Tripp
Holding Doll in my arms, it’s time to have the conversation I’ve been avoiding. Sighing, I don’t know where to begin.
“Don’t say goodbye, Tripp, okay.” Doll starts before I have to. Her head is on my chest as she traces my tattoos with her finger. “I know what tomorrow is. I’m well aware this was a fling. Let’s just enjoy the time we have and tomorrow we part as friends.”
Friends, the word cuts deep coming from her. “Doll, I don’t want to hurt you. My life is surrounded in chaos. I’m never home. Hell, I can get a call at noon and be on the road by two, gone for weeks at a time. That’s no way for you to have to live.”
“Hell raisers demanding extreme chaos. That’s what my dad always says about the Hellions. I get it Tripp, okay. Don’t ruin tonight by making this about why we won’t work. I know your lifestyle. I also realize we live five hours apart. Now is not the time for the explanations for something I know and accept. Enjoy what we have while we have it.”
“I’m always here for you, Doll. One call, that’s all it takes. I programmed my number in your regular cell phone that’s now back in your purse. Day or night, you need me, you fuckin’ call.”
“Okay, Tripp.” She whispers as she snuggles closer. Much more and she’ll be sleeping on top of me tonight. “Tripp, we haven’t used condoms. I’m clean and on birth control. Since I don’t know when I will see you again, is there anything I need to worry about.”
I knew she was on birth control, I saw them in her bags, and I’ve never worried about her having anything. “Doll, I’ve never been with anyone else not wrapped. I knew you were on the pill. With you, I can’t seem to hold back and I don’t want to. Nothing between us ever, baby.” I reply, pulling her tighter and hoping to give her the knowledge she’s someone different and special to me.
Not knowing what else to say, I kiss the top of her head and lay back. We lay there lost in our own thoughts for I don’t know how long. She continues tracing my tattoos. When she thinks I’m asleep, I hear her whisper.
“Nothing between us ever, baby.” She pauses, in an even lower whisper, “I love you, Talon.”
I feel the wet warmth of the tears, as they fall on my chest. Remaining still, I let her think I’m asleep. I don’t want to tarnish the memory, the moment of hearing her say she loves me. If she knows I’m awake, she’ll try to back track. Saying goodbye is hard enough. Having her try to take back those words would kill me inside.
Chapter Thirty One
Home Sweet Home
Doll
Waking up, my eyes are puffy from crying into Tripp’s chest last night after he fell asleep. As I move around, I realize Tripp’s already out of bed. Guess I need to get used to waking up alone. It’s time to put my big girl panties on. He never promised me anything. By dinnertime, I’ll be back on the compound. Sass and I decided we didn’t want to live in the condo anymore, after the camera thing. We’re staying in one of the duplexes until we decide where we want to move next.
We pack up our stuff. Rex is staying behind to catch up on stuff while Tripp makes the drive home. Holding in my tears, I load my bag into his truck. If I had known yesterday would be my last ride with Tripp, I would’ve held on tighter or something. This feels awkward to know our time is over.
Sass settles herself in the back of the crew cab Silverado. Tripp climbs in, once we’re on the road, he takes my hand in his and spends the entire drive rubbing circles over my hand with his thumb. God, this sucks. I don’t want this to end.
Outside of the chatter Sass and I share about housing possibilities the ride is relatively quiet. Tripp’s phone rings quite a few times, some he answers, some he doesn’t. Pulling into the compound, my chest hurts. Physical pain consumes every inch of me. Is this what a panic attack feels like? I can’t do it, I can’t let him go.
A few of the guys are standing out front with my dad, Danza, and Frisco as we get out. Tripp grabs our bags as I rush over to hug my dad. I get the usual grunt response. He’s not the most affectionate man. Before I can say anything else, I hear Sass ask her dad.
“Where’s Tank?” All the guys tense as Danza responds. Everything I thought I knew changes in an instant.
“Sass, there was an incident.”
Putting her hand on her hip, her face reddening in anger and frustration, “what the fuck do you mean there was an incident? Where the hell is Tank?”
