An Author's Angst

by Maggie Ryan

  "Better fasten your seat belt, Dina, or you'll find Brandon won't be pleased at that either," Jeffrey said, his hand on the door. "Have a good weekend and I'll see you on Monday." Once he heard the click of her safety belt, he closed the door and stepped back. When she smiled and waved as she pulled away, he smiled back. Only when her tail lights had disappeared did his smile slip. He hoped his parting words had not sounded too abrupt but he had no desire to open that particular door. He'd been burned too many times before. Sure, he lived in Corbin's Bend and would love to meet a woman who was interested in him, but unless he found one that was interested in spanking as well, and not just when playing around or to see how it felt, instructing him what position to use, how hard to swat and when to stop, he wasn't interested.

  "Been there, done that," he muttered as he stood in the growing twilight. He was way past the age to play games anymore; well those types of games. He'd had a relationship that he'd thought could be the 'one' but proved not to be anywhere close to what he desired. He was a spanko in the truest sense. Spanking to him meant far more than just play or as foreplay to sex, no matter how great that sex might be. Spanking a bare bottom was also a form of discipline and was something he had very firm beliefs about. There was just something about a woman who gave her trust to a man to discipline her, to help her become the person she wished to be. Though he'd tried to deny the need to include discipline in any spanking play, it was too deeply imbedded in his core to disappear.

  He wanted that certain someone who would crawl across his lap, a smile on her face, a giggle in her voice as he administered a playful spanking. He also wanted that same woman who was willing to offer herself for a far different kind of spanking. A woman who came to him, contrition written on her face and heard in her voice as she admitted to the need to be taken across his knees. She would trust him implicitly to heat her bottom far beyond the light blush of play. One who wouldn't attempt to top from the bottom but would accept his discipline as well as his love. God, he wanted to be Head of Household to a woman who desperately wanted to be Taken In Hand. Those titles weren't just words to him—they were a lifestyle that he continued to search for and had yet to find.

  Clicking the button on his key fob, he walked towards his car. He recognized the irony of his choice of vehicles. Sure, he worked in environmental sciences and knew there were cars available that had a lesser impact on that environment. However, he was too large, too tall and too old to want to fold himself into some eco-friendly electric or hybrid car. He'd reuse, recycle and repurpose, but the greenies of the world would just have to forgive him. The commute between his home and the lab would be taken in his very safe and very comfortable Tahoe. Living in Colorado had also weighed toward his choice. Weather could turn in an instant in the mountains and having four wheel drive was not just another accessory; it could prove to be a life saver. There had been times when he'd pulled cars out of a ditch when they'd slid off the roads on ice that was not seen until too late.

  Tuning the radio to his favorite station, he pulled out of his spot and drove in the opposite direction Dina had taken. The lab was located almost exactly halfway between Corbin's Bend and Denver. He decided that he might as well hit the larger grocery store to pick up the items he'd need for the next several weeks. Living alone was often the pits but it also meant he needed to stock up far less often than most of his neighbors.

  He'd loaded the bags in the back and just pushed the button to start the Tahoe when the radio clicked off and the phone system activated. Buckling his seat belt, he grinned as he pushed the small button that depicted a person speaking. Looking at the display screen, he saw a very familiar name.

  "Hey, Charles, what's up?"

  Charles Robinson was a very good friend of his. Not only did his law firm often contract with the lab for projects that would help make or denounce claims made by various clients, he too was a resident at Corbin's Bend. Hell, he wasn't just a resident—he was head of the Disciplinary Board.

  "Please tell me you are not still at the lab," Charles asked.

  "Remind me to remind you that you said that the next time you've got some project that just can't wait," Jeffrey answered with a chuckle. "But, no, after I chased Dina out, I decided to run into Denver and restock. Do you need me to pick up something for you while I'm here?"

