Lust (Seven Deadlies MC Book 5)

by Kaitlyn Ewald

  Billie considered what he asked of her. She thought about it for a long moment before she opened her mouth to say no, but he stopped her.

  “Billie, I’m begging you. Give me one more chance. Come with me, put a time limit on it if you need to. A week, a month, two months, whatever! Just give me a chance to change things between us, please.”

  “Saying no would be the easiest thing to do,” She said honestly.

  His eyes twinkled as he pushed the hair out of her face and leaned down to kiss her gently, his whiskers tickling her chin.

  “You’ve never been one to choose the easiest route. I know this time will be no different.”

  “If I come with you, it’ll be my choice, not yours.”

  “I know that, too. So you’ll come?”

  Billie considered her options, and the alternative. Letting him go was the one thing she didn’t want to do, and yet, it seemed to be the only thing her brain wanted her to do.

  Save your heart from him, Billie!

  The outlaw in her arms didn’t seem to follow any of the rules that she liked to live by, and eventually that could become a problem. What happens when he gets bored of her? What happens when he wakes up and decides that Billie King isn’t what he wanted after all?

  “How long?”

  Confused, he asked, “How long what?”

  “How long until you grow bored of me, and I end up all alone again?”

  Slayer tsked under his breath and shook his head, his long hair falling into his bright blue eyes as he pulled her in even closer to him.

  “I’ll never grow bored of you, Billie. I won’t lie and placate you, or tell you that I’ve been alone all these years. I haven’t. I’ve wasted a lot of time with a lot of women who meant nothing to me, and will always mean nothing. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved, and while I know that saying that doesn’t take the sting away, I can’t change the past.”

  “I know you can’t change that, Slayer. You’re right, it bothers me, and I don’t know how long it will bother me for. I can’t guarantee I’ll ever actually move on from everything that’s happened, but I know that I’ll regret it if I don’t try this one more time with you.”

  Slayer’s eyes closed in what seemed to be relief as he leaned his forehead against hers, his lips touching the tip of her nose.

  “I promise you won’t regret this,” He whispered tenderly.

  “I have a feeling it won’t be nearly that easy.”

  Chapter 10

  Billie hadn’t realized when she agreed to go with Slayer that they’d be riding his bike back. She stared at the monstrous machine, painted black with a very accurate depiction of a thunderstorm on the underside of the belly.

  “Don’t stare at it so hard, you’ll make the paint peel,” He joked.

  Billie accepted the kiss he pressed to her temple and glanced at the saddle bags hanging from the side of the bike.

  “I won’t be able to fit much of anything in there,” She said.

  “You don’t need much of anything, baby. I’ll buy you whatever you need once we get to North Carolina,” He said.

  “When will we be back?”

  Slayer glanced at the house behind them and slowly shook his head.

  “Honestly, probably not for a while. Not unless you wake up and decide that you want to come back.”

  Billie tried not to focus on the sad way that he said that, because it was a possibility. It also meant that he wouldn’t join her.

  “For now, let’s just go with the extended vacation theory. I don’t want to put any pressure on us to be perfect, okay? This won’t be the easiest transition we’ve ever made, but if it’s meant to work, it will. Commitment is a commitment, slayer. You have to choose to love someone, every day, no matter how hard it gets.”

  He watched her quietly for a moment before he smiled.

  “I missed you.”

  She smiled back at him, admiring the way his cut fit his broad shoulders and the way that his hair fell into his mischievous eyes. In some ways he looked so much like the young man she used to love and in many ways he was completely different.

  “Answer me something, Noah.”

  His brow furrowed at the mention of his real name.

  “What?”

  “Why me? Why come back here and rekindle something with me when you’ve obliviously hit the jackpot in North Carolina. No commitment to any of the whores you sleep with, no woman to answer to. Why give all that up?”

  Slayer watched her with wide eyes before he slowly lifted one of her hands from its place on her hip and turned it over, kissing the palm.

  “You haven’t figured it out yet, have you?”

  “Figured what out?,” she asked, confused.

  He smiled, ran a hand along the underside of his jaw as he watched the sun on the horizon for a moment.

  “Loving you is easily the purest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve never questioned it, I’ve never second guessed you, fuck Billie, I’ve never been very good at it, but I sure as hell never forgot. I know you’re not there yet with me, and I hold on to the hopes that one day you’ll wake up and it’ll be like we never stopped. It ain’t me givin’ anything up to be with you, Billie. It’s me finally being able to avoid all that bullshit so that I can be with you,” He explained.

  When he put it that way it made her feel shameful for treating him the way she had been since he returned home. She knew that Laura wouldn’t have wanted it, but it couldn’t be helped. She couldn’t just forget about the time that had passed between them like he wanted her to; but, she could give them the chance to find something deeper between the two of them.

  Billie traced the line of Slayer’s jaw and tipped his chin up, admiring the way his profile blended into the waning sunlight.

  “What am I getting myself into?”

  “Honestly?”

  She nodded.

