NOT SO Special: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  Tinsley made a motion at me and I swung, slapping her again.

  Same hand, same cheek, same stinging pain in my hand.

  She swung again, hitting me in the mouth for a second time.

  It was the slowest and dumbest girl fight ever.

  I turned and walked away.

  Just like that.

  Behind me I heard the grunts and growls as Them literally fought the Rulz.

  I licked my bottom lip and tasted blood.

  When I got back to the car, I started to drive without really thinking.

  I just needed to be away from Them.

  But I couldn’t go to Jo’s…

  I could drive back to my old town.

  Find my mother.

  That meant dealing with Chester.

  And after what Them did to Chester…

  It all started to crash around me.

  In a messy way it was making sense.

  Choose. Use. Lose.

  That was the way they did it.

  That was Them.

  All three had their chance to flirt and kiss me… their moment to see what would happen next. And because of Ash being lucky… I texted him first…

  But the way I feel. The way it all feels. It’s real.

  It was so real.

  I started to drive faster.

  Putting the distance between me and Them.

  There was only one place to go.

  One thing left to do.

  Them…

  I shook my head.

  They wanted to play the game?

  They chose me. The used me.

  But…

  I was now going to lose Them.

  * * *

  The car could text anyone I wanted it to.

  What a fucking feature.

  I wasn’t sure why I yelled at the car, but I did.

  “Text Lizzy. Tell her I said to meet me outside BFH right now. It’s time to do what needs to be done. Don’t ask what that means. Just meet me now. Send.”

  Lizzy replied with one letter.

  K

  That was it.

  There was nothing else to text about either.

  It was up to me to work it all out as I drove to BFH.

  This needed to be done right now before my time at BFH was over.

  And truthfully, the words Jo threw at me weren’t just true, they were right.

  What the hell gave me the right to step in on her relationship with Michael? I had been so used to keeping an eye on my mother and her relationships… but Jo wasn’t my mother. She never would be. And if she and Michael weren’t exclusive or had an arrangement…

  My heart hurt for her.

  Because I hurt her.

  Because I ran to her, waving my arms (not literally), wanting to share gossip and dirty secrets.

  Just like you’re doing now, Belle.

  “This is different,” I said to the glow of the dashboard. “This is fucking different.”

  This was about Them.

  All the feelings I had been wrestling with.

  Just for Them to set me up. To use me like they did. Sending me to meet Tinsley. Leaving me hating her when I knew nothing about her.

  I licked my lip.

  It was now swollen. I could still taste blood.

  I was kind enough to just slap that bitch.

  I wished I had hit her for real. Really!

  When I got to BFH, I parked at the opposite end of the lot. There were cameras everywhere. And I was pretty damn sure those cameras reached where I was parked. But I told myself maybe there was a chance they didn’t reach.

  Then again, what did it matter? I wasn’t going to do anything crazy.

  Yet.

  fourteen

  I leaned against my car and took the last drag of the cigarette as Lizzy pulled into the parking lot. She and Danica hurried to get out of the car and raced toward me as I dropped the cigarette to the ground and stepped on it.

  I hugged myself, almost embraced by the cloud of bad for you smoke, and contained my tears. There would come a time for crying because of all of this shit, but tonight wasn’t it.

  “Belle,” Lizzy said.

  “Holy shit, you look pissed,” Danica said.

  My eyes moved between them. “It’s all crumbling now. Finally, I guess. You get what you want.”

  “What I want?” Lizzy asked.

  “What you said,” I said. “On top of that, you were right about what I saw. I tried to talk to Jo and she… well… it’s all fucked up now. And I mean all of it.”

  “Belle, let’s go to my house for the night,” Lizzy said. “You’re livid. And you have every right to be livid. So just…”

  I pointed at Lizzy. “Too late for that. I’m getting what I wanted all along. Then I’m… you know what? Fuck the ending. Fuck the story. I’m doing what they do. I’m playing their game now. They want to go fight the Rulz and pull me into it?”

  “That’s what they did?” Danica asked. “Like… fighting?”

  “Look at my fucking lip, Danica,” I growled.

  “Holy shit,” she said. “Who did that to you?”

  “Tinsley Ditkiss,” I said. “Stupid bitch.”

  “Oh no,” Lizzy said. “Oh… Belle…”

  I put my hand out. “I got her a couple times. Then I left. I wasn’t going to stick around and fight some bitch I know nothing about. Fuck that. I’m not doing it anymore. I’m going to hit Them the way I want.”

  “Okay,” Lizzy said. “But we can’t talk about it here. It can’t happen right now, Belle. Please, just trust me.”

  “Let’s go back to Lizzy’s and chill for a second,” Danica said. “We’ll come up with an actual plan. So nobody else gets hurt. Or in trouble.”

  I laughed. “I thought you were the smart one, Danica. We’re beyond not getting hurt and into trouble. At least I am. Do you think I’m fucking afraid of that right now?”

  “No,” Danica said. “And that makes me afraid, Belle.”

