NOT SO Special: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  “Put it to rest,” Ash said.

  “I walked away,” Uly said. “That was my offering. I walked the fuck away, Ash. I saw where it was going. What it did to him. So I left. I kept my distance. I wrote my own songs. Did my own thing.”

  “I know,” Ash said.

  “And Belle fixed it,” Uly said.

  “Doesn’t feel like I fixed anything,” I said. “I keep making things worse. I need to go talk to him. I need to be alone with Hil.”

  My eyes moved to Ash’s eyes.

  The amber glow told me he didn’t like it.

  Because we both knew anything could happen.

  Did I love Ash?

  Yes… I fucking loved Ash…

  But when it came to Uly and Hil there was something there too.

  Not the kind of love I felt for Ash.

  Maybe not even love at all.

  But I felt… something.

  I opened my mouth but stopped myself from saying something to Ash.

  I ran back into the cafe.

  The place smelled of dusty concrete.

  “Hil?” I called out. “Where are you?”

  My voice echoed.

  I spotted the front door and my heart sank.

  I didn’t want him to take off.

  I didn’t want him to go and do something really stupid.

  “Hil…”

  I heard the strum of a guitar.

  I dug my heels to the floor and turned to find Hil sitting on the edge of the stage with a cigarette and a guitar.

  “Another song for me?” I asked.

  Hil reached with his left hand and patted the stage.

  I sat down next to him.

  He held the guitar and smoked the cigarette.

  After way too long in silence, I reached for his shoulder and shook it.

  “Hil…”

  “You heard what I said.”

  “And now you’re pissed that I fell for Ash…”

  “Fuck no, beauty. I saw that from a mile away.”

  “You did?”

  “The day in the hallway,” Hil said with a grin. “We walked into you… well, you walked into our path…”

  “So sorry,” I said. “Didn’t realize Them had their own path.”

  “Tough lesson to learn,” he said. “Your bag hit the floor and we kept walking. Ash stopped me. He had never done that before. I didn’t even get to ask what the fuck he was doing and he was walking toward you.”

  “To step on me,” I said. “Not to flirt.”

  “Ash doesn’t flirt. Now if that was me… I’d tell you I could drop my pants faster than you dropped your bag.”

  “Or maybe that you’d spill your load faster than I spilled my bag?” I asked.

  Hil laughed. “Fuck, beauty. See? That right there. Why do you do that to my heart?”

  I swallowed hard and felt warm.

  Dammit, Hil…

  “He stole that page out of your notebook. I caught him reading it about fifteen times. That’s when I knew things were going to get fucked up. That was before I knew Uly was already involved.”

  I looked down at my feet. “You put them ahead of yourself, Hil. That means you’re a good person.”

  “Does it?”

  “It does.”

  Hil touched my chin again and made me look at him. “Here’s the deal, beauty. You tell Uly or Ash that and I will never talk to you again.”

  “Is that supposed to be a bad thing?” I whispered.

  “You can’t live without me, Belle. You know that.”

  “Can you live without me?”

  Hil inched closer to me. His lips an inch from mine. “The good news is that you don’t have to worry about my heart. Anymore. Never again. Got it?”

  “I can’t do that,” I said. “I fell for Them. All of Them.”

  “Then that’s some serious fucking trouble,” Hil said.

  “Serious trouble is if your lips touch hers,” Ash’s voice said.

  Hil grinned and kissed my cheek.

  “You’re dead,” Ash said.

  Hil laughed and stuck his cigarette between his lips and started to play guitar again.

  I jumped up and blocked Ash’s path.

  Please, no more fucking fighting for one day.

  “He kissed my cheek,” I said.

  “He can kiss my ass next,” Ash said.

  “Ash, stop,” I said. “We were talking.”

  Ash curled his lip.

  I moved to my toes and kissed him.

  “You’re such a dick,” I whispered. “I love that about you.”

