A Ride or Die Kind of Love

by Chelsea Camaron

  I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to speak yet, so I just sat there while he stared at me. I figured silence was my best course of action.

  “Answer when I ask you a question.”

  I looked back and forth between my pop and Slider, but their faces held no emotion. I couldn’t read them. I had never seen this side of either of them before. “Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “That’s correct.”

  “Fuck, Brenna. If you were any other woman, you’d be beaten black-and-blue for this stunt you fucking pulled. I wanted to go after you when you left, but your pop stayed my hand. Said if you didn’t want this life, that it was your choice. I didn’t agree with him, but I didn’t push it either. Now, it seems as if I should have pushed it. ’Cause you fucked and then fucked over one of my lieutenants. Left him with his baby planted in your belly and then married some dumb fuck. Fucked over a man I respect. A good soldier. Made him lie to his brothers. Made Grease lie for him.” He looked down at his hands as if searching for patience, and when he lifted his head, I could tell he had found it. “You’re here now. What? You decided now that your life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies and that maybe you’re not too good for this club all of a sudden?”

  I knew his question was rhetorical, so I kept my mouth shut.

  His next words made it drop back open though. “You’re not leaving again. We let you go off on your own, and it was a mistake. I only make mistakes once. If you pull some shit like this again, I’ll wash my hands of you. I won’t let Vera at you as a matter of respect for your father, but you will not be allowed on club grounds again. You will no longer have the protection of the club that has protected you all of your life. Do you understand me? You will be fair game to every fucking cartel and rival club in the continental United States. You’re Poet’s daughter. Men will try to use you to get to me, and you know what they will to do to you. If you step foot off club grounds with the intention of taking off, I will leave you to the wolves. Are we fucking clear?”

  My mind spun with scenarios, and none of them were things I wanted to contemplate. I had to stay here? I had planned for this to be a stopping-off point—a place where I could get my troubles taken care of and get my daughter protected. Then, I could leave and start a life somewhere new—safe from the monster I was married to and away from this life that I had never wanted.

  I’d never imagined these sorts of ramifications. I’d never guessed that my desertion would have such a widespread impact or that my safe haven would become a prison. Could I just leave now? Pack my shit and take off? I might be able to hide for a while, but I knew someone would find me eventually. As afraid as I was of what Dragon would do when he came back, I knew having him track me down would be the best-case scenario. Without the club protection, a giant bull’s-eye would be painted on my back. I started to panic, and I stood up, but Slider’s next words had me dropping back into the chair.

  “Brenna. If you leave, your daughter will not be going with you.”

  I looked at Pop for reassurance, but his face was completely blank, and he was staring over my shoulder. I couldn’t believe that he would let them take my daughter from me. This was my father. He loved me. He’d never allow something so heinous. Right?

  “Pop?” I whispered. My throat was clogged with tears.

  When he looked at me, I knew I would get no help from him.

  “You are my daughter. For that reason alone, I have tried to protect you from the ramifications of your actions. I can no longer help you. You chose this. You knew what would happen before you left. You knew the consequences of coming back. Never have I been so ashamed as when I found that child in your car. I knew from the moment I picked her up who she was. You have lived this life. You were raised in this life. Five years ago, you decided to completely disregard anything I have taught you. You fucked a member. You knew what would happen, yet you continued on your course. I am the vice president of this club.”

  I could tell he was keeping his temper in check by the very precise language he was using. His voice was so calm it was eerie.

  “The minute you drove in with a member’s child in your car, every brother in the club knew. My daughter had fucked a lieutenant, and I, her father, had done nothing about it. I had known nothing about it. With your actions, you have fucked the respect that I have earned. You fucked the respect that Dragon had earned. You put Grease in the intolerable position of choosing between his brothers. You have compromised the trust that the brothers in this club must have in order to survive and do their jobs. You, who knew the consequences more than most, have caused dissention among the members.”

