A Ride or Die Kind of Love

by Chelsea Camaron

  “That’s so cliché,” I say, then burst out into a fit of nervous giggles.

  Cade chuckles, and leans down, kissing my lips softly. “Cliché I can do for you, sugar.”

  “Now that’s love,” I whisper.

  His green eyes scan my face, and then he leans forward and presses his lips to mine. We kiss softly for a long moment, just comforting each other in the only way we know how.

  “Who is Ciara?” I ask when we finally pull apart.

  “Ciara is Cheyenne’s sister.”

  Oh. My. God.

  “Why is she basically under the protection of the bikers?”

  “Her and Spike don’t exactly see eye to eye. They have had more run ins then I can begin to count. She blamed him.”

  “She doesn’t blame you?” I whisper.

  “No. She thinks if Spike never married Chey, like they all wanted, then it wouldn’t have happened. He was warned away from her; he didn’t listen. Back then, Spike lived a far more dangerous life then he lives now. He was muddled up in some fucked up shit, and that’s how it ended for him.”

  “And now Ciara hates him?”

  “Ciara blamed him, but she doesn’t hate him. From what I know, Ciara had a massive crush on Spike before Chey came into the picture. Part of their issue goes back to that. The reason we protect her, is because when they start on each other, it’s hard to stop it.”

  “Sounds complicated,” I murmur.

  “It’s beyond complicated, sugar.”

  I lay down on my pillow with a deep yawn. I’m exhausted and emotionally drained. Cade gives me a small grin, and leans down, brushing his lips across my head. “Get some sleep, yeah? I’ll be downstairs.”

  “What?” I say, rubbing my eyes to stop them from closing.

  “I’m not leavin’ you in a house alone when that crazy fucker is out there.”

  “You can’t just sit downstairs and wait.”

  He gives me a look. “Can’t I?”

  “Cade…”

  “Sugar…”

  “Jackson will be home soon, I won’t sleep if you’re sitting down there alone.”

  “Then I’ll sit here and watch you.”

  “That’s creepy,” I grumble.

  “Sugar, I’m fuckin’ stayin’. Now shut the fuck up, and get some sleep.”

  I narrow my eyes at him. “You know, you could say it nicely.”

  “Nah, sugar. Only way that works with you is when I tell it how it is. Now close your eyes and sleep.”

  “Yes, boss.”

  He gives me a stern look, so with a sigh I close my eyes. I’m out before either of us can get another word in.

  I guess I was exhausted.

  ~*PRESENT*~

  There’s so much blood. It’s everywhere. I’m screaming, but no one can hear me. Why won’t anyone help me? I’m trapped. There’s so much blood I can’t find my way out. It’s everywhere. On the walls, on the floor, and the roof. God, I can’t escape it. I crawl, trying desperately to find a way out of this hell. I can hear screaming, high pitched, frightened. It’s filling my mind, burning into me. I shake my head from side to side. Please stop, just stop so I can get out.

  “Snake, there you are.”

  Jasper is suddenly in front of me, and at his feet is a dead woman. I scream at the sight of the gaping hole in her head. I can still hear screaming. It’s a man.

  “Cheyenne!” the voice cries, and I realize it’s Spike.

  The woman on the floor is Cheyenne, and the blood is hers. Jasper steps closer to me as I try to crawl away.

  “I’ll find you, snake, and this will be you.”

  God, help me, someone help me.

  “Please, let me go!” I cry.

  I bump into something, and I look down to see another dead body. It’s Cheyenne again. How did she get here? I scream, but no sound comes out. Suddenly, her face is my mother’s. Her skin is blue. She’s struggling to breathe. I scream, this time it’s ear splitting.

  “Cheyenne,” Spike screams again.

  “Snake, you’re mine,” Jasper growls. “I’ll kill you.”

  I bolt upright, screaming. My hands frantically grab at the sheets. I can’t breathe. It hurts to even try. The door swings open, and Jackson comes running in, shirtless, sleep ruffled and waving a gun around.

  “The fuck?” he roars.