  His hands grabbed my sides. “I’m never going to lose you, angel. And I’m never going to let someone else get near you.”

  “You have to make a small exception,” I said.

  “Meaning?”

  “Uly and Hil… they’re important to me.”

  “I fucking hate that,” Ash said.

  “Good,” I said. “It’ll remind you of who I am. And what I’m capable of.”

  Ash curled his lip higher. “Fuck, angel, I love you.”

  Ash lowered his mouth down to mine.

  “You’re playing that wrong, asshole.”

  I broke the kiss and turned to see Uly up on stage, staring down at Hil.

  Hil stopped playing guitar. “Yeah? You want to fucking show me how to play guitar?”

  “My pleasure, dickweed.”

  Uly grabbed his guitar and sat down on the barstool.

  He started to play some chords.

  Hil then started to play.

  But it didn’t sound good.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Uly asked.

  “Playing something,” Hil said.

  “Sounds like shit.”

  “You sound like shit.”

  “Really?” Uly asked.

  “Really,” Hil said. “Watch the fucking progression, man. You want to write a song or fucking fight?”

  “How about both?” Uly asked.

  “Deal,” Hil said. “We write a song. Then I kick your ass.”

  “Fuck you,” Uly said. “I’ll stomp on you. Prick.”

  Hil strummed his guitar.

  Uly strummed something else.

  I started to cringe but then they came together.

  And what sounded like crap was now sounding pretty good.

  Ash grabbed my hand. “Come on, angel… let them work this out…”

  I looked at Ash. “What if they fight again?”

  “They’ll never stop fighting,” Ash said. “But this is the first time I’ve seen them try to write something since…”

  Penelope.

  I nodded.

  “And it’s because of you,” Ash said. “You broke us.”

  “That means I’m deadly.”

  “That means you’re beautiful… special… you’re everything.”

  “Then address us that way, Ash,” I said with a smile. “You’re Them. I’m Everything.”

  “You’re fucking playing it wrong again, asshole,” Uly said.

  “Why don’t you put the fucking guitar down and learn,” Hil said.

  “I’ll smash this over your head…”

  “This is what they do,” Ash said. “Let’s get out of here.”

  Ash kissed me again.

  I put my hands to his chest and gently pushed him away.

  He curled his lip again.

  “Save that for later, Ash.”

  “Why, angel?”

  I curled my lip.

  “It’s my turn to go kick someone’s ass…”

  nineteen

  I leaned against the car in the middle of the driveway. The trees surrounding me gave off a beauty that was the complete opposite to the feelings inside me. I smoked two cigarettes and waited for Danica and Lizzy to show up.

  It’s time, bitch.

  All I could do was trust in what Ash told me.

  Lizzy always had fuck me eyes for Ash so it made sense that she would spill her guts to him. Which was
surprising because she usually just said something stupid or mumbled words that weren’t actually words at all.

  Of course Lizzy drove.

  She stopped her car and she and Danica both got out.

  I left the driver’s side door on Jo’s car open and had the baseball bat sort of hidden.

  My right hand grabbed it and I threw the biggest smile on my face.

  “Belle,” Lizzy said. “Are you okay? I heard so much crazy stuff. I’m so happy you texted me.”

  “Good,” I said. “And I’m okay. Strange enough, Ash tried to take the fall for me. But he didn’t have to do that. Right? It’s not like Werthwood is going to do anything to me. If he kicks me out, I’m out of his life again. Isn’t that right, Lizzy?”

  She shook her head. “Belle, we have to talk about everything…”

  “Everything?” Danica asked.

  That’s when it slapped me across the face that Danica didn’t know a thing.

  She didn’t know that Werthwood had been dating Lizzy’s mother.

  That made me go hmph in my head.

  But it didn’t make me stop from pulling the baseball bat out of the car and going after Lizzy.

  When she saw the bat, she gasped and tried to step back. She bumped her ass into the front corner of her own car. She spun around and I lifted the bat into the air.

