Hesitant Heart

by Morticia Knight

  As Aaron licked and nibbled between Sam’s legs, Sam opened them, lifting his knees up and back. He’d become attuned to what Aaron wanted to do with him and he’d lost his shyness when it came to indicating what he wanted. The only time any attention had been paid to his hole was when Aaron would lave it or lightly brush a finger across and tease it. He’d never tried to penetrate him, even when Sam had pushed against his touches, encouraging him.

  Aaron feasted on his ass, and that urge came over him the way it always did when Aaron played in his crease. It had been very smart for Aaron to do such a thing with Sam first before trying to get inside him—it had made Sam beg for it instead of fear it. That was part of the reason Sam trusted him so much—he knew that Aaron was very wise and only wished to make Sam feel good.

  The agony of waiting to be breached by Aaron was frustrating. His lover’s enthusiasm was wonderful, the fervent swipes over his entrance intoxicating, but, oh he needed so much more. A new sensation startled him. Aaron’s tongue had become a hardened tip and he used it to prod at Sam’s hole. Aaron clutched Sam’s hips in a strong hold, manipulating him so that his pelvis remained tilted up. Even though the act was strange to him, Sam relaxed into it. It was time for Aaron to take him that way and he was certain that Aaron knew what to do.

  Aaron pushed his tongue past Sam’s resistant ring of muscle and he was stretched a fraction. It was odd, but so wonderfully decadent at the same time. The tiny bit of burn he felt fell to the back of his mind as he gave himself over to the exquisite feel of Aaron’s small appendage wiggling inside him. He moaned, tried to thrust to get more of the soft, wet friction, but Aaron held him down. He was immobile, forced to take the pleasure that Aaron gifted him with.

  When Aaron removed his tongue, he whimpered at its loss. All of his attention was still fixed on that tiny spot between his cheeks. He ached there, needed. That barely noticeable burn was just enough to remind him that there would be more. Much more.

  “Stay how you are, little Sam. Hold yourself open if your legs are tired.”

  Usually Sam would’ve answered him, but he couldn’t think. He only wanted to experience each moment with Aaron, focus only on what his lover did to him. Tracking Aaron’s movements by the bed, he saw a small, tube-shaped bottle he’d never noticed before. There was a metal cap that could be twisted open. He’d seen a top like that on a particular type of cream soda Aaron liked to buy. Sam had a feeling that whatever was in the bottle had nothing to do with cream soda.

  Sam watched in fascination as Aaron poured some of the clear, thick liquid onto his fingers.

  “This is to make it easier for you.”

  The loving smile and soothing tone of Aaron’s voice kept Sam in a state of calm. Aaron rubbed his fingers together then lay next to Sam on the bed. After reaching between Sam’s cheeks he pressed one digit against his hole. As soon as the slick gel was on his skin, he understood why Aaron was using it.

  “Oh, that makes sense.”

  Aaron’s smile grew and he leaned down for a kiss. The moment that Sam’s lips met Aaron’s, he was breached. Sam moaned, clenching his hole then arching his back. The burn was more apparent, the intrusion more obvious. Aaron thrust the finger gently in short motions until Sam relaxed his opening. It wasn’t a bad feeling, just different.

  Then Aaron pushed in farther, his movements more aggressive. He cried out, breaking their kiss when Aaron’s digit glanced over something inside him.

  That’s it! That’s the spot.

  “Oh, again. Do that again.”

  Aaron pressed his lips to Sam’s temple as he complied with Sam’s request. It was magical, electric. Sam took over the thrusting, impaling himself on Aaron’s finger, anxious for more. Aaron removed his digit and Sam was about to protest, when another was quickly added. His rim was stretched more, the burn increasing. He didn’t care. He wanted Aaron to go back and touch that area inside him that was so amazing.

  Aaron granted Sam’s wish again as he pushed in and rubbed across that spot repeatedly. His breathing stuttered, sweat building on his brow. It was so much, so very much and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop from coming.

  “Oh, Sir, please…”

  He keened then gasped in another breath as the pressure increased from Aaron’s ministrations.

  “I’ll come, oh no, I want you in me when that happens!”

  “Shh, little Sam, you will. But I want you to come now too.”

