“Whatever. I don’t have to listen to this shit—”
“You do if you don’t want me to tell Jen,” Ryder states firmly, cutting Jared off.
The line goes silent. Ryder nods at me again to continue.
“Jen deserves better than you,” I begin, pausing to clear my throat. “You’re a selfish person, Jared. You take advantage of anyone you can. You’re only looking out for yourself. You had an ulterior motive the entire time, and you knew how it would end. I would be devastated, and you wanted to be the one to help me pick up the pieces. You wanted a piece of ass. What you didn’t count on was the fact that Ryder and I still had to coexist. You tried to play both of us so you looked like the good guy.
“I should have known better. We should have known better,” I say, looking directly in Ryder’s eyes. For the first time since the moment he walked in on me and Jared, I don’t see contempt in them. “But this ends now. You have a choice to make. Either you can own your mistakes, tell Jen what happened and pray she forgives you. Or we can tell her. She deserves to know who she’s marrying. She deserves to know the tragic mess that you are.”
As my words fade into the background, Ryder stares at his phone, waiting for Jared to reply. I don’t need to hear what he has to say. I know what he’s thinking right now.
He’s angry. More than likely, clenching his fists and wanting to punch something.
There’s only one time I’ve seen him irate. It was at a frat party after he’d had too much to drink. Ryder was passed out upstairs. I was ready to leave, and when I went to tell Jared that my roommate was on her way to pick me up, I found him grinding on some blond chick. Instead of interrupting, I went out front to wait.
I should have known better.
A guy followed me, cornered me, and tried to feel me up. Before he could get too far, Jared was pulling him off me and tossing him off the porch. The rage in his eyes scared me. I’d never seen him so angry before.
I imagine he’s feeling the same level of anger and haterd right now he felt back then. Someone was threatening someone he cared about. Someone was threatening his life, his reputation and forcing him to make a decision he didn’t want to make.
Well, Jared, this time, you brought this on yourself. Congratulations. You’re about to take responsibility for your actions for the first time ever. No one has your back, so you better pray that Jen is forgiving. If not, you’re about to lose everything because you were greedy. You wanted more than you deserved, things that weren’t yours.
“I’ll be in touch,” Jared says before promptly hanging up.
Ryder’s still smiling. He enjoyed that far more than he should have. Me, on the other hand… I feel like I might puke. My stomach is in knots, and the coffee I had for breakfast is threatening to make an appearance.
“You okay?” Ryder asks as I force myself to stand.
“No. None of this is okay.”
“You’re worried about Jen, aren’t you?”
I’ve met her once. She seemed nice, had her shit together but was also a little clueless about who she was involved with. Can I really judge her for that, though? I was clueless when it came to Jared as well. He has a way of making people see only what he wants them to. The good in him. He’s great at hiding who he really is.
“In a way, yes, but she’ll get over this. She’ll move on and, sadly, so will Jared. There will be another girl. Someone else he’ll fool into loving him. He’ll be the person they need, and one day, he’ll ruin them too.”
Ryder nods in agreement but avoids eye contact.
“I can’t hate him, Megan. I want to, but I can’t. Without Jared, I wouldn’t have met you. As hard as this past year has been on me, on us, I’ll never regret the years we spent together, loving each other, raising Amara. I want you to hold onto that. Hold onto the good and let the bad go. Just know that amazing things lie ahead for you.”
His words bring me hope. Hope that he’s right. That if I hold onto the good and let go of the bad, things will work out the way they were meant to. That I’ll eventually find happiness.
“For you too,” I reply, reaching for the door handle. It jiggles in my hand, and then there’s a knock.
Unlocking the door, I open it to find Vinnie standing on the other side, grinning at me.
“I heard you were here,” he says, pulling me into his chest and wrapping his arms around me.
Vinnie is my happy place right now.
I could have opened the door to accusations of being in Ryder’s office alone. With the door locked. Nope. Not Vinnie. He already knows me better than most people. He has faith in me, trusts I’m a better person than that.
“Yep,” I mumble against his chest as he holds me.
“My afternoon is free if you want to get out of here,” he says, pulling away and holding me at arm’s length.
“I need a minute of your time before you step out,” Ryder says to Vinnie as we turn to leave.
“I’ll wait for you downstairs.” Smiling over my shoulder at Ryder, he smiles back, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like we’re going to be okay. We may not be married anymore, and life may be a little complicated right now, but we’re on the same page.
Mutual respect.
Trust.
Love for what we used to have and hope for the future.
As I wait in the lobby for Vinnie, my mind replays the last hour. My conversation with Ryder. Our conversation with Jared. The ultimatum we gave him.
The roller coaster of emotions I’ve been through lately.
It’s over. The past is behind us.
As soon as the thought crosses my mind, my phone rings in my purse and Jared’s name flashes across the screen.
Well, not his name. I updated it to say “jackass” after everything went down.
I should have changed my number. Deleted his. Blocked him. Something.
It’s too late now.
