What's a Girl to Do?

by Aimee Duffy

  The sound of keys rattling in the front door knocked her out of the lusty daze. ‘Shit.’ Shey quickly righted herself as his deep breaths cut off.

  ‘What’s going on?’ His voice was strained.

  ‘My roommates are back. I have to go.’

  His throaty chuckle ramped up the crazed need inside of her. ‘We’ll continue this another time.’

  Shey looked down at her twisted tank top and guessed her hair was just as mussed. Twice she’d had a mindlessly sexy encounter with this man, and she didn’t know anything about him. This wasn’t her. She didn’t do wild and spontaneous. She was careful, always made sure she was in control with the men she was dating. Always made sure she had a clear head.

  With Calvin, all bets were off.

  The front door opened. ‘Shey, you here? We picked up Chinese.’

  ‘I have to go,’ she whispered into her cell. ‘I’ll post your keys back to you.’

  ‘Shey—’

  She ended the call before he could talk her into something else. The cavity in her chest got too tight, and she didn’t want to think about that. With Calvin it would just be sex, mind-blowing, toe-curling sex. Nothing more. It shouldn’t hurt so badly when she decided that things had to stop. He was like a frickin’ drug, and after one taste she was on the road to a serious addiction.

  Her friends stopped at the edge of the living room when they got a look at her. Their expressions would have made her laugh if she didn’t feel so wiped out by all the emotions swirling through her.

  ‘Jesus, Shey. You look like you’ve been fucked hard and had your heart broken at the same time.’ Georgia always did have a way with words.

  ‘Neither.’ But it felt like both.

  ‘Come on, I’ll set the table. We have some wine in the fridge.’ Eloisa disappeared to the kitchen with the boxes of takeout.

  Shey stood on shaky legs and looked down at her cell. He hadn’t tried to call back. Maybe this time he’d get the message. And didn’t that just sting like a bitch? ‘Wine sounds good.’

  Georgia eyed her as she made her way to the kitchen. After washing her hands at the sink, she sat across from the two of them at the small breakfast bar they used for eating at after work. It was the same place Eloisa had balled her eyes out over her cheating ex, Georgia had confessed to falling in love for the first time, shortly followed by a gallon of wine when it ended. Now Shey had the feeling it was her turn to fess up with fatty food, her best friends and alcohol as backup.

  ‘Spill it.’

  Rolling some noodles around her chopsticks, Shey explained everything that happened with Calvin since Friday. She could only hope Georgia and Eloisa would help take her mind off him.

  ‘I’ll never be able to sit on that side of the sofa again,’ Eloisa teased when Shey finished.

  Shey screwed up her nose, but she was glad for Eloisa’s attempt to lighten her mood, and it was working. She dug into the food with gusto, enjoying the chicken chow mein now she’d gotten everything off her chest. Georgia’s intense eyes didn’t falter, but Shey ignored her friend and reached for the wine.

  The silence didn’t last. ‘I still don’t get why you aren’t over there fucking him senseless right now,’ Georgia said.

  Shey almost choked on the wine. Swallowing hastily, she glared at her friend. ‘Didn’t you hear a word I said? He’s distracting me. I can’t stop thinking about him, and it’s screwing with my job.’

  Eloisa piped in. ‘I think he’s right. You were sexually frustrated. That’s enough to screw with anyone’s concentration.’

  They might as well have slapped her in the face. ‘Thanks for taking my side.’ Downing the rest of the wine, she tried to fight back her irritation.

  ‘This isn’t about taking sides, or your job,’ Georgia said, ‘this is about Felicity and you know it.’

  ‘My mother has nothing to do with this.’

  ‘Really?’ Georgia got up and went to the fridge. She came back with another bottle of white and topped up all their glasses. ‘You’re so terrified of how he makes you feel, you’re pushing him away. Not because he’s screwing with your job, but because he makes you lose your head when you’re with him. Do you know how many women would kill to feel that sexed-up? Some have never even had an orgasm.’

