All This Love

by Belle Calhoune

  Shayla began to cry in earnest. It was breaking Heath’s heart. He hated to see his baby sister in tears. “You’ve been through so much, Heath. I just don’t want you to get hurt again. I hated seeing you so down in the dumps. And I never want to see you so lost again.”

  Heath reached out and wrapped Shayla up in his arms. He pressed a kiss against her temple. Shayla didn’t have a mean bone in her body. She was simply being protective of him, which was a huge Donahue trait. They always had each other’s backs. She was lashing out at Bella because she was worried about him.

  He patted her gently on the back then pulled away. Heath reached down and wiped away tears from her face. “You don’t need to fight my battles, little sister. I’m stronger now and more grounded. I still have work to do, but I’m a better man than I was five months ago. And I’m really excited about being a father.”

  “You’re not a better man, Heath, because you were already the best.” She grinned at him. “I am happy for you. And I can’t wait to be an auntie again. I’m sorry for what I said. You know I love Bella.”

  “Thanks. I’m happy to hear that,” he said. A feeling of relief swept through him. All he wanted was calm and clarity and to know that his family supported him. When they were kids their parents had always lectured them about a house divided. It had always been stressed to them that they were at their best when they were a united front. United we stand, divided we fall. Although with eight kids it hadn’t been possible to not fuss and fight, they had always known the importance of not allowing those arguments to fester.

  “Let’s make a toast to the future,” Daniel said, holding up his can of diet soda. “May Heath’s child be born healthy and happy.”

  “And please Lord, let the baby look like Bella,” Jason shouted, raising his glass high.

  Laughter rang out amongst the group. Heath threw back his head and laughed right along with his siblings. Everyone raised their cups to the blessing being offered for Heath and Bella’s child. Suddenly, all was right with his world.

  As the night came to a close, Micah drew Heath aside.

  “I just wanted to let you know I think you’ll be a tremendous father. You’re one of the bravest and most honorable people I know. In case I haven’t said it, we’re all really proud of what you did over in Afghanistan. You’re a hero in our eyes.”

  Hero? How many times had he been labeled as a hero? He still didn’t feel like one, especially since Vinny hadn’t made it out of the operation alive. He felt guilty being touted as heroic when so many men and women had died over there. So many families were in mourning because of those losses. It was hard to even view himself in that light. He’d only done what he had been trained to do. And he had survived. Did that make him a hero?

  “I appreciate it, Micah, but to be honest, it’s hard to view myself that way,” he admitted. “I keep thinking of Vinny and how his life ended so tragically. He was with us one moment and gone the next. He’s the real hero.”

  “Have you been able to get any closure about it?”

  “Yes, I have, although I’ve been thinking a lot about going to see Vinny’s family.”

  Micah’s eyes widened. “That would be amazing. Difficult, but meaningful for all of you.”

  “It would be,” Heath said. “At the moment though my first priority is Bella and our child.”

  “You’re going to try to win her back, aren’t you?” Micah asked.

  Heath grinned at his brother. “You know me well, don’t you?”

  Micah raised his fist and waited for Heath to raise his own. They bumped fists and smiled at each other. “Donahue strong!” they both called out.

  As the sky lit up with a dazzling array of twinkling stars, Heath found himself filled with a sense of wonder. Life was truly beautiful. This was the first time in a very long time he’d felt this way. For so long now he had felt weighted down by sadness. He had felt powerless to change things. But now, he felt hope shimmering like a beacon in the distance.

  “Every day brings the promise of something wonderful.”

  Addie Donahue

  Chapter Four

  Bella wrapped her robe around herself and tightened the belt around her gently rounded stomach. Each and every day she marveled at the changes in her body. She loved feeling the baby move around in her belly. The first time it had happened had been a wondrous occasion. At first Bella had been oblivious to the significance of the sensation in her abdomen. Then it had dawned on her. Her baby was moving around inside her. The slight fluttering motion had been awe-inspiring.

