The Memory of Snow

by Kirsty Ferry

  ‘I know exactly who you are,’ he sneered. ‘You’re one of them.’

  Liv felt a cold, sharp point at her throat and gasped. She didn’t need to see it, to know it was the bone-handled knife.

  ‘Ryan – no!’ she cried.

  2010

  Liv felt the sharp point of the knife press into her throat. It wasn’t a big knife, but it could easily puncture an artery. She was lying on her back and Ryan had his knee across her chest. He pressed down on her arm with his other hand, holding her with inhuman strength. Ryan raised the knife in the air, and Liv knew he was going to bring it down and pierce her skin.

  It never ends, she thought, the evil never ends…

  Ryan roared and Liv cried out, squeezing her eyes shut and waiting for the inevitable. Then suddenly she felt the pressure lift off her chest and Ryan was flung off her, rolling into a heap on the side of the boggy ground by the Well. There was a tiny clatter as the knife rolled out of his hand and bounced off a rock.

  Through her closed eyelids, Liv saw a shimmering rainbow of light and felt cool hands touching her hair.

  ‘She’s all right,’ said a voice. ‘He hasn’t harmed her.’ The soft Northumbrian burr was unmistakeable.

  ‘Meggie..’ whispered Liv. ‘Meggie?’

  ‘Sssh, yes, Olivia. It’s me,’ replied Meggie. ‘We have to be quick – he’s going to get up in a minute. Aemelia can’t hold him back for long.’

  Liv scrambled to her feet and found she was looking into Meggie’s clear grey eyes again.

  ‘He’s getting stronger,’ said Meggie. ‘He’s using the boy’s body and mind. It’s not your friend who is lying there.’

  ‘But if that’s Hay, where’s Ryan?’ cried Liv. She saw the boy rolling on the ground in agony and shouting out. He looked as if he was trying to fight whatever was in him. Aemelia was standing over him, an invisible shield holding him in place by the Well. ‘Why did Hay come back?’ asked Liv. She ran forward towards Ryan and Aemelia.

  ‘Stay away, Olivia!’ commanded Aemelia. She turned her face to Liv, her dark eyes frightened. ‘He is getting stronger.’ Ryan rolled onto his front and arched his back. He glared up at Liv. She could see his face changing and distorting, as if Ryan was trying to come back and batter Hay into the boggy ground. Ryan - or Hay - shouted out a stream of obscenities and began to crawl across the grass towards Liv. Liv backed away, and Meggie slipped herself in between the two teenagers. She watched Ryan like a lioness ready to pounce. He bounced off the invisible shield and tumbled over onto his side again. He raked around on the ground, looking for the knife. Unable to find it, he was up on his feet, punching at the shield, trying to break out of it. Ripples of light rolled out, away from his fist as he pounded against the energy.

  ‘We didn’t make the circle properly,’ Meggie said. ‘Hay broke it before it had a chance to connect our energies. We have to try again. It’s the only way we can stop his evil from infecting this place.’

  ‘But I cannot leave Hay to join you!’ cried Aemelia. ‘If I move from here, he will attack Olivia.’ Liv could see the energy around Aemelia breaking up; splinters of light like shooting stars were falling to the ground and sputtering on the grass.

  ‘We have to do it,’ said Liv, staring at Ryan. ‘We have to take the chance. If we move quickly…’

  ‘Hay can move more quickly,’ countered Aemelia. ‘Trust me. Meggie...?’ Her voice tailed off.

  ‘Olivia is right. We have to try,’ said Meggie. Her voice was tight. She moved silently to Aemelia and took her hand. Meggie glanced around them. Her eyes fixed on a group of tall, green plants. Tiny, white, fluffy flowers like daisies burst out from the top of each stem. ‘Yarrow,’ she murmured. ‘The devil’s nettle – bloodwort. It will give us courage and boost our powers. It will help drive Hay’s spirit out of the boy. The soldiers of Carrawburgh would have used it to staunch the bleeding. And Solomon’s Seal.’ She spotted a plant with arching stems and white, bell-like flowers drooping from it. Meggie smiled. ‘That will also help the rid the boy of the spirit. It will bind our scared oath; the temple itself might have been consecrated with it. Yarrow and Solomon’s Seal are all we have to help us. They will have to do. Sweet Olivia,’ she said, turning to face Liv and holding her other hand out. ‘You have to be brave. Can you do it?’