  “Good,” I said.

  I turned to get into my car and I spotted the baseball stadium.

  In a way that’s where it all started, right? With Ryan and the other douche jocks coming up to me on the beach. Running their mouths. Trying to touch me. When all I wanted to do was mind my own fucking business and find a sense of peace. That’s why Jo brought me to her house, right? To give me a chance to find some peace before I was thrown back into the fire.

  But the fire followed me. And that fire caught fire with the BFH fire…

  Enough of the fire, Belle.

  “Belle?” Lizzy asked. “Did you hear what Danica said?”

  I smiled. “I fucking heard it. I just need to get ready.”

  “We’re going to do that, Belle,” Danica said.

  I helped myself to another cigarette and started to walk toward the baseball field.

  “Belle…”

  I looked back at Lizzy and Danica. And I grinned with my swollen lip.

  “Cover my ass for a second… I need to get something.”

  * * *

  “Let me just double check something.”

  I stood at the bottom of the steps to Lizzy’s house as she barreled toward the door. The last little bit of daylight flirted with the sky. It made me happy to know real darkness was on its way…

  “What’s she doing?” I asked Danica.

  “Her mother is… she’s a good person but a little… I don’t know. She’s the kind of mom who will drag us into the kitchen and make us something to eat. She feels bad for being a single mom.”

  “Single mom?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” Danica asked. “Lizzy’s father took off a long time ago. Wants nothing to do with his family. But he writes really big checks that always clear. So it balances out.”

  “That’s fucked up.”

  “Everything is fucked up, Belle,” Danica said. “Don’t go getting soft now. Lizzy’s mother does just fine. She’s rich from her ex and she always has someone in her life.”


  Like my mother…

  I looked to the front door. “Lizzy is ashamed.”

  “You think?” Danica asked.

  “It’s like we’re all the same in a way.”

  “One thing at a time, Belle,” Danica said.

  I sat down on the steps and waited for Lizzy.

  When she came back out, she was out of breath and flustered.

  I looked up at her. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” she said. “I’m sorry, Belle.”

  “Sorry for what?”

  “For everything I ever said. I knew this was going to get bad but…”

  “But what?” Danica asked.

  “I shouldn’t have said what I said,” Lizzy said. “This is insane.”

  “Excuse me?” I asked.

  “You can just crash here,” Lizzy said. “Like we talked about. And just do your thing.”

  I laughed. “I’m beyond staying here, Lizzy. I’m not letting Them get away with this.”

  “What? Tricking you?”

  Danica sat next to me and put her hand to my hand. “It’s more than that. Way more than that. You fell for Them. Not just one… but all of Them. In their own way. But there is one…”

  I blinked fast as I stared at Danica.

  “Come here, Belle,” she whispered.

  I pushed her away. “No. Fuck that. I’m not going to collapse into myself.” I stood up and faced Lizzy. “You wanted this, Lizzy. You said this was the way to do it. To get all the truths, right? So that’s what I’m going to do.”

  “I’ll tell you the truths,” Lizzy said. “You know most of it. You want to know about Penelope?”

  “Lizzy,” Danica said. “You don’t know what’s real and what’s rumor.”

  “Fine,” Lizzy said. “Then I won’t tell her that there was this little cafe where Penelope worked. And that little cafe was where Uly and Hil played shows all the time. And that they both ended up falling in love with Penelope. Like crazy in love with her. And she played them right back, never telling them who she really was. That she didn’t just work there but her family owned the entire building. That she loved fucking with their hearts so much it ended up ruining their band. Oh, and that both Uly and Hil were tricked into buying Penelope a diamond ring… thinking they were going to run away with her and marry her…”

  I looked at Danica. “Is any of that true?”

  “I’ve heard the story many times,” Danica said. “Some parts change here and there.”

  “Like what?” I asked.

  “I heard a version where Penelope was pregnant,” Danica said. “That’s why she wanted to get married.”

  “That was a lie though,” Lizzy said.

  I stepped away from Lizzy and Danica. “So that’s the big story? They got used? The same way they use people?”

  “You don’t need to do this,” Lizzy said. “Stay here. We’ll figure something else out.”

  “You know what?” I asked. “It’s too late. I’m going to find everything out. I have enough of the story that it makes some sense… but not all. I want it all. Every dirty secret about their lives. Nothing is going to stop me.”

  Lizzy slowly sat down. She put her hand over her mouth.

  “We get it,” Danica said. “Do what you have to do. But let us help you. Or at least let me help you.”

  “How the fuck are you going to help me, Danica?”

  “You took the baseball bat, Belle. For good reason.”

  “To break some shit,” I said.

  “Then I’ll tell you where to go and how to break some shit then,” Danica said.

  “No matter what happens here, someone is going to get hurt,” Lizzy said. “I can’t watch anymore. I hate myself for bringing this up. I thought…”

  Lizzy shook her head.

  She stood up and hurried up the steps and into the house.

  A part of my heart ached for her.