  These days she worked at Fish Tails, her father’s shop. The issues with her pregnancy made it the perfect job since it was a family owned store and her father allowed her to basically made her own hours. The business was in bad shape, with sales in a serious rut. Bella feared if things didn’t improve soon, her father would have to make a decision about the long-term viability of the business. It would break all of their hearts if Fish Tails went out of business.

  Since the shop didn’t open until ten am, most mornings were leisurely affairs for Bella. This morning she had a doctor’s appointment so she wasn’t going in to Fish Tails till later on this afternoon.

  She made her way downstairs to the kitchen, pulling out orange juice and fresh fruit from the refrigerator. The sound of her front door bell ringing forced her to head back down the hall towards the foyer. Bella didn’t have to guess who was at her front door. Last night she had been on a three-way call with two of her sisters. She had made the mistake of telling them that she had seen Heath and he knew all about the baby. They had told her they planned to come over first thing in the morning to grill her about Heath. Knowing her sisters, she had been a bit surprised that they hadn’t crashed through her door that evening.

  Without even peeking through the curtain first, Bella yanked open the door. Much as she had expected, Sophia, Abby and Gina were standing on her doorstep. She held the door wide open and watched them file into her house. Everyone headed toward the kitchen. Her sisters made themselves comfortable, sitting down at her kitchen table and foraging around in the fridge. Abby turned the kettle on and began to rummage in her cupboards.

  “Make yourselves at home,” Bella said dryly. She pulled out a box of oatmeal, cinnamon and some milk. She dug around in the top kitchen drawer for a small spoon.

  “Don’t mind if we do,” Sophia said in a teasing tone. “Do you have any cereal?”

  “Over there in the canisters,” Bella said, motioning in their direction.

  “Mmm. I’ll have some of this fresh fruit,” Abby said, taking a spoon and serving herself.

  “Stop leaving us in suspense. What did Heath say? How did you tell him?” Gina, the eldest Vincente sister, propped her elbows on the kitchen table and peered at Bella.

  “Can you let me get my oatmeal going first?” Bella asked, stirring the oatmeal with hot water and a dash of milk and cinnamon.

  Abby looked at her watch and let out a sigh. “I’m going to be late for work if you don’t get on with it.” She took a spoonful of blackberries and added them to the strawberries and blueberries in her bowl.

  Bella rolled her eyes and sat down. “You guys are the most impatient people I’ve ever known.” Bella took a spoonful of oatmeal, blew on it and then put it in her mouth. Her hunger these days was a bit over the top. When she woke up in the morning she felt like a ravenous grizzly bear. Her sisters could wait until she had a little oatmeal resting in her stomach.

  Sophia rubbed her hands together. “Dish the dirt, Bella.”

  Bella shook her head. “He showed up here the other night. It was his birthday actually.”

  “So he didn’t know anything until he showed up here?” Gina asked.

  “No, he didn’t,” Bella answered. “Once I opened up the door and invited him in, he saw my stomach and realized immediately I was pregnant. I would say he was more shocked than anything.”

  “So if he didn’t know anything about the baby, why did he come o
ver?” Abby asked, her brow creased with confusion.

  Bella ducked her head and focused on stirring her oatmeal. “From what I can gather, he was going to make a plea for us to get back together.”

  Gasps rang out at the table. Bella swung her gaze around the table. She could see the surprise etched on their faces.

  “After all this time?” Sophia asked. “Wow.”

  Gina let out an indelicate snort. “Humph. Kind of nervy especially after he dumped you like a hot potato.”

  Bella bristled. “I wouldn’t exactly describe it like that. He was trying to spare me from having to deal with his PTSD.”

  Her sisters exchanged loaded glances.

  “What? Why are you guys looking at each other like that?” Bella asked, trying to keep a lid on her irritation. As the youngest, her three sisters always treated her as if she didn’t know as much as they did and it irritated her to no end.

  “It’s just that…you always defend him,” Abby said in a soft voice.

  “I don’t!” Bella said. “But I need you to understand he’s not a bad person.”

