Pegasus: A Novel

by Danielle Steel

  “That’s liable to be long after I do.” She was twenty-two years younger than he was, but it didn’t bother either of them. Everything about their union felt right.

  And when they got back to Sarasota, everyone congratulated them again, and they were the heroes of the hour. They got standing ovations at every show. No one was tired of their fairy-tale marriage yet, and when they appeared on the Lipizzaners together, the crowd cheered. And Nick went to talk to Sandor the day after they got back from Palm Beach.

  “I came to collect on my wedding present,” he reminded his father-in-law.

  “What present is that?” Sandor teased him. “You got my daughter. Isn’t that enough?”

  “No, I told you that the only wedding present I want from you is a net for her act. I said it two years ago, and you agreed. She performs with a net from now on,” Nick said firmly, and Sandor could see that he meant it, and looked worried.

  “The audience won’t like it,” he warned him.

  “They’ll get used to it. I told you I’d marry her. And I kept my word. You gave me yours, Sandor. We shook hands on it. The net, or she gives up the high wire, today.” Sandor looked at him long and hard and nodded. Nick drove a hard bargain, but he was a man of his word. “Tonight,” he reminded Sandor, who nearly groaned.

  And that night, when she went on, Nick followed her to the ropes. And he saw it. There were eight handlers holding it for her. And she saw it, too, and turned to him in surprise.

  “Does my father know?”

  “It’s his wedding present to us.” Nick smiled broadly and kissed her. “Now go do your act.” He was going to enjoy it for the first time in three years. And when the crowd spotted it, they cheered. They approved. Nick gave Sandor a thumbs-up, and he waved back. She was never going to wind up in a wheelchair now, or fall to her death. Christianna had a net at last, thanks to Nick.

  Two weeks after their wedding, they were still the talk of the circus, and Christianna was quietly sewing some of her costumes in their trailer, listening to the radio, when Nick walked in from feeding the horses. He leaned over to kiss her, happy to see her, and enjoying their newly married life, when the program she’d been listening to was interrupted and the announcer said that the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor in Hawaii. They both stopped talking and were mesmerized by what he was saying.

  “What does he mean?” Christianna looked at Nick, thinking she hadn’t understood.

  “You heard him. American naval ships were bombed and sunk by the Japanese in Pearl Harbor.” It was something no one in America had ever thought could happen. They’d been attacked on their own territory. America had finally been forced into the war.

  Within minutes, people had come out of their trailers and were telling others. There was a huge hubbub everywhere. Some people were panicking, afraid that they’d be bombed in Florida too. The whole circus was ablaze with the news within an hour. People were glued to their radios. And John Ringling North announced that one of their special Christmas performances was canceled for that night. Everyone stayed home to listen to the news, and Toby and Lucas were with them in the trailer, listening to the radio.

  The next day, the United States and Britain declared war on Japan. And three days after that, Hitler declared war on the United States. America was at war. Two thousand four hundred and three men and women had died at Pearl Harbor, and 1,178 were injured. The big top was still dark, and Nick wondered if life would ever be normal again. He was talking to his brothers-in-law about it that afternoon, when Toby came home with a sheepish look. Nick wondered what he’d been up to. And Toby told him half an hour later when they were alone.

  “I enlisted, Papa,” he said, looking half proud and half scared of his father’s reaction.

  “You did what?” Nick looked at him, horrified. “You can’t do that!”

  “Yes, I can. I’m eighteen. And they’d draft me anyway.”

  “You’re not even American,” Nick reminded him. He didn’t want his son going to war, for anyone.

  “They took me,” he said quietly with a determined look. “Germany took away our citizenship anyway. I leave for boot camp in two weeks.”

  “That’s insane!” Nick said, and stormed out of the trailer, near tears. He didn’t want his son risking his life for any country, neither his old one nor his new one. But Toby was right. He would have been drafted. When Nick told Christianna about it, she could see how upset Nick was.

  “Maybe he’s right, and they would have drafted him,” she said quietly.

  “He’s German,” Nick reminded her. But that rapidly became an issue too.

