Dancing Jax

by Robin Jarvis

  “Guess I’m a celeb,” he muttered uncomfortably.

  He limped through the empty courtyards and hallways and under the deep arches of the three concentric castle walls. Finally the main gate reared before him. Mauger, the fearsome Guardian, was out of sight, bolted in its barred den. Lee sauntered past the two sentries who kept vigil during the day and crossed the drawbridge. The men nudged one another and exchanged awed whispers from the side of their mouth.

  The moat sparkled in the sunshine and the air was thick with the sapphire and emerald flash of dragonflies on the wing. A contented frog lazed on a lily pad, leisurely flicking out a long tongue now and then, and chewed drowsily.

  Lee continued on his way, walking through the freshly scythed grass of the long meadow where today’s jousts were being held. Colourful, striped pavilions were set up and a berfrois, or grandstand, had been built for the nobility to view the sport from.

  A great roar of acclaim went up and, for a vain instant, he thought it was for him. He quickly realised the crowd was cheering some victory at the tilt. The Jack of Clubs had won another contest and a stretcher carrying a wounded knight came hurrying through the throng of common spectators, towards the red and white tent where the Physician was already dealing with two casualties.

  Lee halted when he saw the stretcher-bearers. They were Punchinellos. One of them turned a repulsive face towards him as they scampered on their way and those bulging eyes glittered knowingly. The boy recognised him immediately. It was Yikker, one of the sadistic guards in the camp, the one who had dressed as a Catholic priest. Lee’s hands curled into fists and he clenched his teeth. The Punchinello gave a high, squawking cackle and continued to the Physician’s tent.

  “Shoulda brought one of them Kalashnikovs with me,” Lee muttered. “Coulda settled some scores before I do the big one.”

  Skirting round the rear of the crowd, he approached the stand where the nobles and members of the Royal Houses were seated. The Ismus and the Lady Labella sat beneath a black and gold canopy. Between them was a crib in which the infant was sleeping soundly.

  By that time, the villagers had become aware of the Castle Creeper’s presence among them and they had all turned to stare. A hush fell over the meadow and then the assembled Under Kings and Queens shifted in their seats to gaze on this singular newcomer to the Realm. The Jill of Spades and the Jack of Diamonds eyed him with cold hostility. The Jill of Hearts had conveyed his threat to them and they were incensed at his behaviour.

  The Jill of Hearts remained obstinately unaware of Lee’s arrival. For her, he no longer existed. She looked this way and that, but never to where he was standing. Her ignoring him would be punishment a-plenty. She waved a slender hand at the Jack of Clubs who was still astride Ironheart, his peerless steed, and was vexed to see that he had lifted the visor of his helm and was also staring in wonderment at the Castle Creeper.

  The Ismus had raised his arms in welcome and was leaving the shade of the canopy to go and greet Lee.

  “Welcome!” his voice boomed out over the silent throng. “Most welcome to you. This is a great day for Mooncaster. We are privileged to have as our guest the Castle Creeper. Some of you may already have heard of him and his astounding feats.”

  A small boy from the village could contain himself no longer. “He done saved my life last year on the Night of All Dark,” Tully blurted. “The Bad Shepherd was going to dash my brains in, but the Creeper fought him off.”

  “That’s right!” his friend Clover Ditchy called out from the crowd. “He were secret and invisible, but he stopped that horror right enough.”

  Tully’s other young friends, who had been with them, joined in. “He’s a hero, that’s what he is!” they shouted. “A champion hero!”

  Standing at the entrance to Sir Darksilver’s tent, Tully’s brother, Rufus, remained silent. In the spring, he had been taken on as the knight’s esquire – a huge honour and one that had made his mother and grandfather immensely proud. Rufus had much to do this day, making sure Sir Darksilver’s armour and weaponry were burnished like mirrors, attending to Flamefoot, his charger, and decking it out with the sable and silver caparison, emblazoned with the badge of Clubs. It was a tough and laborious life but, until recently, the boy had loved every arduous task. Today, however, he was sick at heart and jittery.