  Shit. ‘Georgia I didn’t mean—’

  ‘I know,’ Georgia’s voice grew soft. ‘But at the end of the day, what’s the worst that can happen? You’re not your mother, hell, you’re on the pill and even if that didn’t work and you ended up pregnant, you wouldn’t be alone. You have us. I say you take what he’s offering.’

  Her hands grew damp and her heart thumped wildly. When her forehead broke out in a sweat, she reached for her glass and gulped down as much as she could.

  ‘Because that’s why you’re afraid to sleep with the guys you like, isn’t it? You don’t want to accidentally get pregnant and end up alone, putting a baby through what your mom put you through. But you’re not her. You wouldn’t treat a baby like that.’ Georgia’s words speared through the pounding in her head.

  Panic sucked the sides of her throat together until it got hard to breathe.

  ‘Christ, Georgia, leave her alone,’ Eloisa snapped. ‘Shey, you all right?’

  Squeezing her eyes shut, she fought for composure. Georgia was wrong. It was the worst thing that could happen to any single woman. She knew how hard it was for Felicity to bring her into the world, and knew how much her mother regretted the decision to keep her.

  Which, Shey realized, was exactly why she needed an emotional connection with the men she dated. Friendship at the very least. If doubling up on protection somehow failed, she would know the guy well enough to feel secure asking for support.

  Something Felicity never had.

  But still, she wanted a career first, then a husband and security before she started a family.

  She opened her eyes and met Georgia’s steely gaze head on. Her friend was blunt, if nothing else. ‘You’re wrong. Ending up pregnant to someone I don’t even know is the worst thing that could happen.’

  Georgia shrugged, like she didn’t buy it for a second. ‘So get to know him.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘If he wants you bad enough, he’ll put in the time.’

  Shey wasn’t so sure about that.

  ‘As much as I hate to admit it, Georgia’s kind of right,’ Eloisa said. ‘You can’t go on like this. You need to get Calvin out of your system and if screwing each other’s brains out for a week is the only way to do it, then I say go for it.’

  The idea of screwing him for a week straight made her flush all over. But she still couldn’t get past the sleeping with a stranger barrier, and what about everything else? He didn’t just take control of her body and pleasure, leaving her helpless. He cracked her wide open.

  ‘How the hell am I supposed to keep feelings out of the equation?’ she asked. ‘At lunch today I was in bits.’

  Georgia piped in. ‘By giving the fling an expiry date. At least then you both know where you stand, and neither of you will build up expectations.’

  Shey’s mind drifted to the way he had completely controlled her, told her to trust him with her pleasure, and she had. The reward had been the best experience of her life.

  She knew he just wanted her body, but she needed a little more of a connection than that. The only problem left was now her second-biggest fear. When she got to know the man behind the suit and cool confidence, would she fall hard and get crushed when their time together was over?

  Chapter Four

  By Friday Shey was back into the swing of things at Storm. Jude had been pushing more and more of his work onto her, but instead of bitching about it she was grateful for the distraction. Calvin hadn’t been in touch, and childishly she’d held onto the key, hoping he’d contact her to get it back. For all she knew he’d replaced the lock to the twelfth floor. Or replaced her with someone easier. Shey didn’t want to wonder why her stomach felt like it was full of
free weights.

  After arranging a meeting with a designer for Jude next week, it was almost time for lunch. She was anxious, just like she had been every day this week, to see whether Calvin would contact her.

  When a knock sounded at the door, her heart soared, but LB stuck his head through, his expression grim. Well, it was more of an awkward line that had formed on his forehead. Shey resolved to never, ever let someone inject her with botox.

  ‘Everything okay?’ she asked.

  For a second pain darkened his eyes, but it was gone in a heartbeat. ‘I’m taking the afternoon off. Can you hold the fort?’

  Shey tried hard to keep her mouth from gaping. Jude was supposed to oversee a photo shoot this afternoon. Though it would take place in the Storm building, it was part of a new campaign they had started for page seven and if shit hit the fan, Marco would have both their asses on a plate. The fact Jude trusted her to come up with the goods made no sense at all.