  Two days later U.S. Immigration authorities came to the fairground to question all German nationals who were employed by the circus. Many were roustabouts, and several important acts were German performers. All of the horse acts, two of the big cat acts, Nick, many clowns, several gymnasts, and their star contortionist. And one by one they were questioned, as to their loyalty. Those who were Jewish were immediately exempt and allowed to ask for asylum. The others were given the opportunity to go home if they wanted to, and some had more complicated status, Nick among them. He had been deemed Jewish by the Germans, so he and his children qualified for asylum, but he was also married to an American now. Christianna was a citizen. So he had the choice of requesting asylum, or asking for citizenship through his wife.

  “What’s it going to be, Mr. Bing?” the immigration officer asked him, holding a clipboard. He had handed him back his passport and the boys’.

  Nick hesitated for only a second. “I’d like to become an American,” he said quietly. It was his final act of renouncing Germany forever. The officer made a note on his clipboard.

  “We’ll be in touch with you in the next few weeks,” he reassured him. “What about the name? I see your passport is issued in a different name from the one you use in the circus. Which do you want it to be on your citizenship papers?”

  “Nicolas Bing,” he said clearly. He had lost the “von” and his title, but he had a name he could live with, one that would never link him to Germany again.

  “Got it,” the officer said, and moved on to the next one, as Nick looked at Christianna.

  “Do you mind?” he asked Christianna, and she shook her head.

  “You can be whatever you want to be,” she answered, but she thought he had made the right decision.

  In the next few days, they learned that several of the performers, mostly the non-Jewish Germans, were going back to Europe. They had decided not to stay. They didn’t want to be under suspicion for being spies.

  And all Nick could think about in the ensuing days was Toby leaving for the army and going to boot camp.

  The best thing in his life had happened only days before, when he married Christianna. And now the worst was about to happen. His son was going to war.

  Chapter 21

  Toby left for boot camp at Fort Mason in San Francisco right before Christmas and there were tearful goodbyes with Katja, as well as his father, stepmother, and brother. Christianna was as upset as Nick and Lucas, and dozens of people came by for days before, to wish him well. And Toby and Katja were inseparable for the days before he left. They spent as much time as they could together, kissing and holding hands, but everyone else wanted time with him too. Many of the other young men were leaving, but Nick and his family were much loved, and Toby was a sweet boy. Pierre came to pantomime his goodbyes, and actually managed to make Nick laugh, which was rare now. He had been stone-faced and red-eyed since Toby enlisted after Pearl Harbor. He wasn’t afraid to show how much he would miss his son. And he sobbed openly the morning Toby left. Katja was equally inconsolable, and Lucas and Christianna clung to each other and Nick after their goodbyes. And Gallina stood by in tears to comfort her daughter.

  Toby would be home again for a visit in February, before they left on tour in late March or early April. And then the army would ship him somewhere, no one knew where just yet.

  It made Christmas fo
r Nick and his family a bleak affair. Nick didn’t have the heart to buy or decorate a tree, so Christianna did it for him, and she and Lucas strung up lights outside the trailer, but Nick was serious all the time now, and terrified to lose his boy.

  Those who had decided to leave the circus were already gone by then, or packing up. Their decisions had been quick, and made Nick’s horse act even more important, since the others were departing. The only time Nick smiled now was when he performed, and nothing Christianna did could cheer him. She worried about him constantly, and talked to Gallina about it.

  “He’s had a lot of losses in his life,” Gallina explained gently. “He’s afraid. Be patient. He’ll cheer up.” Christianna did everything she could to lighten the mood, but Christmas was awful, and New Year’s was no better. Nick stayed home when she went to have their traditional New Year’s Day dinner at the Polish restaurant with her family, but her father and brothers said they understood. Christianna and Lucas went anyway and joined the others. Nick just wasn’t in the mood, he was still too upset about Toby.

