“What makes you think I am going to go along with you?” Cal stomped toward the edge of the bed, his amber eyes sparked with annoyance.
“I need you to stay here to tell Lars after I’m gone. You can even say you tried to stop me.”
“Sprite spit! You really want to shorten my pixie life, don’t you?”
“Ahh, it keeps you young.”
“Yeah, because if I am dead, I won’t age,” Cal grumbled. “I’m not stupid enough to go against the Unseelie King.”
I wiggled my eyebrows. “Yes, you will.”
He eyed me, quick to catch my meaning. “I cannot be bought, girlie.”
With that I started to chuckle.
“All right!” He shrugged and sighed. “You know my weakness. I cannot fight you either, you evil sorceress.” He slung his arm across his eyes dramatically.
“Thought so.” I grinned.
A few hours later I found myself deep in the Otherworld. The forest on the Dark side reminded me of my dreams before I knew my true nature or powers. Shadows clung to each crooked tree, wrapping so tightly the lines blurred where one tree ended and the other began. Limbs kinked and twisted, curling into the night sky, only letting the moonlight beam down in rays through the branches. It looked like the dark enchanted forest you always imagined in your head as a child, full of goblins and monsters. I wasn’t afraid. As much as I had loved the forest of the light, I found I loved the forest of the Dark even more. The magic filled my lungs with dense air and sparked energy into my body.
“This way, my lady.” Simmons’ wings vibrated the air, giving off tiny sparks. It made me wonder if this action was where the idea of pixie dust came from. Magic charged their surroundings, and the friction of his beating wings caused the aura to glimmer behind him. I had never noticed it before. If it was because the magic was thicker here or because it was so dark I could finally see it, I didn’t know. It was cool nonetheless.
The deeper Simmons took me into the Dark Fae forest, the more I noticed the creatures. A few times I heard mumbling and movement of undergrowth as something dodged away from me. An animal the size of a bunny with red eyes and horns darted into the brush.
“What was that?”
“Probably a horned-hare, tree hobbit, or a ground troll.” Simmons waved his hand, dismissing all of them.
“Oh, yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” I said dryly. The Otherworld was still such a mystery to me, and sometimes I would stop and think: Holy crap ... this is my life.
“Watch your step, my lady. There’s a dwarf’s burrow here.” I tramped around the spot where Simmons hovered. Distorted branches broke through the growth stretching for the ground. They clawed at my back and hair as I bent. There was emptiness now in my soul where I once felt the life of the earth. The trees seemed curious when I passed, as if they felt something different about me, but they quickly lost interest when they felt nothing more inside.
A large leathery winged creature with pointy teeth skimmed my head. “Crap on ash bark! What the hell swooped past us?”
Simmons sighed and turned to see what I was screeching about. The thing buzzed my head again, its soft, bushy tail brushing across my forehead. I hit the ground in defense.
“Oh, yeah, those things are usually nasty.” Simmons pulled out his plastic weapon. “But this one is only a baby. Doesn’t even have its horns yet.”
“What is it? Some kind of bat?”
“No. It’s a wolpertinger, a kind of squirrel with wings, antlers, tail, and fangs.” He slipped his sword back in his belt loop. “His fangs are too little to do any damage to you, my lady, and he has no horns yet. You are safe.”
“A wolpertinger? It doesn’t have parents or cousins or anything close by?” I slowly stood.
“Yeah, most likely.” Simmons swung back around. Where Cal would have said it sarcastically, Simmons was merely matter-of-fact. “We should probably get out of its territory.”
I quickly followed Simmons. We traveled for a bit as I tried to keep up with him. When we broke through the growth, I paused. My eyes widened at the beauty ahead of me. White light glowed through the mist like Christmas lights. These tiny lit bulbs flickered around me, circling like fireflies. A tickling on my arm caused me to look down. One landed on me.
“What are those?” My eyes examined the dime size creature. It didn’t look like a normal firefly; it was more like an oversized ladybug with electric wings glowing every time it started to fly.
