“Are you visiting friends in America?” she asked discreetly, and he nodded. He had no intention of telling her that he and his sons were joining a circus, and had fled Germany to save their lives. “So am I,” she said, with a small sigh. “Germany is so dreary these days, with all those rallies and marches and speeches. My husband died six months ago, and I need a change. I’m going to Boston to visit my sister. She lives there with her husband. She seems to like it. They married last year, and they’re expecting their first baby, so I thought I’d go over to see her.” She said she lived near Munich, and had no children. And judging by the jewelry she was wearing, Nick sensed that her husband had left her a vast fortune. She mentioned once while they were dancing that her husband had been forty years older than she was, and she looked to Nick to be about thirty.
She was a lovely woman, and they danced several waltzes and foxtrots, and she was particularly impressive doing the tango. She and Nick looked very striking on the floor, and several people stopped to watch them, and afterward she and Nick laughed. It had been fun. It was obvious that Monique found him attractive. He found her equally so, but he was in no mood or position to start a shipboard romance with anyone. His life was a shambles, and he was enough of a gentleman not to inflict that on anyone, although she looked like she was willing. They sat and talked for a while afterward, and at two in the morning, he walked her to her cabin, while she told him how much she had enjoyed the evening.
“So did I,” he said, smiling at her. He hadn’t expected to enjoy the first night so much, but she had boosted his spirits. And he always liked to dance, and was good at it.
“I met your little boy today,” she said, when they stopped outside her door. “He’s adorable.”
“Yes, he is, thank you,” Nick agreed warmly. “I think he met everyone on the ship today, including all the sailors. He’s having fun.”
“So am I,” she said, looking wistfully at Nick. “I loved dancing with you tonight. I haven’t been dancing in months.”
“You’re a wonderful dancer,” he said sincerely. She wished he wanted more from her than that, but she could see he didn’t. There was something profoundly sad in his eyes, and she could sense this was not a happy trip for him. He was putting a good face on it, and he was every inch a gentleman, but there was something sad and remote about him, as though he had lost someone he dearly loved. In fact he had lost a country that day, and said goodbye to his father and best friend. She assumed he had lost a woman, but he had given up a great deal more. He had abandoned an entire life.
“Thank you for the compliment,” she said, flirting with him. “Perhaps we can do it again tomorrow. I think tomorrow is the casino night, and the day after that the masked ball.” There were special entertainments planned every night, and she had brought a different gown for each occasion. From what Nick had seen that night, her wardrobe and her figure were exquisite. For the right man, she would be a glorious catch, but not for him. Not anymore. He had the good manners and good sense, in his current circumstances, not to get involved. He felt as though that part of his life were over now too. He had nothing to offer anyone, surely not stability, or even a pleasant way of life. All of that was gone. He resisted the urge to be melancholy, but he was still reverberating from everything that had happened. And to some degree, he was still in shock, and she could see it.
“I’d be very happy to escort you to the casino,” Nick said pleasantly, although he had no intention of gambling with the little he had. His father had paid their first-class passage, and he needed the money they had brought with them, to take care of his sons. Overnight, he had become responsible, despite his carefree, self-indulgent ways of the past. Those days were over. He had grown up instantly. And a random night of shipboard gambling, give or take even a few hundred reichsmark, was no longer possible for him. For her, he could tell it would be small change. The difference in their circumstances now made even a casual flirtation with her seem dishonest. He was no longer of her world. He had become an outcast in his country, and what had previously been his life. Nothing of all that was visible to her. But he knew the difference, between what he had once been, only days ago, and what he was now. And in another week, he would be nothing more than a performer in the circus. It was horrifying to think about and still impossible to absorb.
“Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said with a seductive glance as she disappeared into her cabin, and Nick walked slowly back to his own, feeling pensive. He didn’t really want her, but if he had, she would have been untouchable for him now. Their lives were miles apart.
Before he went back to his stateroom, he checked on the boys. Both were sound asleep, and he gently covered Lucas with his blanket, as he clutched the teddy bear he had brought with him, that he had slept with all his life. And he was wearing pale blue pajamas. Toby was sleeping, too, with the peaceful face of the boy he still was. And then Nick went back to his own room, sat down quietly in a comfortable chair, and lit a cigar. He had much to think about these days. He poured himself a cognac from the decanter in his room, and sat in the dark, in the moonlight, watching the smoke from his cigar, and the brightly lit end, wondering what the future had in store.
Chapter 5
The casino night with Monique was as pleasant as the night before. They danced after the gambling, and it was a lively evening Nick enjoyed. He had always liked gambling, within reason, but he only played roulette twice that night, for modest amounts, and lost. Monique won five hundred reichsmark, and he didn’t play again. He was being cautious.
