A Ride or Die Kind of Love

by Chelsea Camaron

  The gang leader rubbed his thumb over her lower lip with a smile that seemed more warning than anything else. “Don’t be a brat, kitten. Jasper’s not going to let you do anything you might regret, no matter how hard you push him. But pushing him won’t get you what you want either. You get me?”

  Lying was beyond her. “Not really.”

  He snorted and leaned in to kiss her soundly. “You will. Welcome to the family, sweetheart.”

  Jasper spoke, his voice low in her ear. “Time to say good night, Noelle.”

  She watched Dallas melt into the darkness before looking around. Plenty of people were dancing and drinking, and some were doing far dirtier things than that. “The night’s barely started,” she protested, turning to face Jasper. “I don’t want to be the soft city girl who couldn’t drink her shots and couldn’t stay at her own party.”

  “Is that really what you’re worried about?”

  Of course he couldn’t understand. He was a rock. Unmoving, unmovable...strong and secure in his place. Noelle slid her hands up his chest with a sigh. “Maybe I just want to have fun. Why does everyone care if I’m wasted? I let you do worse stuff to me when I’m not.”

  He stiffened, his brows snapping together in a frown. “Worse? That’s still what you think, isn’t it?”

  “No, I don’t mean it like that.” Fear swept up out of nowhere, spurred on by the hard set of his jaw and the darkness in his eyes. “I know it’s not bad, because I trust you. And I don’t care. I like it. I want it.”

  He looked around and exhaled roughly. “You know, you’re right. It’s your party. You should hang out for a while.”

  She hadn’t fixed it. The words she’d blurted without thinking had damaged something, and she didn’t know how to get him back, the fond Jasper with the possessive glint in his eyes. She hovered, torn between storming away in a fit of newly claimed independence and buckling under in pleading submission.

  Neither appealed to her.

  The stern set of Jasper’s jaw softened, but he shook his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He took a step back, another, then turned and made his way through the crowd.

  He left her alone, swaying for reasons that had nothing to do with music. The room swirled around her, heat and music and warm bodies, but Lex had vanished and Rachel was just as absent, and no amount of alcohol made seeking sanctuary in Ace’s arms seem like a safe option. She was stranded in a crowd of strangers who were supposed to be her family.

  And Jasper had left her alone. To her horror, tears stung her eyes. She whirled to follow him, ready to beg for forgiveness if she had to, and slammed into a solid chest instead.

  Brendan caught her before she pitched over. “Chin up,” he murmured, “and dance with me. Jas is mad at himself, not you.”

  Hearing so many words from the usually quiet man shocked her into compliance, and she had both hands around his neck before she knew it. She didn’t think he’d said two words to her before tonight, but he and Jasper seemed friendly. “Are you sure?”

  “Positive.”

  “I didn’t help much.” She dropped her forehead to Brendan’s shoulder with a groan. “I am too drunk. I keep saying things that aren’t a good idea.”

  He patted her back. “All the more reason to take the night slow.”

  Brendan was solid like Jasper. She supposed he was attractive, too—not handsome like Ace, but appealing in a raw, starkly masculine sort of way. Her body appreciated being pressed up against his every bit as much as it had approved of Lex, even though his touch was friendly, not seductive. Noelle sighed shakily. “He’s the one who started all the fondling. It seems unfair now.”

  A crooked grin curved Bren’s lips. “Life, Noelle. I heard it’s like that.”

  She made a face at him. “Who would ever believe I’d have more luck getting sex in Eden than I have in the heart of O’Kane territory?”

  “Well, you’re looking at it backwards.” He spun her slowly under one upraised arm before drawing her close again. “You can go anywhere and get fucked. You come here to get it good.”

  This time, pressed against him, she shivered. “You O’Kane men are all very confident.”

  “That sounded almost like a complaint.”

  The words came without warning, bubbling up and out in a tangled jumble. “He wants me to figure out what I want but he won’t give it to me and something tells me he won’t be any happier if I get it from someone else.”

