I stared up at him and had to blink tears away from my eyes when the lights hit them. He was serious. He stood up and I was blanketed in shadow.
“I figured you knew,” he said with a shrug, “Earl probably would have said something if he knew-”
“Please don’t tell him,” I begged, Earl had already seen me circle the drain. I didn’t want him to know how bad it had really been.
Evan crouched down, “Your secret is safe with me.”
“Thanks, Ev-” I said sipping my water again. I felt a smirk cross my face, “So you loovvvee me?”
“Like a sister,” Evan clarified standing up, “And annoying one-armed puppy of a sister. But you’re mine nonetheless. No one messes with my sister and lives.”
“I love you too Evan,” I whispered, “Even if you are a fluffy butted asshole who sleeps as soon as it gets cold outside.”
He rolled his eyes and left me alone in the bathroom.
For the first time since my father died, I didn’t feel alone.
53
Present Day
“So… this is Easterville,” Kyla said. Marcus had woken her up when we hit the city limits, “It’s...quaint.”
The town was quaint, looking at it from an outsider’s perspective. The storefronts were decorated for the holidays and most businesses were closed for the day. I pulled into a parking spot out front of the Tooth and Claw. I was surprised to see it was open.
“Come on, dinner’s on me,” I told them, handing the car keys back to Marcus and practically running to the pub. I could smell the grease of the fryer before I got to the door. It opened as a few tourists exited. They were talking to each other but I could hear them commenting on how good the food was. I slid into the building and all conversation stopped.
All eyes flew to me. I heard a clatter from the kitchen. Seconds later I was swooped up in Evan’s arms. To the sound of hoots and hollers and applause from the patrons. He held me so tight. He squeezed me so close. I could hear his breaths raggedly taking in my scent as if his inner bear couldn’t believe it was really me. But it was me.
“Evan,” I squeaked, “Can’t breathe.”
He loosened his grip, a little, but still held me tightly.
“Whoa sailor,” Sarah said to Evan, “Let Lee down, the rest of us want to suffocate her too.”
The sound of her voice must have reminded Evan we were in a very public place and he set me back down on my feet. His brown eyes bored into me, “Are you ok?”
I nodded once, “We’ll talk after closing. Can I get three Easterling specials and an extra large order of chili fries?”
He looked behind me, seeing a very nervous Kyla and Marcus enter the pub, “They’re friends,” I told Evan and he nodded going back to the kitchen.
Sarah wrapped her arms around me, “I’m so glad you’re safe, Lee. We were all worried sick about you.”
I held her tightly. Her lavender perfume which usually annoyed my wolf was comforting, familiar, home.
“Lee! Me next” Duke called out from his usual table.
“Me too!” Louie hollered.
The pub erupted into a chorus of voices all yelling for me, welcoming me back. Telling me they were glad I was safe. Offering to get me whatever I needed. All I needed was a burger, a beer, and a pair of my own damn shoes.
54
6 years earlier
“Look it’s our graduate!” Earl’s voice boomed through the pub when I walked down the stairs. I was wearing my graduation robes with the stupid hood that took way too long to figure out. I had to beg Evan to help me out and I still wasn’t sure it was correct.
“Hurry up, we’re going to be late,” Evan growled from behind me. He was particularly grumpy today. I didn’t understand why, it’s not like he had to sit in the hot sun for an hour listening to names being rattled off being bored out of his skull.
Oh wait, I smirked to myself, he had to sit in the bleachers, Earl was making him come to the ceremony to support me. I secretly loved that Earl was making such a big fuss about my graduation. I’d worked really hard to make my degree happen. I didn’t know what I was going to do with a bachelor's degree in math in Easterville, but I’d figure it out.
Earl pondered the questions of the universe as we drove up to campus. Hundreds of maroon robes with gold hoods littered the football stadium as we all lined up. Earl and Evan each gave me a hug when I went to line up with my class.
“Don’t trip,” Evan told me low enough Earl wouldn’t be able to hear him.