  Liv nodded, and moved towards the Guardians of the Well. She was scared; so scared. A sob caught in her throat. Ryan snarled at her from his invisible prison and threw himself against it again.

  ‘Oh Ryan,’ Liv whispered. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I made you come here.’

  ‘We have to join hands,’ said Meggie. ‘Are you ready, my angels? We must do it…now!’

  Aemelia took a last, frantic look at Ryan and turned her back on him, quickly grabbing Liv’s hand. There was a whooshing sound and Ryan burst out of his makeshift gaol. He hurled himself towards the girls shouting and Liv began to scream.

  2010

  Liv saw Ryan hurtling towards her and tried to pull away from the group of three.

  ‘Quickly!’ shouted Meggie. ‘We can do it…’

  ‘Hold our hands, Olivia!’ called Aemelia. ‘Concentrate.’

  Liv instinctively ducked as Ryan came flying at her and her hand slipped away from Meggie’s. Aemelia and Meggie began shouting instructions at her, but their words were lost as a wild wind gusted up around them.

  Then down from the fort, a rolling ball of light plunged towards them. It moved fast – faster even than the black ball of fury that was Hay masquerading as Ryan. It smashed into Ryan and enveloped him in a golden light. Liv saw Ryan’s eyes open wide then he slumped inside the ball, which carried him back to the Well and hovered a few centimetres above the ground. The black and gold colours swirled around each other, sometimes the gold enveloping the black; sometimes the black seeping into the gold.

  ‘He has come to help us,’ whispered Aemelia. She sounded surprised. Then she turned to Meggie and Liv and raised her hands. Her voice powerful and strong again. ‘Come. Olivia, take my hand. Let us complete the circle. He will hold him back. He is better than Hay.’ There was a note of pride in her words as she looked fleetingly at the ball of black and gold light.

  Liv wanted to ask who exactly was there, but instead she nodded and grabbed hold of Aemelia’s hand. She clutched at Meggie’s, interlocking her fingers tightly. Liv closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Aemelia began to speak.

  ‘To the spirits and deities of this sacred place, I offer the water of protection from the blessed Well of Coventina and its Guardians. Stop the flow of negative energy from the ground below us, the air above us and the flames deep inside the earth. Send the negativity back to its source. Let it harm nothing and nobody on its course, and bind it within your power for all eternity. Let it never cause pain again.’

  Liv felt the fizzing begin in her fingertips. The energy began slowly, encircling the group with streaks of silver. There was that humming in Liv’s ears and a sound like men chanting. Then there were screams and images flashing into her mind again, whizzing back through the centuries like someone had pressed the rewind button. Liv opened her eyes and stared around her, her heart beating quickly. She felt one of the spirits squeeze her hand gently.

  ‘It will soon be over. We are here with you.’ The words filled her thoughts, damming the tide of panic that was welling up inside her. The landscape was changing and altering before her eyes, like a speeded up film. The layers of time were peeling back and she was a witness to everything that had gone before her.

  There were the modern day tourists, the walkers and backpackers. There were the council men, building the modern road on top of the ruins of the wall. She saw the fields dry and yellow in a blistering hot summer; the tops of the altars in the temple poking out of the ground. Now, the landscape was green; the temple disappearing beneath the meadow flowers. Animals grazed peacefully, unaware of the grass growing up over the temple walls and burying it. Now groups of people in Victorian dress crowded aro
und the Well; one policeman directing them away from the stone walls which surrounded it; an elderly man held court, passing trinkets around the spectators. The temple was hidden now beneath the moorland; nobody knew it was there any more. The scene darkened; groups of lead miners swarmed over the land, ransacking trays left behind overnight. Further back again, and a young girl fell to her knees before a Witchfinder; a hazy figure walked towards her through the middle of the derelict temple. Liv gasped, recognising it.

  ‘It’s all right, it’s all right,’ whispered a voice. ‘We have to see this.’

  ‘No! No, I don’t want to see you get hurt!’ cried Liv.

  But then it was gone. Further back, and shadows of men played out the destruction of the temple and the Well. Then it was back to when the vicus was bustling with activity, with people milling around the market, throwing coins into the Well and laughing.

  Liv saw men building the fort and the temple and the Well, working in all weathers to construct them. And then it was silent. The landscape was bleak and empty, but for a light snow fall which covered everything in white and a sky which glowed pink and orange.

