Unspeakable (Freedom Series Book 1)

by Michelle Pickett

  His deep—just throaty enough to be sexy—voice grabbed my attention. “Oh, sorry,” I said with a wave of my hand. “I was visualizing duct tape across your mouth.”

  His smile widened. “First, you tell me to shut up in class and now you want to duct tape my mouth. I’m beginning to think you don’t like my conversational skills. If I wasn’t so confident and didn’t have a healthy sense of self-esteem, it could really hurt.” He put his hands over his heart.

  I shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t mind that you’re talking as long as you don’t mind that I’m not listening.” Putting my money in the machine, I made my purchase and walked away. I heard him chuckle behind me. I couldn’t help but smile on my way to my seat.

  Wait… when did trading jabs with him go from dislike to mildly funny?

  “What are you grinning about?” Jenna asked me when I sat down across from her and next to Jaden.

  “Nothin’,” I said too quickly, looking at her over the rim of my drink.

  “Uh-huh.” She smiled at me before looking across the room at Brody. Seconds later, my phone chimed.

  Jenna: He’s looking at you.

  Me: He’s not and I don’t care.

  Jenna: Yes, he is and yes, you do.

  Me: Ugh!

  Friday—biology lab. I hated biology labs. I never had a partner, so I had to do double the work. Now Brody was my partner, and I wasn’t sure if labs would be any easier or not. I’d have a partner, but it wasn’t one I particularly liked. Right? Right. I definitely didn’t like him. He was a player. A conceited, self-absorbed bad boy. But… we’d been trading insults back and forth all week and somewhere in there they went from “I hate you” to “you might be tolerable.”

  He called me a bimbo. He’s definitely not a person I’m going to be friends, or anything else, with. We’ll do the assignment and that’s it.

  Standing at my closet, I looked through my dozens of shirts to pick out my thought for the day. I loved T-shirts with sayings on them. I usually bought one every time I went to the mall or one of those weird magazines came in the mail with pages and pages full of them. I had a closet full. It didn’t matter what my mood was, I had a shirt to match it. Grabbing a long-sleeved T-shirt, I slipped it on with my jeans. I finished my hair and makeup and drove to school.

  “Willow, you’re gonna have to wear a regular shirt one of these days, you know?” Jenna said when she saw me shoving my stuff in my locker.

  “Nah, I have dozens of these. I bet I can go six weeks without wearing the same one twice.”

  “Let’s not try it. Be normal. Wear something without a sarcastic comment plastered across your boobs.” She grabbed my arm to turn me around and I flinched, sucking a sharp breath through my teeth. Jenna jerked her hand back and looked at me with wide eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just fell and hit my arm against the porch steps. It’s nothing.” Jenna narrowed her eyes at me, but she kept her thoughts to herself. “Anyway,” I continued, “I’m dating Jaden and I’m around Brody all day. I have to let out my sarcasm somehow. So I use my shirts.” I threw up one arm and let it slap against my thigh.

  “Oh, so dramatic this morning.” Jenna rolled her eyes. “You must have doubled up on the caffeine when you drove through Starbucks,” she said with a laugh.

  I smiled and grabbed my books. “See you in history.”

  I got to biology before Brody so I grabbed the microscope and slide set we’d need for our lab, starting to set it up. I smelled him as soon as he slipped into his seat beside me.

  “Hi Brody,” I said, not looking up.

  “How’d you know it was me?”

  I felt a blush crawl across my cheeks. “I smelled you,” I said quietly.

  “What are you, a cocker spaniel?”

  I looked up and shrugged a shoulder. “You wear the same cologne every day.”

  “And you wear the same kind of T-shirt every day. What does today’s say?” I turned so he could read it. “Huh. ‘If you knew what I was thinking, you wouldn’t be smiling.’ Interesting. And what are you thinking, Willow?” He braced one hand on the table, his other on the back of my chair, and leaned in to me.

  That I love how my name rolls off your tongue in that low voice that you seem to only use when you’re talking to me—half whisper, husky and smooth at the same time. That it confuses me that, all of a sudden, I’ve gone from hating you to being intrigued by you. That I want to scream and cry that I have this secret hanging over my head, ruining my life, because I want you, not Jaden.

