Unspeakable (Freedom Series Book 1)

by Michelle Pickett

  He stood behind me and placed his hands gently over my eyes. “You could’ve just told me to close my eyes.”

  “You’d peek. Step up and over and bend down. Good.”

  I could tell I was standing in the tent. The air was warmer and smelled sweeter. Brody let his hands fall from my eyes. I blinked and looked around, taking everything in. “This was what you were doing today when you said you were running errands?”

  “Yes. You like it?”

  I looked around, trying to find the right words to tell him exactly what I felt. ‘Like’ didn’t cover the jumble of emotions I was feeling. There was so much more to them than that.

  I stood in the middle of a two-room, green canvas tent. The ceiling had clear twinkle lights—the kind you’d find at Christmastime—draped everywhere. It was covered. There was a small table next to me where Brody had put our pizza. A vase of fresh flowers and a candle sat in the middle of the table. I peeked in the second room, and there was a blow-up mattress covered in pillows on the floor in front of a small television and DVD player. More lights sparkled from the ceiling.

  “I thought since we wouldn’t be able to see the stars, I’d make some for us to look at…” His voice trailed off.

  “It’s beautiful. I just…” I shook my head, still looking at everything he’d done. All the little details he’d thought to include. “I can’t believe you did this.”

  “I had some help. My aunt’s boyfriend helped me set-up a lot of it. This is his tent and generator. He said there was only one rule.”

  “What’s that?” I turned to Brody.

  He smirked and ducked his head, looking at me through his dark lashes. “You’d better not come back pregnant.”

  “Huh.” I wasn’t sure what to say to that so I said the first thing that popped into my head, which was never a good idea. “Kind of hard since we haven’t even kissed yet.”

  “Not impossible, though.”

  “Hmm, true.” I looked at him and gave him a small smile. “Let’s eat before the pizza gets cold.”

  “Okay.” Brody pulled my chair out for me, and I sat at the small table. He sat next to me, rather than across from me. Our thighs brushed against each other whenever we moved. Every so often, Brody would run his hand up my arm and over my bare shoulder, sending waves of tingles through my veins. It made talking, at least coherently, very difficult.

  When we’d finished eating, he asked if I wanted to watch a movie.

  “You said you didn’t bring the DVD player,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

  “No, I think I said I didn’t bring the little one. This is a different player.”

  “Technicality, Ace. Sure, a movie sounds great. What did you bring?”

  “A horror film.”

  I laughed. “Really? But it’s not dark out. Doesn’t that kill some of the scare factor?”

  “Nah, it’s a gloomy and rainy day. You’ll still get freaked out and end up with your face pressed against my chest through the whole movie.” He bit his lower lip to keep from grinning.

  That’s not a bad place to be.

  The movie was scary, and Brody was right. I either had my head turned into his shoulder or the blanket over my eyes.

  A tense scene was playing. The murderer was stalking his prey and I had my face pressed against Brody, watching the movie with one eye. My hand was fisted in the blanket, and adrenaline was building in my blood stream as I waited for the inevitable moment when the psycho killer jumped out of the shadows. A bolt of lightning arced across the sky outside followed by a loud boom of thunder. I jumped and screamed. Brody laughed.

  “That wasn’t funny.” I pushed his arm.

  “Yes, it was.” He laughed harder.

  I pursed my lips to keep from grinning and flopped backward on the mattress, trying to get my heart to stop racing.

  “Aw, come on, you know you love me,” Brody said, rolling to the side so he was leaning over me.

  My grin disappeared and a shiver ran up my spine. Brody looked down at me, his expression serious, a look of vulnerability and questioning in his eyes.

  My hands gripped his arms, squeezing them in a silent answer. My gaze never left his. I wanted him to kiss me, ached for him to. He was so close. His eyes darkened. I could see the striations of blue in his eyes, feel the heat from his skin singeing mine, and feel his heartbeat, fast and strong, its rhythm keeping time my own.

