Rumors: Megan & Vinnie

by Rachael Brownell

RYDER: I’ll let Amara know you’ll be picking her up tomorrow.

  That was as close to a conversation as we’ve gotten in the last six months. Unless it’s about Amara, we don’t talk. I try; he shuts me down.

  ME: Okay. Have a good night.

  I wait and wait, but he doesn’t reply. I knew he wouldn’t, but I wanted him to. Not because I want Ryder back like the rumors suggest but because I’m hoping that one day he’ll find a way to forgive me. That maybe we can be friends or some semblance of friends.

  The drive home is quiet and long. I surf the radio, but it’s drowned out by my thoughts. Thoughts of Vinnie mainly. The fact that I feel like he’s walking into Dixon tomorrow with a target on his back. Because of me. Because of my reputation.

  He’ll hear the rumors and decide he doesn’t want anything to do with me. He’ll believe them. He’ll assume I had an ulterior motive the entire time.

  Telling him now will only stress him out. It won’t change anything. He needs to focus on his interview tomorrow. Because there’s always going to be another rumor, another incorrect assumption that paints me in a poor light eventually. I’ll do whatever I can to extinguish that one as well.

  If he gets the job, I’ll tell him what I heard. First, he needs to get the job, though. That means he’s staying. If he stays, we can see where this is headed.

  If that’s what we’re going to do, I want to go into this with open communication. Honesty from the start. I don’t want to give him any reason not to trust me.

  As I pull into the driveway, I notice the green light on my phone is blinking. Sliding my finger across the screen, I’m surprised to find a text message from Emerson.

  EMERSON: I really want to believe the rumors are lies. I want to believe that you’ve moved on. It’s hard though when you tell Ryder he can drop by whenever he wants. Things like that give me doubt. It makes it sound like you want him to stop over. So, whatever is going on with you, please leave Ryder out of it because you know as well as I do, he’s not interested in getting back together with you. You hurt him but more than anything, you broke his trust and that can never be repaired.

  My thumbs are posed to type a response, but I’m at a loss for words. Staring up at my dark, lonely house, I drop my phone in my lap and cry.

  Not because her words hurt, but because they’re true. The pain I’ve inflicted on others, especially Ryder, is still raw. It still hurts.

  Pulling myself together, I pick up my phone and type the only words that come to mind.

  ME: I know and I’m sorry.

  Chapter Seven

  My eyes are puffy. I cried myself to sleep last night. Emerson’s words continued to haunt me as I drifted off, turning my dreams into nightmares.

  Flashbacks of the day Ryder caught me in bed with Jared.

  The moment I saw his eyes.

  The aftermath of what happened in the weeks and months after. How I tried to shelter Amara from all of it while still fighting to get Ryder back. To make him understand the truth.

  Mostly, the little bit of hope he dangled in front of me only to rip it away. The vacation.

  That’s the one nightmare that haunts me the most. I used to have it every night after I moved out. I’d wake up crying or, like this morning, with puffy eyes that required heavy amounts of concealer before I left the house.

  I thought there was a chance for us to rekindle what we lost. For him to forgive me. If I had been paying attention, watching him closer, looking for the warning signs, I never would have gotten excited about the possibility. His day-to-day actions, his choice of words, the fact he moved to the garage… all clear signs he was moving in a different direction than I was.

  Pushing the covers off me, I force myself out of bed to start the day.

  Coffee, check.

  Shower, check.

  Concealer, double check.

  Just as I’m about to leave the house to pick up Amara from school, I notice a text from Vinnie on my phone. I haven’t spoken to him since I left Tyler’s house last night. I wanted to call him, but after my emotional breakdown, I knew it was a bad idea.

  He would have come over. The last thing I need is to become dependent on him, or anyone else for that matter.

  I can take care of myself. If I need someone to listen to me vent, I have Ally.

  VINNIE: Got the job. Did you know Herman is retiring?

