A Ride or Die Kind of Love

by Chelsea Camaron

  Chapter Ten

  Skylar

  I can’t get out of this bar fast enough, my heart about to beat out of my chest as I slam open the doors, craving the fresh air to help settle my racing pulse. Seeing Mira was there with a fucking guy; she didn’t even say goodbye when she left! I moved into her fucking apartment, to be close to her, and she leaves me. Am I the only one who sees how fucking twisted that is?

  I was so hurt by Mira that night, the blessed night that she first let me love her, hold her, make her mine…and then called me ‘Danny.” In anger; stupid, irrational, selfish anger, I just wanted to hurt her back. I felt like we had something that we could build on and it crushed me to hear a name, other than my own, leave her lips after I’d just been the one to kiss them.

  If Danny were still alive, none of this would even be a worry, an unmerciful ache deep in my chest that never lets up, even in the bit of sleep I sometimes actually find. If he were still here, he’d still be with her, and I’d still be in the background, none the wiser of how sweet my forbidden fruit actually tastes. I would have been one helluva best man, proudly standing next to my best friend while he married the girl of my dreams. But shit didn’t work out that way; Danny was taken from Mira and me.

  And I am yet again broken.

  No sooner than I finally connected with her, she left me. I missed her from the moment she turned to walk out, and every second in between… and I’d kill to touch her right now.

  “Shut up, Skylar, she didn’t leave you, she was never yours,” I say to myself as I barrel down the highway.

  Her pillow, the one I stole before she came back for her stuff, still smells like her hair; the perfect mix of fresh mint and sexy. Her green bottle of shampoo and conditioner is still in the shower, right where she left it. I tried to use it, but it wasn’t the same.

  There was just something about Mira.

  There was always something about Mira.

  Thank God for my MC, The Hooliganz, the only place I feel like I belong anymore. I didn’t even have to start as a probie; pretty badass. Those guys put the probies through hell, like literal hell. No sleep, no drinks, no bitches. Basically they can only do what they are told until they prove themselves worthy. My uncle was a Hooligan, so I didn’t have to do any of that shit. I came right in with a full patch. A lot of the guys weren’t happy about it, but they soon realized that I was a good brother.

  I don’t know how long I watched her at that bar, dancing with Kylee, before she noticed me. She looked so carefree, just dancing and swaying sensually to the beat of the music. I wonder if she felt the same pull as I did when our eyes met. I know my breath hitched, just a bit. I think I saw something in her eyes, but I couldn’t be sure. When she walked over to the table with those two jackasses, I just knew I was going to lose my shit. Did she know those guys? She seemed to have some sort of relationship with the tall one, not looking nervous at all.

  I think that’s what bothered me most, how quickly it would appear she has moved on, comfortable on the arm of another man.

  I ride just a little faster, to nowhere in particular, trying to find some peace. But no matter how far or fast I ride, I know I won’t outrun it…love lost.

  I just want to ride hard and ride fast. I need to get away from all of these emotions that took me so long to bury. After one fucking year, they come back and slap me in the fucking face. I can’t believe she left with that tool after seeing me. It was like we were never anything at all. Did she love him? “FUCK,” I yell.

  I will find a way to get her back in my arms. I will apologize for making her feel like I fucked that skank after we had just been together. I haven’t fucked anyone since Mira. Sure, I have had my dick sucked by random bitches. I have tried to have sex; don’t get me wrong. Every single goddamn time I am about to stick it to some girl, I automatically go limp. It’s like once I had her, nobody ever compares. Mira has ruined my sex life and she’s with another man, probably having sex. I feel like my heart is going to pound right out of my chest.

  It’s past time to devise a plan to get us together. I need to get her somewhere alone and at least talk to her. Maybe once she hears I didn’t sleep with Heather, we can try again.

  I don’t even bother going back to the clubhouse after my ride. I don’t want to hear any shit from the guys about me getting pissed off over a bitch. No matter how I feel inside, I have to keep it there. I have worked way too hard for them to just think of me as a pussy whipped bitch. Skylar McBride is pussy whipped over no bitch. Well, never mind, maybe just this one bitch.