“Lamprog.” Simmons frowned, shooing it off my arm. “Get away.”
“Hey! It wasn’t hurting anyone.” I scowled at Simmons. “They’re beautiful.”
“Not as much as you think.” Simmons snorted. The one he shooed away came back around. The closer it got, the larger its fangs appeared, protruding from its mouth.
Sharp pain zapped up my arm as its teeth sunk into my wrist. “Ow!” I screamed swatting at the bug. “What the hell?”
“I told you, my lady. They are not nice. Most things in this forest aren’t necessarily pleasant no matter how cute they look.”
“Damn.” I shook my arm. Tingles infiltrated my arm, as the venom worked itself up. “Are they dangerous?”
“Not individually, but once a year on the full moon before Samhain, thousands of lamprog gather to mate. They get violent and aggressive and can be especially dangerous then. On any other day, they are merely a nuisance. Your arm might be numb for a while, but the venom should not hurt you.”
“The ‘should’ in that sentence doesn’t cause me to feel better.”
“Come on, my lady.” Simmons flew forward. “Don’t let them land on you, and you will be fine.”
I followed Simmons for what felt like a half hour, but time here felt peculiar. It could have been minutes or days.
“Through here. We are almost there, my lady.” He pointed at a cave. It was pitch black, and moss clung to the sides, dripping over the passage like dreadlocks.
“You want me to go in there?”
“There is no other way.” Simmons landed roughly on my shoulder. Without missing a beat, I wrapped my hand around him, steadying him. “You did bring a torch?”
“Yeah.” My fingers dove into my pocket, grappling with the small flashlight I stuffed there.
“As you might recall, my lady, pixies do not care for caves very much.”
I brought my hair over my shoulder, hiding Simmons underneath it. “Better?”
“Yes, my lady.” His wings fluttered against my neck as he tucked in tighter. “But I hate caves. They’re full of bats and spiders, all things which tend to consider pixies food.”
I shared Simmons’ fears of creepy crawly things.
“Big girl pants. Big girl pants.” I repeated and stepped into the opaque partition dividing me from my family.
NINE
The mouth of the tunnel swallowed me and dropped me down the throat of the mountain. The walls closed in tighter, my breath a clipped, quick reiteration. Simply breathe. Keep calm. You can get out, I repeated in my head and kept my focus on my feet. Simmons stayed nestled in my neck and encouraged me along the way, “Almost there, my lady.”
Eventually we came out of the tunnel to a beautiful oasis. The spot was at the bottom of a gully. The mountain encased a stone cabin, and a waterfall feeding a small lake sat on the opposite side. It seemed well protected. You had to know where it stood, or you would never realize it was there.
My mom, Torin, and Thara stepped out of the cabin with weapons. All guns pointed at me.
“What is your business here?” Thara clicked off the safety.
“Don’t shoot! It’s me.” I held up my arms.
“Ember?” Mom lowered the gun a little, but she remained on guard.
“Of course it’s my lady.” Simmons flew out of my mane.
Torin let his arm fall to his side at seeing Simmons. Since Aneira had taken my powers, Torin and I no longer had a bond; he couldn’t feel me or sense I was coming.
Mom dropped her
weapon back in the holster and ran for me, but she stopped when she got close. I could see her forehead scrunch and her eyes fill with tears probably not sure how I would react—wanting to wrap her arms around me but not sure if she was allowed to hug anymore. Since talking to Lars, my ire had dissipated quite a bit, though there remained a wall between us, and I knew she was leaving it to me to break it down or not.
“The alarm went off.” She took another tentative step to me. Of course. They probably had their place spelled up the wazoo.
“You guys should be on the defensive.” I looked at my shoes.
“I am so happy you are here,” she said softly, bringing my focus back on her.
I nodded, then returned my attention back on my feet.
“Well, come in.” She turned her body and motioned for me to head for the cabin.
“Ember?” I heard a male voice call from the porch. The familiarity of it caused tears to prick under my lids. I ran toward Mark. He came off the porch, meeting me half way. His arms engulfed me in a bear hug and squashed me with the intensity.