  By this time, tears were rolling down my face, and my breath was hiccupping in my chest. I couldn’t meet his eyes, and I couldn’t even tell if he was looking at me because my chin was tucked so far into my chest. The shame I felt was multiplied tenfold by the shame I heard in Pop’s voice. What the fuck had I done?

  “I love my granddaughter. I bear no ill will toward Trix; she is completely innocent in this. But you, Brenna? You made your bed, and you will fucking lie in it.”

  Pop calmly walked to the door and quietly left. It would have been far easier if he had yelled at me, if he had thrown things or hit me. The controlled movements and calm voice had freaked me out far more than any outburst ever would.

  “Brenna, look at me,” Slider called from across the desk. He waited until I raised my face before he spoke again. “This subject is over. If we have an understanding…” He looked at me in confirmation, and I nodded my head. “We don’t have to speak of it again. However, we do have other matters that need attention.”

  “What other matters?” I asked in a gravelly voice.

  “The matter of where you and Trix will be living. You know you can’t stay in the clubhouse. Bitches don’t live in my clubhouse. I let you stay there, and the boys will want their fucking whores staying there, and then old ladies will be wondering why they can’t stay there, and then I’ll have catfights and screaming in my place of business. There’s a small house that is currently not in use on the east end of the property. I’ve already sent some bitches over there to see what needs to be done before you can move into it.”

  Well, that was a surprise. Even though he was angrier than I’d ever seen him, he was still watching out for us—sort of. I understood about the clubhouse though. I was so grateful that I almost missed his last words.

  “You’ll let Dragon stay with you if that’s what he chooses. I don’t know what the fuck he’s gonna do when he gets back. He’s got his old lady living with him though, so I can’t move your ass in there.”

  Even after all the turmoil of the past hour, his words were still enough of a surprise that I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. Dragon had an old lady. Well, fuck, that hurt. Bad. I guessed I shouldn’t be surprised. I’d left him. I’d been gone five years. I had absolutely no hold on him. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like a bitch though. Thoughts of his old lady raced through my head. What did she look like? When did they get together? Was she a bitch? Was she nice? What was their relationship like? How did he treat her? Where did they meet? How long after I left did they hook up? Was he with her when I was here before? What would she think about Trix? Would she even want to meet her? Would Trix have to visit them at their place? Fuck, would she want to be a stepmom to Trix? In all the scenarios I had imagined before I got here, Dragon having an old lady never factored into them. As I was trying to process this information, Pop walked back into the room and sat next to me.

  “Brenna, you need to tell Slider what you told me. Everything. Don’t leave anything out. We need to decide what to do.”

  I really didn’t want to do it. The Slider I knew before, the uncle, I would have had no problem pouring my heart out to. He was a confidant and a protector. This Slider? Well, I didn’t know what he was. I didn’t know how he would react. Would he think I deserved everything I got for what I’d done to the club? I didn’t think I could handle that. I decided to give
him an abridged version of my story. I didn’t omit anything, but I also didn’t let myself feel any emotion. I told the story as if it had happened on some Lifetime Movie-of-the-Week, not to me and not to my daughter. Halfway through my story, Slider stood up and started to pace. He didn’t say a word, just walked back and forth in front of Pop and me until I finished. Once he knew I was done, he sat back down.

  “Who is this fucker? We’ll take care of it,” he said firmly.

  That was all he said, and I was brought back into the fold. I held back my tears of relief and finally told him the name that I had refused to say since I left our house in Portland. I had some sort of weird belief that if I said his name, he would appear…sort of like Beetlejuice. I knew it was stupid, but I held on to that belief.

  “His name is Anthony Richards.”

  “Is he gonna cause you problems? Follow you?” Slider asked me, seemingly unconcerned.

  “Probably. He’s going to be pissed I took off. He’s going to be livid when he figures out where we are. If he figures out where we are…”

  “He don’t know where you came from, Brenna?” Pop asked incredulously.