  Maybe if I talk to Kylee, I can get my foot in the door. After all, it was Kylee that helped me out last time. With that thinking, I pick up my phone and send a text. I would call but it’s somewhere around five in the morning and I don’t want to wake them or know if they are still with those jackasses.

  Ky... Hey, it’s Skylar. It was great to see you. You should come by the clubhouse tomorrow night. It’s our anniversary party and is open to the public. It’ll be a good time.

  Text sent. Now all I have to do is find something to do until she wakes up to respond. I guess I could go for a run. Sleep doesn’t come very easy for me these days. I’m either plagued with the memory of Danny or the memory of Mira. I can’t escape either of them. The only two people in this world I have ever loved are just memories to me.

  As I was change into some black track pants and a wife beater, my phone buzzes. Well, not buzzed, more of a whistle that sounds like R2D2 from Star Wars. Standing there in just my boxers, I grab my phone to see an incoming text from Kylee.

  Yeah. Totally sounds like a good time. Do you mind if I bring Mira with me? I came home to visit her and don’t just want to leave her stranded.

  Mira is the smartest girl I have ever known and is going to smell this one from a mile away. “Play this one smart Sky. You’re only getting one more chance,” I say to myself before responding to Kylee’s last text.

  If you want to bring her with you, I guess -- I really don’t want to hang out with her. We haven’t talked in a long time. We’re two different people now. I would prefer to hang with just you, but if the only way I can catch up with you is with Mira there, then so be it -- See ya tomorrow Ky.

  As I hit send, I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. I didn’t want to use Kylee like that but at the same time, I know that I can’t just go and see Mira.

  Thank sweet baby Jesus that Ky text me back so quickly. I’m not in the mood for a run. I need to get some sleep and a lot of it.

  Pushing the running clothes off the bed I set out a few minutes ago, I pull the blankets off and climb in. I probably should take a shower but I’m just too exhausted to do anything. My mind keeps wandering to Mira and what she’s doing. Is she beneath that jackass right now? Is she screaming his name? Just thinking about her being naked gets me so hard I can’t stand it.

  Reaching in my boxers, I grab my hard cock and start to stroke it. Remembering how amazing Mira’s pussy feels. When I had her, she was soaking wet. If I had known that I wouldn’t get another chance to sleep with her, I would have taken more time. Thinking of her rubbing herself, paying special attention to her clit and offering me a taste of her cunt. That might have been the single most erotic moment of my entire life.

  That memory alone has me coming so hard, I swear, I see stars and for a split second I can taste Mira’s sweet nectar. How pathetic is it that a memory of one erotic moment does more for me than a blowjob from someone who could be considered a professional? Now that I finally got to blow a nut, I might be able to get some much needed sleep.

  I get a towel and clean off my hand and cock. Throwing the towel to the hamper in the corner of my sparse room, I drift off to sleep.

  I couldn’t have been asleep for more than a couple hours, when I’m awoken by the strangest dream of my life. Most of my dreams I can’t remember, but this dream was almost reality.

  “Skylar, man, what the shit is going on?” Danny yells at me. “I asked you o
ne fucking thing. Call it a dying man’s last request if you must, but really just one fucking thing. Why was that so hard?” Danny continued.

  “Danny? What the hell is going on?” I asked him confused. How can a dead man talk to you and even worse have an argument with you?

  “Think about that night Skylar. Think about what happened. What did I ask of you? You’re my brother and what did I ask?” Danny seethed.

  Danny grabbed my face and pulled it to where our eyes were only inches apart. I could see anger in his eyes. But they weren’t Danny’s eyes. They were cold and black. They were dead.

  “Think about it Skylar. Think about it long and hard,” Danny said as I jolted awake.

  I am still shaking. I’m a grown ass man who doesn’t get scared and I’m terrified of a nightmare. I haven’t thought about that night in such a long time. I have blocked out those memories. Why does Danny want me to remember them? What does a dead man want with me?