  And in January, Nick had a letter from Alex, in a more complicated way this time, through a friend in Geneva, who forwarded the letter to Nick, since America had entered the war. Alex said nothing about conditions in Germany, or his life, due to the censors, but he told Nick that Marianne and her husband were expecting a baby in the late spring. It was Alex’s first grandchild and he was excited about it. He said he missed her terribly and couldn’t wait to see her and the new baby and meet her husband one day. And when Nick put down the letter, he looked at Christianna with a rueful smile and a groan.

  “Now I feel ancient,” he told her. “My friend Alex is having his first grandchild. He’s four years older than I am, but I could have one too.” Nick was forty-six now, and Alex had just turned fifty, which seemed astonishing too. It seemed only yesterday when they were boys, and had lives they thought that nothing could touch or would ever change. And now everything was gone. Nick worked in a circus, and Alex was alone and hadn’t seen his daughter in more than a year, and Toby was going to war.

  Nick and Christianna hadn’t talked again about having a baby. With Pearl Harbor happening only days after their wedding, Toby enlisting was all he could think about—the babies he had, not the ones they didn’t.

  And when Toby came home after boot camp in San Francisco, it was agonizingly bittersweet. Each second was precious, and Nick never let him out of his sight for a minute. He wanted to be with him every moment he could. Toby did a final performance with his father, in his corporal’s uniform, at the ringmaster’s request. And when he and his father rode the Lipizzaners through their final steps, the crowd stood up and cheered them. They were cheering for Toby as tears rolled down Nick’s cheeks. The ringmaster had explained over the microphone that Toby was shipping out.

  And there were countless others like him, at the circus, and in all walks of life. Every young boy in America was wearing a uniform and looked like a man overnight. Even Lucas seemed suddenly older and more mature. And Toby had come back from boot camp looking solid and strong and healthy. He was home for five days, which went too quickly, and the night before he left, he announced that he and Katja had gotten engaged. And she and her family were as tearful as Nick about his leaving. And on the eve of Toby’s departure, after walking Katja back to her trailer, the two brothers lay in bed in their familiar bedroom, and Lucas hugged him and told him how much he would miss him. Toby had tears in his eyes as he embraced his younger brother, and Lucas was crying.

  All of Christianna’s family came to see him off in the morning. Sandor referred to him as his grandson, and told him how proud of him he was, and what a great American he would be. And Katja and her family came to see him off at the train to California, and no one could stop crying.

  In the days after Toby left for Fort Mason, Nick tried to keep busy with the horses, and practicing new routines for his new act without Toby. But Christianna and Nick were the main focus, even more so now. Nick had written to Alex to tell him that Toby had enlisted, but he knew it would be a long time before Alex got the letter, and longer still before Nick heard from him, from Switzerland. But it was shocking to realize now that Nick’s little boy was in the army, and Alex’s little girl was about to have a baby of her own. Time had flown.

  And in April, Toby was able to get a message to Nick from Fort Mason that he was shipping out. He wasn’t allowed to say where, but he said it was in the Pacific. He knew two other Germans in his company, and none were being sent to Europe. But at least he was being allowed to fight for his adopted country. Nick wished he weren’t going. And at the same time Japanese Americans were being sent to internment camps in the West. The government wanted to be sure that there were no divided loyalties among any of them. But Nick knew nothing more about where Toby was being sent. Toby promised to write to them as often as he could. Nick slipped the letter into a little box, along with the others Toby had written from boot camp. He had saved them all.

  They had another letter from him in May, from Hawaii, while they were on tour, and he sounded happy and excited, although he could say little about what he was doing or where he was going. Between the restrictions on him and the censors who read Alex’s letters, Nick felt like he was in the dark about both of them, but at least he had letters from time to time. He wondered if Marianne had had her baby yet, but he didn’t know that either. And he hadn’t heard from her since Toby left for boot camp. She usually wrote to him and not his father, and Toby gave him her news.