  Charles's laugh came through the speakers clearly. Technology was truly amazing and was changing by leaps and bounds. Jeffrey remembered cars that had no seat belts, much less air bags. Though he had yet to see the futuristic cars he'd dreamed of driving/flying since he'd watched the Jetson's growing up, he had to admit you could practically live in a car these days. With all the plugs, dials, built in tvs, phones, and leather reclining seats—hell, his Tahoe was better equipped and far more comfortable than his dorm room had been in college.

  "As tempting as it is to have you as my personal shopper, no, I can't think of anything I need. I was calling to see if you're interested in helping out with the science fair this year. We're short a couple of judges and I instantly thought of you."

  "Me and who else?"

  "Well, Dina, of course."

  "I might be her boss, Charles, but I just gave the poor girl a lecture about balancing work and life. I'd look like an idiot if I now tell her she is required to spend hours judging some science experiments."

  "So, give her some comp time in exchange," Charles suggested. "Unless you have some urgent project, we'd really appreciate the help."

  Jeffrey had no problem volunteering for himself but still was reluctant to draw Dina into the mix. "All I can promise is that I'll ask."

  "That's all I can ask," Charles agreed. "Oh, one more thing, you'll need to attend a pre-fair committee meeting."

  "I need a committee to tell me how to judge a kid's project?"

  "Not exactly. The committee comes up with some ideas that might be age appropriate for smaller kids. You don't want to have the entire elementary school do the same project, do you? And, there are also a few rules to go over. Every year some parent can't seem to let their child do the project themselves."

  Jeffrey shrugged. "Well, these are little kids you are talking about. I can't believe their attention span is that long."

  "I'm talking about the high school mostly."

  "Wait a second, exactly how much time are we talking about?"

  "For you and Dina, just the meeting and then the actual judging day." Charles's laugh rang through the speaker again. "Oh, and if you can think of some cool experiment to demonstrate, that would be a great addition to the fair. Get the kids hooked on science while they are young and receptive to new ideas. You know, the world will be in their hands soon enough."

  "Reminding me that I'm approaching my golden years is not the best way to reel me in, Charles."

  "What, you need me to blow smoke up your ass? Okay, you are a wonderfully intelligent scientist, Dr. Humphries. It would be the children of Corbin's Bend immense honor to sit at your feet and watch you show them why science is so magical." Jeffrey's laughter had Charles chuckling as well.

  "God, does Violet know what a bullshitter you are?"

  "No and let's leave it that way. Give it some thought and if you decide…"

  "Hell, I'll do it just so I don't have to listen to you anymore. I'm sure that even if Dina doesn't want to judge, she'll be willing to help me come up with something cool enough for the kids."

  "Thanks, Jeff. One more thing."

  "You're really pushing your luck, dude."

  "Dude went out years ago. Besides, this isn't for me. Violet wants to know if you'll come to dinner next Saturday. Ever and Rob are going to come and a few others. Nothing fancy, we'll just grill some steaks."

  "Sure, it's been too long since I've seen your lovely Violet. Now, let me get off the phone and back into the store before it's too late."

  "Too late? I thought you said you'd finished your shopping."

  "Unless you wish me to appear on your doorstep empty handed, I'm gonna need t
o get some more beer." The call ended with Charles agreeing that beer would be good. After Jeffrey loaded his additional purchases into the Tahoe, he finally started towards home. If nothing else, at least the phone call had managed to give him something to consider besides the lack of a woman in his life. He began to think of how best to approach Dina and what could possibly have the kids of today so awed that they'd think science was cooler than video games. Hell, did kids even use 'cool' anymore?

  Turning into the gates of the community, he drove down Spanking Loop, a smile appearing on his face as it did every single time. He had to admit, the founders had a sense of humor. The large dome that served as the community's hub was on his right as he drove towards home. He'd unload and put away his groceries, open a bottle of the dark ale he preferred and find something on the TV to watch. It might not be what he preferred, but until he had someone to share his life with, he'd do the best he could to entertain himself and look forward to spending time with his good friends the following weekend.

