NOT SO Special: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  And you told her to tell me something.

  Do you remember what she said?

  ‘Ha-ha, skip work. Let’s hit the beach, baby.’

  I’m laughing now as I think about it. The fact that she always called me ‘Ha-ha’ and the way she said what you told her too. She had the same attitude as you, Shelly.

  You knew if you asked me, I’d make up an excuse.

  But little Belle, there was no way I could say no to her.

  So I called off from work and went to the beach.

  Once there, little Belle bothered you endlessly for that ice cream with the gum ball eyes.

  I snuck off and bought her the one she wanted.

  I’ll never forget it, Shelly.

  Standing there, watching her eat that ice cream. Then seeing your face. You were annoyed with me, but you appreciated it. You smiled at me.

  What a day.

  The memories just have a way of getting to a person.

  I flipped the letter over and wiped the corners of my eyes.

  I remembered that day at the beach vividly. But I did not remember Hagan being there. The story that had been told to me three hundred times was me being a pain in the ass to my mother about ice cream. And then she ended up getting me one as we were leaving because she felt bad for me.

  So many stories… and I wondered which were real and fake.

  Or the version of real my mother told me, where she purposely left out Hagan.

  I looked at another letter but didn’t read it.

  They weren’t my letters.

  But the confusion and pain in my heart was all mine to feel and explore.

  I went through some more of the pictures. Each one was more convincing than the last that Werthwood was my father. Or, at least, acting like my father.

  So this guy went from being in my life, acting like my father, to disappearing. To becoming Principal Werthwood…

  Which explained all those times he slipped calling me Belle instead of Miss Bablebit.

  That in itself was cringe worthy.

  Or the fact that he probably kept up with Miss Whitaker about my writing.

  I gasped when I realized he kept some of my writing, right?

  That day in his office… after I took care of personal business with Lila.

  I squeezed my eyes shut to make all of it go away.

  And I blanketed it all with one simple statement.

  It was all a lie.

  Simple as that.

  Everything in my life was a lie.

  My mother lied to me. Jo lied to me.

  Sarah lied to me… since somewhere in her heart she decided to fool around with Gray after what he did to me.

  Of course, Them… they lied to me.

  Ha. Ha. Ha.

  Werthwood… liar.

  Lizzy and Danica?

  I shook my head. I grabbed my phone and looked at Lizzy’s name.

  Why did you send me to Werthwood’s office like that? There were no files on Them. You knew that, didn’t you? You knew about Werthwood and my mother…

  My thumbs shook with nerves and fury.

  But… if Lizzy knew what I was going to find…

  It’s going to bother you if I don’t call you, right?

  Then again, did she do something wrong?

  My phone buzzed with a call from Danica.

  Without thinking, I answered it.

  “Hey, are you okay?” she asked.

  “Where’s Lizzy?” I asked.

  “Half passed out,” Danica said. “She got really drunk. I think she’s scared for you. She really didn’t want you to leave tonight.”

  I nodded. “Right.”

  “Belle, where are you?”

  “I’m at Jo’s,” I said. “Okay? If I’m going to figure things out, I need to start here.”

  “Did you do what you said you were going to do?”

  “You tell Lizzy to just go to sleep,” I said. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow. We’ll figure everything out then. Okay?”

  “Belle…”

  “Danica, just do that for me. One night. Just be there for both of us.”

  “You don’t sound right,” Danica said. “I’m not afraid to tell the truth.”

  “I know that. I’ve always appreciated that about you. All I’ve ever wanted is the truth. And I’m getting it.”

  “Did you get your answers?”

  “Oh, I got answers, Danica,” I said. “Just keep an eye on Lizzy. I understand why she was worried. Keep her safe.”

  “Safe?”

  I laughed. “Danica, she’s got a problem. From the second I met her, all she has wanted to do is drink. And not just drink… but…”

  “Get messed up,” Danica said.

  “Yeah. She’s lucky to have you though.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’m sitting out back of Jo’s house, thinking.”

  “I don’t like any of this,” Danica said. “There’s something Lizzy isn’t telling me. And there’s something you’re not telling me. So fuck you both for that. I hate you both for that.”

  “Goodnight, Danica,” I said.

  I ended the call and put the phone down and my hand to the pictures and letters.

  I put my head back and begged for tears.

  Tears would show emotion and emotion would help me get through everything.

  I’d have to face Hagan fucking Werthwood.

  Tomorrow.

  Or sooner.

  There was no way in hell Jo wasn’t inside the house making phone calls. There was one good thing about being rich… money really did take care of problems. I could just sit there and let Jo handle everything. She cared about me, remember? She wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me. Especially now. Knowing what I know.

  I laughed.

  Because I couldn’t cry.

  My phone buzzed on the table again.

  I sighed and looked at the screen.

  It was a picture from Uly.

  Uly?

  I opened the text and swallowed hard.

  The picture was of two guitars.

  And a hand over the top of one of the guitars.

  Hil’s hand.