  “The lifestyle you’re about to dive into head first is going to terrify you. I can’t help that, even though I wish that I could. I apologize beforehand for what you’re gonna see or hear or experience, but you have to remember that not everything foreign is bad, Billie,” He said sternly.

  Billie sure did hate change and she would be the first to admit it. It took a while for her to come around to new things, to truly be okay with them, and she knew that this would more than likely be a transition she wouldn’t want to make for a while.

  In the long run it would work out, it would be good for them, because she didn’t exactly have very many things keeping her in Georgia. Billie wished she had a valid argument for why she shouldn’t go, but she didn’t have one. She couldn’t think of a reasonable excuse no matter how hard she thought about it.

  “Billie? You still with me?”

  She nodded her head, hoping that she looked more sure about the decision versus how she felt about it.

  He chuckled under his breath and kissed her forehead, a gesture that had her heart pounding in her chest.

  “You’re a terrible liar, always have been. Let’s leave this conversation be for now, okay? It’ll be way easier to talk yourself out of coming with me than to talk yourself in.”

  He was right and Billie knew it, and it did her no good to stress about the unknown or the inevitable. There was nothing wrong with what she was doing. As a photographer, she could make money anywhere, so there were no strings career wise to keep her in Georgia, either. For a long time she tried to convince herself that she didn’t want to move anywhere else, but she did feel a blip of excitement at the prospect of a new place to explore.

  She hadn’t had any excitement for a long time, and it would seem that she (tentatively) had her partner in crime back, and maybe he’d gotten even better at it over the years. Slayer and her used to have the best time getting into trouble, exploring, seeking out adventure whenever they could. Whether it was tipping a cow or getting drunk in a field somewhere, they had a blast.

  “We’re ahead of schedule as far as getting home goes…you wanna exte
nd this trip by a day or two? We can stop a hotel, spend some time together doing ‘normal,’ things? I hate to break it to ya, but once we get back into Deadly territory, there won’t be much that you’ll consider normal anymore,” Slayer said.

  That statement certainly had a shiver running up and down her spine as she considered what he was saying.

  What exactly does that mean?

  What am I walking into?

  “Sure, that sounds nice.”

  Slayer didn’t look too convinced that she was excited, and then something else crossed her mind…

  “I don’t know if I can sleep with you,” She blurted.

  He blinked.

  “Huh?”

  “We may have been together at one point, but for now, this is all moving really fast. I’m a little intimidated by your past, and honestly, I don’t know if I’m ready to spread my legs for you, yet.”

  “That’s a crude fuckin’ way to say it, don’t ya think?”

  Billie crossed her hands across her chest and linked her arms together.

  “Don’t act like that filthy mouth of yours hasn’t said its fair share of crude things.”

  “Okay, that may be fair, but I wouldn’t ever pressure you into anything, Billie. You should know that by now. I’m not some little tyke lookin’ for a quick fuck, I can get that anywhere. What I want with you means much more than that.”

  That made her feel better and worse, even though she should be grateful that he was being so honest. Slayer was telling her that he wanted her and only her; but she was about to travel to his stomping ground, where she knew she wouldn’t be able to escape his previous ‘lovers.’ Call her old fashioned, but she wasn’t exactly jumping for joy over that.

  “I can tell that you’re sincere and I am not trying to be difficult, I just- I don’t wanna face all those women you dipped your wick in, ya know? I don’t exactly have a long list of men knockin’ on my door, and that was my choice, I know that. You’re gonna get bored,” She said softly.

  His eyes darkened slightly before he shook his head and wrapped his hands around her waist, dragging her closer to him. Her arms were still crossed against her chest, keeping them slightly apart.

  “Do you think I’d ask you to come with me if I thought even for a second that I would get bored of you?”

  “I don’t know,” She admitted.

  He sighed.

  “That’s my fault, and I take the blame for it. But, no, I’ll never get bored of you. I didn’t leave before because of you, I left because of me. In time you’ll see that, but more importantly, you’ll believe it.”

  She contemplated that and did her best to start believing him, but it would take time.

  “I told you it would take time.”

  “I know that, and I’m tryin’ to give ya that, baby. I’m takin’ you with me so that I can give ya what you deserve.”

  Her heart warmed at that, but she did her best to keep it hidden. Until she could trust him one hundred percent, she didn’t want him to know the power he had over her.

  “Okay, let’s have some dinner. It’s our last night in this house for a while, I wanna enjoy it,” She said.

  Slayer looked towards the house and scratched the back of his neck.

  “Dinner and movie, like old times? We can even build a fort in the living room like we used to,” He offered with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

  Billie couldn’t pass that offer up, “Sounds perfect to me.”

  ◆◆◆

  Slayer watched Billie stir dinner on the stove. The way their kitchen and dining area was set up was simple, but enjoyable. They were on an open floor plan, so he could clearly see her from his seat on the couch. He’d offered to help, but much like she used to, she shooed him away.