  Chapter Three

  Venia fluffed the last pillow and gave the room a final glance. Everything was in its place, the floor swept, the bookshelves dusted. She had just enough time to shower and dress before the first of her fellow book club members arrived. As she turned on the water to heat, she tucked her hair up into a shower cap. It might be old-fashioned but she found it easier than attempting to keep her hair dry when it wasn't necessary to wash it. Undressing, she caught her reflection in the large mirror on the back of the door. Well, if you discounted the shower cap, she thought she had held up pretty well. While she had to admit not everything appeared to be in quite the same places they'd been at twenty-five, and being twice that old, okay, a teensy bit more than twice, she wasn't that bad looking. Turning, she glanced over her shoulder at her behind. Definitely larger than in her youth, but her husband had always said he loved a nice padded rear. She sighed, remembering how she used to sneak into the bathroom after a session across Greg's lap to see if her rear end appeared as awful as it felt. Despite her being positive her butt would have basically fallen off after being roasted, it never had been. Today, she saw nothing but pale skin. She couldn't remember the last time she'd even had any marks much less any color left on her ass.

  "Great, not only are you feeling sorry for yourself because your muse has flown the coop, you are starting another pity party because your ass is the color of school paste!" Shaking her head, she continued her one-sided conversation, "Venia Varner, get yourself under control. No one likes to be around pouty, whiny people!" Lifting one hand, she smacked her butt and then giggled. "That's better, put a smile on your face. There are far more serious problems in this world than either your books or your ass." She stepped under the spray, washed quickly and stepped out, wrapping a large towel around her body. Removing the shower cap and shaking her head, she used her fingers to comb through the locks. Her brunette hair had strands of silver running through it—she refused to refer to them as gray. Silver was a noble color, granted it tended to look far nobler at a man's temples, but noble it was. She'd just slipped on her shoes when the doorbell rang.

  "Come in, you know where everything is," Venia said as she gestured for Jonathon, Quincy, and several others to enter. Before she could close the door, another car pulled up to the curb. She grinned as she watched Dina lean over to kiss Brandon. Young love was so wonderful to see—heck, who was she kidding? All love was wonderful.

  "Hi, Venia," Dina called as she gave Brandon a last wave. "I'm so excited. Every time I come, I still think it's incredible. I mean, how many other book clubs discuss such great, sexy books?"

  "You'll get no argument from me," Venia promised as she closed the door and motioned to a hall tree. "You can hang your purse there and then we'll get you something to drink. We're just waiting for a few more before we start."

  Dina hung up her purse and found the kitchen. "Hi, Jonathon, it's so great to see you."

  "It's wonderful to see you," Jonathon said, giving her a hug. "Can I get you something to drink?" After pouring Dina a glass of white wine, the two went into the living room to find a seat. Several others had already settled in, copies of the book they'd read sitting on laps or on nearby tables. Venia joined them with Lizzy in tow.

  "The gang's all here," Venia said with a smile. "Everyone have something to drink?"

  "I do but didn't I see Ange arriving with some big box?" Ever asked with a look towards the kitchen bar. "You do remember I'm eating for two, right?"

  "Everleigh, I believe that excuse is no longer valid once you've had the baby," Quincy teased, bending to give the new mother a hug before taking a seat.

  "Ah, well, it was worth a try." Ever shrugged. Her attention was drawn away from the bakery box as her friends insisted on seeing the newest pictures of her new son, Samuel Augustus Montgomery.

  Ever pulled up the latest on her cell phone, her smile growing as 'oh, he is so cute', 'what a handsome little boy', and other remarks that Venia knew made the new mom proud. As Ever assured everyone that Rob was perfectly capable of tending to his son for a few hours, Violet tried to surreptitiously slip one of the pillows beneath her rump, but, of course, everyone noticed. She gave them a sheepish grin and then shrugged. "Yet another reason I love this club."