  Sophia let out a sigh. “We don’t think he’s bad, Bella, but we’re protective of you. You’re our sister and he hurt you. We’ve hated seeing you so broken up about it. You’ve had to go through the last five months of upheaval and illness without him standing by your side.”

  “How is that his fault? He didn’t know I was expecting or that I was so sick,” Bella said in a raised voice.

  “So are you back together?” Gina asked. “It’s obvious you’re still in love with him.”

  “We are not back together,” Bella said. “Heath has made a lot of strides in the last five months. He’s dealing with his PTSD, which is wonderful, but there are still major hurdles between us. With all that being said, Heath plans to be a part of this child’s life. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Every child deserves to have two parents in their lives, even if they aren’t together. I want to make sure that this baby has a great support system from the get-go.”

  “You’re right,” Abby conceded. “You need to do what is in the best interest of your child.”

  “So…are you?” Sophia pressed.

  “Am I what?” Bella asked.

  Sophia locked eyes with Bella. “Still in love with Heath?”

  Once again, all eyes were trained on Bella. She squirmed in her seat, then let out a little sigh. What was the point in hiding her feelings from her sisters? They were all so close she was certain they could see it written all over her face.

  “I never stopped loving him,” she admitted. “I doubt I ever will.”

  “Then why aren’t you back together?” Sophia asked. “Now that you’re….umm pregnant, it makes total sense.”

  Bella shrugged. “Heath asked me to marry him.” Although there was nothing funny about her current situation, Bella wanted to laugh at the expressions etched on her sisters’ faces. Their eyes threatened to bulge out of their heads.

  “H-he what?” Gina sputtered. Normally cool and collected, Gina had clearly come undone by the news.

  Bella twiddled her fingers. She kept flashing back to the moment when Heath had asked her to marry him. Hmm. It hadn’t really been a request, had it? More like an announcement.

  “He thinks we should get married for the sake of the baby,” Bella said, her heart constricting as hurt washed over her.

  “You have to admit that’s pretty romantic,” Abby said with a sigh, earning herself a glare from Gina.

  “Romantic? I don’t think so. Honorable, yes. I don’t want to get married for any reason other than abiding love,” Bella announced. “That might sound selfish, but I don’t think I would be doing my child any favors by simply agreeing to a proposal that was based on my being pregnant.” She shook her head. “I know this is going to sound ridiculous under the circumstances, but I still want the fairy tale. I want to be swept off my feet and made to feel as if I’m his earth, moon, sun and stars.”

  “And he didn’t make you feel that way?” Gina asked, reaching out and squeezing Bella’s hand.

  “No,” she admitted, tears stinging her eyes. “He was very passionate about it, but it was clear what he was being motivated by. The child I’m carrying.” She ran a hand through her long tresses. “It’s all such a mess. He told me he still loves me, but there’s still so much standing between us. He hasn’t fully dealt with his past and he’s never told me important things that make him the man he is today. And I think those issues are holding him back. It’s not just Vinny’s death he’s struggling with. There’s so much more under the surface.”

  “It’s understandable that you want him to handle those issues before committing yourself to him in any way,” Sophia said with a nod. “It must be hard though. I’m so sorry.” She got up from her chair and came over to Bella’s side of the table. Sophia wrapped Bella up in a huge embrace. It wasn’t long before Abby and Gina had joined in.

  When the hugging session ended, all four sisters were wiping tears away from their faces. Having lost their mother at a young age, the girls had formed bonds that were unbreakable. Tragedy had bonded them like the links in a chain fence. When one sister hurt, the others ached right along with her. This time was no different.

  “I keep thinking of Mom,” Bella said, her voice trembling with emotion. “I wish she was here right now to give me advice and to let me cry on her shoulder.”

  “You can always cry on our shoulders,” Abby said in a firm tone. “And it sounds like Heath is going to be a good support system.”

  “He is,” Bella said, sliding back into her chair. “I have a prenatal appointment this morning.” She sipped her orange juice and smiled at her sisters over the rim of the glass. “It’s an ultrasound appointment. I might find out the gender of the baby today, which is really exciting.”