“What?” I practically scream into the phone.
“What does he know? What did you tell him?”
“Everything, Jared. He deserved to know the truth. I should have known you would try and spin it to your advantage.” Anger does not even begin to describe the feeling coursing through my veins. It’s more like hatred mixed with rage. There’s a storm brewing inside me, and it’s just beginning to ramp up.
I was able to keep myself in check in Ryder’s office. I didn’t need to, but I did. More because I knew I’d fly off the handle and say something stupid if I didn’t. Or the fact that Ryder was right there evaluating each and every word I spoke.
“You’ve ruined everything, you know that. Jen’s not going to understand. She’s not going to forgive me again.”
Again?
One single word and everything becomes clearer.
He’s done this before.
Cheated.
Broken Jen’s trust.
Earning someone’s forgiveness once is hard. Hell, I never thought Ryder would forgive me, and I knew I was a pawn in Jared’s game.
“Let me break this down for you. You ruined this. Not me. Not Ryder. You did this to yourself. I’ll never understand why. You didn’t stand to gain anything. I never would have run to you. I wouldn’t have left Ryder for you. You were my friend, Jared. That was it. And now, you don’t even have that. So, blame me all you want but take a long, hard look in the mirror before you start throwing accusations around. If there is anyone who’s to blame for this, it’s you. Your ego. Your need to stick your dick anywhere you can. Own your mistakes for once. I did, and you know what? My conscience is clear now. I don’t know if yours will ever be.”
Hanging up before he can respond, I make quick work of blocking him. I never want to speak to him again. He can rot in Hell for all I care. I hope Jen leaves him. I hope she finds someone else, someone who will treat her with the love and respect she deserves.
No one deserves to be treated the way Jared has treated her. Or me. Or Ryder. The people he’s supposed to care about. The peopl
e who cared about him.
Everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. A lie to gain something for himself. Something he wants, if only for a short period of time. It’s a disease, the way he lies, the way he treats people. He infected me, and he’s infected Jen.
Two days.
If he doesn’t tell her in the next two days, I’m calling her. Better yet, I’ll go down to Chicago and tell her face to face. So she can see the look in my eyes when she hears what I have to say. So she can see that I’m not lying.
“You okay?” Vinnie says, sliding up behind me and wrapping his arms around me.
The first thing I notice is that I don’t jump. Even in my focused state, my body must have sensed his presence. Now that I’m paying attention, my heart is racing in my chest, beating to a rhythm that’s only for him.
“Yeah, fine.”
“Are you trying to convince me or yourself because I’m not buying it. What happened up there? Do I need to go back and kick Ryder’s ass?”
Rolling my eyes even though he can’t see me, I shake my head before turning to face him.
“No. Really, I’m fine.”
“Are you going to tell me why you came to see Ryder?”
“It was time to finally put our past to rest.”
“Meaning…”
“Meaning we made peace. He knows the whole story from my point of view.”
“And?”
“And I think we’re finally at a place where we can co-exist without feeling hate toward each other. I needed him to understand what really happened, what drove me to make the decisions I did—”
“To forgive you.”
“No, I didn’t need that, but he did forgive me. He was also told a different version of what happened by Jared.”
His name. I do the best I can to avoid saying it out loud as much as possible. Mainly because it causes a sharp pain to radiate through my chest.
Not this time. This time it has no effect on me what so ever.
“Really? I bet that was an interesting spin on the truth.”
“You could say that. I’ll tell you all about it if we can get out of here. I’m ready to put the past behind me and focus on the future. This place reminds me of the many mistakes I’ve made in life, and even though I’m learning to forgive myself for most of them, it’s not a place I want to spend too much time.”
“Well, there is something I want to show you.”
Raising my eyebrow, Vinnie grins at me as he leans down and kisses me.
Screw the future. I’m going to learn to enjoy living in the present. Here. With Vinnie.
Chapter Eighteen
When Vinnie said that he was searching for an apartment, I imagined he would pick something small. One bedroom, maybe two. Just big enough for him. Somewhere downtown, close to the office.
It’s just him. He doesn’t need much space. If he works as much as Ryder does, he won’t be spending an absurd amount of time there.
In my mind, a house would be out of the question. Especially a cute, three-bedroom with a large backyard. In a subdivision of all places. He doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to live in a house that looks just like the one next door.
Vinnie is unique. Interesting. Different from other people. His perception is different than most people. He’s about as far from the “cookie cutter” mold as you can get.
These houses, as nice as they are, are all the same. Two or three main designs spread throughout the community. White or beige or light blue with a boring white front door and tan shutters around the windows.
This is the kind of community you get lost in at night. Probably the reason he was driving slow as we weaved through the community. I had to keep tapping my breaks from hitting him as he’d slow down and then speed up again.
I could see someone easily mistaking their house for someone else’s. You pull into the driveway, get out of the car, walk to the front door, but when you go to open it, you realize the key doesn’t work. You start to freak out just as you realize you’re at the wrong house. You live next door or on the next street.