  I’m panting and sweating. The dream, it was awful. I wrap my arms around myself and I begin to cry. Jackson lowers the gun when he realizes there’s no one in the room.

  “Addi?” he says gently.

  “It was just a dream,” I croak through my tears.

  “Ah shit,” he murmurs, walking over to the side of the bed and wrapping his arms around me. I fall into him, and I begin to cry harder.

  “Cade told me about Cheyenne tonight, and it just brought up so much for me. I killed her, Dad. I let her die right in front of me. I didn’t call an ambulance. I didn’t stick my fingers down her throat to make her sick it all up. I just let her die.”

  “She fucked you up. When someone fucks you up that bad, you don’t wanna save them. What you did, anyone would have done.”

  “She was my mother,” I wail.

  “She gave birth to you. Didn’t make her your fuckin’ mother – it takes far more than that to be a mother.”

  “I let her die.”

  “You set her free.”

  I flinch, his words hitting me to my very core.

  “Do you think that’s the life she dreamed of having?” he says gently. “It’s not. The short while I knew your ma, told me that she never wanted any of that. When you’re so wrapped up in something like that, you can’t escape it. She had no way out. She was stuck and you gave her a way out. You set her free. You truly did send her to a better place.”

  “It doesn’t make what I did right,” I say in a hoarse voice.

  “No, it doesn’t, but it helps you deal.”

  “Did you love her?”

  He pulls back and stares down at me. “Only woman I ever loved.”

  “Why?”

  He gives me a half smile, but it’s pained. “She was nothin’ like you described her. To me, she was Emily. Sweet, caring, loving, Emily. She didn’t do horrible things. She loved you. Heck, she loved me. The woman you speak of, that wasn’t the woman I got a glimpse of. Each time you talk about her, I lose a little part of the woman I remember.”

  “Am I hurting you?”

  He grips my face. “You’ve been hurtin’ me every fuckin’ day since she took you, and now, you hurt me each day you look at me with those broken eyes. You hurt me, ‘coz I wasn’t there to fuckin’ save you when you needed savin’.”

  “You didn’t know,” I rasp.

  “Don’t make it any easier.”

  “You’re here now.”

  He nods and sucks in a deep breath. He stands. Clearly, the emotions of it are too much for him.

  “Never told you this, Addi, ‘coz I was too proud, but I should have told you the minute you broke into my compound and stepped into my shed.”

  I give a weak giggle.

  “I should have told you that I love you, and I’ve loved you since the second I laid eyes on you. Ain’t never changed, and it never fuckin’ will.”

  Only a biker can use the word fuckin’ in the same sentence as I love you, and make it sound breathtaking. I smile up at him, even though I’m still crying.

  “You know, I think I might just love you too, old man.”

  He chokes a laugh and shakes his head. “’Nuff of this sappy shit. You’re makin’ a girl of me. You need me to get you something?”

  I shake my head. “No, you’re giving me enough.”

  He nods and then digs into his jeans pocket, he pulls out a fifty and thrusts it at me.

  “What’s that for?”

  “Food, you know, bein’ that I’m your dad and all that,” he says, using the same line I used on him the first night I arrived.

  I burst out laughing, and with a grin, he l
eaves me to it.

  Well damn.

  Who knew a group of bikers really could be my happy ending?

  ~*CHAPTER 17*~

  PRESENT

  “Cade, are you home?”

  I hear the female voice as I’m cooking breakfast a week later. I’ve been staying at Cade’s house the past few nights, because he decided not to go on the ride to find Jasper. Instead, he stayed behind to make sure I had protection in case he showed up. The Hell’s Knights have been gone over three days, but so far, they haven’t found anything. That bothers me more than I’m letting on. I drop the scraper I was using to flip eggs, and walk over to the front door. I see a young, beautiful woman standing behind the screen. She’s absolutely stunning. She has this long, lightly curled blonde hair and eyes that remind me of cats eyes; they’re yellow and completely out of this world. She smiles when she sees me approach, which makes me think she knows who I am.

  “Hi, can I help you?” I smile, opening the screen.

  “You must be Addi?”

  I nod. “I am, and you are?”