  She obviously didn’t know how beautiful she was, either. He could watch her for always, with the way her chocolatey hair fell over her eyes. If ever he wanted to know how she truly felt, all he had to do was watch the emotions take over her face. She didn’t mean to be, but she was the most expressive person he’d ever met.

  It suited someone like her, who kept everything inside until she was ready to burst. He hated that she did that to herself, but he couldn’t stop it. He’d tried over the years and the harder he tried the more she clammed up, refusing to tell him what was going on in her head.

  Sometimes he physically ached because he couldn’t figure out what she was thinking about.

  The smell of chili permeated in the air and he had to admit it smelled divine; his mother’s recipe to be sure, and the only other human on the planet that could make it as good as Laura was Billie.

  “Cornbread is almost done.”

  “Is it-,” She peeked at him over the stove.

  “Yes, it’s sweet.”

  He could only smile at the fact that she remembered, even though he had no doubt that she would. Billie was always good for stuff like that; remembering the fine details of things when he could easily forget them not soon after they happened.

  “Billie, remember the first time we watched Halloween? Right here, under a fort?,” He asked.

  She glanced at him and nodded, a smile on her face.

  “Yeah, I remember.”

  “We should watch Halloween tonight,” He suggested.

  Her smile turned into a grin, “You know I’m a horror movie buff. I can’t say no to a classic like that,” She admitted.

  Slayer knew she wouldn’t say no, so he meandered towards the hall closet and began opening it, taking out blanket after blanket.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Giving you the best of both worlds,” He said.

  Their living room was a barrage of beige and white and purple, and expertly decorated. Apart from a few minor repairs in the house, there wasn’t much that needed to be fixed or replaced or changed; Slayer assumed that was mostly due to Billie.

  Their sectional couch served perfectly to build a fort as he connected the blankets to the couch via pillows and the coffee table, creating a perfect little hut for the two of them. As she finshed readying dinner, he rented the movie they wanted to watch and lit a few candles in the living room. By the time she was done and holding two plates in her hands, he was greeting her at the mouth of the kitchen, a smile on his face.

  “Wow, what’s all this for?”

  Billie was smiling though, so he knew that he’d done good by giving her a little romance.

  “I just thought we could relax a little while we eat and get comfortable. A lady deserves a little romance now and then,” He smiled.

  She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him for the first time on her own. It wasn’t much, just a kiss to the side of his chin, but he felt it all the way down to his toes. Billie was an affectionate creature once she was comfortable, and that served to prove that over time, her walls would come crumbling down. He was patient enough to wait for it.

  “Okay, I’ve got the movie ready to go. Why don’t you climb in first, and we’ll get this party started?”

  “It’s just a movie, you weirdo,” She said with a laugh.

  “It’s never just a movie with you.”

  She didn’t confirm nor deny, but she did take a seat inside of his adult-fort and settle in against the blankets and pillows he had piled inside. She looked more than comfortable as she ate and started the movie, watching the screen avidly. Slayer settled in too, his plate in his hands as he watched the screen. Her closeness felt good, it felt right, it felt a little domesticated.

  Slayer didn’t have many opportunities to enjoy the domesticated life back home, mostly due to the fact that he lived with a bunch of rowdy bikers who couldn’t spell the word let alone know what it meant.

  “This is good, just like mama used to make,” He commented.

  She smiled fondly at the mention of his mother and nodded.

  “I only got it right recently. I wasn’t using enough salt, believe it or not.”

  “Really? Something so simple made it taste that different
?”

  Billie slowly nodded and wiped her mouth with her napkin.

  “According to Laura, it did. She would taste it religiously as I cooked it every time. The last time we made it together I tried adding a pinch more salt- a pinch, Slayer- and she praised the heavens that I’d finally gotten it right,” Billie said as she laughed at the memory.

  He couldn’t help but smile either, because he knew how much his mother loved Billie and vice versa. Happy little hens they were, always together. A pang of sadness resonated through him at the memory of his mom and he did his best to let it pass.

  I should have come home.

  I should have visited.

  Worried that he would ruin the evening if he mentioned her, he did his best to finish eating and keep his hands to himself.

  Chapter 11

  Billie kept her eyes on the screen, but there was no denying the tension between them. She could practically feel the electricity sizzling between them, just like it always had. It was damn near palpable and even though she’d just given him the ‘talk,’ which basically outlined all the ways she didn’t trust him, she wanted him to touch her.

  It hung in the air between them like all the words she wanted to find but just couldn’t say. They slithered on the back of her tongue like her deepest fears danced in her chest, and for some reason, she kept quiet.

  What if he expects it out of me?

  What if he changes his mind?

  What if this doesn’t work out?

  Billie knew, deep down in her heart, that it was okay if she gave in, just a little. Her mind would never let her relax if she gave unto it every time she didn’t feel the most comfortable, and it isn’t like Slayer hadn’t seen this first hand before. He would know.

  “Billie?”

  “Yes?”

  “Relax, I ain’t gonna pounce on ya. I wouldn’t take advantage of ya like that.”