  Within the tent, Sir Darksilver boomed out for him to finish buckling him into his armour and Rufus hastened to obey, but was all thumbs.

  Outside, the rest of the village erupted with joyous yells and grateful praise for the Castle Creeper. They would have surged forward to lift Lee on to their shoulders and parade him round the meadow had the Ismus not intervened and called for calm.

  “The Creeper is but fresh out of the sick bed and still convalescing,” he told them. “There will be time for celebrations later. Allow him to enjoy the freedom of our Realm at his ease and do not overtire him.”

  The villagers obeyed and retreated with shy, apologetic and admiring faces.

  “You were supposed to stay in bed,” the Ismus muttered to Lee, dropping the lordly performance as he led him round the stand and out of earshot. “That leg won’t heal if you don’t let it.”

  “I done spent the best part of a year cooped up in small rooms,” the boy answered. “Not gonna happen no more. I just need to know where that shepherd guy is right now.”

  “My agents are hunting high and low. He slinks and skulks about the Realm like a cat’s shadow. We are usually only aware of him when he has committed some new heinous act, and then he flits back into hiding. He has not been glimpsed since early in the spring. As soon as his whereabouts are discovered, you will be informed. Perhaps the King of Diamonds will have news when he returns from his hunt later. I suggest you make use of this time by finding the Healing Ruby.”

  Lee raised his eyebrows. “You think I should be doin’ what, for the what?” he asked.

  “The Healing Ruby,” the Ismus repeated. “Once you have dispatched the Bad Shepherd and rid both worlds of his memory and influence, you must place the Healing Ruby in your beloved’s hands. Only that will awaken her.”

  Lee shook his head in confusion and seized the man by the shoulders.

  “What is this BS?” he demanded. “I ain’t never heard none of this before. Don’t spin me this crap.”

  The three Black Face Dames had followed them and they acted quickly to take Lee’s hands away.

  “Back off!” the boy snapped. “I can wipe all of yous outta this story like you never was, so just stay out of it.”

  They didn’t listen and pulled the boy away from their Lord.

  “Get your goons off me!” he warned. “Or the deal’s off – and I’ll come hunting for you instead.”

  The Ismus laughed. “What a bundle of impotent threats,” he said. “You can’t kill me. Not here. Not in this world, not any more. You might have succeeded back in the other, if you had thought of it, but not here. And you will honour the bargain. You can only exist in this place now; there’s nowhere else for you. Like I said, you’re locked in. Besides, you do still want pretty Charm to flutter her lids and drop her aitches for you, don’t you? Or have the doe-eyed damsels and buxom wenches of Mooncaster caused you to forget her already?”

  Lee could have ripped his smirking head off. He lunged forward, but the three bodyguards held him securely. Eventually his struggles ceased.

  “As I was saying,” the Ismus resumed, “the Healing Ruby must be placed in Miss Benedict’s hands. Only then shall she awaken – after the Bad Shepherd has been dealt with. Don’t look so murderous. It’s all part of the fundamental rules and magickal lore upon which this domain is founded. It really isn’t down to me, I swear on all that is unholy.”

  Lee hung his head. “Where is this damn ruby?” he asked.

  “You shall have to ask that of Magpie Jack,” the Ismus replied. “He stole it from under the King of Hearts’ pillow, whilst he was sleeping. Such a scoundrel that lad.”

  �
�Just tell me where it is.”

  “I genuinely don’t know. Jack was discovered in the royal bedchamber, but the ruby was nowhere to be found; it wasn’t on his person, it wasn’t under the pillow, it was nowhere in the room. They searched high and low for it, without success. The Healing Ruby had completely disappeared and, even though he went to gaol for it, Jack never disclosed where the jewel was hidden.”

  Lee uttered a grunt of exasperation. “Don’t gimme this,” he said. “I ain’t one of them dumb Jaxers. This is your book; you know who did what and when and why and what they was wearing when they did it – just tell me where the damn thing is.”

  “As you observed two nights ago, at the fortress of Battle Wood, there are certain aspects of this domain that were here long before I composed the hallowed text. There are disciplines and governing principles that even I, and the Bad Shepherd, must adhere to. The mystery of the Healing Ruby is one of them.”