“Sunny D,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head. I clung to him with everything I had. This man was everything to me. There was no doubt who my “dad” was. “I have missed you so much.”
A choked cry burst from my throat, my vocal chords too thick to respond. He was all right. Maybe he could never return to Earth again, but he was alive.
“I love you so much,” I finally mumbled. He hugged me tighter before he kissed my head again. When I pulled back, my eyes landed on the burn scar on his face. I flinched, taking his arm in my hand, seeing the mutilation there as well.
“Don’t go there, Em. I am fine. Please don’t blame yourself.” The wrinkled, discolored flesh would forever be a reminder of what I was capable of. No matter what Mark said, the guilt would never resolve itself. I would have to live with it.
Only the sound of Ryan calling drew me away from Mark’s embrace. I went from his arms to Ryan’s in an instant.
“M&M.” He sighed in my ear.
Responsibility hit me like a punch to the gut. “Ry, I am so sorry. For everything.” I pulled back to look at him. The glow emanating from him earlier had evened out. It was hard to explain. He looked normal, but I could smell he was not entirely human anymore. His skin had a radiance models would envy. He had lost weight from being sick but was still the warm teddy bear I loved. The big difference was his brilliant smile. He seemed ... happy. My gaze went to Castien in the doorway, leaning against the frame. His eyes were on Ryan.
“Em, there is nothing you should apologize for. None of this was your fault.” Ryan’s gaze penetrated mine.
“We both know that’s not true.” I shook my head.
“Wow! Hello, self-absorbed.” Ryan’s hand went in circular movements around me. “This is not all about you ...” He tried to hold a serious look but failed miserably. “It’s about me.” A small laugh expelled my chest. Ryan could always make me feel better no matter what mood I was in.
“I appreciate it, Ry, but you and I both know you would not be here if it wasn’t for me.” I glanced away. “You ... we ... wouldn’t have lost Ian.”
Ryan looked at his feet. This time he was all seriousness. “I don’t blame you, Em. At first I did. Then I realized you were a victim, too. We can all play the blame game, but the person we should be punishing is the girl who killed him.” Samantha. Even the thought of her caused hatred so pure and raw it made me dizzy. “You can throw Lorcan in there for good measure, too.”
“I will get revenge, Ryan. I swear to you. Samantha will pay. So will Lorcan.”
Ryan looked at me for a few moments. A lot had changed since the last time we saw each other. He finally gave a nod, understanding and accepting my meaning. Ryan was definitely more of a lover than a fighter. But Ian was worth the fight. And the kill.
Ryan cleared his throat. “All this seriousness makes me want to get ar meisce.” He threw up his arms and turned back for the entry to the cabin. “Mead all around!”
“Mead?” I cocked an eyebrow.
“Yeah, Ryan is getting into his new world a little too well.” Castien chuckled, nudging Ryan as he went through the doorway.
“I am acclimating,” Ryan’s fingers curled into quotation marks.
“If that’s what you want to call it.” Castien snickered. Their banter was familiar and comfortable.
“We were making dinner.” Mom came to me. “I hope you will stay.”
“Of course she will.” Mark’s arm reached around me, leading me into the house.
Everyone drifted back into the warm cabin. It was bigger than it looked from the outside with the back part of it built into the mountain. Wooden floors and stone walls gave it a homey feel. Overstuffed sofas were arranged around the fireplace, where a warm blaze danced in the hearth. Fire still called to my soul, twisting around my veins. The flames curled and swayed with hypnotic grace. I stretched my hand out to feel the heat. But it did not acknowledge me or respond to the connection we used to have. I was nothing to it. I blinked and turned away, feeling oddly rejected.
I scanned the rest of the house. A kitchen was off to the left side as you walked in, and a huge wooden table sat between the living space and kitchen. A bathroom and what I figured to be a bedroom were on the right side. A spiral staircase next to the living room led to the second story. It wasn’t huge, but it was nice and seemed like enough space for the six of them, especially when most of them probably preferred to be outdoors when they could.