“Sass, calm the fuck down.” Danza says trying to tame the outburst building in his daughter. Tripp is suddenly beside me, his arms wrapped around my waist.
“He’s in the hospital. He’s been shot. He’s in a coma and it’s not good.” Danza says immediately dropping his head in anguish.
My knees give out from under me, and the only thing holding me up is Tripp. Sass falls into Danza’s chest crying. Leaning back into Tripp, I realize he knew.
“You fucking knew.” I say turning to face him as he drops his hands from my waist. “You fucking knew and you didn’t tell her.”
My dad steps over to me to pull my shoulder back. “It was my call not to tell y’all, not his.”
Hurt and scared for Tank, I can’t see past my tunnel vision that I was blindsided. All this time, Tripp knew. Yet, he let us walk into this. I need to get away from all of this. I need to get my best friend to Tank. We need to see him; she needs to see him.
“Where’s my fuckin’ car?” I scream walking over to Sass. Tripp reaches out for me and I shrug him off.
“Get the hell off me. Don’t you dare touch me! You knew damn it. You fuckin’ knew. All of you fuckin’ knew.”
Sass is crying on my shoulder as she starts to straighten up. She’s pulling herself together, realizing we need to get out of here and go see him. He’s one of the brother’s we’re both closest to, especially Sass. My dad pulls my car keys out of his pocket. I grab them from him.
“What hospital?” I ask. Frisco steps up. Reaching out to grab my shoulders, I pull away from him. I’m pissed at all these shitheads for keeping this from us.
“Doll, calm down. I get your fuckin’ pissed. I’ll tell you where he is but you gotta calm down, honey.”
“Calm down. What the hell?” Sass says staring each one of these large men down. “Tell me where the fuck he is so I can see for my damn self what ‘it doesn’t look good’ means.”
Frisco takes my keys, offering to drive us and fill us in on the ride. Without another word to anyone, we turn and climb in my Camaro. To hell with all of them, there was no reason to keep all of this from us.
Tripp
Watching Doll walk away crushes me. She never looks back as she gets in the car and leaves. No goodbye, no see ya around. No, she got in her car and left. I spend a few minutes talking general business with Roundman. Handing off the girls bags to a prospect to put in their place to stay, I’m officially done with this task.
“You alright, Tripp? Anything you need to tell me?” Roundman asks, looking at me as if he knows everything. He’s looking at me like he reads me. He knows I fucked his daughter. I don’t like feeling exposed.
“Nah, Roundman. I’m tired, gotta get back to Catawba.” I say getting ready to turn and leave. His voice stops me.
“She’ll come around, Talon. Give it time. Then you and I will have a talk.” Without another word, he turns away from me, conversation over.
I climb in my truck, absolutely deflated, and make the return drive home. It’s after midnight before I pull in. Ten hours on the road round trip, and all the emotions and craziness of the day I want nothing more than to shower and sleep. Climbing in my bed, her scent engulfs me. Knowing I won’t be able to sleep, I head down stairs and crash on the couch. Managing a few hours of shuteye, even if it was filled with dreams of Doll, is better than none.
Morning comes. My first morning in a month without her, loneliness is already creeping in. Calling to check on Tank, I find out the girls stayed at the hospital all night by his bed. The doctors can’t say if he’s going to pull through or not.
Life’s short, too short. If I don’t make it to see another day, I experienced the unconditional love of a woman once and that’s more than some people ever see.
Heading into my office the paperwork is piled up. Rex walks in with coffee in hand.
“You okay?” He asks sitting in the chair in front of my desk.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Not looking up from my desk, I continue the mundane task of sorting papers.
“I don’t know fucker, the broad you’re in love with is gone for good. After a month of steady pussy, that you couldn’t get enough of, you’re left with your hand and some fantasies.”
“Fuck you, Rex. You ever talk about her pussy again, family or not, I’ll beat the shit outta you.” I look up this time to find his face full of amusement, as mine is full of rage.
“You got it bad, man.”
“Shut the fuck up and get to work.” I throw a set of keys at him for his next job.