  Well, shit. I didn’t see that coming. He’s still relatively young. Dixon Advertising is his pride and joy. I can’t imagine that was an easy decision for him to make.

  ME: Congrats! I had no idea.

  What I really want to ask is who’s taking over for Herman. If I had to guess, it would be Hunter. He’s the oldest and probably the only one who would want the position.

  VINNIE: Tyler and I should be out of here fairly early. Want to celebrate tonight? Dinner?

  ME: I can’t. I have Amara but I’ll take a rain check. Later this week maybe? Lunch if you can sneak away.

  VINNIE: It’s a date. I’ll call you later.

  A date. As in, outside the house. Not in my bed. With actual food and not junk we order online that gets delivered.

  It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a real date. Ryder and I used to go out every Monday night until a few years ago. I don’t even remember why we stopped, but we did. We stopped doing a lot together a few years ago.

  Amara and I are finishing up dinner when Vinnie calls. I’m loading the dishwasher and without thinking, ask her to answer it for me. It’s a habit I’m going to have to break.

  Normally, it’d be Ally or Justine. She’d run into her room, shut the door, and talk their ear off while I finish whatever I’m doing at the moment. Eventually I’d have to pry my phone out of her hands.

  Not today.

  Today she takes a seat at the kitchen table.

  That was my first clue it wasn’t one of the girls.

  When I hear her side of the conversation, my heart goes into overdrive wondering what he might be saying to her.

  “Amara. She’s doing the dishes. Who are you? I love my Uncle Ty. He’s funny, and he lets me stay up late when I stay the night. Don’t tell my mom. Almost six. Everyone says I look like my daddy, but I want to look like my mommy. She’s prettier. I don’t want to look like a boy.”

  I’m frozen in place, listening to her talk. She acts like a little adult when she talks to adults. When she’s with her girlfriends, it’s all giggles and silly words. Not right now. Right now, she’s making her mama proud.

  “Amara, sweetheart, can you bring Mama her phone please?” I call from across the room.

  She turns her back to me and lowers her voice so I can’t hear what she’s saying. Quickly washing my hands, I turn to find her seat empty and hear the pitter patter of little feet running down the hall.

  Following her into her room, she’s lying on her bed, giggling at something Vinnie’s said when I walk in. There’s the little girl I know and love.

  “You’re funny. Tell me another joke.”

  She rolls around in a fit of laughter, and I can’t help but smile.

  “Uh, oh. Momma found me. I think she wants to talk to you. Okay. I get home from school at four o’clock tomorrow. Okay. Bye, Vinnie.”

  Amara hands me my phone as she walks out of her room.

  “I like him. He’s nice,” she notes before disappearing down the hall.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey. She’s a sweet little girl. She has a lot of nice things to say about her mama.” Vinnie’s voice is filled with joy when he speaks. She’s had the same effect on him that he had on her. I can practically hear his smile as he talks.

  “She’s my everything,” I note.

  “Well, she asked me if I would come over tomorrow and play a game with her. I told her I would check with you. I’m not sure how you feel about that.”

  I’m not sure how I feel about it either. I don’t think I’m ready for her to meet him, not as anything other than my friend and not here, but I
can tell they’ll get along when they do.

  “How about we do dinner this weekend instead, to celebrate, and I’ll bring her along,” I suggest as I take a seat on Amara’s bed, tracing the pink stripes with my fingertips.

  “That sounds fun. What’s her favorite place to eat?”

  She has dozens, literally, and Vinnie and I discuss them one by one. Each with their own draw. The only one I’m opposed to is, of course, the one Vinnie votes for. Probably for the same reason Amara likes it so much. All the games they can play. I win the battle, promising we can go there next time.

  “I guess I’ll see you this weekend, then,” I say when the line falls silent.

  Have we already run out of things to talk about? Is this the beginning of the end?

  “We could still have lunch tomorrow if you want. Just the two of us.”