“Ass,” I mutter back smacking his arm. Now I was worried about tripping. I was wearing pretty wedge heels that if it were not for Evan’s help, would have never been buckled.
I filed in with my classmates and waited through the droning speeches, the choir’s music, the band’s song, and the names of the classmates earlier in the alphabet than me. Finally my row was called and I got to hear my name called
“Aster Lee Fields,” I walked across the stage, shook hands with the college president. Got my picture taken and went back to my seat. Sucks to suck Evan, I didn’t trip.
After the ceremony Earl ran up to me and wrapped his ancient arms over my shoulders, “Atta girl! I’m so proud of you.”
I felt tears well in my eyes. I didn’t understand why all of a sudden, making Earl proud had made me emotional.
“I wouldn’t have survived without you, Earl,” I told him, and it was the damn truth. He taught me everything, “I couldn’t even write when you met me.”
He hugged me again, “I didn’t do anything, kid, it was all you.”
“Who’s Aster?” Evan asked holding my diploma in his hands, “Is that even a name?”
I snatched it back from him, a little angry he’d ruined my touching moment with my surrogate father, “My first name is Aster, asshole. And yes, it’s a name.”
“It’s also a flower,” Earl butted in, as if that made it better. Earl pulled out his fancy new phone looking up a picture then held it out for Evan to look at it with a smirk.
“It’s purple,” Evan grunted.
“Sometimes,” Earl said scrolling more, “Also pink.” Evan snorted.
“Congrats, Lee,” Professor Carlson was behind me with his arms open for a hug. I accepted it. He’d been my advisor and helped me with my thesis.
“Couldn’t have done it without you,” I told him breaking the hug. He handed me a small box with a bow.
“A gift from the department,” I saw the bag draped over his arm filled with black boxes with maroon bows.
“You coming to the party tonight?” Earl asked Professor Carlson.
“What party?” Professor Carlson and I asked in unison. Summer
Earl and Evan smirk, “Come on now Aster,” Evan said living for the new dirt he had on me. I cringed at the sound of that name, “You think the Tooth and Claw’s favorite barmaid can graduate from college without a big ass party?”
“I’ll be there,” Professor Carlson said, “I have a few dozen more of these to hand out, great job, Lee. Knew you could do it.”
He patted me on the back before disappearing into the sea of maroon searching for more of his students.
“So party?” I ask feeling a big smile cross my face, “I haven’t had a party thrown in my honor since before my father died.”
Surprise flickers over the faces of the Easterling men. I’d lived with them for four years and never talked about my family or past outside of one drunk night with Evan. They had the good sense to never ask.
“Better get there,” Earl said making a big show of looking at the time on his watch, “Edith and Summer should have it all set up by now.”
Behind the bar at the Tooth and Claw was a giant banner with Congrats, Lee! written in big blue letters. There were maroon and black balloons on the ends of the booths. Summer was on a step stool with a roll of tape in her mouth, a roll gold streamers in one hand and a pair of scissors in the other.
“A little to the left,” Edith was calling from the g
round. Summer rolled her eyes and repositioned the end of the streamer, “Perfect.”
“The place looks great ladies,” Earl said striding into the pub startling Summer causing her to drop the streamers, the gold crepe paper rolled on the floor landing at my feet.
“Let me help you,” I said picking it up and walking over to assist. I helped Summer finish up the decorating while Edith instructed Evan on the finishing touches that required a big strong young man.
“Sorry about her,” Summer whispered, “She’s my mother in law and my Louis loves her, but I swear to God some days.”
She giggled and I laughed with her, “She’s something alright.”
“What are your plans now that you’re done with school?” Summer asked, “Are you going to stay in Easterville?”
I chewed my lip, “I didn’t think I’d make it this far, to be honest. I’m hoping Earl will take pity on me and let me work the summer until I can figure it out.”
Summer smiled down at me, “I’m pretty sure neither Easterling man is going to want you leaving anytime soon. I thought Earl was going to close up and retire, then you showed up.”