  Aaron encircled Sam’s hard length with his other hand then brushed his thumb under the tip. A strangled cry fell from his lips as he shot hard, his cum splashing across his own stomach and chest. He jerked and shuddered through his climax, Aaron slowing his movements in Sam’s passage, not pressing as deep.

  Sam’s mind was empty of any coherent thought. He was a like a jellyfish, no form or structure to his body, just a limp pile of goo. He giggled at the image.

  “That’s a lovely sound. You’re still doing well then?”

  Sighing, Sam tried to conjure the right words for how he was doing so that he could let Aaron know that he loved everything, that he didn’t want him to stop.

  “So much more than well. More…” He couldn’t think straight. “Just more.”

  “Yes, little Sam.”

  With his eyes closed, he wouldn’t be able to watch Aaron’s next move, but he didn’t care. He only wanted to absorb it all, let Aaron have his way because his lover took care of him so well. There seemed to be more of the slick substance added to his opening as the tips of Aaron’s fingers pressed against it again. This time when Aaron pushed his way in, Sam had been ready and unafraid.

  The thrusts returned, but they weren’t as deep. Aaron left the bundle of nerves alone that he’d just played with in favor of stretching Sam’s passage some more, Aaron twisting his hand repeatedly. Aaron added a third finger and Sam clenched. The stronger burn and a genuine feeling of too much fullness overtook him.

  “Let go, Sam. Don’t resist. I won’t hurt you, but you can still tell me to stop if you need to.”

  He didn’t want to tell Aaron to stop. If he did, then he wouldn’t get to feel his lover inside of him, and he wanted that more than anything. Keeping his eyes closed, he concentrated on giving in to Aaron’s invasive touches, allowing him to take Sam’s body the way he wanted.

  Aaron spread his fingers wider, continuing to twist them. He went deeper, opening Sam up more as he did. This time, he ghosted over that spot again and Sam was surprised when his flaccid dick twitched in interest. Aaron was so incredible…the way he knew what to do to him. He was grateful that the man he’d found to be his love was so very skilled.

  Aaron withdrew and Sam made a sound of protest. He needed to be filled. The ache at the loss of Aaron’s intimate touch was painful.

  “We need more lubricant, little Sam. I want your first time to be wonderful.”

  Sam nodded, back to watching Aaron’s actions. There seemed to be much more of the liquid being poured and Sam was taken aback when Aaron added it to his own stiff flesh, coating it thoroughly. It also made perfect sense when Sam considered it. Aaron poured a second generous amount on his fingers then climbed onto the bed between Sam’s legs. As Sam watched Aaron reach down, pulling Sam’s sac up to slick his hole, he remembered to be nervous. It was like Aaron could read his mind when he spoke to Sam.

  “I love you, little Sam. We’re only going to do what you can handle, agreed?”

  Sam wanted to cry from Aaron’s utter kindness.

  “Agreed, Sir. I love you too.”

  Aaron leaned over him then placed his free hand on the side of his head. He took a kiss and Sam parted for him willingly. He was lost in Aaron’s exploration of his mouth and didn’t notice that he was no longer touching his opening until there was the sensation of soft steel nudging his entrance.

  I won’t clench.

  Aaron broke the kiss. “Push out, little Sam.”

  The very instant he complied with Aaron’s request, the large intrusion popped
into his passage. He clamped down involuntarily and hissed. The intense burn almost bordered on a sting, the increased stretch bordering on pain.

  “Slow breaths. I won’t go any further until you’re breathing evenly.”

  The thought of any other man doing this to him was incomprehensible. Not only because of his love for Aaron, but because of what he’d experienced with the men he’d come across since arriving in Hollywood. He couldn’t imagine anyone else being so patient and caring. They would’ve taken whatever they’d wanted, however they’d wanted it, instead of being so gentle with him.

  The tension in his muscles eased and he rested his ankles on Aaron’s hips at his lower back. Tentatively, he reached up to place his hands on Aaron’s shoulders. Sam nodded. Smiling warmly, Aaron sank into him, his movement slow and careful. When the bristly nest of curls at the base of Aaron’s cock was flush to Sam’s body, he rejoiced. Even if he thought he might tear in two, Aaron was all the way inside him. They were joined as if they were one person.