  That meant Uly and Hil were together.

  That meant they were going to keep to their end of the deal…

  A song. A story.

  I closed the folder with the letters and pictures.

  Uly sent me a text.

  It’s time doll

  I nodded.

  Yeah, it’s fucking time for sure.

  sixteen

  I left Them hanging for the night.

  On purpose.

  Of course.

  It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to do at the moment, but it was what I needed to do. Soon enough, word would spread of Werthwood’s office. The rumors would catch fire faster than my heart beating near Ash. The stories would write themselves. Everything within BFH would change. I wasn’t sure what that would mean for the East vs. West fight, but I wasn’t sure I really cared.

  To me, they were all assholes.

  The Rulz? Them? Tinsley Ditkiss?

  Let everyone figure out their own shit.

  I had enough of mine to deal with.

  And speaking of it…

  It surprised me how fast I fell asleep and how deep I slept.

  I figured the night would be nothing but dreams, nightmares, questions running through my head, leaving me restless.

  But when I hit that big, comfy bed, I was done for.

  When my eyes opened, I thought at first it was maybe an hour later. Like my mind and body had fooled itself, thinking I got a lot of sleep.

  Except I really did get a lot of sleep.

  It was morning.

  It was actually time for me to get something to eat, get dressed, and go to BFH.

  I felt a weight on my chest as I forced myself to sit up in bed.

  It was going to be one hell of a day.

  That was an understatement.

&n
bsp; I felt around the bed for my phone.

  Eerily… no texts.

  It was quiet.

  Really quiet.

  I slid out of the covers and grabbed the top blanket to wrap around me. Like when I was little and used to pretend to be a princess.

  Like one of those pictures, Belle. You as a princess and Hagan fucking Werthwood on one knee in front of you…

  As I walked toward the daybed and window, the doors opened to my room.

  I figured Jo was sending me some coffee and food.

  “Morning,” Danica said as she stood in the doorway with two coffees.

  “Danica,” I said.

  “Everything’s a mess, Belle.”

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “BFH is closed today.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah. No classes. Apparently someone broke into Werthwood’s office. Shattered a window.”

  “Damn,” I said.

  “Heard a bunch of things though. Someone said it was a prank. Someone said the office was trashed. But the truth is that nothing was done. It’s like someone broke the window and then did nothing else.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “That sounds strange.”

  Danica handed me one of the coffees.

  I took a sip and let out a long sigh.

  “Belle, what’s going on?” Danica asked.

  “Where’s Lizzy?”

  “Sick.”

  “Really?”

  “No, I’m being serious,” Danica said. “She’s like sick, sick…”

  “I’m sure drinking didn’t help.”

  “At all,” Danica said.

  We stood in silence.

  I looked out the window to the ocean.

  I sipped the coffee.

  “There was nothing in that office about Them,” I said. “Nothing at all.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Danica, this is going to sound crazy… but Werthwood used to be involved with my mother. Like as in a relationship. There were pictures of him with me as a baby. I don’t remember any of it. That’s what Lizzy wanted me to find. She wanted me to break into his office… and then she suddenly didn’t want me to. I don’t get it.”

  Danica was quiet.

  I turned my head to study her face.

  She didn’t know a damn thing about the folder. The pictures. The letters.

  “I’m trying to think about what you just said,” Danica said.

  “Take your time,” I said. “I still haven’t figured it all out. That’s why I ended up here. And Jo said it’s all true. Werthwood was part of my life. And I’m sure my mother fucked that up.”

  “Is that why you ended up here?” Danica asked. “I mean, maybe this is good.”

  “Good?”

  “Belle, be real for a second,” she said. “Jo is rich and willing to help you. You have Miss Whitaker, who loves you. Who wants to help you get stuff published. And then you have Werthwood.”

  “How did she know?” I asked. “She knew what she was sending me to find. She set me up.”

  “She was trying to help,” Danica said. “That’s what that was. Just trying to help you.”

  I nodded to Danica. “Right. I didn’t want to talk to her last night. I was emotional.”

  “Understanding.”

  “And now it’s going to get worse.”

  “How?”

  “What I did…”

  “But nobody knows.”

  I laughed. “I’m sure somebody knows.”

  “So what? You have Jo. You have… us. Right? Think about it. There’s so many lawyers. And if Werthwood had pictures of you in his desk…”

  “Danica,” I said. “I know.”

  “Right,” she said. “You want me to shut the fuck up.”

  “Basically.”

  I liked Danica because she listened.

  She did shut the fuck up.

  And we stood shoulder to shoulder looking out the window at the ocean.

  I held the blanket around me like a cape with my free hand.

  I probably looked as though I were deep in thought, coming up with a plan for everything that happened.

  But I had nothing.

  I was still tired.

  And what else was there?

  Just a billion questions. And the answers… were they ever going to be real?

  “Want to hear another rumor?” Danica asked me.

  I turned my head. “How many rumors are there?”

  “It’s BFH, Belle…”

  “True.”