  Marianne’s baby was due in the first days of June. She’d had an easy pregnancy, although the days seemed long to her without Edmund. Isabel had her help in the garden, to keep her busy and walking and moving, and she thoroughly enjoyed having her daughter-in-law with her, and watching Marianne blossom like a lovely flower. And Isabel was over the moon about the baby. As was Edmund. He came home as often as he could, which wasn’t often. And each time, he rubbed his hands gently on his wife’s belly, amazed and thrilled by how much it had grown. He loved feeling the baby kick, and looked excited each time, as though it were the first time he’d felt it. It wasn’t likely he could, but he had said he would try to get leave around the time the baby was due, in the first week of June, and his mother warned him that first babies were almost always late. She told him that he had been three weeks late, and she’d almost changed her mind by then if he was going to be so rude and tardy. But she had forgiven him the moment she saw him.

  Edmund had also said that if she went into labor when he was on the base, he would try to trade watch with someone, or even a scheduled mission if they’d let him, and drive home as fast as he could, although he was based in East Anglia, which was several hours away. But he said he would do his best, and she knew he would. She had decided to have the baby at home in Haversham, since hospitals were so busy with injured men now, and she felt guilty taking up bed space and the nurses’ attention for something so normal. She was having the local doctor and her mother-in-law at the birth, and with any luck at all, Edmund would be on leave, or come soon after, to see their baby. She wanted a son for him, which was what was expected of them, but Edmund had secretly admitted to her, since the beginning, that he wanted a girl, one who looked just like her. They wanted many children, at least five or six, and they were both delighted with the seemingly easy arrival of their first.

  By sheer miracle, Edmund managed to get five days’ leave at the end of May, into the first days of June, which was precisely when she was expecting their baby, and she hoped it would arrive on time before he left. Isabel promised to run her around the garden, and they’d had a spell of hot weather, which Isabel felt sure would bring it on, if gardening and long walks didn’t. But Marianne wanted to sit very still before he arrived, so she didn’t have it early either. She was enormous, and Isabel kept saying it must be twins, although the doctor hadn’t heard a second heartbeat. But Isabel found it hard to believe that one baby could be that size. Marianne’s face and limbs
had stayed thin, but her belly was huge, and Edmund made fun of her now whenever he saw her. He said she looked like she’d stolen some poor child’s beach ball and was hiding it under her dress. And she was uncomfortable in the heat and felt like she could barely move. She could hardly get her stockings on, and had given up wearing them in the heat. There was no one at Haversham to see her, and her mother-in-law told her not to bother. They didn’t care. And lots of girls didn’t wear them now, since they were so hard to get.

  The night before Edmund was due home, he called Marianne from the base. He had just been assigned to an important mission, and they wouldn’t allow him to trade it, or start his leave for two more days. He said it would be over quickly, and to keep her legs crossed until he got there. She promised to do so, and he had to get off the phone quickly, as dozens of other airmen, if not hundreds, had to call about canceled leaves. All she had time to do was tell him she loved him and come home soon, and he said he loved her, too, in haste, and hung up. And she went to tell Isabel the disappointing news that he’d been delayed for a mission, but Marianne was surprisingly calm about it, and said she was sure she wouldn’t have the baby for a few more days.

  And the following night they heard them. Hundreds of planes flying over Britain toward Germany. She, Isabel, and Charles saw them, and they didn’t know how many there were, but the night sky was full of them, flying relentlessly toward their target, and she knew instantly that Edmund was with them. She stood smiling at the sky, and whispered that she loved him. They didn’t know until later that there were a thousand bombers and they were heading for Cologne.

  “No wonder he couldn’t come home,” Isabel said as they went back into the house. They had heard the massive formation coming, and had gone outside to look. “There must be hundreds of planes there, even a thousand.” Charles thought that an exaggeration, but as it turned out, it wasn’t. There were planes in the sky for as far as the eye could see, and you could still hear them after they had vanished from sight. It was the same droning sound that filled them with dread at night, when the Germans flew in to bomb their cities. It was familiar to all now. Marianne could only guess that the German civilian population were as distressed as they were. Their cities were in ruins, and England had taken heavy hits—there was rubble everywhere in the streets of London, although Marianne hadn’t been there to see it, since she arrived. Isabel wouldn’t let her, nor Edmund once they were married. Marianne was enjoying country life, where they were safer than in London.