  “Uh, no. He didn’t. I didn’t bring it up, and he didn’t ask.” My face blushed with shame.

  I never wanted them to feel like I was ashamed of them, but the truth was that I used to be embarrassed by our life when compared to Tony’s. His family was wealthy and very clean-cut, and so different from ours. I hadn’t wanted to bring him back here in his preppy clothes to see my family covered in tattoos and leather jackets. Not to mention, half of the boys on the property had outstanding warrants in more than a few states.

  Looking back, I wished I had brought him here. Maybe someone would have noticed what I hadn’t. Maybe seeing me surrounded by men that most people would cross the street to stay away from would have given him enough incentive to keep his hands off me. Maybe he would have dumped me and never looked back. Maybe the last five years would never have happened.

  Chapter Six

  Brenna

  The day Dragon got back started out normally or as normal as it could when I was sleeping with my four-year-old daughter in my pop’s bed at a biker compound. Slider refused to give us our own room because he didn’t want to set precedence, so Pop took one of the empty rooms while Trix and I stayed in his room. This seemed a little ridiculous to me, but I guess I could see his point. He wanted to make it very clear to the members and their bitches that this was a temporary situation. Bitches could stay the night in the guys’ rooms; however, they were not moving in. Ever. He didn’t want the drama of old ladies and club skanks fighting it out over living arrangements. What a clusterfuck that would be.

  By noon, Trix and I were sitting at a picnic table eating sandwiches in the sunshine. It was mostly quiet around the club these days with so many of the boys gone with Dragon and Grease. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt so calm. Not at peace as there were too many unknowns for that, but I felt safe. Trix and I hadn’t left the compound once since that first day. Vera had offered to go to a local Walmart to get us some clothes and toys for Trix, so we didn’t have to leave. Thank God because I wasn’t sure that I could have made myself go outside the gate.

  When I heard the roar of pipes coming up the driveway, I was instantly alert. There were far too many for it to be just one of the boys who had left on some errand. It was at least six or seven. Dragon was home, and it was time to face the music. I didn’t want to freak Trix out, but I really wanted to get inside before they reached us. It was too open out here, and most everyone was inside at this time of day. I was really hoping that Pop would take Trix while Dragon and I had our little conversation. I quickly picked up our garbage and swung Trix down from her seat, but I wasn’t quick enough. The boys rolled into the forecourt followed by a dark gray sedan with tinted windows. Dragon was parked closest to us, and we immediately made eye contact as he climbed off his bike. His face was completely emotionless as he started in our direction. He didn’t make it far before I heard a voice behind him and felt Trix’s body push hard against the side of my leg.

  “Ah, Brenna, my wayward wife. Come give me a kiss, love, and then it’s time to go.”

  I slowly turned my head in the direction of the voice and felt my heart begin to race. Standing beside the sedan was my husband, flanked by two massive boogeymen with no necks. Tony looked the same as ever—expensive suit, loafers, and not a hair out of place. However, I could tell by the look on his face that he was livid.

  How the FUCK did he get in here? Was Slider giving me back? Thoughts raced through my head, and for a moment, it was as if I had tunnel vision. All I could see was Tony, and all I could hear was his voice over and over. Come give me a kiss, love. Come give me a kiss, love. This couldn’t be happening. I snapped back into reality when I heard Trix’s whimper. I glanced down to see her watching the scene unfolding before us with unblinking eyes.

  Dragon was striding toward Tony. His back was to us, but by the set of his shoulders, I knew he was pissed. Just then, Slider and Pop came out of the clubhouse followed by a group of the boys. This was not going to end well for anyone. Tony was outnumbered, but by the look on his face, he knew he was safe. I wasn’t sure if he thought I would just willingly leave with him or if Slider would hand me over, but I knew he thought this was going to end in his favor.

  When Dragon was about five feet from Tony, Slider finally spoke up.

  “Dragon, stop! Grease, grab him!”