  Bren brushed his thumb over her lower lip and nodded. “Now you’re starting to catch on.”

  She licked the pad of his thumb. “Maybe I’ll just decide not to care if he likes it or not.”

  “If you figure out how to stop giving a shit whenever you want, let me know how, huh?”

  Time to be bold. Time to be a fearless member of the O’Kane gang instead of a sheltered fool from the city. She bit the tip of his thumb and gave him what she hoped was a sultry look. “I could start by having sex like everyone else.”

  He shook his head, a genuine look of regret painting his features. “Nah, you don’t want me. I’m convenient, that’s all. But I appreciate the offer.”

  “You’re more than convenient,” she protested, because it was the only thing to do other than sink into the floor and die of mortification.

  “Are you always this apologetic?”

  Noelle hesitated. Considered. “I suppose...yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because that’s what I was raised to be.” She dropped her cheek to his shoulder and closed her eyes. “I was supposed to marry an important man and entertain his important friends. I was supposed to be invisible except for when I was supposed to be decorative, and capable enough to keep everything running smoothly. If anyone was dissatisfied with anything, it meant I wasn’t doing my job.”

  Bren pressed his lips to her temple. “But you’re not in Eden anymore.”

  His touch was almost tender, and Noelle melted against him. “I thought you were supposed to be scary, but you’re sweet.”

  “I’m both, darling. Most everyone here is.” He paused. “Remember that.”

  Lex

  She ducked into the closest room with a door that locked. The storeroom was packed high with boxes, but it also held an extra corner booth from the Broken Circle, its table stripped away, leaving only a semicircle of plush black leather.

  She didn’t have to wait long.

  Dallas closed the door and twisted the lock. “Your little pet’s growing up fast.”

  “Isn’t she?” Lex backed up to the wall beside the leather seat. “It’s enough to give a woman ideas.”

  “Why am I not surprised?” He slid onto the leather and stretched his arms across the back of the booth. “The boys are stroking their dicks half raw imagining what you do to her every night when you close your bedroom door.”

  She eased onto the seat beside him. “You don’t have to imagine. You could watch.”

  He arched an eyebrow. “Is that an invitation to start something, or confirmation that you’re corrupting her when the lights go out?”

  It was hard to tell which answer he preferred. “It could be an invitation,” she murmured. “If Jas doesn’t mark her soon, you could step in. No one would fault you for it.”

  “No one except Jas.” Dallas continued to study her. “I can’t tell if you want me to fuck Noelle or collar her, but I’m sure as hell not doing the latter.”

  “Don’t you like her?”

  “She’s not my type, love. If Jas handles her right, he’ll have a sweet little sub to pet and cuddle. That’s fun for a night or two, but it’s not for me.”

  And yet Lex could have sworn that was exactly what Dallas wanted—a woman who would gladly, happily be owned. “I think it might be—under the right circumstances.”

  His dark gaze didn’t shift from her face. “And what are those?”

  Always so intense, and it was that intensity that drew her closer even as she felt locked into place. Ensnared.

/>   Lex straddled his leg and settled with her hand resting lightly on his fly. “I know what you were thinking the other night. What you wanted to see while she was sucking your dick.”

  His expression remained bland, but his dick hardened. “What did I want to see?”

  She leaned in, putting her mouth close to his. “My head between those pretty, pale thighs, for starters.”

  “Your head between anyone’s thighs is a hot sight.” He stroked her cheek and then brushed his thumb over her lips. “You’ve never been under me. You don’t know what I do with the women in my bed.”

  The lack of personal experience was irrelevant. “I know what you like, Dallas. What gets you off. I pay attention.”

  He nodded once. “And when you bring Noelle to my bed? What do you imagine we’ll do with her? It would be both of us, wouldn’t it?”

  “Nothing so inflexible.” Lex grinned and tugged at his pants until the button and zipper both opened under her fingers. “Did you like watching her touch me?”

  Dallas growled. “What do you think, Lex?”