You get easily confused, lost among the sea of houses that all look the same.
Sure, if you own the place, you can make it your own. Change things up with flowers or paint, but the design remains the same.
Vinnie doesn’t own this place.
“What do you think?” he asks, ushering me through the front door.
“It’s nice,” I say, taking in the picture-perfect living room that’s open to the kitchen and dining area.
“You really should learn how to lie better,” he jokes, pulling me further into the house. “It’s not my dream home, but it has potential and there’s plenty of room for everyone.”
Everyone?
Opening the first door we come to in the hall, I’m surprised to find a twin bed with white sheets and pink decorative pillows.
“For Amara when she comes over. You know, in case you want to stay the night here.”
Before I can respond, he tugs on my hand, pulling me further down the hall, not that I would have been able to find the words. Without even knowing it, he was saving me from saying something stupid. We pass another bedroom that’s currently empty and a bathroom before coming to a stop at the end of the hall.
“And this room is for us,” he states, pushing open a set of large french doors to reveal the master bedroom.
A king-size bed sits in the middle of the room, adorned with dark-gray sheets and navy-blue pillows. A nightstand with a lamp is on either side of the bed. A dresser on the opposite wall. In the corner by the window is a bucket chair with a small table, a book sitting on top of it.
“Say something,” he finally says after I’ve scanned the entire room, taking in as many little details as I can.
“I like it.”
“Enough to want to spend time over here?” he presses.
“I don't have to like your place to want to spend time with you, you know that.”
“Yeah, but if you stay here, I’m closer to work and can spend more time with you in the mornings. It’s closer for you to take Amara to school. You’ll spend less time in the car every day driving around. There’s more to do around here.”
What is his line of thought? Is he asking me to move in?
“If you’re asking me to stay the night with you, you know I will. Any chance I get when Amara’s with Ryder.”
I can’t bring myself to make eye contact with him. I don’t want him to see the fear in my eyes at what he’s suggesting. Scratch that. At what I think he’s suggesting. He hasn’t asked, and I don’t even know for a fact that he’s hinting at that. Even though it kind of feels that way.
“And when you have Amara?”
Moving further into the room and pretending to look around, I brush his question off by stepping into the master bathroom. It’s large but not grand. It has nothing on the master bathroom in Ryder’s house. That was a bathroom I could live in. And I did. Until I fucked things up.
But that’s neither here nor there. And it’s certainly not the best time to reminisce about my past mistakes. Because that’s where they need to stay. In. My. Past.
“Meg, look at me,” he urges.
When I turn around, Vinnie is leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest.
“Why are you freaking out on me?”
“I’m not. I’m just looking around. Checking out your new place.”
“My new place. Right. So, let’s talk about that.”
Oh, shit. He is asking me to move in.
Don’t do it, Vinnie. Not yet. Things aren’t that serious between us. We’ve only been dating a few weeks, and you can’t even call what we were doing that first week dating. We haven't spent enough time together to take this step.
“Wait—” I start to say, but he shakes his head at me, cutting my plea short.
“I’m not asking you to move in with me. I can see you’re freaking out, and I understand why. We’re not there yet.
I agree, but I can’t help but want us to be more. On a permanent basis. Daily. Nightly.” Letting out a sigh, he continues. “This is not my forever home. This is not the place we’ll share once we do move in together. That place, we’ll pick out together. With Amara. Until then, this is where I’ll live because it’s too soon to live with you. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you in my bed at night or in my arms when I wake up. I want you and Amara to feel comfortable here. I want you to have a key so you can come and go as you please.
“Stay here one night a week or seven, whatever you’re comfortable with. All I know is that I want you here as much as you’re willing to be. I like that you’re a part of my life, Megan. I like the person I am with you. There’s a part of me that’s been missing for years, a part that I’ve been searching for and I’ve finally found it. I found it in you. Desire. Happiness. Love. The last four weeks have been the best four weeks of my life.”
Love.
One little word that can change your life completely.
Granted, he didn’t say he loved me, he said he found love.
That’s totally different, right?
He has a valid point, though. The last four weeks have been amazing in more ways than I can count. I’ve discovered more about myself, found the strength to be who I want to be and the courage to face my past and my mistake. I owe a lot of that to Vinnie. To the unconditional support he’s shown me.
To the love he’s made me feel.
Damn it.
Standing and facing him, I really look at Vinnie. Not his muscles or the bulge in his pants. Not the grin on his face that makes my heart swoon. I look deeper. He’s strong and brazen. Insightful and charming. Smart as hell and funny.
Any woman would be lucky to have a man in her life that makes her feel the way Vinnie makes me feel every day. Supported. Confident. Loved.
There’s no denying it. No point in trying to hide it.
Without even realizing it, I’ve already shown him how I feel. Actions speak louder than words.
“Say it,” I state firmly, taking a step toward him.
Pushing off the frame of the door, he matches my step.
“Say what?” he teases.
Rumors: Megan & Vinnie Page 13
