be a missionary. But he'll be teaching English as a second language. I don't know what he did before he came here. I never asked."
"Don't you think you should?"
"Why?"
"If you like him as much as I think, it might matter to you what he does when he comes back from Central America."
"I'm not interested in a romantic relationship that lasts only five months. That's why he likes me. No strings attached and I'm too young to matter."
"Hmm."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. We're all done here. Want to watch a movie? Romantic comedy."
"Sure."
When the opening credits came up, Sue interrupted the men. "Ryan, show's about to start. Come sit down and stop making all that racket."
"All right, sweetie. It's just been a long time since I've had someone as hard to beat as Jack."
He walked around the end of the couch, and Sue patted the space beside her.
"You mean you actually beat him?"
Jack and Ryan laughed together. "A couple of times."
"I'm sure he'll come back and give you a rematch. Let him sit down with Lauren now."
Jack chose to sit on the recliner at the other side of the couch where he could see Lauren and the movie. Each time she looked over at him, he smiled. She seemed a little uncertain, but she smiled back. He hoped he had made himself fit in. Apparently, this couple was the closest thing Lauren had to family.
The movie was long. Halfway through, Sue stood and stretched. "Ohh, how about some dessert? Come help me, Ryan."
Though Lauren tried to ignore Jack, he came to sit close beside her. "Are you having a nice time, Lauren?"
"Yes,
are you?"
"Being with you is always nice." He put his arm behind her, but she remained stiff and upright.
Sue stepped in. "Do you want coffee with your dessert?"
"I would...cream and sugar, but Lauren doesn't like caffeine at night."
After Sue left the room, Lauren glared at him. "I don't need you to answer for me."
"No bother, I enjoy taking care of you." He patted her hand then held it. She didn't pull away.
"You're impossible."
"You're adorable."
Jack was giving Lauren the full force of his charm, and she felt herself succumbing to the constant barrage. It would be so easy to lie back and cuddle up against his chest. Why was she resisting?
Because his life was centered on a God she wasn't ready to deal with and he'd said they'd never be anything but friends. She wanted so much more.
The evening ended well. Ryan and Sue stood waving at the front door. "Come over any time. I'd love to beat you again at pool."
Jack laughed. "I'd like that, too. Whenever you're ready."
"Maybe next weekend?"
"Sure. Let Lauren know."
Out in the car, Lauren leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes.
"Are you tired?" asked Jack.
"Sort of." She looked up. "Mostly just relaxed. How 'bout you?"
"I enjoyed your boss. I think he really likes me...except when I beat him."
"He's probably thrilled you can beat him. No one's beat him for a long time. Now he'll have something to look forward to. I mean…that is, if you ever came back." Lauren kept her eyes on her hands.
"About that...I can't think of anything else I'd rather do than spend time with you and your friends."
Lauren didn't answer. She had to think of a way to protect herself from him. She didn't want her emotions to run away.
When the car pulled up to her house, Lauren resigned herself to the inevitable. They had to have this out.
Wind on the Sand (The Winds of God) Page 6