“Jolene wants us over for dinner tonight. Says it’s important.”
“Alright, what time?”
We map out the rest of the day so we can make it to his mom’s for dinner. Not how I planned to end my day, but whatever. Catching up keeps me busy and before I know it, Rex is walking in reminding me we have plans.
Arriving at my grandparent’s house, my gut twists. This is the place full of my happiest memories. Well, my happiest memories before Doll. Pop’s was always big on memories and making moments last. Aunt Jolene has the house now. She’s given it the modern upgrades, and added her own personal flare. Walking in the front door, I hear two female voices. Going past the living room that’s painted turquoise with a beach theme that includes huge sand dollars on the wall, we head to the sound of the voices. I stop in my tracks at the woman beside my aunt, the resemblance is uncanny.
“Talon.” The woman says looking at me with the same eyes I see in the mirror every day.
Her hair is lighter than mine. She’s tiny. Only five feet tall or so, skinny, and her face full of wrinkles. Time has not done her well. She looks fragile and broken. She may only be forty nine years old, but she looks to be in her late sixties.
“Lucy.” I reply as the ice runs through my veins.
“I’m glad you remember who I am.” She says never looking away from me as Rex goes and hugs his mother.
“What the fuck do you want?” Might as well cut to the chase, she’s not here for well wishes.
“I’m moving back home. I want to get to know you son.”
I laugh. I can’t help myself, after all this time. “Nothin’ to know. I go to work, I come home. I got a club that’s my family. When I need to fuck, I got bitches to fuck. Nothin’ more to tell. Nothin’ more you need to know. I’m a grown man. You want to know me? That time was long before now.”
“You’ve got a business. You’ve traveled. I want to know about all that. Do you have a wife? Do I have grandchildren?”
“Some things come too little, too late. You want to move in here with Aunt Jolene, fine. Y’all sort that shit out. I’m outta here.”
And without another word, I leave. Tomorrow, I pull out for a transport. I’ll find a way to stay gone for a while.
Chapter Thirty Two
It’s Been Awhile
Doll
Forty eight days. That’s how long I’ve been back home. Forty eight days that I’ve picked up my phone to call or text Tripp and haven’t done it. No one will tell Sass and I everything, but what we gather is the Hellions went to Delatorre’s warehouse. A fight ensued. Delatorre and his crew were eliminated. We lost four guys and Tank’s in the hospital fighting for his life, while machines take each calculated breath for him. I’ve paid my respects to the families of our lost brothers.
I’m in my office staring at the computer screen. I could email him, or should I text him? Leaving so many things unsaid between us, over time, is pulling at me. The more I think on it, the more I decide not to contact him. He knows my number, and he hasn’t called me. The pain cuts deep, the hole in my heart growing with every passing day that Tripp’s not in my life. Is he okay? Is he on a transport?
Brought out of my musing by my office door opening, I look up to see the bitch I’ve been waiting for. Standing, I walk straight up to her. Balling my hand into a fist, I rear back and punch her in the face. She stumbles back at the unexpected force. Immediately, her hand goes up to clutch her rapidly swelling eye. I missed her nose. Damn, I’d love to break that. Give her a bump that will make her think of me every damn time she looks in the mirror.
Frisco runs in from where he was outside. “Doll, what the fuck, babe?” He asks staring me down.
“She had it coming.” I say shaking my, now sore, hand out. “Been waitin’ to get a hold of her.”
She looks at me, tears streaming down her face. “I deserve that and more. Doll, I’m-”
“Name’s Delilah.” I interject with my hand on my hip now. “My friends and family call me Doll. You aren’t my family and you sure as shit ain’t my friend.”