  Dipping his head forward, he slid his lips across mine. He pulled back and looked into my eyes. I raised one hand to rest on his shoulder, the fingers of my other skimming over his bottom lip. His tongue darted out, touching their tips. I pulled in a sharp breath and moved my hand to cup his face.

  “Brody.” It was barely a whisper, but it was all the answer he needed.

  He lowered himself to me. Leaning on his forearms, he cradled my head in his hands. He kissed me like no one had before. There was so much tenderness, yearning, and emotion held in his kiss. I’d never felt so complete, so at peace, as I did in his arms.

  “I’ve waited so long to do that,” he murmured against my lips. “You taste so good.”

  I made a sound deep in my throat, something between a moan and a sigh, and arched toward him, urging him to take our kiss deeper. I was mesmerized by him, his touch, his smell, and now his taste. My body craved them all and soaked up as much as it could hold, and still it wanted more.

  His tongue dipped into my mouth, sliding against my own. Exploring, teasing, tasting. It was heady and blissful. Fingers of desire spread through me, warming parts of my body that had never felt a lover’s touch. And I realized it was because I was never touched by a lover. A guy, yes. A lover, no. Brody’s touch conjured up emotions I didn’t realize I possessed. I liked him. I lusted after him. And I knew with certainty, I loved him. And my body knew it and reacted to it.

  I slipped my hands under his T-shirt, sliding them across the muscular planes of his back, running my fingernails over his skin. He broke our kiss long enough to reach behind his neck and pull off his shirt in that sexy way only guys can do. My hands roamed freely over his skin, his chest, back, arms, pulling a groan from deep inside him.

  Then his hands were on me. He rolled us over so I was straddling him and slid his hands under my sweater, skimming my bare belly. My body sizzled with longing. He pulled sensations from me I’d never felt, never knew existed. I heard noises, muffled moans and whimpers, and realized they were from me. I had the fleeting thought I should be embarrassed by my complete lack of control, but when it came to Brody, there was no such thing as control.

  His hands moved higher, skimming up my sides, across my chest, between my breasts. I sighed his name and he slipped my sweater above my head, tossing it on the floor next to his. He rolled and was above me again, kissing every part of me, and I returned them. Our hands roamed everywhere our mouths touched. I let my hand skim down his rippled stomach to the button of his low-slung jeans. I pushed the button through its hole and his hand covered mine.

  “No,” he said, his breath coming in gasps. “Pants stay on.” I looked at him through the haze of desire. “I won’t be able to stop.” He shook his head. “I didn’t bring you out here to—”

  My mouth covered his. My tongue slipped between his lips. I pulled back just enough to suck his bottom lip into my mouth, nipping at it. He took the kiss deeper; it was as if he were consuming me.

  And I wanted him to.

  We’d kept our make-out session going for almost an hour before Brody cursed and rolled away from me.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked, confused and worried I’d done something wrong.

  “I have to stop now, Willow. If I don’t, I won’t.”

  “Oh.” At first, disappointment filled me, and then an air of satisfaction. I’d done that to him. I’d driven him to the brink. That knowledge was almost as delicious as his kisses. Almost.

  I lay on my back in just my bra and jeans, looking at the lights twinkling above us. Brody was shirtless on his
side next to me, drawing slow circles on my skin.

  “Brody, why did it take you so long to kiss me?”

  “Because I knew once I started, I wouldn’t want to stop, and I didn’t want our first kiss somewhere meaningless, like in the school parking lot. I wanted it to be something special. And building up to, forcing myself to wait, made it more awesome than I thought it’d be.”

  I smiled. “Yeah, it was freakin’ awesome.”

  Brody chuckled, leaned his head forward, and kissed my belly.

  “What are you doing after graduation?” I asked.

  “College.”

  “Where?”

  Brody’s hand stilled. He flattened it, splaying his fingers over my belly. “University of Michigan.”

  It felt like someone sat on my chest. It was hard to breathe, and I could barely get my next words out. “It’s a long way from California.”