  “That’s great,” Abby said, tossing her long hair over her shoulder. “I can come with you if you like.”

  “I appreciate the offer, but Heath is coming with me,” Bella said, suddenly feeling shy about her plans. Everything these days made her feel protective and emotional. It was one of the many glorious side effects of pregnancy. Her emotions were being exposed for all to see.

  A chorus of squeals met her announcement. It was nice to see her sisters supportive of Heath’s presence in her life. She held up her hands. “I just want to make it clear that we are acting in the best interest of this precious little bundle.” She pressed her hands on her belly. “It’s what matters most.”

  Abby smiled. “That’s great. Does this mean the two of you are—”

  “No!” Bella said in an emphatic voice, cutting off Abby. “We’re not getting back together. We’re being cordial and hopefully we’ll be co-parenting successfully. I want to be in a no-stress zone for the rest of my pregnancy.”

  “Amen,” Sophia said. “Let’s say a prayer,” she suggested, holding out her hands so that her sisters could all join hands. After they were all joined by their hands, Sophia began to speak. “Dear Lord, please watch over Bella and the child she’s carrying. Grant her peace and allow her to pass these last few months of her pregnancy in serenity and bliss. May she deliver a healthy baby into the world.” Sophia paused for a moment, then added. “And please watch over Heath. May he continue to get stronger with each and every day.”

  A chorus of Amens were offered up.

  Bella squeezed Sophia’s hand. She felt grateful for her sister including Heath in her prayers. Even though they weren’t together, his well-being meant the world to her. That’s what it was to truly love someone. You wanted the best for that person. Always and forever.

  *

  Heath arrived half an hour later at the doctor’s office. Butterflies had been flying around in his stomach all morning. When Bella had called the other day to invite him to her ultrasound appointment, Heath had been surprised and overjoyed by the offer. He hadn’t been able to sleep last night. He’d tossed and turned in anticipation of today’s appointment. It was jus
t beginning to sink in that in three and half months he would be a father. With every second that passed, Heath felt more and more excited about the blessed event. But mixed with the joy was trepidation. Would he be a good father? Would he be able to navigate his child through the storms of life without wavering? Would he and Bella be able to find their way back to one another? A hundred different questions were rattling around inside his brain.

  Five minutes before the appointment time, Bella bustled through the office doors. She was wearing a matching red velour track suit and she looked girl next door beautiful. She wasn’t wearing a stitch of makeup and her blonde hair had been swept up in a high ponytail.

  “Heath. You beat me here,” Bella said, her voice full of surprise. She sounded a bit breathless as if she had been rushing. Her cheeks were slightly reddened but she looked well rested. Perhaps telling him about the baby had lifted a weight off her shoulders. She resembled a rose in full bloom.

  “Yeah, I didn’t want to be late so I got here extra early.”

  The smile Bella gifted him with was dazzling. “I appreciate it,” Bella said. “I don’t know why, but I feel nervous. Every appointment makes me feel jittery. It’s like I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve for all the world to see.”

  “Don’t be nervous,” Heath said. “From what I’ve heard, seeing your baby for the first time on ultrasound is an amazing experience.”

  Bella bit her lip. “I suppose I’m just nervous. What if…they see something wrong or if the baby isn’t moving? I’ve heard of that happening.”

  “You can’t think like that, Bella. Think positive thoughts. Pray often. Bringing a child into the world is the biggest leap of faith of all.”

  “You’re right about that. Just think about it. The baby goes from being this little lima bean into a seven or eight pounder. Sometimes even larger.”

  “It’s a miracle, plain and simple. But even so, growing a child inside you must be terrifying at times. I get it. And to tell you the truth, I think God chose perfectly when he decided that women would be the ones who brought new life into the world.” He let out a chuckle and shook his head. “We men can’t hold a candle to what you women do. It must be kind of empowering knowing God wanted you to carry this child.”