  “Hmm?” he whispered, leaning closer to me, and I realized I’d been staring at him too long.

  “I’d love to explain all my thoughts to you, Brody, but I don’t have any crayons,” I said finally, giving him a small smile.

  He grinned and turned to the equipment I’d laid out for our lab. “Good to go?”

  I nodded, and we got started on the lab. We didn’t talk the rest of the class period other than what was needed to complete the assignment. There was an uncomfortable vibe between us. Each time our hands or arms would brush against each other when we reached for a slide or turned a page in the textbook, goose bumps would break out over my skin. I was thankful I’d worn a long-sleeved shirt so he couldn’t see. I was having a hard enough time hiding my shaking hands, and my voice that seemed way to breathy and soft. He seemed completely unaffected, naturally.

  I’m such a fool. What am I doing? I can’t fall for him. I’m with Jaden. Jaden who, with just a few words, could destroy everything.

  Jaden always liked an audience. He was the captain of the football team, after all. He thrived on attention.

  We were sitting at a table in the school cafeteria, Jenna, Tim, and I, along with Jaden and his dumbass friends from the football team. I never took the time to learn their names since they didn’t bother to call me anything but ‘Jaden’s girl.’

  “It’s an away game tonight,” Jaden told me.

  I speared a piece of cucumber in my salad and inspected it. “I know,” I answered.

  “Hi, Willow,” some friends from class called as they walked by.

  I smiled and waved. “Hi, guys!” That was when I saw him.

  Oh please, please don’t say anything. Just keep walking, Brody. Don’t say anything, don’t stop, and don’t wave.

  “Hey, Willow. See you in class.” Brody raised his hand as he walked by.

  “What the hell?” Jaden yelled.

  “It’s nothing. Leave it alone.” I put my hand on Jaden’s arm, trying to divert his attention.

  “The hell I’ll leave it alone.” He threw my hand off. My injured arm hit the edge of the table. I gritted my teeth and grabbed it, holding it to my side. “What’s going on between you two?” he yelled, standing up.

  Brody’s face registered surprise and then anger. I looked at him and shook my head, pleading with my eyes for him to leave it alone. Brody looked between Jaden and me. “Are you okay?” he asked me. Brody looked at where I held my arm and raised an eyebrow.

  “You don’t need to worry about her,” Jaden shouted. He reached out and shoved Brody’s shoulder.

  Brody looked down where Jaden’s hand had been. I prayed he would walk away. Then I saw his hands ball into fists.

  Oh, crap. Crap. Crap.

  Brody took a step forward. I stood up so fast my chair flew backward, hitting the floor with a clang. Jenna reached out for my arm.

  “Willow, stay out of it!” she called.

  I reached out and grabbed Jaden’s arm. It was rigid. I looked at Brody. A vein pulsed in the side of his neck.

  “You’re messing with the wrong girl, Victor,” Jaden said through clenched teeth.

  “I think Willow can make up her mind who she wants to be friends with without asking your permission.”

  Jaden took a step toward him. Brody stood his ground.

  Oh, this can’t happen. Back down, Brody, please.

  “No! Jaden!” I stepped in front of him. “Stop it!” He
pushed me out of the way with one arm, like a windshield wiper swiping a bug away. I stumbled backward. One of his friends reached for me. I ducked under his arm and ran in between the two testosterone-filled idiots who insisted on fighting with all the ‘B’ lunch students watching.

  “Stop! Brody, just go.” I looked over my shoulder. “Please.”

  “Yeah, Victor, run along.” Jaden twiddled his fingers at Brody.

  “Jaden, stop it!” I yelled. “I’m freakin’ fed up with your crap!”

  “Watch your mouth, Willow.” Jaden moved his arm, and I flinched away.

  Brody reached out, pulling me against him. “Don’t raise your hand to her. You hit her, and I will end you. Make no mistake about that,” he said quietly. His hand around my arm, he walked out of the cafeteria, pulling me with him.

  “I expect you to be home tonight, Willow. If you’re not at the game, you’re home,” Jaden yelled after us. “We’ll finish this later, Willow.”