  “I could make that work. What time?”

  “I’m guessing noon, but I’m not really sure. I know I have a few meetings in the morning with clients. Hunter will be sitting in to help me transition, so they shouldn’t take any longer than usual, however long that is. My afternoon is booked solid from two o’clock on. If I can get out of there are noon and meet up with you, we should have a few hours.”

  A few hours.

  To eat lunch.

  We don’t even need one hour to do that.

  “I’ll plan on being in the city around noon, then, and we can go from there. Just shoot me a text in the morning when you figure out what time you should be able to meet up.”

  “Or you could come to the office,” he says, his voice trailing off.

  “Um, I’d rather not.”

  “Why?”

  “For starters, my ex works there.”

  “So? He knows we’re together, and he doesn’t care.”

  I replay his words over and over again in my head. The old me would have focused on the part where he doesn’t care. The current me, the new and improved me, is focused on only two words. “We’re together.”

  “Megan. Are you still there?”

  “Yeah, it’s just…”

  Just what? You freaked me out. You put a title on us. We haven’t had this conversation yet, and you jumped the gun. I’m cool with it, but we should probably talk about this.

  Oh, and now that you have the job, there’s this rumor going around I think you should know about before you make assumptions and throw me to the curb. Because as much as I’m not sure what’s going on between us, I know for certain I don’t want you to toss me aside just yet.

  “Look, you don’t have to come to the office if you don’t want to. I can meet you in the lobby or at the restaurant. It’s not a big deal. But I want you to know that I don’t plan on hiding this. People are going to see us together, they’re going to talk, and there’s nothing we can do to stop them. Hell, they’re probably already talking, and I’ve only been working there a day.”

  He has no idea. They’ve been talking about him since before he started, before he even interviewed. No one knew who he was, but that didn’t stop them from speculating who he might be and what he was doing with me.

  It never stops them.

  “Let’s play it by ear. I’ll text you when I’m on my way. You can tell me where to meet you.”

  “Sounds like a solid plan.”

  “Okay.”

  “I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow then,” he says, letting his voice fade.

  I could sit here and talk to him all night. His voice is soothing yet sexy. Hearing it brings back memories of last week. The time we spent together and the things we did. Especially the naughty things. Those are some of my fondest memories.

  After finally hanging up, I get Amara ready for bed. She peppers me for questions nonstop until I finally tuck her in and turn out the lights.

  “Mama, you like him, don’t you?”

  Nothing gets by her. For six years old, she’s a smart cookie. She sees more than I think she does and can read me like an open book.

  “I do, baby. He’s very nice.”

  “I like him too. He’s funny, and if Uncle Ty likes him, then he has to be a good person.”

  If only she knew more about how the world worked. If she understood that because one person likes someone, it doesn’t mean they’re good people. Uncle Ty liked me at one point, and I’m not that great of a person. I have my flaws.

  Maybe I was able to convince him otherwise while I was married to Ryder, or maybe he was just nice to me because he felt he had to be, but once the news got out about out divorce, that was the end of our friendship.

  He barely looked at me at his wedding. My lack of an invitation didn’t surprise me in the slightest. It also didn’t stop me from attending, and I’m sure they both knew it wouldn’t.

  Now that I’m thinking about it, he hasn’t even spoken to me since before I signed the papers. Not even a hello. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s avoided seeing me.

  “He is a good person, Amara, but I want you to make that decision for yourself. Just because I like someone, or Uncle Ty likes someone, doesn’t mean you will. I hope you do, but if you don’t, that’s okay too.”

  “Daddy likes Emerson, and I like her. I’m sure I’ll like whoever you like too.”

  Of course she likes Emerson. Who doesn’t like Emerson? Apparently, she’s the nicest person on the planet and it’s forbidden to hate her.

  I’ve tried and failed.

  Even after a few nasty text messages, I can’t bring myself to hate her.