  “I’ve heard a lot about you, I’m Ciara.”

  This is Cheyenne’s sister? My heart does a strange flip flop, perhaps in awe of how strong this girl must be to live through what she’s lived through.

  “Ciara, it’s nice to meet you. Come in, I’ll get Cade.”

  I turn and she follows me inside.

  “So, are you enjoying being here?” she asks.

  “I am. So far it’s been good.”

  “And I hope Cade’s treating you well?”

  I laugh. “Yeah, he’s doing a great job.”

  “For a biker anyway,” she laughs.

  I turn, giving her a grin. “Yeah, for a biker. Can I get you something to drink?”

  “No, I’m okay, thank you.”

  “Ciara?”

  I turn when I hear Cade’s voice. He’s coming down the stairs, looking like a dark angel, with his messy hair, light eyes and shirtless state. My heart speeds up, and I lick my lips.

  “Cade, I hope you don’t mind me stopping in?”

  Cade grabs his shirt from the couch as he passes it, throwing it on. He breezes past me, putting a kiss to my lips before stopping in front of Ciara. He reaches for her, and pulls her into his arms. For some reason, his actions don’t bother me at all. He’s clearly got a good friendship with this girl, and I’m happy for him. Everyone should have a good friend.

  “You know you can always stop in, what can I do for you, Tomcat?”

  She grins and rolls her eyes at him. “You all know I hate that nickname?”

  Cade smirks, and reaches out for my hand, pulling me close. “It’s the eyes,” he says.

  “Damn eyes, I’ll never live them down.”

  Cade chuckles. “Did you meet my girl?”

  Ciara nods. “I did. She’s lovely.”

  I grin at her, and she returns it. Then she turns back to Cade. “I’m here about Spike.”

  Cade flinches, and I rub my hand up and down his back, soothing him.

  “What about him?”

  “I know he’s in town.”

  “He won’t bother you. We’ve made sure of that.”

  “I kind of wanted to talk to him.”

  Cade raises his brows. “You can’t be serious? Every time you two are in the same room, you end up ripping each other’s fuckin’ heads off.”

  Ciara rolls her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic; we only half tear them off.”

  Cade laughs and I find myself laughing too. Ciara has a bubbly personality. She’s the kind of girl I could get along with quite easily. She’s not much older than me either by the looks of it. Maybe twenty-three.

  “Why would you wanna see him anyway?”

  “I wanted to talk to him. Look, I know I was harsh on him. What happened wasn’t anyone’s fault. My sister made her choice; it wasn’t Spike’s fault it ended the way it did. I’ve had some time to understand that.”

  “Spike ain’t gonna hear of it, you know that?”

  She nods. “I have to try though. Maybe it will bring him some sort of peace. I know he loved Cheyenne.”

  “Your parents know you’re here, Tomcat?”

  Ciara visibly stiffens. “No, and it wouldn’t go down well.”

  “You hated him for years after her death. You forgave me when it was my fault. He ain’t goin’ to take your apology well.”

  “It was no one’s fault. Not yours or his. You were both trying to save her. It went wrong. It’s the end of it.”

  “Ain’t never that simple, and you know it.”

  She shrugs. “Sometimes it has to be.”

  “I don’t talk to Spike, so you’re gonna have to find him on your own.”

  “You know where he’s staying through, right?”

  Cade shakes his head. “You ain’t goin’ over there alone, Ciara.”

  “Don’t get over protective with me, Cade. I’m not going to get hurt. He wouldn’t hurt me.”

  “Spike’s bitter.”

  “He’s okay,” I blurt and Cade turns, eyes widening. Shit, I have to fix that outburst. “I mean, he’s not a monster, Cade. I’ve seen him a few times, and he’s never tried to hurt me.”

  “He tried to hand you over to a pimp willing to kill you,” Cade grunts.

  “He didn’t know.”

  “Still think it’s a bad idea sendin’ her over.”

  “Then we’ll go with her.”

  Cade shakes his head. “A Hell’s Knight can’t go into a Heaven’s Sinner’s compound; it’s far against the rules. We might have a truce to get along, but even that’s out of bounds.”