  His cock jumped in her hand, rigid and hot. “You liked it. Maybe...” She fought to steady her breathing and stroked him slowly. “Maybe you’re more interested in watching her eat my pussy. You’d have to teach her how.”

  “I think we’re into your fantasies now.” He sank a hand into her hair. “Not that I wouldn’t enjoy the hell out of watching her lick you with her shy little tongue. It’d take her forever, but that’s part of the fun, isn’t it?”

  “Part of it.” The rest was the thought of control, both seizing and relinquishing it.

  Maybe it showed on her face, or maybe he just knew her that well. “She’d do anything I told her to. I don’t think you’d be as obedient.”

  “You don’t want me to be.” Lex leaned over and let her hair trail over his dick.

  He jerked the hair he held twisted around his hand and hauled her head up. “When I want your obedience, I’ll get it.”

  He seemed so sure of that, as sure as he was of everything else, and the realization both terrified and comforted her. There was no mountain Dallas O’Kane couldn’t climb. No woman, either.

  She swallowed hard. “Noelle would mind herself, kneel at your feet and await your command. So would that new girl—Six.”

  “Probably,” he agreed mildly. “Noelle doesn’t know any better, and Six has been beaten down.”

  “Not me.” An unpleasant possibility drew Lex up short, and she stared at him. “Is it a problem?”

  “Now what part of what I just said made it sound like a problem, Lexie? You think I want you to be clueless?” His hand relaxed, cupping the back of her neck as he smoothed his thumb over her throat. “You think I want you beaten?”

  “No,” she whispered. “But I’m starting to think you don’t want me to be the way that I am.”

  Dallas sighed and closed his eyes. “There’s what’s good for the gang, what’s good for business, and what’s good for you. What I want doesn’t rate on the list most days.”

  She couldn’t let him own her, but it still hurt to watch him like this. “Is this about Trent?”

  “It’s about you being exposed.” Dallas released her and refastened his pants. “I like you just the way you are, Lex. I don’t want to put you on a leash. But you stand out, and that’s not safe for you.”

  She barely heard the words, all her attention focused on his hands. He was getting good at that, at pulling away when she wanted to bring him closer. At one time, her touch had melted his resistance, and it had been enough. But now...

  Distance. She could feel it, a chasm yawning between them, and a blowjob wouldn’t fix it. She’d been so damn careful not to challenge him outright, never to compromise his authority.

  Somehow, she’d failed.

  Lex couldn’t stop the words that tumbled out. “You don’t want me on a leash, but that’s what they’d like to see, isn’t it? It’s what they understand.” She caught his wrist. “Collar me. Give them the show they need.”

  Dallas hauled her down into his lap. “Say that again?”

  It sounded like a request, except for the intense thread of command in his voice. “A collar,” she repeated softly. “Not for real, I mean. We’ll know the truth.”

  “A collar. For show.” A low laugh shook his chest. “Don’t lie to yourself, Lex. You’re smarter than that. You and I can’t share a bed for show.”

  He’d have her on her knees every night, screaming herself hoarse. “I’m not talking about fucking.” She held his gaze. “I’m talking about control. Enough to satisfy anyone who thinks I’m stringing you along by your dick.”

  He gave her a too-serious look, ruined only by the twitch of his lips. “Aren’t you?”

  She didn’t bother to be careful where she put her knees as she climbed off his lap. “Go ahead and laugh at me, Dallas. Like I give a shit.”

  He uncoiled like a spring, shooting half off the couch to drag her against him. This time, he closed his hands around her arms and trapped her, her back to his chest. “This is all my fault. I let you get away with shit none of the others would dare, and you’re so used to it you don’t even realize.”

  She struggled, her own fury rising. “Then don’t do me any more fucking favors. Treat me like everyone else.”

  “I’d turn anyone else over my damn knee right about now. Settle the hell down.”

  Lex stilled, forcing herself to slowly breathe in and out. “Can I go now?”

  “No.” His grip eased, caging her without crushing her. “We haven’t discussed the collar yet. It’s a good idea, if we can do it without killing each other.”