  “You better not be jerking me. What else you gonna surprise me with?”

  “Nothing, I vow. You were in no fit state to hear this the other night.”

  The Ismus signalled for the Black Face Dames to release him. Lee tore his arms free and snorted with disgust.

  “Where’s the sticky-fingered kid now?” he demanded.

  “Watching the joust, with the rest.”

  “Not no more he ain’t,” Lee rumbled, stomping off.

  “A word of warning, Creeper,” the Ismus said gravely. “Remember, this is not the world of Dancing Jax, but the furtherance of that world. You will find Fighting Pax a much darker, more treacherous domain.”

  “I’m learning that fast.”

  “I am in deadly earnest. Though the sun is shining, don’t let it blind you. Betrayal and peril are now ripe and ready for the harvest. Have a care. There are other dangers than the shepherd here.”

  The Jill of Spades and the Jack of Diamonds had left the berfrois and were making their way to the Jack of Clubs’ tent, deep in intrigue, when Lee caught up with them.

  “Wait up,” he said. “You an’ me got things we need to discuss.”

  Jack stared at him in surprise.

  “I have naught to say to you, Sirrah!” he snorted contemptuously. “Your infamous treatment of the Jill of Hearts was the conduct of a cur. I will not debase myself by having converse with you.”

  “You ain’t my fave choice of phone a friend either, but seems you’s the only one who knows.”

  “Step aside there,” Jack ordered. “Let your betters be about their business.”

  “Oh, you is so close to gettin’ a slap, kid. All I wants to know is where you stashed that ruby.”

  Jack’s expression changed from indignation to amusement and he laughed dismissively. “Is the fellow crazed? Why should I reveal my secret unto you? If that is what you seek, Creeper, then I am overjoyed to deny you.”

  “I ain’t givin’ you no choice here,” Lee snarled, dragging him behind the nearest tent and pushing him against the canvas. “Tell me, or I’ll get all twenty-first century on your skinny ass.”

  He grabbed Jack by the throat and was about to shake him when he felt cold steel at his own neck.

  The Jill of Spades dimpled his skin with her dagger’s tip. “Only a fool dares threaten the children of the Royal Houses,” she purred into his ear. “And it is an assuredly short-lived folly. If I were to push but a little, your Creeping would be at an end. Which is it to be?”

  Lee loosened his grip. He was annoyed with himself for barging in and forgetting the nature of the Jill of Spades.

  “I just wants to know…”

  “And I said which is it to be? Friend of the Ismus or no, I shall make a fountain of your blood if you do not unhand the Jack of Diamonds. And know this, patience is not amongst my virtues for, in truth, I have none – so be quick.”

  Lee ground his teeth. Getting embroiled in the petty plots and machinations of these storybook characters was the last thing he’d wanted to do. There was no mistaking the deadly intention in her voice, however. She would stick him deep and think nothing of it.

  “This ain’t over,” he told Jack as he released him. “You will tell me where that red rock is, else you’ll lose your own family jewels – you hear what I’m sayin’?”

  He pulled away from the blade and stared at the icy chill in Jill’s eyes. She was more dangerous than any of the knights here. Jack drew his sword and stood beside her. There was no arguing against their sharp steel.

  “You got me this once,” Lee admitted with reluctance. “But there won’t be no twice. You best lock yourself in your rooms, cos next time you won’t see me comin’ and I’ll get the drop on you. Be my pleasure to smash your heads into something spreadable. I will find out what I need to know. Them torture toys they got in the dungeon here, they ain’t nuthin’ compared to a going-over, Peckham style. I’ll put the fear on you.”

  The royal offspring laughed at him.

  “Creep off,” Jill instructed mockingly. “Your threats are as empty as the Waiting Throne.”

  Lee’s temper was close to boiling over. Everything inside him cried out to swipe the derision off their faces, but the sun was glinting on their weapons and he wasn’t stupid. He reproached himself for coming out here unarmed. He should have asked the valet for a knife of his own to hang at his belt. That was an oversight he was going to correct straight away.