  That hasn’t stopped me from treating her poorly, some of which I regret. I’d never be a bitch to her in front of my daughter. As long as she’s a part of Ryder’s life, and I’m assuming it’s going to be for a while since he moved her in after only a few weeks, we need to get along.

  For Amara sake.

  For my sanity.

  “Try and get some sleep, baby girl.”

  Kissing Amara on the forehead, I tuck the covers tightly around her and close the door behind me as I back out of her room.

  Divorce was messy.

  Adding Emerson to the mix was complicated at first. It’s working out fine, though. Amara is adjusting, and so are the rest of us.

  Now Vinnie.

  What do I tell her? I don’t even know what we are, and he wants to meet her.

  That can’t happen.

  Not yet.

  Not until I know what this is and where it’s headed. I need to protect Amara’s heart as well as my own. There’s no telling if I’ll survive another heartbreak.

  One is enough for a lifetime. Two is more than anyone should have to bear.

  Chapter Eight

  For four days, I managed to avoid coming to the office. In fact, he made it rather easy for me. Actually, that may have been more Hunter’s doing than anyone’s.

  Meeting after meeting.

  If I didn't chicken out and cancel, he did.

  By the time Friday rolled around, I was itching to see him. I was even excited about introducing him to Amara. When she woke up sick on Saturday morning, I assumed it was the universe’s way of telling me the timing was wrong.

  Vinnie understood, as I knew he would, and instead, took the opportunity to search for a place to live. Living with Tyler was becoming a challenge, I’m sure. Not just that, but Tyler and Angela are newlyweds. I’m sure they want their own space. I remember what Ryder and I were like after we were married.

  Free to do what we wanted, where we wanted, whenever we wanted.

  Didn’t feel like getting dressed? No problem. Walk around the house naked.

  Horny? Have sex on the kitchen counter.

  Not only that, but really get into it and make as much noise as you want.

  The funny part… we were living in an apartment. I’m sure our neighbors hated us most days. The lady next door was old, and I doubt she appreciated my screaming Ryder’s name at the top of my lungs all hours of the day.

  The beginning of any relationship is the best. After you pass the nervous sta
ge, as you’re getting comfortable with the other person, you find out who you are in the relationship. You give a piece of yourself to the other person in a way. You find your courage to show them who you are and who you want to be.

  Vinnie and I are still working most of this out. Aside from that first week, we haven’t been able to spend any time together. Sure, we talk on the phone every night. He sexts me from work on occasion, which is a lot of fun. But I still miss the feel of his body against mine. The way my heart picks up a few beats when our eyes meet. The heat that rises between us when our bodies are close yet not touching each other.

  Most importantly, I miss the way he makes me feel.

  When we’re together, it’s like I’m the most important person in the world. The only person in the world.

  So, with Amara at Ryder’s for part of the week this week, I’m making Vinnie my priority, the way he makes me one when we’re together. I’m heading into town to have lunch with him. I’m facing the office, the stares, the gossip, all so I can experience those three seconds when our eyes first connect.

  It’ll be worth it.

  I have no doubt.

  Or I’ll chicken out the second I step into the building and text him that I’m in the lobby, waiting for him. Praying he doesn’t ask me to come upstairs.

  Yep, I’m a chicken.

  ME: You still coming?

  VINNIE: Just finished. Be down in two.

  ME: Are you sure?

  Far be it from me to doubt him, but lunch was planned for noon, and the clock will strike one o’clock any minute.

  VINNIE: If you leave now you might not get to see me before I leave town.

  Leave town?

  Where is he going? For how long? I thought he was here to stay.

  He has to be teasing me.

  We’re supposed to have dinner tonight. Did he forget?

  Before I have the chance to respond, I catch sight of him stepping out of the elevators. He’s staring down at his phone, walking aimlessly straight ahead. When he finally looks up and scans the room, it takes him only mere seconds for him to find me, a smile slowly forming on his lips when our eyes meet.