Thara and Mark had made venison stew, while mom baked soda bread. I assumed Thara had killed and skinned the deer, and Mark had cooked it. Mark had always been the chef in our house. Mom liked to bake but not cook. Now I knew she had people who had cooked for her most of her life. Her role in the castle had been far away from the kitchens.
Simmons took pride in helping my mom roll and knead the bread. Castien and Ryan set the table. Everyone played a role in this little family, except Torin. He plunked himself on the sofa with a cup of mead in his hand, glaring at the fire.
Even though I could no longer sense Torin, my Dark Dweller senses picked up on a heavy, angry aura which surrounded him. The anger and resentment discharging off him hurt me deeply. He had been so sure of his life’s path that when it didn’t go the way he planned, he couldn’t handle it. It was in his blood to be a soldier and the First Knight. He was no longer either. He also had been so sure of his fate with me. All of this was dumped on top of what Aneira did to him: the brutalizing and torture. How could anybody come back from something so horrible? Especially when the one you did it for falls in love with someone you hate.
“Hey.” I sat on the sofa next to him.
His lips pressed together, and his eyes stayed firmly on the fire.
I licked my bottom lip. “Torin, I want to apologize ...”My sentence trailed off. His jaw clenched, and his teeth ground audibly. “I am sorry for what you went through. What you did for me.” I shook my head at the memory of his bruised and bloody face when he had escaped from the castle. His nose had been broken, his eye swollen shut, and dried blood caked his scalp. “I can never repay you for your sacrifice. For always being there for me.” I placed my hand on his.
Torin jerked his hand from under mine.
Swallowing back the rebuff, I continued. “Torin, I am so, so—”
“You were the only thing helping me through.” He cut me off. “When she poured boiling tar over me, when she beat me with a spiked club, when she put me on the rack and pleased herself on me over and over as my joints were being ripped apart, I imagined your face, saw your smile, heard your laugh. It took me somewhere else. I could escape my hell for a moment knowing you were out there waiting for me. You were the reason I wanted to survive. Because at the end of it, I would have you.”
My fingers gripped each other so hard my knuckles turned white. “Oh, Jesus,” I whispered. There was a long drawn out pause, which felt filled with tension, sorrow, and unease.
His body language expressed he did not want my pity or apology. Finally a hoarse whisper came out of my mouth. “You are free of me now. The bond is gone. You must have felt the truth of it by now. You can move on with your life.” Maybe with Thara.
Torin bolted off the sofa. His voice sounded low and tight. “Do you think I would stop loving you because there is no more bond? You don’t know me at all.” He took a step before he turned to me. “Everything I did was because I loved you. Because you were supposed to be my future. My wife. My love. Bond or not.” He turned from me and stormed out of the cabin, slamming the door.
An awkward silence packed the small house. Thara stared at the door and looked like she wanted to follow him. I did, too, but I doubted he would want to see my face anymore. I still couldn’t give him what he wanted.
Mom wiped her hands on a towel and came to me. “Give him time,” she spoke softly.
I nodded and looked down at my lap. Acid worked up from my stomach as I considered what had actually happened to him. Theories had mulled around in my mind, but the actual truth of what she did to him made vomit curdle at the back of my throat, a breath away from release.
“Uncomfortable moments like these call for more alcohol.” Ryan came over and handed me a cup of mead, a delicious wine made from fermenting honey. It was strong and tasted sweet and smooth.
Mark placed the stew on the table, and we all sat around the table. Simmons had been staying here and someone had built him a doll-size chair and table they placed next to me. It looked like Mom’s handy work. Like me, she also loved building and creating things. Simmons’ mead glass was a thimble. I knew if Cal were here, he would be yelling how his cup was no more than a shot glass and someone had better get him something he could swim in.
The alcohol eased the tension at the table a bit. Torin did not return, which was probably better, and everyone started to relax. By my second glass, even my guard against my mother was softening. I wanted to talk to her. Lars had helped me see I owed her a chance to tell her story.
Blood Beyond Darkness Page 9