  The images faded and Liv wobbled. Her head was pounding and tears were pouring down her face.

  ‘So much history,’ she said, her voice catching. ‘So much...’

  ‘It’s our history,’ said Meggie. ‘And we have been charged with protecting it.’ She smiled at Liv and reached out to brush her fingers over the girl’s wet cheeks. ‘You’re part of it, Olivia. You can feel that, can’t you?’

  Liv nodded.

  ‘I wish I could have changed things,’ she said. ‘For you.’

  ‘These things have to happen. I see that now,’ smiled Meggie. ‘It’s beyond our power to change any of it. And I’m at peace. Really I am. I have found my place and I embrace it.’

  ‘But what about Aemelia? What was her story?’ asked Liv.

  ‘Aemelia was like me. She was a means to an end. She had no control over it, and neither did Marcus.’ Meggie laid her hand on Liv’s shoulder. ‘I’m pleased you were spared that vision. She worked hard to keep it from you. Believe me; it was worse than mine.’ Liv opened her mouth but shut it quickly. The questions were bubbling up inside her, but mad as it sounded, she trusted Meggie. She knew that whatever had happened to Aemelia, it was too painful for her to share. All she knew was that it had something to do with Marcus. And whatever it was, it had tormented him for centuries. She looked around to speak to the dark eyed girl to reassure her that her secret was safe.

  Aemelia was walking slowly towards the Well. A column of light was hovering around the marshland. Aemelia stopped in front of the column and it wavered, then glowed brighter. Liv blinked as it sparkled like a string of diamonds.

  ‘Corpse candles,’ breathed Liv, remembering something Ryan had told her years ago, one Halloween. ‘It’s like a corpse candle. Ryan said it was marsh gases – but that’s not marsh gas is it?’ Meggie shook her head.

  ‘No. It’s not,’ she said quietly.

  ‘What is it? And where’s Ryan? Where’s he gone?’

  ‘Ryan is safe. Look- can you see him behind the light?’ Ryan was sitting down, his head on his knees, his arms wrapped around them. Liv could see he was trembling, even from this distance. She wanted to run over to him, but she hesitated. She didn’t know what the light was. What if it was Hay again?

  ‘Don’t worry; it can’t harm us,’ smiled Meggie, reading her. ‘You’ve seen what these will o’ the wisps really are now, Olivia. Some people think they are an omen of death. This one,’ she nodded at it, ‘is a spirit that has found peace. Can you feel it?’ Liv stood very still and concentrated. She felt a sort of solace washing over her, and opened her eyes wide as she made out a figure within the column. The column and the figure merged into one and the man who appeared walked over to Aemelia. Hesitantly, he offered her his hand. Aemelia paused for a second, then took it. They drew closer to one another, silhouetted against the landscape, as the man bent down and took her face in his hands.

  ‘It’s Marcus,’ she whispered. ‘That’s him, isn’t it? He’s made peace with himself.’

  ‘And he’s made peace with Aemelia,’ said Meggie, following Liv’s gaze. ‘He’s proved himself to her at last. He’s free to move on now.’

  ‘But he’s not going to, is he?’ asked Liv. ‘He’s part of this as much as you are. If Aemelia has to stay here, he’ll want to be with her. She’s a Guardian.’

  ‘Yes, but she can choose as well. She can move freely now. She’s not trapped here either. It was her anger and disbelief that held her back. But I know Aemelia. She’ll want to return. And she can. But she doesn’t have to stay here. Not anymore.’

  ‘But you will. You’ll have to stay, won’t you?’ said Liv, wrapping her arms around herself. ‘And you’ll have nobody if Aemelia goes with Marcus...’ she felt the tears well up again, imagining Meggie wandering around these wild lands all alone. Meggie turned to Liv, and again there was that cool, ethereal touch on her hair as Meggie comforted her.

  ‘But I was always free to go, Olivia,’ she said. ‘I chose to stay here.’

  ‘But..?’ asked Liv, staring at her. ‘I thought...’

  Meggie smiled.

  ‘I made my peace long ago. I accepted what had happened. I knew it was my fault that Alice had died. I was always drawn to this place.’ She looked around her, squinting slightly into the distance at something Liv couldn’t see. ‘I’m happy. My other life was lonely and harsh and I can’t even begin to describe it. I had nobody. When Alice went...’ Meggie shrugged. ‘I didn’t want to be there anymore. She was the only one who understood. I was too different from the rest of them. But they didn’t care; it was only when they wanted me for something that they’d come and find me. And then, it was all so secretive. I only wanted to help people. You believe me, don’t you?’