  “Great,” I groaned, trying to pull away from Brody. “What are you doing?” I yanked my arm away and turned back to the cafeteria.

  “Where are you going?” he asked.

  “Back inside.”

  Brody stepped in front of me. “What? Why? He was going to hit you!”

  “He wasn’t going to hit me.” I tried to step around him.

  “He pushed you against the table!”

  I shook my head, looking at the floor. “Not intentionally.”

  Brody blocked the door to the cafeteria. “Don’t go back in there—”

  “Don’t you see you’ve just made things worse by dragging me out of there?” I yelled. “He’s gonna see it as an embarrassment in front of his friends, and I’m the one who’s gonna pay for it! So thanks for your help. I know you meant well, but just stay the hell out of it!”

  Breathe. Just breathe

  Saturday night, Jaden and I were at The Dive. As usual, it was packed with people from school, most I knew, but some were just familiar faces. We said our hellos as we walked to the back where the quiet tables were. I saw him almost instantly when we walked in. It was as if my eyes sought him out and once they found him, they wouldn’t let him go. We hadn’t spoken since our conversation in the hall outside the cafeteria, not even in class. I tried not to look at him. If Jaden saw me glance in Brody’s direction, it would start another scene like the one in the cafeteria, so I kept my gaze on the floor and let Jaden pull me through the crowd.

  When we walked by his table, I couldn’t help raising my eyes just for a second. Our eyes met and butterflies swirled in my stomach, a feeling I hadn’t had with Jaden in months. I tried to push that thought from my head as I forced my eyes away from his.

  We sat at a table in the very back of the restaurant. The waitress came over to take our drink orders.

  “We’re ready to order,” Jaden said.

  “Okay, go ahead.”

  “I’ll have a Coke, a Big Splash Burger with everything, and a side of fries. She’ll have a Coke and the Mini Splash Burger, no pickles, no onions, extra cheese. And a side of fries.”

  “Mustard, ketchup, mayo?” the waitress asked.

  “Mayo on both,” Jaden answered, handing the menus to the waitress.

  Ugh. I hate it when he orders for me. I can order my own damn food. And I hate mayo. How can he not know that by now? And I want a stinkin’ order of onion rings. Onion rings!

  “Did you like the movie, Jaden?” I asked, trying to divert his attention from our waitress’ ass.

  “Yeah, it was okay.”

  Okay? I just sat through two hours of bombs blowing up, appendages flying off, blood and gore splattering everywhere, all of which would have been fine if there had been a plot, and all he says is it was okay? Great. Lovely.

  “Did you like it?” he asked, not looking at me.

  “Yeah. Loved it, especially the part where the guy was wandering around, looking for his arms. That was classic.”

  “Yeah.” He laughed. “That was great.”

  Note to self— sarcasm is ineffective on Jaden.

  “I need to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.” Sliding out of the booth, I turned to the restrooms, catching a glimpse of Brody and his date.

  Brody’s dating Kara? I know her. She’s nice. They’re sharing an ice cream sundae. How sickening sweet can you get? Ugh… I’m totally jealous. Oh. Kill. Me. Now. I can’t be jealous. I’m with Jaden. Jealous, possessive, overbearing Jaden.

  Walking down the small hallway where the restrooms were located, I pushed through the door into the ladies’ room. I didn’t need the restroom. I just wanted a minute alone. Bracing my hands on either side of the sink, I stared at myself in the mirror.

  How did this happen? What did I do to get here? This is my life, but I don’t remember making the decisions that brought me here. If she hadn’t done it… but she did… and now we’re both screwed. Suck it up. Stop whining.

  After washing my hands, I checked my makeup before pulling the door open to leave. I froze when I stepped into the small hallway. I’d never realized how small it was until I was standing there with him. He filled it, not only with his body, but also with his very presence. Butterflies swarmed my stomach.

  “Hey.” He gave me a small grin.

  “Hey, Ace.”

  “I just wanted to check on you after yesterday in the cafeteria. You okay?” Brody asked, his eyes searching mine.

  “Yes. Thanks.” I started to walk away, but stopped and turned to look at him. “And thanks for yesterday. I know you were trying to help.”

  He nodded once and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

  I smiled and walked back to my table, trying to put Brody Victor out of my head.