  I went to bite my lip to reconsider everything… pain shot through my mouth, a reminder that my lip was swollen thanks to Tinsley and that was thanks to Them for lying to me and using me to get what they wanted.

  I curled my lip instead of biting it.

  I had the baseball bat on the backseat of my car.

  Tonight, it was going to be used to hit a home run for sure.

  * * *

  I finally gave in and smoked inside the car.

  I had to.

  Maybe it would ruin the value of the car, but whatever, it wasn’t my car. And if I was going to end up ditching BFH then I’d leave Jo with something to remember me by. The smell of cigarette smoke clinging to the interior of the six figure car that was just some car to her.

  To say everything ran through my mind was an understatement.

  This was what it all came down to.

  Breaking into Werthwood’s office to get information on Uly, Hil, and Ash.

  I pictured myself leaning against Jo’s car, watching Them approach me. In my hands were the files or folders or papers or what I could fucking find out about Them.

  They’d stand there in shock, knowing that all their secrets were mine. Everything that ever happened… Uly living through the death of his father. Living through the mess of his mother. The rumors of Miss Whitaker and his father…

  Or how about Hil?

  With his loser of a father, right? The guy that showed up every once in a while looking for money. A burned out bum that tried to convince Hil’s mother that life would be good. Or the fact that Hil wasn’t even planned. A part of me bet his mother regretted having him. And the cherry on top was that Hil pretended his father was dead.

  Then… Ash.

  I swallowed hard and my teeth chattered.

  Ash.

  My Ash.

  The one I slipped up and fell in love with.

  The truth of his parents. What really happened that led his mother to driving where she was that day when the SUV crashed. That she made sure her son escaped the SUV before it plunged off a cliff where she would end up dead.

  All of that I already knew.

  But I wanted it in writing. Or typed. Or whatever was waiting for me in that office. Just to have something like that. To hold something like that.

  To make Them feel the way I did when I saw the Rulz walk up to Tinsley. Knowing I had been set up. That they used me. Because if what Lizzy and Danica said was true, then their next step would be to lose me.

  But I was in control of that step.

  Fuck Them.

  And then there was Penelope.

  Would she be listed in the files in Werthwood’s office? Probably not. But when I got what I wanted, I would then get everything else.

  The real story.

  Because it seemed Them loved to have ten versions of a story. Which was a smart move. Nobody knew what was real from fake. And anyone who questioned real from fake would end up hurt.

  They were strong, powerful, smart… and I had fallen into that trap. I let my eyes go glossy for one fucking minute… they had got to me.

  Them.

  They got to me.

  Fuck.

  I finished my cigarette and finished my drive to BFH.

  I parked the car away from the building, just to keep my ass safe.

  In the back seat there was a really big hoodie waiting for me.

  It was one of Ash’s.

  One that I had no choice but to swipe when I was at his house. When nobody was looking, I grabbed it from the closet when it caught my eye and I tucked it in my bag. The original plan for that hoodie was to use it to tease him. To wear nothing but that hoodie - his hoodie - and drive him crazy. And I wanted something that smelled like him.

  Because I had stupidly fallen in love with him.

  I put the hoodie on and grabbed the baseball bat and was on my way.

  The word risk and stupid tangled together to make their own words as I approached the windows that made up Werthwood’s office.

  When I swung the bat… I wasn’t sure if I
’d have enough power to shatter the window. And I wasn’t sure if alarms would go off.

  BFH didn’t seem like the kind of town where it needed extra protection.

  Where I used to live… that was a whole other story. That was a place where bulletproof glass was a necessity. Where extra security was needed.

  But here?

  I stopped at the office windows and picked my target.

  I stand before you,

  Swinging my life, for the best

  I’m not so sorry

  I gritted my teeth and swung the bat against the glass.

  And holy fuck, the glass broke!

  The bat bounced back at me and I had to step back to keep my balance.

  But it worked.

  For the most part it worked.

  There was a big crack in the glass, along with the spot where the top of the bat hit hardest.

  I wound up the bat and did it again.

  And again.

  And again.

  With each swing of the bat, more glass broke. And more reasons why this was a terrible idea hit me. I was going to end up in serious trouble. This wasn’t some stupid prank. And I wasn’t some punk kid looking for trouble. This was real.

  But…

  It was already done with now.

  The window was broken.

  The office was open for me to get into.

  I carefully worked my way through the broken window. I avoided the chunks of glass on the ground and the ones attached to the window. They were like jagged teeth, ready to cut me. Warning me to just leave now.

  A broken window… it happens.

  Werthwood probably pissed off a lot of people, right?

  I stood in his office and grinned.

  “But you followed me,” I said. “Remember that? So I dare you to call the police here. Tell them what I did. So I can tell them what you did. And that you and Jo covered it up. That you were…”

  You’re insane, Belle.

  The voice of reason was right. And I was okay with it.

  Before I left Lizzy’s, Danica told me Lizzy told her that what I needed to find was in the narrow drawer where Werthwood would probably keep pens and paperclips. Under that…

  I hurried to his desk.