“Delilah, I’m sorry. Felix, he threatened Alyssa, she’s Rachael’s daughter. He wanted me to be friends with you, using Rachael as a connection. I couldn’t do it, though. I pretended I was talking to you on the phone. When he told me he was bringing me to meet you at your office, I knew I was busted because you didn’t know me. He beat the shit out of me and still made me come. I was supposed to talk to you while they were in the office, but I didn’t want to put you in danger. I’m sorry, Delilah. I can’t say that enough, but I was protecting my cousins and the people that mean the most to them. I did just enough that he would leave them alone and took the beatings for not drawing you in. I worked at the shipping yard with Ray and Zack. Delatorre offered me money to handle getting some shipments through. That was just the beginning. When he did a background check on me, he found my only remaining family. He tied Rachael to you. He wanted me to be a pawn in his game to push the Hellions to do more than transport. He wanted them to sell the drugs he’s been shipping too. I got in too deep and I brought you down with me. I’m glad you’re okay and I wish I could go back and change so many things.”
This woman got her ass beat multiple times for me. A stranger. She let that man hurt her so that she wouldn’t drag me into the mess. Loyalty like that is rare, but I’m still pissed. I can forgive, just not easily.
“I don’t know what to say to you.” My tone is now one that is calm and collected.
“You don’t have to say anything. I needed to apologize to you. The trouble is gone. I’ll be going home soon. I wanted to face you and tell you why.”
Frisco steps up, pulling her against him, “Told you, babe, ain’t goin’ nowhere until the nightmares stop and you know you’re safe.”
He’s my dad’s age, she’s my age. Yet, seeing them together doesn’t seem awkward, rather it seems he’s exactly what she needs. Frisco’s wife left him years ago, saying he was never gonna grow up. He always took care of her, like the rock star situation. It wasn’t enough and when it came to club or love, Frisco wouldn’t walk away from the club. Do I want Amy Mitchell hangin’ around? No. But after feeling the fear of Delatorre being after me, I can understand the need to help her be secure once again. Frisco will make sure she feels safe and get her back on her feet.
“Water under the bridge. You stay outta my way, I’ll stay outta yours. You fuck over my club, I’ll cut a bitch. Know that.” I say before retreating to my dad’s office. Okay, so I probably wouldn’t cut her because I don’t have it in me, but she doesn’t know me well enough to know I’m bluffing.
Hearing the door open and close, I go back to my desk. Well, I guess if I can attempt to move past things and put up with Amy then I should face the situation with Tripp. Pulling my phone out, I type and this time I actually hit the send button.
Thinking of u. Take care Talon. <3 Doll
Deciding that waiting to see if he’ll respond would kill me, I turn my phone off. He’s moved on. Someone else is warming his bed. Hell, he
may not recognize the number or given the way he left, he may not even respond.
Tripp
Being on the road usually relaxes me. Not this time. I’ve made sure to stay gone as much as possible the last six almost seven weeks, since taking Doll home. It’s done nothing to help my mood or keep Lucy off my back. She calls daily. I ignore them. She leaves messages. I’ve contemplated changing my number, but this is the number Doll has. If she needs me, I made a promise to be there.
On the last run, I met a chick named Danielle. Her shoulder length black hair, her brown eyes, and her curves all reminded me she wasn’t Doll. She was pretty enough, she wanted me bad, but in the end she wasn’t Doll. I couldn’t do it, so ‘Dee’ and I parted ways almost as quickly as we began. So, it’s also been almost seven weeks since I’ve fucked. Although I’m not Rex, this has been a long fucking dry spell.
Pulling into my drop off point, I unhitch the trailer. Finding my hotel for the night, it’s after eleven, and a bed’s never been more inviting. Well, any bed with Doll is more inviting, but that’s done. I fall into the same restless sleep I have every night. Consumed in dreams of her smile, her kiss, and each one ending in her walking away, it’s the same dream night after night.
Getting up the next morning, I shower to try and bring life back into my exhausted body. Sitting on the bed, I turn my phone on so I can check in with Rex back home. The phone lights up as her name appears on my screen. Well, fuck me, she sent a message yesterday. Sending a quick reply, I type.
U need something?
What do I say? The only reason she should be reaching out to me is because she wants something. Before I have a chance to finish gathering my stuff, my phone pings alerting me to a new message, I look down to see it’s her.
A Ride or Die Kind of Love Page 16