  Aaron bowed in on himself so that their foreheads could touch.

  “Love you, my sweet, sweet boy.”

  “Oh, Sir, you’re in me.”

  Licking at the seam of Sam’s lips, Aaron then murmured against his mouth.

  “Yes, little Sam. I would be like this with you forever if I could.”

  Sam wondered about that. Would they simply stay joined until Aaron came? He gasped as Aaron pulled slowly out then thrust back in the same way. Of course. Aaron would move just like they moved in each other’s mouths and hands.

  Aaron continued at the same pace, but seemed to plunge in deeper with each stroke. The burn, the sting—it was still there. The sensation of being much too full was also there, but he decided that he liked it. It was already clear to him that he would ask Aaron for more fucking. Even if it hurt a bit, he was sure it would get better the more they practiced.

  On the next thrust, Aaron jerked up and slammed into that spot in Sam’s passage. Sam dug his fingers into Aaron’s flesh, pressed his heels into his back.

  More.

  As if Aaron could read his mind, he did it again. And again. His speed increased with each snap of his hips and Sam’s dick filled, his need building low. He moaned, begging with his sounds for Aaron to keep going.

  “That’s it, little Sam, that’s it.”

  It was true—he was going to come again. He gazed up at Aaron’s face and met his eyes. The corners of Aaron’s lips were curled into a smile, his expression one of contentment. Sam was so excited and he wanted Aaron to be excited too.

  “Are you going to come with me?”

  Aaron’s brow creased. “Ah, sweet Sam, yes. Are you there?”

  “Almost. Just a little more…”

  Sighing, Aaron closed his eyes, his face contorting into a slight grimace. He pulled back then slammed home, groaning as he did. Then everything became a blur of sensation and their combined noises. Their cries increased, the pain and burn fading into the background as Aaron pegged him over and over. Droplets of sweat fell on him, Aaron’s movements becoming jerky. A slight pulse in Sam’s ass alerted him that Aaron was close. He didn’t know if he should hold back or let go. But he trusted. Aaron would know.

  Aaron threw his head back. “Oh, God, Sam. Now, come now!”

  Sam let out a garbled yell, akin to a growl as warmth shot between them. Aaron had gone completely rigid, the spasming strong in Sam’s channel, the heat of Aaron’s spend coating his insides a thrill. He had clamped down hard on Aaron’s cock and their joined release continued in waves that gradually eased.

  “Sam…”

  Aaron whispered his name over and over and Sam thought he really would cry. Being with Aaron was more beautiful than anything he’d ever known. He could never be without him.

  Chapter Nine

  They had only been able to fuck one more time in the week since Aaron had taken his virginity, and that time had only been a couple days before. His asshole and insides had been so sore afterwards. He’d recognized the look of concern in Aaron’s eyes after they’d finished and for once, he had been the one to reassure his lover that everything was okay. Aaron had made them wait before he would do that to Sam again.

  But they’d done plenty of other things. Aaron had taken to tying Sam up almost every day. He always used soft materials. Scarves and bowties made of silk, velvet covered ropes. He even had fur cuffs for Sam’s wrists and ankles that could be adjusted with leather ties to make them snugger. They had leather loops that Aaron could attach to the bed posts or to the large wooden cross shaped like an ‘X’ that he had displayed in his extra bedroom.

  They’d spent a lot of time in that room lately. There were plenty of items Sam had never seen before, but Aaron was always very careful to explain each one to him first before using it on Sam. Aaron combined hints of pain with the bondage—the clothespins on his nipples, spankings on his ass with a wooden spoon. Those stung, but there had been nothing very challenging. Nothing like he’d thought he would go through when Aaron first talked about pain. So far, everything Aaron had done had been more exciting than painful.

  Sam knew that Aaron was still going slowly with him. As much as he appreciated it, he wanted to show Aaron that he could handle more. He wanted to give Aaron the pleasure that he knew his lover craved.

  Aaron strolled into the living room, fresh from his shower, his silk robe tied around him. He had bought Sam one too, but hardly ever let him wear it. Sam was busy tending to Aaron’s Areca palm. He loved it so much. The fronds had needed some trimming, and Sam had asked Aaron to take him to the plant nursery to get some peat moss for it.