  I lie back on my pillow and try to replay the events of that night in my head. I keep coming up blank. I need to figure out a way to get over this mind block. I have to remember. There is a reason for everything and Danny needs me to remember. “I have to remember,” I kept saying to myself.

  Finally, bits and pieces start to come through. As I remember more and more about the accident and the events following, it’s almost as if a tidal wave hits my brain and all of the suppressed memories come through so vividly.

  I found Danny lying on the side of the highway. He wasn’t moving. The closer I got, I couldn’t see his chest rising, taking breaths. The closer I got to him; I noticed that his breaths were shallow and short. I ran the rest of the way and scooped him up in my arms, while I was sitting on the shoulder that was polluted with trash, pieces of his bike and earth. I held him in my lap and rocked him back and forth, with tears streaming down my face. Danny looked at me and then shut his eyes.

  “Danny, please. Please keep your eyes open,” I cried. I started slapping his face trying to keep him awake.

  His clothes were ripped to shreds and he was bleeding almost everywhere. His helmet was still attached to his head but the visor that was meant to protect his eyes was missing and the inside lining was covered in Danny’s blood and pushed down across his face.

  Danny started coughing and making strangling sounds. I reached in the helmet and pushed the lining as far up as I could, trying to relieve pressure from his mouth and nose.

  I have watched enough medical drama shows on TV that I know this was not a good sign. Actually, this was a terrible sign, but I pushed that thought from my mind.

  “Danny, I’m not fucking with you, stay with me bro. Come on. I called for help, just a little while longer,” I pleaded with him.

  Danny slightly opened his eyes and looked right at me through his lashes. He gave me a small grin. Danny’s teeth were coated with thick red blood. I don’t know if he broke any teeth or if he was coughing up blood. By the sounds he was making a few moments ago, I tried not to think the worse, but I knew in my soul that he was not going to make it.

  “Sky,” Danny choked out, “take care of Mira.”

  “No bro, this is not the end. Just hang on,” I told him.

  “HELP. HELP ME PLEASE. SOMEONE HELP ME,” I screamed out.

  Cars kept driving past, nobody stopping to help me. Still holding Danny in my arms, he looked at me again and started talking, “Sky, you’re my best friend,” he started coughing again, this time dark red moisture oozed from his mouth, “my brother.”

  Still coughing blood, I hugged him closer to my body. I whispered prayers for my friend to make it. Not to die and leave me alone

  “I promise,” I whispered.

  “Thank you,” Danny said showing a slight smile once again. The blood was spilling from his mouth even faster now.

  Still holding him tightly to my chest, I wiped the wetness from my face; I started to pray out loud, “Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.”

  I looked back over to where the girls were and an ambulance had arrived. The medics were getting Mira loaded into the back on a gurney and Kylee was pointing in our direction. One of the medics finally saw us sitting on the opposite side of the highway. He grabbed his medical bag and started to run in my direction. Finally!

  “Danny, help is here. Hold on man.”

  I looked down at Danny with a smile on my face. This isn’t the end; I knew it.

  “Danny,” I said. Nothing. “Danny,” I screamed while shaking him in my arms. He opened his eyes again and gave me another small grin and then the light in his eyes faded as they rolled back in his head. I felt his body go limp in my arms. More blood was trickling out of his mouth, landing on my clothes and the cement.

  “Oh God, please no. Please God; take me instead. Please no,” I sobbed, praying for something that would never be granted.

  By the time the medic made it over to us, Danny was dead. He tried to revive him on the spot with a portable defibrillator but it didn’t work. I sat there on the side of the highway while they wheeled him away on a gurney with a white sheet draped across his body. Covered in my best friend’s blood, I didn’t know exactly what to do. Where do I go? What do I do?

  I started to walk towards the ambulance that Mira was in when I heard a gut-wrenching scream come from that direction. Kylee was sitting on the bumper of the ambulance with her head buried in her hands shaking uncontrollably. I assumed she was crying and then I knew. They had just told the girls that Danny didn’t make it.