I looked over at Earl’s table. He was sitting at the back of his round booth looking over the pub. He was so full of life despite his age. I hardly noticed his thinning white hair or the deep lines in his face. His back was curved from years of hunching over the grill. It was easy to forget Earl was old. He’d taken such good care of me when I needed it most.
“I’m so lucky he found me,” I told Summer, still looking at Earl, “He saved my life that day. I’ll never be able to repay that debt.”
I felt Summer’s hand on my shoulder, “There’s no debt for family.”
“Let’s Party!” Louie and Deputy Lark came into the pub arms up cheering. Louis Jr. ran up to his wife and spun her in a small circle. Louie came up to me and wrapped me in a hug, “I’m so proud of you Lee.”
“Couldn’t have done it without you, Louie” I told him, and it was true. There were so many people in Easterville who made it possible for me to graduate. For encouraging me when I struggled. For helping me when I was too stubborn to accept it. Without Easterville, I wouldn’t have survived.
More townsfolk streamed in, earnest congratulations and well wishes on their lips. Duke told me stories about his foray into college, the half semester he tried it before deciding to take a job in the shipyard. Professor Carlson, his wife, and their kids came.
Little Suzie wrapped her arms around me and immediately asked for a Shirley Temple with extra cherries. She could say her “l’s” now. I jumped behind the bar to make it for her.
“It’s your party, kid,” Earl told me sitting on a stool, “Get out from behind the bar. We’re celebrating you tonight. No working.”
I smirked at him, “You know I can’t say no to Suzie,” I put a few extra cherries on the plastic sword before walking it out to her. Suzie reached up and played with the tassel on my hat.
“When I get old, I’m going to wear one of those,” she said, “Just like you, Lee.”
I winked at her, and she giggled before running off to her family.
The party died down and Earl went to bed first. The revelers dwindled until it was just me, Evan, and a big mess in the pub. I sat at a bar stool taking off the stupid hat and rubbed the line I knew had to be there. Everyone wanted a picture with the graduate, in her robes, with the stupid square hat.
“Here,” Evan said setting a shot glass of tequila in front of me. I downed the shot before he’d finished pouring his own, “Geez, Lee. At least let me toast you.”
I snorted and held up the glass again. He refilled my shot glass and we clinked glasses, “Congrats, Lee,” Evan said finally taking his shot. I downed mine again. This time he handed me a lime wedge from behind the bar.
“Thanks Ev,” I told him, “Couldn’t have done it without you,” Evan rolled his eyes and I grabbed his wrist, “Seriously. I know we fight all the time and everything, but you’re my best friend and I would not have survived had you not been patient with me and my wolf.”
He smirked and held up his finger, “One sec,” he ducked into the kitchen, “I got you something.”
“Evan, you shouldn’t have,” I said and when he came back with a collar attached to a leash with a bow on it, “You really shouldn’t have.”
He laughed and handed it to me, “I figured you’d react that way, so here’s your real gift,” he handed me a small black box with no wrapping paper or trimming, “Come on, open it.”
I lifted the lid and was once again confused, “My car keys?”
“I got Holden to run a full diagnostic and repair. He promises the car is good as new,” he told me, “Heat, A/C, fans, carburetor. The whole works. So if you decide to leave us, you’ll start your new adventure in a car that doesn’t break down every time.”
“Evan, that’s so thoughtful,” I said legitimately touched, “So you want me to leave?”
He shrugged, “I know Earl wants you around, but he doesn’t want to ask you to stay if you have other aspirations.”
“What about you?”
His brown eyes met mine, “I can’t imagine Easterville without you in it.”
I couldn’t imagine Easterville without Evan either.
55
Present day
A heavy hand shook me awake, “God damn it Lee, stop howling,” it was Evan.
I blinked awake. I was back in my room above the Tooth and Claw. I heaved a sigh of relief, “Sorry,” I muttered embarrassed. Evan was staring down at me his face equal part concerned and frustrated.