  “Then I’ll go with her.”

  “Like fuck,” Cade grunts.

  “No, look,” Ciara says, putting her hands up, “I’ll figure it out. Don’t you two tangle yourselves up in it.”

  “You ain’t goin’ alone, Ciara.”

  She gives Cade a look. “I’m a big girl.”

  “No.”

  “Let me go with her. Spike won’t hurt me, Cade, and you know he won’t.”

  “I said, fuckin’, no,” he grates out.

  Ciara puts up her hands. “Stop arguing you two, it’s fine. I’ll leave it for now, okay?”

  Cade gives her a look, and I cross my arms.

  “Spike won’t hurt me Cade, what’s the problem?” I protest.

  “The problem,” he grinds out. “Is not that I think Spike will hurt you, ‘coz I know he won’t. The problem is that it’s Heaven’s Sinner’s territory now, and we don’t fuckin’ go on their territory. That includes you, Addison. I won’t fuckin’ tell you again. You’re not fuckin’ goin’.”

  God, I hate bossy Cade. I give him a glare, which he returns with full force.

  “Whatever, I’ve got to go to work,” I snap.

  “I’ll make a few calls,” Cade says, though his voice is still hard. “Then I’ll take you.”

  “I’m heading over to the compound,” Ciara says. “I can take her.”

  I turn to her. “That would be great, I’d prefer your company right now. I’ll just go and get changed.”

  Cade snorts, but I brush past him and head up the stairs. I walk into his room, and begin changing for work. A moment later he comes in behind me.

  “The fuck was that about?”

  I spin around, buttoning up my pants. “That was because you think you can control everything I do.”

  “It’s not about control, it’s about respect for another club.”

  “We only wanted to talk to him,” I snap.

  “Don’t fuckin’ care. You won’t be goin’ there, Addison. You got it?”

  “Yeah, I got it!”

  I storm past him, shoving his hand away when he reaches out to grip mine. I head downstairs, and out the front door. Ciara is waiting beside her car. She smiles when she sees me.

  “Ready?” she asks.

  “Yep, ready.”

  I don’t look back at Cade’s house as I slide into Ciara’
s front seat. When she pulls out of the drive, I turn to her.

  “Head to Spike’s.”

  Her eyes widen. “Addison, that’s not a good idea. Cade said no.”

  “It will take five minutes, he won’t know.”

  “Addison…”

  “Trust me, Ciara. Do you want to speak to Spike or not?”

  She nods weakly. “I do.”

  “Then go.”

  “Are you sure about this?”

  “Fuck yes I’m sure, Cade doesn’t own me.”

  “He kind of doe…”

  “No,” I growl. “He doesn’t. Let’s go.”

  We’re both silent for long moments, then Ciara turns to me again.

  “You honestly didn’t have to do this, Cade will be furious.”

  “He’ll get over it. It’s about time Cade learned he can’t tell me what to do.”

  “God girl, you’ve got far too much spunk.”

  I laugh. “So, you and Spike? Things seem pretty bad between you two.”

  She sighs and pulls a set of sunglasses over her eyes. “Yeah, it started long before my sister passed. Spike was my first, if you know what I mean?”

  My mouth drops open. “Cade said you had a crush on him. He didn’t say he slept with you!”

  She laughs. “Cade leaves out those details. He’s just protecting me.”

  “So you and Spike…have history?”

  She shrugs. “I suppose you could call it history. We met one night and we became friends. I knew he was crushing on my sister, but I didn’t care. I was a revenge fuck, I’m sure of it. He saw her one night out with another man and he got angry. He found me at the bar, and one thing lead to another. We had sex. He didn’t know it was my first time until later when my sister went sick at him. She cared about him too, and was using the other man to make him jealous. When she found out Spike slept with me, she got angry. I was heartbroken, being used like that. I knew Spike had feelings for me, but they weren’t as strong as the ones he had for Cheyenne. I went away for a while. When I came back they were married.”

  Jesus, that’s a fucked up story. I can’t imagine how painful that would have been for Ciara, loving a man who was not interested in her at all.