  “Anyway, this is a good one. There is a rumor that Werthwood was dating someone. And he broke up with this woman for another woman. And that’s why his window was broken. Can you picture that? Werthwood with enough game for two women at once?”

  I smiled. “I can’t picture any of it, Danica. Except I have pictures of him… my mother… me…”

  “I’m not even going to ask to see them,” Danica said. “I just wanted you to laugh for a second. Like imagine some scorned lover smashing up Werthwood’s office.”

  “Lover,” I said and cringed.

  “Right?”

  We both laughed.

  Danica pushed her shoulder into mine. “I’m sure Lizzy has a good reason. She honestly probably wanted you to find it out sooner to chase you away. You kept saying you wanted to leave.”

  “So it’s my fault?”

  “Fuck no,” Danica said. “I’m saying it like it is. Lizzy has always thought Ash was the hottest guy in the world.”

  Something we both can agree on.

  “So you think she did it on purpose,” I said.

  “Then, sure. But now… no. That’s why she put up a fight.”

  I nodded. “That makes sense, Danica. You should go check up on her.”

  “I know,” she said. “I just had to see you first. Jo let me in. Told me to bring you coffee. Whatever happens here, Belle, just know I’ve got your back. All the way.”

  Danica tried to turn and I grabbed her hand. “I fell in love with Ash. I really screwed up. I fell hard for him. They set me up.”

  “I get it,” Danica said.

  “I don’t want to lose Them,” I said. “How messed up is that?”

  “One thing at a time, Belle,” Danica said.

  I let her go and she walked to the door.

  Just before she started to shut the door, I called out, “There’s one more thing, Danica.”

  “What?” she asked.

  I didn’t look back at her. I carried my coffee toward the bathroom to take a hot shower.

  But there was one question I wanted her to really live with.

  “How the fuck did Lizzy know that stuff was in Werthwood’s desk?”

  * * *

  I showered then made an appearance downstairs for something to eat.

  Jo was waiting for me.

  “You have to go over there, Belle,” Jo said.

  I had a fork an inch from my mouth. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” she said. “He’s on a warpath.”

  “Good for him,” I said. “Did you tell him what I know?”

  “I had other calls to make,” Jo said. “I’m going to try my hardest to keep your ass out of the fire.”

  “Don’t bother,” I said. “It makes for a good story, Jo. What my mother did. What he did. This entire situation…”

  “Right,” Jo said. “So you and Lake Whitaker can become best friends, huh?”

  “Are you jealous of her?”

  Jo shook her head. “This is serious, Belle. What you did…”

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I said. “I’m going over to BFH after I eat breakfast. I’ll talk to Werthwood. No problem. And if he wants to do this… then let him. He had pictures of me in his desk. He had letters written to my mother that he never sent. Oh, and then there was the night he followed me. Without his headlights on. Remember that, Jo? He even thinks of putting my name near this and I’ll go after him.”

  Jo nodded. And she st
arted to grin. “You’re almost as ruthless as me.”

  “Give me a scalpel and watch what I can do to a heart,” I said.

  “Something tells me you don’t need a scalpel for that, Belle.”

  “Even better,” I said.

  “I’m really sorry about everything,” Jo said. “I wasn’t sure what your mother wanted to do. And quite honestly, I’m really pissed at her. She’s lost in her new relationship with Chester. He’s bringing her back to health.”

  “And he’ll hurt her,” I said. “I’m used to that, Jo. Right now I just want the last few answers. Then I can move on.”

  “Move on?”

  “Whatever that looks like.”

  Jo put her hands to the counter. “You know, you asked me a while ago about helping you. Start over. I said no. I said no because I didn’t want you to leave. But after all of this… you pick a spot, Belle. I’ll take care of it. If what you’ve got with Lake Whitaker is real and she believes in you, then I’ll help.”

  Jo pushed from the counter and left the kitchen.

  I had to force myself to eat after that.

  Knowing that I had the truth and freedom literally in my grasp.

  I pictured myself living in an apartment building. Preferably on the second or third floor. Right at the beach. With a balcony. Where I could drink coffee, smoke a cigarette and write.

  And do something.

  I was so close to it.

  Soon enough I could show BFH my middle fingers and leave behind a trail of truths, changes, and rumors that would grow and change throughout the years.

  But before that I needed to face BFH.

  I left the house, got into the car and tried to picture it all again.

  There was one big problem with my dream. My fantasy. My wants. My needs.

  There was one thing missing.

  I couldn’t picture it happening without Ash.

  * * *

  By the time I got to BFH there were two large trucks parked near the broken window. They were already starting to replace it.

  Which seemed so fitting, right?

  Do everything in a hurry and cover it up. Make it go away. Pretend like it never happened. Anything that went wrong in their rich world had to be fixed and fixed right fucking now. There was money and power and that made it all unstoppable.

  “Miss Bablebit.”

  I turned and saw Hagan fucking Werthwood standing there, staring at me.