  Unless he didn’t. ‘Is someone else taking care of the shoot?’

  That awkward line came back, and his lips turned down at the corners. ‘Can’t handle it?’

  Shey swallowed. ‘I didn’t say that.’ Though she wasn’t sure she could.

  ‘Then you’re in charge. I’m on my cell if you need me.’ With that, Jude left without the usual grandeur.

  His shoulders were stooped and Shey noticed his usually sharp appearance had gone. Along with his drive for the job. The thought that he was giving up should make her happy. She had never liked him, but lately he’d been less bitchy and more like a mentor.

  Like or not, she hadn’t imagined the pain in his eyes. Something was wrong with him, and she wondered if he had anyone else to lean on. LB wasn’t a people person.

  She didn’t have long to wonder. Her desk phone rang, and any hope of a lunch break was quashed. The photographer was running late, one of the models had come down with salmonella, and there was no Jude there to bark orders at her.

  Ignoring her rising panic, Shey got to work. She asked Mandy to search the system for a model of similar size and hair color to take over, grabbed the paperwork she needed and made her way to the gallery room they used for shoots. The other models would be antsy, and without LB to keep them in line, she’d have to find a way to pacify them.

  By the time the photographer arrived, they were all ready to go. Shey knew exactly what Jude wanted from the pictures, and though she liked LB’s ideas, the photographer persuaded her to add a hint of darkness to the shots. It didn’t alter the perception much, but enough to show off the labels the girls wore in an edgy way that had much more appeal.

  Though terrified of what Jude would do when he saw the pictures, she went with her gut and let the photographer change the style. By the time she got back to her desk just after four, her inbox and voicemail were full. She knuckled down and dealt with everything one by one.

  At six her cell rang, and she flipped it open expecting Georgia or Eloisa. ‘Sorry, have to take a rain check tonight. I’m going to be in the office for a while.’

  ‘I wasn’t aware we had plans.’

  Calvin.

  Her heart sped and the lull of exhaustion vanished. She remembered the last time that voice had sounded from her phone.

  ‘Friday nights are reserved for the girls,’ Shey replied.

  ‘But not tonight, since you’re working. Tell me, Shey, have you eaten yet?’

  She grinned. He could turn a question into an order and make it sound so enticing she wanted to answer him instantly.

  But she didn’t. ‘What are you doing tonight, Mr. Cool? Other than harassing me at work, that is.’

  Another one of those tsks that made her vibrate right down to her toes. ‘I believe I asked you a question first.’

  ‘I’ll grab something later.’ Damn it.

  His chuckle was rough. Sexy. ‘I’m still waiting for my key.’

  In those six words, Shey heard the question he didn’t ask. The barely contained desire she was trying to hold back. He wanted to know when she was going to break, and she wanted nothing more than to call it a day and take a cab to his place. But they hadn’t hammered out the details.

  ‘I will bring it back, but not until we’ve sorted something out.’

  The line was quiet for a beat, then he said, ‘Shoot.’

  Taking a deep breath, she tried to convince herself that if he didn’t want to, it wouldn’t matter. The core of what they had was an insane chemical reaction and until it was sated, she wouldn’t be able to get him off her mind. Still, the idea that he might not want her enough to go along with what she needed made her hesitate.

  ‘I need more than just sex,’ she blurted and held her breath.

  Silence.

  ‘I don’t mean I want a relationship with you, I know what we have is combustible. But I can’t have any kind of sexual relationship with a stranger. Calvin, I don’t know your last name, I don’t know anything about you, and I need those things to make me feel safe.’

  More silence.

  A jolt of pain slashed her heart like a whip and disappointment joined the party. This was exactly the reaction she’d expected, but that meant… ‘Look, it doesn’t matter. I need to get back to work.’

  ‘Wait.’ Calvin’s voice was hoarse. ‘This isn’t how things usually go with me. I don’t do the dating thing anymore.’

  ‘Why?’

  He took a deep breath. ‘My marriage ended… badly.’