  Liv nodded.

  ‘So all this time, you could have been somewhere else. Like...like Heaven or something?’ she asked. Meggie laughed.

  ‘Yes. Like Heaven or something. I can still go there, don’t worry. And I can be with Alice there. But this place. This place is my true Heaven. I’m part of it. And so are you now. Oh look,’ she indicated Ryan. The two figures had faded away, leaving Ryan alone. ‘I think you need to check your friend. He needs you. See him?’

  ‘Ryan!’ shouted Liv. She dashed off towards him, squelching her way through the boggy ground.

  2010

  Ryan was sitting hunched up on a dry part of the grass, staring all about him. His face was white and drawn and Liv could see that he was still trembling. She hunkered down next to him and touched his knee. Ryan flinched.

  ‘It’s OK, Ryan, it’s OK. It’s only me,’ she said gently. ‘You’re safe now. He’s gone.’

  ‘What happened?’ asked Ryan. His voice was shaky. ‘It’s all fuzzy in my head. One minute I’m sitting next to you and the next...’ He looked at her and gave a humourless, lopsided smile. ‘It must have been one hell of a kiss,’ he said, his voice strange and flat. ‘Probably serves me right. Probably shouldn’t have tried. I...’

  The rest of his sentence was smothered. Liv leaned over and kissed him hard on the lips. Ryan gave a little gurgle of shock, then found himself responding. He was hesitant at first; then as he found his confidence, he kissed her with a mixture of eagerness and desperation. He reached his arms up and locked them behind Liv’s neck. She wrapped her arms around his waist and they stayed entwined, lost in each other, as the atmosphere around them became still again.

  ‘Wow,’ said Ryan, gazing at Liv. ‘I’m sorry. I can’t come up with anything clever to say. Just...wow.’

  Liv laughed, a little self-consciously.

  ‘Yeah. I know what you mean,’ she said. ‘Wow. Who would have thought it?’

  ‘But you haven’t explained what happened,’ said Ryan. ‘Before. When all that fuzzy stuff was going on. I’m sorry, Liv. But I really can’t remember any of it.’

  ‘Yo
u really can’t can you?’ she said quietly, watching him. ‘Nothing. There’s nothing there.’

  ‘Not a thing. Liv, this place is weird. I know I said that earlier, but I’ve decided I really don’t like it. There’s something here... I don’t even know if it wants us to be here.’ He looked around again, concerned that whatever ‘it’ was might still be lurking in the undergrowth. Liv sat back and picked idly at the plants around her. She snapped off a flower and turned it over in her hands, looking at the tiny, daisy-shaped flowers.

  ‘Yarrow,’ she said. ‘The devil’s nettle. Do you know something, Ryan? There’s so much we don’t understand in this life. I wonder if it all sorts itself out...afterwards. You know?’

  ‘What? Like when we’re dead?’ said Ryan, looking askance at her. He shook his head. ‘I don’t know. You’re starting to freak me out a bit, I have to say. Again. You’re freaking me out: again.’

  Liv looked at him and half-smiled.

  ‘I’m not going into detail with you,’ she said. ‘But you do that to me as well, you know. You’ve freaked me out before now.’ Ryan pulled his knees up to his chest and dropped his head onto them. He closed his eyes.

  ‘Come on. Something weird happened, didn’t it? I didn’t just lose half an hour did I?’ Liv could see his shoulders tensing up, waiting for her to confirm it. She stroked his back and felt a little shiver run down his spine through her fingers. She smiled to herself. Yes. Who would have thought it?

  ‘Yes. Something weird did happen, Ryan,’ she said. She thought for a moment. Maybe one day she would tell him. But would he really, truly appreciate being told he’d been possessed by a mad seventeenth century rapist, hell-bent on revenge? Or that she’d saved this sacred place and the spirits that lingered here, by joining hands with two ghosts - two Guardians of this wild, beautiful landscape? Or maybe there were three Guardians now? This time she shivered. She was inextricably linked to this place; that was for sure. ‘And it’s going to get even weirder,’ she said, looking at him. The edge of his hair curled gently against his collar and she moved her fingers up to stroke it. It was smooth and springy beneath her touch.