  I have to go to Mira. I have to take care of her. I have to be the support she needs. I guess that answers my questions.

  “He wants me to take care of Mira,” I whisper to myself. I know I have been missing something. My best friend asked me while he was dying to take care of his fiancé and I have failed miserably.

  “If anyone can do it, it’s you,” I reassure myself, knowing that if there was anyone out there that would love and cherish Mira, it was going to be me.

  Chapter Eleven

  Mira

  Kylee and I get back to my parents really late, or really early, whichever way you want to look at it. My emotions are on high alert. Did I really almost have sex with Jacoby? Oh hell, I probably would have.

  “Mi, go get some sleep. We have plans tonight,” Kylee whispers loudly as she walks past my bedroom towards the bathroom.

  I probably should wash all my makeup off, but I just don’t have the energy. I take off my bar clothes and throw on an oversized tee shirt that is almost to my knees. I can’t remember who this shirt belongs to, but it looks like something Skylar would wear. Something about this shirt is very comforting to me, so I let the owner of said shirt remain unknown for the time being.

  Kylee comes back into the bedroom with a clean face, changed into her cotton pants and tank top sleepwear... Even in pajamas, this girl is a knockout. She takes a hair tie from my nightstand and ties her red locks in a haphazard bun on the top of her head before climbing into bed with me.

  “Do you remember when you had those bunk beds?” She asks.

  Yes, oh God, do I remember.

  “I remember the bunk beds very well. When we were ten and arguing over who was going to marry Joey from New Kids on the Block. I think I kicked you, you fell off the top bunk and broke your tailbone.” I say, laughing.

  “Oh shit, you’re right. I never did win that argument did I?” Kylee asks and looks as if she was recalling the entire memory, then breaking into uncontrollable laughter

  “Shhhhh Ky. You’re going to wake my parents,” I say and then start laughing as hard as her, but much quieter.

  Remembering that Kylee told me we were going out again tonight, I roll on my side to face her. Her bun of auburn hair looks pretty comfortable so I take a hair tie and do the same thing to mine before I start to talk to her.

  “Where are we going tonight? Did Marcus ask you on a date and I’m coming along for support?” I joke.

  “No. I wish. He was a dead fish. Pa
ssed out before I could even get any. Imagine my surprise,” she says laughing. “But really, we’re going to some clubhouse. Sky sent me a text earlier, asking if I wanted to come hang out with him and see what he’s been up too.”

  “Oh. Well do you mind if I skip the reunion? I really don’t want to go to a clubhouse,” I say, rolling back towards my side of the bed.

  “Mi, come on. You guys haven’t even talked in like a year. He isn’t upset. I asked him if you could come too and he said yes, reluctantly, but he still said yes,” Kylee says.

  “What do you mean reluctantly? Like he doesn’t want me to go?” I question, rolling back over to gauge her expression, offended at the thought of Skylar having the problem with me.

  “Don’t read too much into it Mira. Please just come with me,” Kylee begs.

  If he doesn’t want me there, I don’t want to be there. I personally never want to be in the same room with him ever again. Things are still too fresh and hurt too bad, but I can’t be a bad friend. Every time I needed something, Kylee has been there for me, and the least I can do is be there for her.

  “Yeah, I guess I’ll go, but I’m drinking tonight and you’re driving. I don’t want to get stuck there.” I agree, begrudgingly.

  Getting comfortable on my pillow, I shut my eyes and pray for sleep. Sleep doesn’t come for quite a while, too many thoughts running through my head. What’s Skylar doing right now? Who is he with? Is he possibly thinking about me? Does he miss me?

  I don’t even know if I want the answers to these questions. I don’t know if my heart can take the answers and what I would do with them if I actually knew.

  A few hours later, the sunlight pours through my bedroom window and Kylee is snoring in my face.

  “Ky, wake up,” I say shaking her shoulders. I remember why I didn’t like sharing a bed with her and begging my parents for bunk beds when we were kids.

  “I’m up, I’m up. What’s going on?” Kylee asks rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.