  Her statement was met with agreeing smiles. There were two book clubs in Corbin's Bend and while some of the people in the room attended both, this specific club was for the taken-in-hands. They chose books that very often revolved around the erotic genre and included those containing BDSM, D/s and DD elements. As the bottoms of their partnership, knowing that avenues were available to discuss concerns and offer support was like a free group therapy session with the additional benefit of refreshments.

  Venia almost wished she could have a pillow as well; not to sit on but to bite. She'd promised Lizzy that she would not make her plea for help until they had discussed last month's book. Though she heard her own voice speaking, she really couldn't remember what she'd said. The book hadn't been all that interesting to her but other members seemed to have enjoyed it. Perhaps her response was slightly skewed because every time she read a hot spanking scene, all she thought about was that she wasn't getting spankings herself. Lizzy finally put her out of her misery by patting her arm.

  "Let's take our break and enjoy Ange's fabulous goodies. Our Venia has something that I've assured her we will all be glad to do our best to help."

  Jonathon gave Venia a look. "What can I do to help?" His question was repeated by several others, their faces showing their shock mixed with concern. Venia was known throughout the Bend as one of the friendliest, most giving, most pulled together person they knew. To hear she was actively seeking help, had them all looking at each other as if leery to ask for more details.

  "It's nothing serious, is it?" Quincy asked. "I mean, nothing life threatening?"

  "No, no," Venia assured her. "I didn't mean to worry any of you. It's just that I need to borrow your imaginations. I don't know about you, but I could sure use a cupcake and some coffee first. Violet, darling, you stay right there. I'll bring yours to you." Her insistence to serve Violet so the woman wouldn't have to reseat herself on the pillow was typical Venia and her friends seemed to relax a bit.

  "Okay, I've stuffed myself with two cupcakes," Ever said as she took the final sip of her coffee. "If you don't tell me what's up, I'm going to eat another and that would be a disaster. So, for the sake of my ass, please, Venia, you've got the floor."

  Venia nodded but still made sure everybody had what they needed, asking if she should make another pot of coffee.

  "Sit down," Lizzy said, patting the cushion of the couch. "We are all your friends, Venia. It's time to make your request."

  Venia nodded, once more looking around the room and seeing nothing but concerned faces. Taking a deep breath, she explained that her muse had evidently decided to take an extended leave of absence.

  "In other words, she's AWOL and I need help. Lizzy had a great idea which
was to ask you to help suggest a different direction. I've been quite successful in romance, however, perhaps I've scraped the bottom of that barrel. I'm asking for you to suggest another avenue."

  When she finished her spiel, body language relaxed as people finally understood that their friend wasn't seriously ill. "Well, what about something historical?" Ever suggested. "You said once that the secret of a good story was research. It could be a lot of fun to go back in time and write about a different era."

  Shaking her head, Venia spoke again. "That's another thing. My publisher is already on me about my looming deadline. I'm supposed to have the book done in the next few weeks. That doesn't give me a lot of time to do research."

  "So, go ahead in time," Jonathon suggested. "A time travel book. That way, you can skip the research as the future is unknown. You'd get to make everything up and no picky reviewers could catch you out on whether or not some character's clothing or hairstyle fit the book's time period."

  "Or what about something having to do with some folk-lore or perhaps an urban myth? You know, turn some campfire story into a book, and give it a new twist or something." Violet's suggestion drew a few exaggerated shivers as if memories of being scared out of their minds around some fire were being relived.

  Several other suggestions were made, including mystery and true crime drama, but it wasn't until someone mentioned thriller that Venia perked up. "Oh, I've always loved thrillers. Not a slasher book or anything, I don't think I could write about that. But, you know, a medical thriller. No, wait! What about this!" Venia's face had turned animated, bringing smiles to the others' faces. "With all the recent biotechnology scares, you know bird flu, Ebola, anthrax, etc. a great many people think the end is coming where we all start just collapsing in the streets, gasping our last breath. Of course, I'm not saying there won't be some cure found, but I can see a lot of build up before some brilliant scientist convinces the government that he has discovered the key."