  Shey’s eyes widened. ‘Oh.’

  ‘Can’t we just…’ He seemed lost for words.

  ‘Screw? I told you, I want that. But I can’t just jump into bed with you. It’s not in my nature.’

  ‘I wouldn’t hurt you.’ His voice was dark, almost a growl.

  ‘I know, but it’s just who I am. I need to know the person I’m sharing my body with. After, well, we can put a time limit on it. Make rules. I don’t know.’

  ‘Do you like rules, Shey?’

  The anxiety melted under a fresh wave of desire. ‘That depends on what the rules are, Calvin.’ She imitated his tone.

  ‘Fuck. You’re killing me, gorgeous.’

  Grinning, she said, ‘Back at ya, hot stuff.’

  He laughed, but it sounded frustrated. ‘You win. My cock’s too hard for you to justify any protests.’

  ‘Good. It’s only fair since I’m squirming on my seat.’

  He growled, and it was her turn to laugh.

  ‘Tomorrow night. I’ll take you out.’ His tone suggested arguing would be pointless.

  ‘What if I have plans?’ she teased.

  ‘Change them. I can’t… don’t make me wait any longer.’

  The desperation that leaked through the command played on her own. She couldn’t wait either. ‘Pick me up at seven.’

  After giving Calvin her address, she went back to work with a stupid grin on her face.

  ***

  ‘Did I tell you how beautiful you look?’ Calvin asked as he helped Shey into the cab.

  Beautiful was an understatement. She looked edible in a tight red tube dress that stopped just above her knees. Even though it hid her cleavage and thighs, the fabric gave him a glimpse of what he was itching to get his hands on. Every curve of her hourglass body was visible, and the dress blocking the view only seemed to heighten the drive to find out what was underneath.

  But Shey wanted to get to know him.

  It had been years since he’d let a woman know what lay beneath the surface, and her request should have made him bolt in the opposite direction.

  When it came down to it he couldn’t run, and not just because he wanted her. He wanted to know the woman who was so set on having control in the bedroom, the reasons why she shot him down over and over when it was clear she wanted him just as badly. Hell, he wanted to know Shey; pure and simple.

  ‘That another line?’ she asked as he joined her in the cab.

  He flashed a grin, then told the driver where they were going. As the car pulled away fro
m the sidewalk, he took her hand in his. The connection between them buzzed stronger, just from the feel of her skin on his.

  He couldn’t wait to find out what would happen when he was inside her.

  ‘I told you, Lopez, with you I don’t need lines.’ He brushed a kiss over her knuckles.

  ‘Because I can see through your bullshit,’ she said.

  He laughed and used his grip on her hand to tug her closer. Shey came along, but she had a guarded expression in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. Like she was hiding something, or trying to protect herself from him. Either way, he wasn’t going into it now.

  He’d answer her questions—within reason—and they could either go back to his place or reschedule for another night. Calvin still had to make sure she understood he didn’t do relationships, but they enjoyed each other’s company, so hanging out with her wouldn’t be a chore. So long as she knew where they stood. He meant what he said when he told her he wouldn’t hurt her, and he hadn’t just meant physically.

  When they arrived at the restaurant and were seated, Shey glanced around like she hadn’t seen anything like it. He had to admit, the Italian Bistro was on the romantic side with its antique décor, wooden arches, and ivy-covered stone wall. The lights were dim, the tables lit by floating tea-light candles. Not his first choice for a date because it threw out the wrong message, but the food was out of this world and Shey deserved the best.

  The waiter handed them menus and asked what they would like to drink.

  ‘Would you like red wine?’ Calvin asked her.

  ‘I’d love some.’

  Her smile was so spectacular, he wanted to put it there again. Without turning back to the waiter, he asked for a bottle of Château Lafite, not to impress her, but because he guessed the taste would put that grin back on her face with every sip.

  It slid away as she glanced at the menu, then her eyebrows shot up.

  ‘Problem?’ he asked.

  ‘It’s pricey here.’