  “Laters,” he said with a curled lip. “I’ll come looking for you, Jackie boy.”

  “I welcome it,” Magpie Jack replied.

  Lee spat on the ground and departed.

  “I ought to have challenged him and made an end of it,” the Jack of Diamonds declared. “He is a peril to us all. One sure thrust to the heart or through the eye would dispatch him and honour would be satisfied.”

  The Queen of Spades’ daughter disagreed and returned her dagger into the secret sheath up her sleeve. “At least two summers stand against you,” she said. “You are not yet thirteen, Jack.”

  “I am not a-feared. I have bested older knights, and those of greater stature than that tar-skinned felon.”

  “I shall devise a more subtle plan, one more fitting.”

  Her lips curled into a devious smile.

  “There is an artful way of dealing with him,” she said. “A way that would dispatch him with certainty.”

  “What way is that?”

  “He wishes the Healing Ruby, so you must tell him where it lies.”

  “I will not!”

  “Oh, come now,” she said. “Your secret, the one that sealed the reputation of Magpie Jack as the peerless thief of Mooncaster, I guessed it long ago. There could be but one explanation to the mystery of what occurred in the royal bedchamber that night, before the warders captured you.”

  The boy stared at her crossly. “You cannot possibly know,” he said.

  “It’s as plain as the Queen of Heart’s face,” she answered. “And, if you tell the Creeper, he will surely go questing for it and thereby meet his end.”

  Jack considered her words. The idea was certainly appealing. But, if others discovered how he had made the ruby disappear from that bedchamber, his renown would tumble.

  “A chamber with but one door,” Jill mused aloud. “No secret passageway, every hiding place searched four times over… when the answer to that riddle is as clear as glass, oh – but there is no glass in the window of that room. None at all – and what a large window it is.”

  “The lawn beneath was scoured most thoroughly!” he reminded her.

  “Oh, but you did not cast the ruby away,” she said. “Someone took it from you. Someone who was passing by outside – or maybe was even in the room with you?”

  “Passing by?” he snorted. “At such a lofty height? What stilts are so tall?”

  “Not with the aid of stilts, but a hayfork perhaps?”

  “Enough!” he demanded. “You dare suggest I am in league with Haxxentrot? Upon mine honour, I swear I did not put the Healing Ruby into that cro
ne’s wizened hands.”

  The Jill of Spades eyed him keenly. She knew she had hit close to the truth of it and was about to press further when a roar went up. Another joust had been won by the Jack of Clubs. This time it was against Sir Darksilver, the mightiest knight in Mooncaster, who had never been bested before. But then he had never been up against the Jack of Clubs before.

  Jill particularly wanted to observe what might follow, so she dropped a curtsy and bade Magpie Jack good day. Like a serpent, she wound her way through the crowd and saw the knight being carried to the Physician’s tent.

  Wrapped in angry thought, the Jack of Clubs strode away.

  Moments later, the Jockey emerged from the tent they had been talking so carelessly by.

  “Haw haw haw,” he chortled softly and went tripping after Magpie Jack. He had a contemptible proposal to put to him, a true test of his talents – and how could the lad refuse, now he knew his secret?

  Rufus, Sir Darksilver’s young esquire, was hurriedly clearing the tilt yard of his master’s shield and broken lance and leading the unmanned Flamefoot back to the stables. When he saw the Jill of Spades moving through the throng, his face clouded over and he grew more anxious than ever.

  While the Jack of Clubs was being hailed as the champion of the day, Jill entered the Physician’s tent and feigned concern for the wounded knight.

  “Pray do not get up,” she told Sir Darksilver as the Physician began stitching the slice in his shoulder. “Let the leechmaster attend to his embroidery. I trust your injuries are not too grievous. The Knave of Clubs is unbeatable this tournament. How he topples even the greatest of you.”

  The knight glowered up at her through his thick, wiry eyebrows. What lay behind this concern, he wondered? This was not usual for the Queen of Spades’ daughter.

  “The prince is a valiant opponent, Your Royal Highness,” he said grudgingly. “He improves with the seasons – and he rides the finest charger in the land. There is no match for Ironheart.”