by Maddie Wade
It was hollow and empty, and I had wanted nothing but to be part of this set and now I realise that I couldn’t think of a worse fate. They were all so fucking miserable, not one of them was happy not truly happy and for a second, I felt sorry for them.
They would never have what I had with Tinkerbell. I was about to leave when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
“Hey handsome,” Jade croons.
I spin on my heel and looked at her. She was still beautiful, but she tried too hard. I ran my eyes over her taking in the thousand-pound shoes and the tight belted pencil dress that probably cost as much as a car and felt nothing. Not hate, not malice, and certainly not attraction. “Jade,” I say as I remove the manacled hand that was on my arm, “shall we get a seat?”
“Of course, unless you would like to go somewhere more private?”
Fuck no, I do not. I thought but did not say it.
“Let’s get a table.” I steer her towards the table while she babbles about shit I didn’t care about. We sit, and she smooths her skirt over her thighs with a flirtatious look her eyes.
“So, Jacky, I was surprised to get your call. Did you finally wise up about that little gold-digger?” She turns her nose up as she speaks about Ashley and I steel myself not to lose my shit.
“No, Jade. I wanted to talk about what happened all those years ago, when we were kids.” I watch her try and frown and she looks a little embarrassed, but it is hard to tell with her face full of Botox.
“That was years ago, Jacky., We don’t need to rehash old news, it was teenage silliness.”
“It may have been silly for you but not for. I loved you in my own teenage way and you broke my heart. You set the scene for my entire school and college experience.”
“Well, I had to, Jacky.” She grabs my arm in a death grip again, her eyes tearing up. It was so false I almost laughed.
“So, they made you?”
“Well, no. But you have to understand, I have a certain image to maintain, but it’s okay now, you fit in. We can be together now.”
I laugh as I shake my head. “No fucking way. I wouldn’t touch you with someone else’s dick let alone my own. I feel sorry for you, Jade. You have no real friends, and you will never know love like I have with Ashley. She is everything you are not. Sweet, kind, she is so fucking beautiful on the inside and out and if I am lucky enough to win her love I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure she knows how much I love and cherish her.” I stand and shake her off me, her touch repulses me. I wasn’t lying I do feel sorry for her, her life is shallow and has no meaning.
“I feel sorry for you.” I drop some money on the table to cover our drinks and start to turn away, but her voice stops me.
“So why did you call me here? Just for revenge?” Her tone is cold, the real Jade is emerging.
“No, Jade. I wanted answers and I have a message from Eddie. He doesn’t want to be with you anymore. He’s moving all your clothes back to your parents.”
“How can you be so cruel?’ she asks with false tears in her eyes.
“I’m the Heartbreaker sweetheart and you made me.”
I do turn then and walk away. My heart stops when I see rainbow hair and a body made for sin rushing away from me. Oh God! What have I done? I chase after her one thought in my head. I need to fix this because my dull grey life without her is not worth living.
Chapter 31
Ashley
“I know you said that he should call you when he’s ready, but why don’t you just go see him?” Taylor sits on the chair in front of me, the shop has been so busy today that it’s nice to finally sit down. I know I haven’t been myself all day, and she would pick up on it straight away too.
“He’s not ready to talk to me, going there might just make it worse for me.” I look out the shop window, just watching the people walking past getting on with their day.
“I know that, but I really think that you should see him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this before.” Taylor leans closer to the table and takes my hand in hers. “You haven’t stopped thinking about him all week, and I bet if he saw you then he would talk.”
Maybe she is right, maybe if I stand in front of Jackson whatever he is scared to say to me, maybe he can say it. “Fine, once we close, I’ll shower and go over to his office,” I tell Tay. The main reason I said yes is because I know that I won’t hear the end of it until I go, or Jackson comes to me, and who said that only guys can make the first move.
“I can close up, so get your sexy self up those stairs, get dressed, and go get your man back.” Taylor pulls me off the chair and starts pushing me out the door, and this right here is why she is my best friend. I haven’t once moaned about Jackson, or said anything about how I’m feeling, she just knows that I’m missing him.
I miss the way he makes me smile, the way he hugs me and all I want to do is stay in his arms all day. I miss him so much that I haven’t been able to sleep all week, just hoping that he will knock on my door, but nothing.
I don’t even know what I’m going to say to him when I do see him. We have a lot to talk about, and at the moment I don’t think he’s ready to talk about it and I’m not ready to listen, but there is one thing I know. I miss him.
Getting out of the shower, I grab a dress, even though the weather is getting a little chilly now, I still like to wear my dresses. It’s around November when the trousers pop out for me. As I get dressed, I talk to myself as to what I’m going to say to Jackson when I see him. I’m hoping that just seeing me he will miss that much all the words will come out of his mouth without me saying anything to him.
Leaving the house, I walk up the road a little and wave down a taxi that says it’s free and give him Jackson’s work address. I’m hoping he’s still there. I never really asked him what his hours were, but I suppose his job doesn’t really have set hours in the office. I shake my head to get the thought out of it, I can’t jump to conclusions about his job, I need to hear it from him.