  By now, the goons had pulled weapons, but so had the brothers. It was a standoff between them with Trix and me in the thick of it. Dragon didn’t act like he’d heard Slider as he strode toward Tony. He was moving at the same steady speed as before, completely ignoring the guns pointed him. Before Grease could grab him, Trix called out from beside me.

  “Papa!”

  I was pretty sure my jaw dropped. What the fuck? I knew she wasn’t talking to Tony. She only ever called him Daddy. She never made noise around Tony, especially when he was in a mood. She called my Pop Gramps. This was fucking weird, and even with everything going on around us, I was completely focused on her as she called out again.

  “PAPA!”

  Dragon finally pulled himself to a stop about two feet from Tony. Only his head turned when he glanced back at us. As soon as he made eye contact with Trix, she took off running. I tried to catch her, but she slipped past me and weaved her way through the bikers like they were obstacles on a jungle gym. The kid was fast, and I was practically chasing her through the bikes. Once Dragon saw what she was doing, he quickly turned and started toward her. Within seconds, he swung her up on his arm, and she buried her face in his neck. You couldn’t even see it behind his beard. I slowed to a stop a few feet from them, out of breath and freaking the fuck out. What the hell was that? All of a sudden I realized that Tony had seen the whole thing, and my head slowly turned to catch his reaction.

  He was laughing, but it wasn’t genuine. It was sinister and mean, and I thought for a second my sandwich was going to force its way past my throat.

  “Ah, so you finally told her who her daddy was. Interesting timing although I guess you really couldn’t help it, could you? The little spic looks just like him.”

  I was shaking so badly I thought my knees were going to give out. Dragon strode over to stand next to me as I faced Tony, and he lightly rested his hand at the small of my back. I could feel his body thrumming with energy, and I knew that if he weren’t holding Trix, Tony would already be a dead man—goons or no goons. I wasn’t sure where to look, what to do, or if I should say something. Tony was here in my safe place, and I just wanted him gone. Why couldn’t he leave us the hell alone? He stood there with that arrogant grin on his face and called my daughter a spic. I couldn’t even wrap my head around it, not to mention the fact that she wasn’t even Hispanic. Dragon was Native American.

  “Look at that, a perfect little family. You fucking him yet, Brenna?” His eyes turned to Dragon. “She’s re
ally good once you’ve knocked her around a bit. All that moaning and groaning. She hardly ever makes noise otherwise. Boring as hell, really. I guess you already knew that though. It was so satisfying, you know? Fucking her after I knew she went slumming here. Knowing that I had her, and some white trash piece of garbage was waiting around for her. I didn’t know who she slept with when she came back here, and I really didn’t care. But the kid looks just like you, so you must have been the one. Unfortunately.”

  Dragon slid Trix off his arm and handed her to me, never taking his eyes off Tony. “Take her inside, Brenna.”

  “Dragon, don’t—“

  “NOW, Brenna. Go now.” He gave me a little shove.

  I wasn’t about to watch what Dragon was going to do, and I really didn’t want Trix to see it, so I did as he told me.

  As I passed Pop, he grabbed my arm lightly. “Bring her to Vera and come back out here, lass. I don’t think we’ll be able to control the situation otherwise.”

  Vera was right inside the door as I rushed in, and I almost didn’t see her. She stood at an angle facing Tony and the goons with a shotgun propped in a little notch in the doorframe. You couldn’t see her from outside, but I was surprised I didn’t remember where she would be standing. This was her place during anything that went down in the forecourt. She could easily shut and bolt the door from this position, but she would still be able to protect Slider’s back. Slider hated it, but eventually, he came to accept it. He was the one to notch the doorway, so she wouldn’t have to support the shotgun for long periods of time.

  “Vera! Can you take Trix?”

  “You goin’ back out there?”

  “Yeah, Pop told me to come back out.”

  “Sure. Come here, Trix. Let’s let your mama go bust some heads.”