Both boys were enjoying the ship, the weather was fine, and the horses were doing well. And on the night of the masked ball, halfway through the trip and far from land, they hit a November storm. And the ship began pitching and rolling. With apologies to Monique—who didn’t suffer from seasickness it turned out—Nick went to see the horses, after he checked on his sons, who were fine in their cabin. The horses were frantic and wild eyed in the storm, and Nick stayed with them for several hours trying to calm them. There wasn’t much he could do, except be there and try to reassure them as best he could, patting and stroking them and speaking to them in a soothing tone. It didn’t make much difference, but he didn’t want to leave them alone, in case one of them got hurt. They were crucial now for him and the boys, and late into the night as the storm seemed to get rougher, if that was possible, the worst happened. Pluto looked at him and quietly lay down, a dreaded sign in horses. Nick was well aware of the consequences as soon as the beautiful stallion lay down, and there was nothing Nick could do to stop him. He was equally aware that if Pluto didn’t get up again on his own within hours or a day at most, he would be dead when they arrived in New York. And he couldn’t appear in Florida with only one Lipizzaner, and particularly without the stallion he had promised. Pluto was by far the more impressive of the two Lipizzaners, although Nina was lovely too. But she was outclassed by the stallion in breeding, looks, and size.
Nick stayed with him all night, and by morning things had not improved. The storm continued to get worse, and with a feeling of panic, he returned to his cabin to change and went to the dining room for breakfast. Neither of his boys was feeling well, and they decided to stay in their cabin. He didn’t tell them about Pluto. There would be time enough for that piece of bad news later, if the horse refused to get up. Nick was still hoping he would, perhaps when the storm was over.
He ran into Beauregard Thompson at breakfast in the dining room, and they were among the few passengers at the buffet that morning. Most people had stayed in their rooms, seasick from the storm, including the Kentuckian’s wife, who he said was very ill. But Thompson was a hardy soul, and Nick had always been a good sailor. Nick mentioned that he was having a problem with one of his horses and asked for Thompson’s advice.
“There’s nothing much you can do, except hope he gets back up on his legs again,” he said, sharing Nick’s concern. “That’s a death sentence for your stallion if he’s lying down. How many
hours has it been now?” Nick told him, and he nodded. “I had a mare do that to me last year. I thought she’d get back on her feet again and survive it, but she didn’t. It killed her after two days. We put her down, but she was nearly gone when we did. She would have died on her own within two more hours. If this damn storm would calm down, you’d have a chance, but with all this going on, I doubt you’ll get him up. He’s probably seasick,” which was contributing to the problem. “I’ll take a look at him after breakfast, if you like,” he promised.
Nick led him downstairs to the boxcar when they both left the dining room. The Arabians were still frightened, but holding up, and Nina looked desperately unhappy, but she was still standing. Pluto was in the same spot where Nick had left him, on the ground. He hadn’t budged an inch, and looked up at Nick with an expression of defeat and despair, and then laid his splendid head down on the floor of his stall, as Beauregard marveled at him.
“My God, what a spectacular creature,” the man said in amazement. “How big is he standing up?”
“Just over sixteen hands,” which was on the tall side for a Lipizzaner.
“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful,” he said in open admiration. “He’s incredible.” Pluto looked woebegone as he lay in his stall, but he was still strikingly handsome. “You’ve got to save him.”
“Yes, but how?” Nick said, frightened. He could feel Pluto slipping right between his fingers. And Nick would hate to tell Alex that the beautiful young stallion had died before they arrived.
“There isn’t a damn thing you can do except hope and pray he decides to survive this. He’s young enough to make it through it if he wants to.” All Nick could do was hope he wouldn’t die.
Beauregard Thompson stayed with him for a while, and then went back to his own cabin to check on his wife, and Nick stayed alone in the boxcar with the horses for the rest of the day. The room stewards had promised to watch over the boys. And he knew that Toby could entertain Lucas. The storm finally calmed a little, but Pluto didn’t move and barely made a sound even when Nick stroked him and talked to him. He seemed to be getting weaker.
By the end of the day, Nick was in despair. It was obvious that the stallion wasn’t going to make it, and it was only a matter of time before he died, maybe hours. And there was no way to feed him or even give him water while he lay there. Nick knew enough about horses to realize that he was watching the beautiful young stallion’s final hours. At one point, he even thought of being merciful, and using his pistol to put him down, but he didn’t have the heart to do it. He sat down next to him instead, and continued stroking his neck and crooning to him, and his eyes filled with tears. It was heartbreaking to watch the Lipizzaner slowly die.
And finally, he laid his own head down against Pluto’s massive shoulder, and knowing no one was there to hear him, Nick begged him to stay alive.
“I know this must sound stupid to you,” he said in a low voice to the horse, “and you deserve better than life in a circus, but I need you for my boys. Without you, they probably won’t want us in Florida, and if they don’t, I have no way to feed Toby and Lucas. If you don’t come to the circus with us, we’re really in a bad spot here. Pluto, if you’d just stay alive for me, I swear I’ll take care of you forever, and I’ll owe you my life. My boys are depending on you and so am I. Please don’t die … please … we need you so desperately.… I need you.… I’ll do everything for you I can. I promise.…” Tears slid down Nick’s cheeks as he spoke to him.