  His hand started moving again. “I know,” he murmured.

  Tears formed in my eyes and dripped from their corners into my hair spread around my head. I didn’t move to wipe them away. I didn’t want to draw attention to them, hoping they’d stop before Brody saw. I swallowed back the cries my body fought to release, trying to hold still so my shoulders didn’t shake and give me away.

  It had been an amazing night. And although no one was perfect, Brody was damn near. We were perfect together, but I was scared. Scared about what would happen to us when I left for UCLA and he stayed behind in Michigan. For the first time, I found myself not wishing for graduation. Until that point, it couldn’t come fast enough. But realizing I’d be leaving Brody—and I had to leave Michigan—it seemed like the worst day imaginable.

  Brody reached up and caught a tear on his fingertip before kissing my eyes, then my mouth. His kiss, so gentle, always gentle, made me cry harder.

  “What will happen to us after graduation?” I asked, my voice trembling. My bottom lip started to quiver, and I bit down on it.

  “We’ll be fine.” He placed open-mouthed kisses on my stomach and worked his way up to the space in front of my ear. “I need to tell you something, but I don’t want to freak you out,” he murmured.

  “What?” I held my breath. I had a strange feeling I wasn’t going to like what he was about to say, and I wanted to tell him to stop. To not tell me, that I didn’t want to hear. But I kept silent.

  He pulled back and gazed in to my eyes. “I know we’ve only been dating for a day,” he said with a small laugh. “But we’ve known each other longer. We’ve spent time together talking and learning things about each other.”

  “Yes,” I said slowly.

  He kissed me, his tongue dipping into my mouth. When he lifted his head, his gaze found mine. “I’m in love with you, Willow. I know it seems crazy and it’s probably way too fast but—”

  “I love you, too, Ace.”

  Brody let out a breath and grinned at me before leaning in for another kiss.

  The night Brody and I spent in the tent made our relationship even stronger. We knew we loved each other and belonged together.

  We were nearly inseparable. We spent every free second together. It didn’t matter what we did, as long as we were together. I’d even started going with him to work at his aunt’s bar. Aunt Bess joked that she was going to put me on the payroll.

  “No, being with Brody is enough,” I told her.

  “Oh, girlie, you’ve got it bad for him, don’tcha?” she asked, hugging me. “Good thing he’s a good kid and he loves you, too. I see it in the way he looks at you when you aren’t looking. He can’t keep his eyes to himself, that one.” She smiled and kissed my cheek.

  Each week after that, there was always an envelope in the payroll bin with my name on it. Inside was a check. On the bottom, she’d write the same thing: This is for all the work you do here and all the happiness you bring. Thank you.

  I opened a savings account and deposited my paychecks each week. I didn’t spend a cent of the money. It wasn’t because I was going to give it back. That would’ve offended Aunt Bess. No, I was creating a travel fund. If Brody and I were going to live apart throughout college, I wanted to see him as often as possible. The money I earned working at Bess’s was for Brody to travel to California. I didn’t know how long it would last, but it would be good for at least a couple of trips and that was better than none. It had to be.

  “I want to do something for Aunt Bess.”

  We were at Bess’s rinsing dishes off before loading them in the washer. Brody looked at me. “Like what?” He flicked his finger, sending soap bubbles through the air at me.

  “Stop playing or I’ll make you do this alone.” I tried to give him a stern look, but laughed when he shot more soap at me. “I don’t know. What does she like?”

  “White chocolate and almond candy bars, but she never buys them because they cost three dollars and she says that’s too much money for a stinkin’ candy bar.” He mimicked her voice, and I laughed.

  Magically, a white chocolate and almond candy bar appeared on her desk each Monday. If she knew it was me who put them there, she never said. But she’d always break off a square and hand it to me. There was only one problem. I’d become addicted to the candy bars too.

  Brody’s mother was another constant in our relationship. I’d grown to love her. Anne was the type of mother every teenager wished for. She respected Brody’s need for privacy, but still had firm boundaries in place.