  Jaden and I ate our dinner. Then he left me alone in the booth to visit with every football teammate that came through the restaurant. Thankfully, I’d brought my e-reader with me. But there was a time if I’d brought it with me, it would’ve stayed, unused, in my purse.

  “How’s your hamburger? I’m sorry I got mayo. I’ll remember next time not to order yours with mayo.” Jaden reached across the booth and caressed my fingers with the pad of his thumb.

  I took a sip of Coke and tilted my head to the side. “It’s good. Even with the mayo.” I grinned.

  Jaden’s fingers moved over my hand, drawing invisible circles on my skin. His blue eyes stared into mine.

  I took another sip of my Coke, chewing on the end of my straw. “What?” I asked when he continued to stare.

  “I just like to look at the prettiest girl here.”

  He opened his mouth to say more when he was interrupted by three guys from the football team. They pushed their way into the booth with us. One next to Jaden, and two next to me. I was flattened against the wall to make room for them.

  “Hey, bro, what’s going on?” one of the guys asked.

  Jaden’s jaw worked, and I saw his pulse beating in a vein bulging on his neck. “Kind of on a date.”

  “Oh. Sweet,” one of the other stinky guys said. They smelled like they’d just walked off the field after hours of football practice and forgot to put on deodorant. I was gasping for fresh air where I was trapped between the wall and the armpit of one guy. “You wanna hang?”

  “Did you not just hear me? I’m on a freakin’ date. And you weren’t invited. So there’s the door.” Jaden jerked his thumb toward the front of the restaurant.

  “Whoa! My man, Jaden. You must be getting some happy-happy if you don’t wanna hang with your dawgs. That’s cool. We’ll catch ya on the flip.”

  The three guys eased out of the booth and said their goodbyes. I watched Jaden’s eyes track them as they made their way from table to table, laughing and joking with other guys from the football team.

  I squeezed Jaden’s fingers. “Do you want to go say hi to your football friends?”

  Jaden turned to me and smiled, his dimples winking at me. “Now why would I want to spend time with them when I have you? I’m with them
all the time. They’re crude, rude, and stink. You’re sexy, smart, and smell good. I’m definitely happier here.”

  I sighed at the memory and flipped on my reader. By the time Jaden took me home, I’d read three chapters. Three very long chapters.

  Jaden pulled in my driveway and put the car in park. He leaned over the console and kissed me gently, cupping my cheek in his hand. He took the kiss deeper, skimming his hand down my side, gripping my hip and pulling me closer to him to trail kisses down my neck and across my chest.

  “Willow!”

  Breathe. Breathe. I’m fine. I’m strong. Breathe.

  “Get your ass in the house now!”

  Jaden let go of me with a frustrated groan. “I’ll text you later.”

  “Okay. Thanks for tonight.”

  “Sure.” As soon as I got out of the car, he pulled out of the driveway and drove away.

  I hurried to the house. “Hi, Mom.”

  “Hi, honey. You know how I feel about you and Jaden sitting in the car making out.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “Did you have a good time?” She smoothed my hair from my face, a lit cigarette dangling from her lips.

  “It was okay.” I shrugged a shoulder.

  She took a long drag on her cigarette and blew the smoke out of the side of her mouth. Looking at the floor, she nodded. “He isn’t the catch everyone thinks he is, is he?”

  “He’s okay. I mean, you know. He’s good.” I kissed my mom on the cheek. “I’m really tired. I’ll see you in the morning.” I climbed the stairs to my room and eased the door closed behind me, clicking the lock in place.

  Breathe. You’re home. Just breathe.

  Heading into my bathroom, I washed my face and brushed my teeth for bed. I changed into a pair of pajama pants. I slipped out of my shirt and looked at the bruising on my arm and shoulder. It was deep shades of purple and black. I let out a breath and pulled my sweatshirt on over my head, trying not to move my arm any more than I had to. Popping two painkillers, I went into my bedroom and crawled in bed.

  I’d just turned the light out when my cell phone chimed. I thought about ignoring it, but if it were Jaden, he’d have a fit if he thought I was ignoring his messages. With a frustrated groan, I grabbed the phone off its charger and pressed the message button.