He suddenly noticed that the storm had calmed completely. The pitching and rolling had stopped. And as though he had noticed it, too, Pluto turned his head to look at Nick, lying alongside him, and he shook his head as though to nod. And then he gave a gigantic shudder, which Nick was terrified would be his last, and with enormous effort, and a loud whinnying, Pluto fought his way to a standing position on shaking legs. Nick watched, unable to believe his eyes. Pluto was up! He had made it, and with any luck at all, and some sustenance, he wouldn’t die! It was as though the stallion had made his own decision, and a supreme effort for his new owner.
Nick put his arms around the horse’s neck and sobbed. He had never been so grateful for anything in his life. The horse dying on their way to Florida would have been one blow too many in a series of brutal shocks that had turned their life upside down. And now it felt right-side up again. He offered the horse some water, which Pluto took gingerly with a grateful glance at Nick, and then he turned to look at the other horses, and Nina whinnied to him from her stall, as though to say welcome back. Nick stayed with him for another hour to make sure he didn’t lie down again, but the stallion was eating and already looked better when he left.
Nick went to find Beauregard Thompson immediately, and knocked on the door of his cabin when he didn’t see him on deck. He came to the door, was surprised to see Nick, and said he had been ministering to his wife.
“How is he?” he asked in a somber tone, referring to the stallion. And he was sure Nick had come to tell him he was dead. He hadn’t expected him to survive, he had already been lying down for too long.
“He’s up,” Nick said with a broad smile, and Thompson stared at him.
“I can’t believe it. When I saw him, he was nearly gone.” Nick nodded in agreement. “What did you do?”
“I talked to him. I pleaded with him to get up, and he did.” Nick looked ecstatic, and was enormously relieved.
“You’re a better man than I am. I couldn’t get my mare to get up last year, no matter what I did. I had the vet in to see her three times, and we still lost her. But I have to admit,” he said, laughing, “I never asked her to get up. Well, good for you.” He pounded Nick on the shoulder. “We’ll have a drink to celebrate after dinner.”
“Thank you. I just wanted you to know.” Nick was hoping to see Monique that night after dinner. He had been too busy with Pluto and worried about him, to see her at all ever since the horse had lain down. She had continued to show interest in him, and had sent a note to his cabin with a bottle of champagne saying that she missed him. She was trying hard. And at another time in his life, she would easily have succeeded in seducing him. But right now, there was just too much going on to pay serious attention to her.
When Nick went back to his stateroom, he was smiling broadly. Pluto had survived, and as much as it could be right now, their future was safe. Just as Nick had asked him to, Pluto had saved his life.
Chapter 6
For the last day of the trip, Nick kept a close eye on Pluto and the other horses, but they all seemed to be doing fine, and the stallion seemed stronger than ever once he was on his feet and eating and drinking again. He seemed to have formed a deeper bond with Nick after his illness, and whinnied with pleasure whenever Nick came to the boxcar. It was as though he knew how much he meant to him now, and what was expected of him. Nick felt as though they had made friends.
Nick spent his daytime hours with his sons, playing shuffleboard, swimming, shooting skeet with Toby, and walking around the deck together. And with Pluto back on his feet again, he spent the evenings with Monique. They danced until the wee hours, admired by everyone who watched them. They made a splendid couple, and were obviously having a good time. Their tangos were legendary on the ship, and they looked dashing whenever they were together. Monique had a sense of showmanship and was enjoying the attention they got, and being with a man as handsome as Nick. And finally, when he took her back to her cabin, since it was the last night, Nick kissed her. He’d had a little too much champagne, celebrating Pluto’s recovery, and he couldn’t resist Monique’s charms as they stood in the light of the November moon, bright and heavy in the sky. They would be reaching New York the next day.
“When are you going back to Germany?” she asked in a whisper, after he kissed her for the second time. She was anxious to see him again, and continue the pleasures of the trip.
“I’m not,” he said quietly, and she looked at him in surprise.
“I thought
you were only visiting, to show your horses somewhere.”
“I’m staying,” he said, not wanting to say why or tell her that he’d be showing his horses as a circus act. He was embarrassed about the life he was about to lead, among circus people, whom he could only imagine as freaks. And now he was one of them. He hadn’t adjusted to it yet, and wondered if he ever would.
“Is there some reason why you’re not going back?” she asked, looking startled and suspicious. She knew other people who had left the country in the past few years, afraid of what was happening in Germany, and fearing for their lives. But she could think of no reason why Nick would be one of them.
“Yes,” he said as he leaned against the rail in the moonlight. He didn’t want to lie to her, and would have preferred not to explain it, but he could see that she wanted an answer of some kind.
“Are you Jewish?” she asked him with a curious expression. She didn’t think it likely. He was obviously a nobleman of high rank, as his name, looks, and title suggested.
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