  Most of all, she accepted me as part of her family, calling me the daughter she knew she’d have one day.

  My mom and Ralph still didn’t know about Brody. It bothered him that he wouldn’t be accepted into my family like his had accepted me. It broke my heart and I wanted to scream at Ralph and my mother, but knew I was better off keeping my mouth shut.

  If they’d found out about Brody and me, they would’ve done everything in their power to end our relationship. Jaden was their pick. He always would be.

  Brody and I had just finished Sunday dinner with Anne. I put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher when Brody asked if I wanted to take a drive with him.

  “Sure. Where are we going?”

  He shrugged a shoulder and grinned at me.

  I knew where he wanted to go. Our spot. The one on his aunt’s property to look at the stars together. We went there at least once a week. The tent and generator were long gone, so we took a blanket to lie on. The night sky calmed him, whether from a long week of exams, too much homework, or the stress of constantly seeing Jaden in the halls at school. He’d go to the little spot on the field and watch the night sky. I’d been the only one he’d ever taken with him. He said, “You get it,” and he was right. I understood.

  Some nights we’d go and lie on the blanket, holding hands and talking quietly, and sometimes we’d go and not say anything at all, just hold hands and look at the sparkling sky. That night, I had something I needed to talk to him about.

  “Brody? I need to tell you something.” I rolled on to my side so I could look at him. “You know how Ralph owns the car lot?”

  “Yeah.” He turned his head toward me.

  “Well, he’s been out of town a lot the past month, and he’ll probably be out of town most of next month, too. He wants to add on to his business, so he’s spending time researching and visiting different car lots and looking at properties where he might build one.”

  “Okay, what does that have to do with us?” Brody rolled to his side and laid his hand on my hip.

  “I told my mom I broke up with Jaden and that I’ve been dating someone else,” I said in a rush.

  Brody tensed. “What’d she say?”

  “Not much. She said if it made me happy, she’s okay with it.” Brody’s hand tightened on my hip. “She never liked Jaden quite as much as Ralph. I think she saw his domineering side one too many times, even though he tried to hide it. She wants to meet you.”

  Brody stiffened next to me. “What about Ralph?”

  “We’ll do it on a day he’s
out of town. She agrees that we shouldn’t tell him for a while. He’s still hung up on Jaden. They act like they’re the ones dating.” I rolled my eyes.

  Brody laughed. “When does she want to meet?”

  “Tomorrow. Dinner at my house.”

  “I’ll be there.” He smiled at me before pulling me toward him for a kiss, and then another, and another, and another. My head spun and my stomach filled with butterflies. It was intoxicating.

  Brody rang the doorbell at precisely five o’clock the next afternoon. I’d warned him not to come early. My mother hated that. I couldn’t count the number of times I’d heard her complain, “If I invite someone over at five, I don’t want them showing up at four.” So when Brody was neither early, nor late, he’d automatically earned a gold star.

  I’d been looking out the window, waiting for him to arrive, and answered the door as soon as the bell chimed. It wasn’t like I was nervous for him to meet my mother. I was petrified. Brody smiled his crooked smile as soon as he saw me and my insides melted and, along with them, some of my nervousness. After all, who could look at that face and not like him? Then he opened his mouth, all the sweet nuthin’s came spewing out, and most people were hooked. You had to have a heart made of stone not to be affected by Brody’s charm. Or maybe I was biased.

  I looked at the flowers he was holding and raised an eyebrow.

  “These aren’t for you,” he said with a grin. “This is for you.” He lowered his head and touched his lips lightly to mine. I breathed him in. His subtle scent filled my nose and peppermint filled my mouth.

  Flowers or a kiss? The kiss was definitely the better deal.

  When he lifted his head, I ran my tongue over my lips. His eyes followed the motion. I gave him a small smile and looked up at him out of the corner of my eye. His gaze traveled over me. “You taste good,” I whispered. He smirked. “I want a piece of gum.” I stuck out my hand.

  He laughed. “How do you know I have gum?”