Paying the cab driver, I walk into the office, giving the lady behind the desk a smile. She looks at me up and down, stopping at my leg tattoo then her eyes move up again. “Hello,” she greets me.
“Hi, I was hoping I could talk to Jackson,” I say giving her my best smile. She doesn’t really look like a woman I would want to mess with.
“He’s out.” Again her eyes wander over my tattoos. I watch as she narrows her eyebrows together. “Are you Ashley?”
“Yes, Jackson’s…” What am I at the moment, girlfriend, or his ex-girlfriend?
“His girlfriend.” Well that answers that question for me then, I laugh to myself.
“You don’t happen to know where he is?” I ask her, I have no idea if she knows what his job really is, but she looks like she keeps his books together.
“He had a meeting.”
“Please…” I pause as I remember she didn’t give me her name.
“Lindy.”
“Please, Lindy, I really need to talk to him, I’m not sure what you know about us…”
“I know that he was stupid, and that he’s acting like a baby not talking to you.”
So, Jackson has told her more than I thought, good to know.
“I’ve given him time, and my friend said that maybe if he sees me then he will talk to me, I hope she is right otherwise I’m about to make a right fool of myself,” I say, and a nervous laugh escapes me. Lindy’s eyes focused on me, and I plead with her to tell me.
“He’s at the Milton, should be in the bar.” She gives me a look that I’m not sure means ‘go get him’, or ‘be careful with what you see’. That must mean he’s with a girl, breaking their heart.
I go to leave but stop in my tracks and turn to Lindy. “Can I ask you something?” She gives me a nod. “Do you know what Jackson does?”
“I do, and you would think I would leave, but that idiot is stuck with me.” She starts laughing.
Licking my lips, I’m not sure how to say the next part
without sounding like I’m judging his job. “Does he hurt their feelings?” I ask almost in a whisper. I know that if a girl is one hundred percent in the relationship then it’s going to hurt no matter what, but is he mean about it?
“That boy is a lot of things, but…” She stops talking, then looks behind me as though someone is coming. She takes in a deep breath. “Come with me.” She nudges her head, and I follow her into the office behind her. “I know what he’s like, he will fight with himself until he figures out how to explain everything the best way, but there is one thing I won’t let people think of him.” She sits down as I look around the office, this place is so Jackson, God, give me five minutes in here, and this place would be so much more than white walls. “That boy wouldn’t hurt anyone.” She gets off the seat, and points to it for me to sit, and as I do she leaves.
Turning to the screen, I see I’m on the website, but it’s the page I couldn’t get into. What is this page? Scrolling down I see a name.
Evie - You would think getting my heart broken would be horrible, and getting it done by someone else and not your boyfriend would be worse, but not with Jackson. The words that left his mouth were so soft and sweet. He told me that I was worth more than my ex, a man that was too scared to even break up with me. Jackson made me smile, he made me understand that I can do better.
Kate - The only thing I want to say to Jackson is, thank you for making me believe I’m worth more.
Julie - The heartbreaker is his name, but he is so much more, he might have broken my heart, but Jackson fixed it just as quick.
As I scroll down more and more, they are only good things about him, not one girl has said Jackson hurt them, or made them cry. Some even said they sometimes call Jackson just to let him know how they are doing. Maybe I got this all wrong.
Turning the computer off, I make my way to Milton’s, but then I’m fighting myself about going. Should I give him time? But I want to see him too.
I let my feet to the talking for me this time and go where they take me. I mean it to me seems forever, thirty minutes walking around in a circle, but then I’m walking into the Milton, and head straight to the bar. I see him sitting at the table with—I take a better look—Jade. That’s his ex. Why is he here with his ex? I move in closer hoping that I can hear what they are talking about, and all I can think about was if he was using me to get back with her?
I don’t hear everything Jade says, but I hear the last part. “We can be together now.”
I hear Jackson laughing, and it’s not a laugh to say his agreeing to it by far, it’s more of a laugh that shouts, I don’t think so.
“No fucking way, I wouldn’t touch you with someone else’s dick let alone my own. I feel sorry for you, Jade. You have no real friends, and you will never know love like I have with Ashley. She is everything you are not. Sweet, kind, she is so fucking beautiful on the inside and out and if I am lucky enough to win her love I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure she knows how much I love and cherish her.” He stands, and I quickly move behind the wall. “I feel sorry for you.” I hear him tell her.
“So why did you call me here? Just for revenge?” I hear Jade and her tone is a little bitchier this time.
“No, Jade. I wanted answers and I have a message from Eddie. He doesn’t want to be with you anymore. He is moving all your clothes back to your parents.”
Oh, wow I didn’t see that coming, I peek around the wall, and by the looks of it, neither did she. I see Jackson about to turn around, and I make that my cue to leave. I want Jackson to talk to me, I do, but after everything I’ve seen and heard I want him to come to me when he is ready.
Walking out of the building, I hear Jackson shouting my name, but I pretend I can’t hear him. I mean what the hell should I say to him? I got Lindy to tell me where you were, so I can spy on you, now that makes me sound like a freak.