  “Don’t move,” I ordered her.

  She put her hands out and her eyes exploded with tears.

  “Belle, what the hell are you doing?” Danica asked. “This is all a misunderstanding.”

  I looked at Danica. “You really don’t know?”

  “Know what?”

  “She doesn’t know a thing, Belle,” Lizzy said.

  I moved my eyes to Lizzy again and she was walking toward me.

  I swung the bat.

  But all I hit was air.

  Lizzy screamed and jumped back, falling to the ground.

  Danica then attacked me.

  Her arms were wrapped tight around my arms.

  “You can’t hit her,” she said. “You’ll hurt her. Are you insane?”

  “Let me go, Danica.”

  “Drop the bat first. And talk to me. Not her. Talk to me.”

  I opened my hand and the bat hit the ground.

  Danica released her hold on me.

  I pointed to Lizzy. “Don’t move.”

  “I won’t,” she said. “Let’s talk, Belle. We can figure this out.”

  I showed Lizzy my middle finger and looked at Danica.

  “If I find out you’re lying to me too, Danica…”

  “I’m not lying about anything. What the fuck is going on right now?”

  “You might want to get a drink for this,” I said.

  “You know I don’t drink,” Danica said.

  I touched her shoulder.

  “You might want to start.”

  * * *

  “Ann was sleeping with Werthwood?” Danica asked.

  Her eyes moved from me to Lizzy.

  “Tell her the truth,” I said to Lizzy.

  “Yes,” Lizzy said.

  “What?” Danica asked. “How?”

  “They just were,” Lizzy said. “And my mother was happy. She was really happy.” Lizzy slowly started to stand. She kept her hands out for good measure. “That’s the truth. I don’t know how they met and I don’t care. She was dating someone and I caught them by accident.”

  “Caught them doing what?” Danica asked.

  “Do you really want to know?” Lizzy asked.

  “Gross,” I whispered.

  “They were happy together,” Lizzy said. “We all were. He was good to her. For her. He took care of her. I never saw my mother like that…”

  “And that made it okay to do what you did to me?” I asked. “How did you know?”

  “Wait a fucking minute,” Danica asked. “You knew what Belle was going to find in his desk. You wanted her to see that… to freak out… to leave… what would that do?”

  Lizzy shook her head. “I don’t know. She was so tied up in Them. It seemed like the easy thing to do, okay? I thought if she found out the truth, she’d panic and leave. Then Werthwood would realize he fucked up.”

  “And go back to your mother,” I said. “Right?”

  “Is that true?” Danica asked. “Is that what you were thinking?”

  “Right?” I yelled at Lizzy.

  “Yes!” she yelled. “Fucking yes!”

  I lunged toward Lizzy and slapped her across the face.

  She let out another cry and grabbed her face.

  “Belle,” Danica said. “Stop. I’m not done…”

  I looked back at her. “You’re not done? Excuse me?”

  “I want the whole story,” Danica said. “My turn for a fucking story for once.”

  Lizzy rubbed her cheek. “What else is there to say?”

  “Let me think this out,” Danica said. “You knew this all along, right? You knew that Werthwood had those letters… how?”

  Lizzy looked down. “He told my mother everything.”

  “About me?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Lizzy said.

  “Fuck,” I said.

  “My mother was heartbroken,” Lizzy said. “Okay? And Werthwood was so fucking honest.”

  “Stop,” I said. “You knew before that.”

  “Quit lying,” Danica said.

  “I went through his stuff,” Lizzy said. “His desk. Okay? When they started dating, it was too good to be true. And it was right after you showed up, Belle. There was this sudden change in everything. The way he was acting. It was all different.”

  “You broke into his office?” Danica asked.

  “No,” Lizzy said. “Or…. yes. I did. But not the way Belle did. I just went in.”

  “And it was all in the fucking drawer,” I said.