  They had rarely left the house since Sam had moved in. He knew that it was because of Aaron’s fears over his father finding him. Aaron had finally confessed to Sam that until he felt that he was aware of all possible threats to Sam, he wanted to keep him safely hidden away.

  Sam sat on his haunches, checking the dampness of the soil. He didn’t want to over water it, but it had been too dry when Sam had first moved in. It was already looking greener.

  “How’s our plant, little Sam?”

  “It’s yours, Sir. I’m just helping with it. Besides, it’s really a tree.”

  He flushed. He’d never corrected Aaron. He hoped he didn’t get the punishment Aaron had given him one time where he’d tied up Sam’s cock and balls and not let him come until the next morning. That had been very awful. But it had been fair. He shouldn’t have been playing with himself in the shower without Aaron’s permission.

  Your body is mine, little Sam. It’s for my pleasure, so therefore, I control it.

  Aaron had told him that many times, so Sam knew better. But he’d watched Aaron do his exercises that morning and it had made him so hard. He’d had no relief during his morning discipline either. How could he help touching himself when Aaron made him so excited?

  He peeked up at Aaron to see his reaction to what Sam had said. He seemed to be pondering something, but he didn’t look mad. Actually, Sam had never seen Aaron mad. He’d told the truth when he’d promised Sam that he would never hit him in anger.

  Sam’s legs began to ache, so he rested on his heels. Maybe if he appeared very, very submissive, Aaron wouldn’t give him a bad punishment for his disrespectful words.

  “I know, Sam. You can tell me sorry then we can be done with it.”

  Sam met his eyes. “I am sorry. Very, very sorry. I didn’t mean to act like I know more than you.”

  “Come sit with me, little Sam.”

  Aaron padded to the couch then sat down. Sam scrambled up from the floor to be next to his lover. He typically knelt or sat on the floor right by Aaron but once in a while, he wanted Sam next to him. It was usually when he wished to discuss something and he always made sure to keep eye contact with Sam.

  “Actually, you do know more than me about the subject of plants and greenery. It makes you very happy, doesn’t it?”

  “They’re so amazing, so pretty. When I was
still at my father’s home, they helped keep me calm. I could escape to the greenhouse and take care of them, do something that made me feel good.” He had an unexpected wave of emotion. “I hope Nadine is taking care of them.” His voice cracked. “I didn’t mean to abandon them like that. But my father had warned me that the next day we would be going to Gertrude’s parents and that I would offer to marry her or else. He’d said that we would go straight to the judge right after, to make it official. I panicked.”

  Aaron reached over and covered Sam’s hand.

  “There was nothing else you could do. And I’m sure if Nadine learned even half of what you know from helping you, that she’ll be taking very good care of your plants.”

  The tears fell unbidden. “I shouldn’t have left them behind. I was so selfish.” He looked to Aaron. “What will he do to my mother, my sisters?”

  Aaron wrapped him in an embrace and pulled him onto his lap. “Sweetest boy. You had to get away. You told me your mother encouraged you to leave. It was what she wanted for you.”

  His heart felt as if there was a vise closing around it. He had Aaron, he had everything. What did they have? The same cruel man who cared for nothing or no one except for himself. He sobbed in Aaron’s arms. Sam had the vague realization that he’d been lifted from the sofa and was being carried. It wasn’t until he was set down in front of the cross in the extra room that he realized where he’d been taken.

  The leather wrist and ankle cuffs affixed to each end of the wooden structure had short iron chains attached to them. The iron was heavy and reassuring. If Sam struggled in them at all, they made a dull, but satisfying clang against the large piece of furniture.

  “Front position, Sam.”

  He knew that Aaron wanted him to face the cross, spread his legs then lift his arms in order for Aaron to restrain him. There hadn’t been much in the way of pain inflicted on him on the cross as of yet. They’d primarily practiced with his positions and getting him accustomed to being bound to it. So far, the only thing that had been done to him on the wood piece was having his nipples clamped and being blindfolded while Aaron teased him with a silk scarf. That had been one of his favorite things ever. Once Aaron had aroused him to the state where he was begging and whimpering, Aaron had jacked him off with the soft square of fabric.