  “It’s not the only solution.” She craned her neck to look back at him. “I can find someone else. You didn’t want me, simple as that.”

  “I think we both know that’s bullshit.”

  Which part? “Then you’re stuck with me, Declan.”

  “Mmm.” He rubbed his thumbs over the backs of her arms, stroking in slow, lazy circles. “The collar might be for show, but I’m not a noble man. You know you can’t fuck anyone else while you’re wearing it.”

  She shivered. “It wouldn’t be very convincing if I did. Unless you were with me.”

  “And I will be.” Dallas pressed his mouth to her ear. “Put yourself in my hands, Lexie. Just a little. Let me keep you safe, and I’ll make it worth anything you have to give up.”

  You had to have something in order to give it up, and what did she have? Desire, a longing so primal it felt as if it had always been a part of her. His lips grazed her ear again, and Lex released a shaky breath. “How will you do that?”

  “You’ll see, love. Soon enough, you’ll see.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Jasper was halfway into a bottle when someone pounded on his door. Noelle’s voice followed, low and intent. “Please let me in. I forgot to put on pants.”

  Of course. Groaning, he rubbed a hand over his face and opened the door. “What the fuck are you doing with no pants on?”

  “Bren put me to bed.” She ducked under his arm without waiting for an invitation, padding into his room on bare feet. “I got up after he was gone, but I’ve never been to your room before. I knocked on three wrong doors.”

  Jesus Christ, she was in her underwear, tiny black panties that bared more than half of her ass. “Well, here you are. What do you want?”

  She wandered over to his punching bag and traced her fingers over the leather. “This is the first time we’ve been alone together. In private, I mean. You never touch me when we’re alone together, only in front of other people.”

  He’d thought it the most expedient way to cut through the inexperience she sometimes wore like armor. “You don’t like it?”

  “I like it when you touch me in front of other people.” She wandered around the punching bag, dragging her hand across it until she’d made a full circle and was facing him. She was still drunk, sleepy-eyed and loose-tongued, and she kept talking
, raw truth tumbling past her lips. “I like it more than I feel like I should. Sometimes I wish you’d just tell me I’m bad. Take me over your knee and spank me and let me pretend I’m atoning for my sins instead of committing a new one by wanting your hand on my ass until it’s all I can think about.”

  Maybe it wasn’t a hurdle to get past, an obstacle to surmount. Maybe Ace was right, and the punishment was part of her pleasure. “Bend over the table.”

  Her breathing hitched. “Don’t tease me.”

  He swept his arm across the table, shoving his keys, wallet, and books to the floor. “Now, Noelle.”

  Wide-eyed, she crossed the room and bent forward until her elbows rested on the table. Her scant tank top slid up her spine, revealing the generous curve of her hips and how skimpy her panties really were.

  He took another swig of whiskey and set the bottle aside. “Is this what you want?” he asked, teasing his fingertips above the top edge of her panties. “For me to spank your ass until you can’t sit down, tell you how naughty you are for wanting it?”

  “Yes,” she whispered. “Only you don’t want me to feel dirty. I can’t even do this right.”

  “I don’t want you to believe everything those bastards in the city told you. But if you like it...” He scratched her skin lightly and dragged her panties down. “If you really like it, Noelle, I’ll punish you.”

  She shifted her weight uncertainly. “I don’t know why I want it. I don’t know how to find out without doing it.”

  He stared down at her pale skin, but he didn’t touch her again until he hit her, his palm smacking hard against her flesh. Noelle gasped, sucking in air before releasing it in a hungry, helpless little noise.

  Instead of slapping her this time, he wound his other hand in her hair and pulled her head back. “What do you like about it? Tell me.”

  “I don’t know,” she whispered, scraping her nails over the table. “It hurts, but not really. And I don’t—” She bit her lip.

  He slid his hand around to the front of her throat. “You don’t what?”

  She swallowed. “I don’t have to feel guilty for liking the shame, because that’s the point.”