“Tinkerbell,” Jackson shouts and just hearing him call me that, I stop. I stop in the middle of the busy crowd. I look at him just staring at me. “You changed your hair.” He smiles, I want him to kiss me, I’ve missed him kissing me. “I like it.”
“Thanks, I was just...I wanted to see you, then I saw Jade…”
“That’s not what you think…”
“I know, I heard I little of it, and Lindy showed me a few things.” I stop for a moment and look around.
“Can we go back to my place, so we can talk?” Jackson takes my hand in his, his thumb rubbing my wrist, and he looks down and sees my new tattoo, it’s the symbol for strength “Let’s talk.”
*~*~*
We finally get to Jackson’s house, we didn’t really talk on the way here. “Would you like anything to drink?”
“No, thank you,” I tell him as I put my bag on the floor and sit on the couch. I watch him walking to the kitchen and I wait, I’m so nervous at the moment.
Jackson sits next to me. “I’m sorry, I know I should have told you about my job.” Jackson stops and takes a sip of his water. “When we first got together I thought we were so different it would never last, but the more time we spent together, the more I liked you, then one day I woke up next to you and I had fallen in love with you. I knew if I told you what I did, you would walk away from us and I just couldn’t let that happen.”
Jackson moves closer to me and I just stare at him. “Why did you walk away at the hospital? The time I needed you, you weren’t there for me.” The reason I’m not talking about his job at the moment is because he walked away when I needed him the most and he knew I wanted him to be there.
“I was scared that I wasn’t good enough for you.”
I not my head, as I think about what he just said. He thinks he’s not good enough for me. “And what happens tomorrow? What if you get scared again?”
“This week away from you has been the longest week of my life. I’ve hated every second of it without you in it, and that scares me a lot more. I know that I love you and I want to be with you, and if I’m lucky to have a second chance with you, I promise, that I’ll never walk away from you again.”
I look at his face, his eyes are pleading me, begging me to give him a chance. I already know that I’m going to work this out with Jackson, I don’t want to walk away from him.
“Your work, I don’t like that you kept that a secret from me, I mean it’s your job.”
“Tinkerbell I ….”
“Jackson, I saw the comments girls left on the site.” I stop him he's going to keep trying to get me to see things his way, but he doesn’t have to, With what I read and with what I heard him say to Jade, there isn’t a part of me that thinks this is the worst job in the world. He’s making sure that the girls know that they are still special, and a stupid boyfriend shouldn’t make you feel like crap.
“Lindy,” Jackson says more to himself than to me.
“I admit at first, I was mad that this is what you do. But reading the comments, in a weird way I’m proud that my boyfriend did this to make girls feel good about themselves, but if we’re dating and…”
“You don’t want me to give up the company?” Jackson asks with a shocked tone to his voice.
“No, I just won’t want you to be breaking up with girls,” I tell him. From what I’d read on the website he's made this company himself, and as I have grown my own business, I know that it’s hard work, and closing it down would be stupid.
“I had different ideas for the business, but if you’re happy with what my new idea is, then it would be amazing.”
“Tell me this new idea of yours.”
“I was thinking about changing it to a dating service called Diamond Dates. I was thinking about hiring someone to help with this part of the business, and it will also open up to women wanting to break up with men.” He stops as my facial expression changes. I wasn’t expecting him to get new people, but it looks like he has thought hard about this. “We will keep all the information from the women and men that we already have, and work on a dating service that way.”
>
I stay quiet, I’m not sure if I’m the one that has to say yes to him about this, I mean this is his job, he needs to know that it will work.
“Tinkerbell, you’ve been quiet a little longer than I thought.” I can feel his hand rubbing my forearm. “If this job is a deal breaker for us, then I’ll find a new job.”
“No, this company is your baby, just like the shop is mine. Jackson, I love you, and I want you to be happy…”
“I’m happy when I’m with you.” Jackson cuts me off and crashes his lips on mine. “I want you to be happy,” he says leaning his forehead on mine. “I want to be with you,” he then whispers.
Jackson pulls me in closer to him and holds me there, kissing the top of my head. I sigh and lean into him, this where I know I belong in his arms like this. Jackson tilts my head up with his knuckle, so I look at him, my eyes moving between his eyes and mouth, and before I can move Jackson’s lips are on mine, his tongue searching my lips, waiting for me to let him in.
I moan against his mouth and Jackson pulls me closer pressing my breasts against his chest. Without breaking the kiss, Jackson stands up, and his hand moves down my body to my ass. I can feel his hardness against my belly. Jackson moans and lifts me up and walks to his bedroom.
Tenderly laying me on the bed, Jackson continues to kiss my face and neck. Moving his hand up my thigh, he brings my dress up with his hand, before breaking away from my lips and pulling the dress over my head. My hands grab the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it over his head. As the t-shirt goes over his head, I see something different on him. Before he can put his arms back down, I grab his left arm, and pull it closer to me.
I look back at him then his arm. What did he do? I stare at the small Tinkerbell Tattoo on his inner bicep. “I love you Tinkerbell.” With that said he kisses me again, and I want to cry that this man loves me so much he got a tattoo to prove it.