It had been three weeks since Kendrick had kidnapped me and Evan had yet to get a full night's sleep. I howled every night. The first two nights Evan crawled in bed with me and tried to soothe me, but my wolf wasn’t satisfied with that anymore. She’d had her mate and there was no substitutions.
“I have good savings, I’m going to look into buying my own place,” I promised, “Maybe a small shack in the middle of Lake Easter woods?”
“You can’t go on like this Lee,” Evan said sitting on my bed, “You look like the walking dead. What did they do to you there?”
I shook my head, “They didn’t do anything to me,” I felt tears slide down my cheeks. He knew it was a lie, he’d seen the scars on my back and my missing tooth. But I couldn’t tell him anything. It had taken hours of reassurance to let Marcus and Kyla spend the night. Even more to not turn them into the authorities.
“Talk to me, Lee,” Evan said, “I never thought I could be more afraid for you than I was watching you get taken away. But,” his eyes wandered over me, “You’re scaring me.”
“My wolf was home,” I whispered. The Tooth and Claw, Easterville was my home. They took me in, they were kind to me. They showed me how to stand on my own two feet and be a person. And yet, my wolf longed to be back where we’d been beaten and defanged.
I was unable to explain to Evan that draw and desire to be with your own kind. Bears weren’t programmed that way. I didn’t understand it myself. Intellectually, I didn’t want to be there, emotionally, spiritually, metaphysically though, I needed to be there.
“Do you need to go back?” he asked.
“I can’t go back,” my voice quavered as a wave of panic threaded me at the idea of going back there. The sounds of the pack wolves snarling at me. Evan’s nostrils flared, he could smell my fear.
“There’s more to this than you are telling me,” he growled, “Is it Kendrick? Did he hurt you?”
I shook my head. Kendrick had never actually hurt me himself. He let a whole host of horrible things happen to me. Which almost felt worse.
“What can we do to fix this, Lee?” he pleaded.
“There is no fixing me, Ev,” I whispered looking up at him, “I’m broken. I’ve always been broken, I just didn’t know how badly.”
“You’re not broken, Lee.”
“She had a pack, Ev,” I whispered, “She ran with wolves. She didn’t like
them, they didn’t like her, but still, she doesn’t understand being alone anymore.”
Evan sighed, “Try to go back to sleep. We’ll talk this over in the morning.” I laid back down and Evan rubbed my back until I drifted away from consciousness.
Evan didn’t talk about it in the morning, he wasn’t in the apartment when I woke up. It took four cups of coffee to wake myself up enough to start moving. I wanted to be excited today. I was getting to retire the pinching socket of my old claw prosthetic. But the weight of my wolf was growing heavier each morning. The weight of her grief was hard to handle.
I had an appointment in Mainsbury to get fitted for my new prosthetic. It wasn’t going to be as slick as the bionic arm had been, but it would be better than the old claw one I was using now.
I pulled into the lot of the strip mall that housed Mainsbury Prosthetics, the closest prosthetist by nearly 500 miles. I thanked my lucky stars he was good, and a fan of new tech. Dr. Douglas was waiting for me in the office with a big smile on his face.
“The bionic barmaid has returned,” he’d been a huge fan of the positive publicity his office had gotten by the fundraiser Easterville had done for me, he had the articles posted prominently in his office.
“Hi Dr. Douglas,” I said with a weak smile. My wolf was sullen inside of me, but I was doing my best to have my own excitement.
“I have some good news and I have some bad news,” he said leading me back passed the reception desk to his office.
“Start with the bad news first,” I said. It was never a good sign to drive over an hour to a doctor’s appointment and have them say they had bad news.
“I won’t have you walking out today with a prosthetic,” he said apologetically.
I groaned, it had taken two weeks to even get this appointment. Dr. Douglas was always booked. I bit back another groan, I was lucky he could squeeze me in this early, “What’s the good news?”
Tooth and Claw (Kootenai Pack Book 1) Page 16