  “I found it all,” Lizzy said. “And I just figured you were here for that reason.”

  “What reason?” I asked.

  “To get him back with your mother,” Lizzy said.

  “You were my friend, Lizzy. I told you things about my mother.”

  “I know!” Lizzy yelled. Her eyes filled with tears again. “I know… and that’s why I tried to get you to stop. To not break into the office.”

  “You used her,” Danica said. “You used her feelings for Them…”

  “Yes,” Lizzy said. “Okay? That’s exactly what I did. I thought at the time she was a backstabbing bitch. I could feel Werthwood pulling away from my mother. And my mother didn’t notice or just tried to ignore it. Whatever it was, it was bullshit.”

  “You’re bullshit, Lizzy,” I said.

  “But look at what you got,” Lizzy said. “You got all of the truth. You saw who Them really are They set you up. They hurt you. And then you got the truth about your mother and your past. And what did I get? Nothing. My mother is hurt. Werthwood is hung up on your mother. And now I lost you as a friend.”

  “Don’t play the pity party,” I said. “You did this to yourself. You know what? I’m fucking done.”

  “Belle, please,” Lizzy said.

  I reached for the bat and Danica put her foot on it.

  “No,” she said to me.

  “Fuck you too then,” I said to her.

  I walked to my car and got inside.

  As I put the car into reverse, Danica picked up the baseball bat.

  “What the…”

  Danica swung the bat and smashed Lizzy’s front headlight.

  I gasped but didn’t open the car door.

  Lizzy covered her mouth and stared at the broken light.

  Then Danica lifted the bat into the air.

  “Shit, shit, shit,” I whispered.

  When Lizzy realized what Danica was doing, she fell to her knees.

  Danica lowered the bat and held it with her left hand.

  Something was said between the two.

  And then Danica swung and punched Lizzy right in the jaw.

 
Lizzy fell back to the ground and hurried to crawl to her car.

  In a matter of five seconds, Lizzy was backing down the driveway to get away.

  Danica turned and walked toward Jo’s car.

  She opened the passenger door and put the baseball bat on the backseat.

  She got into the car and slammed the door.

  “You fucking hit her,” I said.

  “She deserved it,” Danica said. “Backstabbing cunt. She’s been that way as long as I’ve known her. She’s done bad shit before. But this was fucked up. Okay? Really fucked up.”

  “Why do you think I brought a baseball bat?” I asked.

  Danica looked at me. “My home life isn’t all that exciting, Belle. My parents have cheated on each other. Hate each other. Do everything to hurt each other. Leave me in the middle of their fights. Saying they’re going to leave but never do. They tell me stories about one another. Trying to convince me one or the other isn’t my mother or father. I forced them to take fucking DNA tests to prove it. Okay? So… you want to spread rumors about me at BFH? Want to ruin relationships and friendships? Steal a boyfriend or two? Whatever. But what she did to you…”

  When Danica’s voice cracked, I leaned across the car to hug her.

  I’m the one fucked over and I’m the one hugging her…

  Because Danica never got a chance to let it all out.

  So I sat there and let her have her moment.

  To cry.

  To know that Lizzy was just a bad person.

  Which sucked for both of us.

  More for Danica because she and Lizzy were friends much longer than I was.

  “Hey, Belle,” Danica whispered.

  I broke our hug and forced a smile. “Talk to me.”

  “I think I need something to drink.”

  * * *

  We sat in the cove together, laughing like fools.

  I had yet to see Danica drink and there was a little worry about her doing so, but I remembered why she chose not to. And that situation would never happen here. She was safe at Jo’s house. And she could crash in my room. Or pick some other room.

  The house was fucking big enough.

  Right?

  The neon lights glowed and changed colors every few seconds.

  The rushing of the water from the waterfall made everything seem even more peaceful.

  It was perfect.

  All things considered…

  “What are you going to do?” Danica asked.

  I looked at her and realized the conversation was about to take a serious turn.